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This Fifth Grade Girl Wrote a Set of Rules For a Boy Who Thought She was His Girlfriend

Fifth Grade Consent Letter


When we were in elementary school, we were trained to believe that boys being mean to us meant they were crushing hardcore. Sadly this thought never completely dissipated (as seen by every relationship we had in high school) but fifth-grader Zoe is making sure she’s not stuck in the same rut we once were. Instead of letting a fellow classmate be a jerk to her and let him think they were dating because of it, Zoe took a stand with a long list of rules written in multi-colored marker. Not only is she a badass, but she’s also crafty AF.

In an amazing list of “rules and regulations,” Zoe told Noah, a fellow classmate who apparently wouldn’t leave her alone because she was “his girlfriend,” that she was no longer putting up with his tomfoolery. It’s by far the best thing we’ve read all day, and we have Twitter user @WhosDenverJones to thank for it. She posted the photo online after her friend, who’s a teacher, couldn’t resist sharing the list with her.

Here’s a breakdown of what’s happening here:

1. Do not touch my shoulder

2. Do not get behind me with all that playing + foolishness. (Don’t get behind me at all)

3. Do not speak to me unless its a greeting, which will be never

4. Stop playing with me on the bus

5. I have a short temper with people and you ruin my day because you play 2 much

6. Reread 500 times

7. You like me (as a gf) but I don’t like you (as a bf) I’m 2 young!

YAS GIRL, PREACH! She also issued the best warning a girl can give: “If you break any of these rules I’m calling my dad, my mom’s friend, my fake mom, and a janator (don’t mind spelling) I know!!!!!!”

As if this warning didn’t end things with a bang,  Zoe threw in one last threat: “If you ruin my day I’m going to have to go to counseling!!!! Stop playing with me!!!!!!” Yup, she’s not f*cking around.

Sometimes you have to tell guys how it is. If they think you’re dating and you’re just not into it, you have to tell it to them straight. Zoe is a hero to the modern woman. I think we all learned a valuable lesson here today; If you don’t want a dude playing with you, write him a strongly worded list with multi-colored marker — it’s guaranteed to get your point across.

[H/T: Refinery29]

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