We live in a romance-obsessed world where songs and conversations with our girlfriends constantly revolve around falling in love or breaking up. It’s a topic that has risen Taylor Swift to the top of charts worldwide! It’s obvious how important finding “the one” can be. But how do we truly know if we’ve found “the one”? And how do we make it work forever?
It’s easy to find ourselves in relationships where we question the integrity or the seriousness of what we’re actually doing. How many times have we asked ourselves, “Is this going to last?” or “Is this the real deal?” Even when we know we’re head-over-heels in love, we drive ourselves crazy thinking of how to make it last and how to keep that person around.
Although there is no formulaic way to find true love or completely understand it, here are five things you should always remember when evaluating your relationship to see if he is “the one” and how to make it healthy and long-lasting.
1. Understand that love can hit you in unexpected ways.
Not everyone meets someone under some insane movie-like circumstances. We won’t all have stories like meeting a multi-billionaire sex addict on an interview and becoming his wife or being saved while dangling from the side of a giant ship. Most people meet their significant others in the most unexpected of circumstances. It could be at work, through mutual friends, or even in a class. Just because it isn’t some epic story you can boast about to your friends doesn’t mean it’s not fate. Just finding one another in this crazy world means you were meant to meet.
2. Evaluate why this person is right for you and acknowledge the signs.
Do they motivate you to be the best you can be? Do they love you not only at your best but also at your worst? And do you feel the same? Do you find it hard to not think about them day and night? Love starts with a feeling, but it’s a very deep emotion that comes from somewhere real. If you admire their goals and passions, agree with their outlooks on life and feel like you are finally whole after meeting them, they’re probably the one.
3. Ask yourself if you see a future with this person.
I’m not just talking about for the year or until you move along to your dream city. I know too many girls that date guys they claim to love but with whom they don’t see a committed future. The whole purpose of dating is to find that special person we could potentially spend the rest of our lives with. If you get butterflies at the thought of having a home with him one day and growing old together, then you are in the relationship with the right intentions.
4. Put their happiness first.
Let me explain. A relationship should be about what you both want and about compromising. If your partner has dreams that you can’t compromise and work with, then you need to let them do what makes them happy. Relationships will not work if one party feels forced into a situation they don’t want to be in or stuck in a relationship that isn’t fulfilling to their hopes and dreams. I’ve seen couples in which one person is happy and the other feels trapped. It never ends well. It needs to be a mutual connection and desire. You need to genuinely want the best for that person and for them to be happy. In the wise words of Passenger, “Only know you love her when you let her go.” Love is never selfish. When you’re both in it together, you’re in it to win it.
5. Put in hard work.
This is where never letting go truly comes into play. If after reading this you’re sure you found the love of your life, don’t just give up if things aren’t always easy. The best relationships on and off screen are the ones with the most history and the ones where most mistakes and forgiveness occurred. Take a look back at Ross and Rachel’s relationship from Friends. They survived everything from cheating to multiple fights and breakups and have one of strongest and most memorable television relationships. There is no such thing as the “perfect” relationship, only the strongest one. Ones where a love is so strong that you are able to overcome all of the obstacles life throws in your way. Relationships take hard work in communication, trust and compromising. “The one” is merely the one person that you ultimately choose to grow with, fight with because you care, forgive because you’re both living and learning and never let go of because you can’t imagine your life without them.
Sometimes when it comes to love there is no good explanation or any logical reason behind it. There is something inside both of you that is the same. From the moment you saw that in one another, you finally felt a little less alone and a lot more understood. When you find someone that special, you hold on tight and don’t let go.