Christmastime is filled with so many heartwarming traditions. Whether it’s trimming the tree, making snowmen or setting up the decorations all around the house, the holiday season is filled with so many fun ways of acknowledging the celebration. One of the greatest gifts of Christmas is the catalog of Christmas songs that play nonstop on the radio from the day after Thanksgiving to December 26.
There are so many classics, with beautiful versions of songs that are both religious and secular. “All I Want For Christmas Is You” is a classic crowd pleaser. Some other faves include “This Christmas” and “Joy To The World.”
Most Christmas songs tend to be pretty tame. They’re usually family faves with cozy, wholesome lyrics and religious references. For a lot of people, this holiday will be the only time they attend church during the year, which is a departure from the usual popular music.
Which songs are appropriate for church? These five songs have explicit lyrics, weird messages and/or are just really terrible. Don’t suggest these to the priest or we know where you’re going.
1. “Santa Baby” by Khia
“Santa Baby” has never really been an appropriate Christmas song. In its original version, the song is meant to be sultry. In “My Neck, My Back” rapper Khia’s version, the song is…. very, very adult. Mrs. Claus would not be happy. Please don’t do a mashup of this and “Mary, Did You Know?”
2. “Deck Da Club” by the Ying Yang Twins
The Ying Yang Twins are a major 2000s throwback, which is great, but their version of “Deck The Halls” is both hilarious and extremely NSFW. It sounds like Juvenile’s “Back That Azz Up” was recreated in a mall Santa’s basement. That said, “She make you think that she yo honey” is the original scam and that is worth appreciating.
3. “Drummer Boy” by Justin Bieber ft. Busta Rhymes
Justin Bieber‘s Christmas album is amazing, make no mistake. This is the exception. “Little Drummer Boy” is already a pretty heinous song in terms of quality (for real, it’s nonsensical) and adding a creepy “rap” verse by Biebs is making something even worse out of an already bad thing. Busta Rhymes tries his best but his lyrics are adequate at most and cringey at worst. This one is technically church-appropriate in that it doesn’t contain any explicit language but it definitely is trash.
4. “Christmas Tree” by Lady Gaga ft. Space Cowboy
This song is naughty. Very, very naughty. Thinly-veiled sexual references to Christmas trees and traditions are a recipe for the ultimate Christmas sex anthem. This song would be perfect for a night out at the club, but unless churches now have strobe lights and $15 vodka cranberries, it will definitely never be on a single page of the hymnal.
5. “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” by Zooey Deschanel & Leon Redbone
This song is also technically “safe” but based on the principle of its lyrics, this song is actually terrifying, particularly this version. It sounds like an very grown man is basically kidnapping a girl. This song is creepy and lacks actual knowledge of consent and though it seems fun at first, it is in fact not fun at all. Maybe sing this one in the car, but honestly don’t even think about the words too hard or it will be game over.