What’s the best thing about spring? The warm weather is a plus and the growing flowers are a nice change from all the drab snow. For college students, the season is the pinnacle of fun in the sun (at least until summer hits), with it culminating in a week of freedom. Trips are planned and parties are in abundance, but sometimes alcohol and other substances can take things a bit too far and ruin an otherwise perfect vacation. We all know the basics like “don’t drink and drive” and “know your limits,” but no one really gave us tips on how to avoid the awkward drunk texts and the oven fires.
Here are a few things to keep under lock and key to avoid embarrassing or hurting yourself when you turn up.
1. Your phone.
The number one perpetrator of awkward drunk conversations is your phone. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten a drunken text from a friend or an ex about something embarrassing o-rated. And what did I do as a responsible best friend? I screenshotted it and showed them while they nursed a hangover in the morning. Needless to say, I’ve gotten less texts and calls lately. There are actually a couple phone apps you can use to lock some features while you’re drunk, such as Drunk Lock.
Heaven help you if you drunk dial your boss… Save yourself the trouble.
2. Your room.
No one likes it when someone comes snooping into your room. That becomes especially prevalent when alcohol and two adults come in. To prevent a bedroom disaster and an extra laundry day, lock your room and any other rooms you don’t want people to wander into.
3. Anything from your ex.
Love letters, old concert tickets, a photo from prom… If you still have them for some reason, don’t pull them out while you’re drunk. Chances are you’ll start thinking that getting back together is the best idea in the world. You are not in the right state of mind for that conversation. Lock those memorabilia up. Or better yet, burn them just in case your other drunk friends find them.
4. Your car keys.
This should be obvious, but if you’re planning on drinking you shouldn’t even consider driving. Hand over your keys to your designated driver of the night if you trust them more than your drunk self. If there aren’t any drivers and you’re planning on staying the night, get a jar and make everyone put their car keys in there. You’ll probably forget they’re in the jar while you’re buzzed after two rounds of beer pong.
5. Your wallet.
I kid you not, I had a friend that almost bought a real horse with his credit card before someone noticed and stopped him. When you’re drunk, even the wildest purchases can seem like an amazing deal. Keep your credit cards out of reach and have a buddy make sure you don’t buy anything stupid in cash. Your bank account will thank you in the morning. Believe me, you don’t need that giant cat condo. You don’t even own a cat.
6. Your computer.
Better yet, just log out of Facebook and Twitter for the night and erase your saved passwords. Assuming you’ve already locked your phone by now, the computer is the next place to write a drunk rant for all of your friends and family to see. Once it’s on the internet, it’s out there forever. Even if you don’t get on Facebook, you probably shouldn’t look up cute videos on YouTube when you’re emotionally and literally drunk.
7. The kitchen.
Not everyone can lock their kitchen, but at the very least, try to avoid the sharp and pointy objects. When you’re drunk or on other questionable substances, you suddenly get the craving for food. Try to order out or prepare food in advance. There’s nothing scarier than a drunk trying to cut limes with a huge chef knife. Trust me, I’ve seen it.
Keep these tips in mind the next time you plan your vacation or even if you party on other occasions. You can have all the fun in the world, but just remember that you’ll probably have to deal with the cleanup and the consequences in the morning. Keep your dignity safe and life safer by drinking responsibly.