Note to self: never become a high school teacher.
A cooking teacher from Omaha Westside High School got quite the mouthful when three of her male students added a little something special to their pastries last week. According to reports, the boys, ages 14 and 15, each left their class together to go to the bathroom, then masturbated in containers and mixed the semen with frosting they were given to cover their pastries in.
When tasting the dish, the teacher — who thankfully remained anonymous throughout this horrifying story — noticed that they didn’t taste quite right. She didn’t find out the truth about the pastries until a fellow student, who overheard the boys talking about their sick plan, told her about what happened.
Obviously the local police were called immediately (who does that?!?!) and eventually interviewed the teens, two of which admitted to creating the mixture during their turnover prep. According to an Omaha Police Department press release, the third student involved claimed he wasn’t part of the prank.
The freshmen face misdemeanor disturbing the peace charges, and their cases will be handed over to juvenile court. But you know what? The amount of emotional trauma this teacher (and us) endured may never be fixed. I mean really? Covering a delicious pastry in semen? What kind of sicko are you?! We may never be able to eat a pastry again. Sad day for us.