Questions I Still Have After Watching ‘The Parent Trap’ 8,238 Times (Approx.)

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  1. Okay, let’s be real for a second. What parents would really agree on a “you take one, I take one” split for CHILDREN? Like, they’re not Oreos. Yes, they’re identical twins, but they’re not the same person?? Do they know this?
  2. Also, if it was just a brief fight of passion, wouldn’t you think one might somehow contact the other, you know, before 11 years later? Especially considering they have two children together?
  3. What sort of mother sends her son to an all-girls camp without reading the brochure, and then ignores all of his phone calls? Who is this, Miss Trunchbull?
  4. How do Annie and Hallie both know how to fence?
  5. Also, what kind of bougie summer camp has fencing?
  6. Does Hallie secretly harbor hatred for her nose and her teeth, and that’s why she criticized Annie’s (since presumably they would be the same?)
  7. OMG, why does Annie turn around and salute when she is entirely naked? GET IN THE WATER girl!
  8. How did Annie and her friends get those beds on the roof when none of these girls have the muscle to even pick up their duffle bags?
  9. WHAT KIND OF A CAMP banishes two of its kids to an isolation cabin by themselves away from everyone? Like, parents sue over so much less than this.
  10. Did Annie invent the groutfit?
  11. Have no British people heard of Leonardo DiCaprio?
  12. Did Nick Parker inherit money from his parents, or did he genuinely make enough to somehow have that ENORMOUS vineyard to himself?
  13. Did Oreos and Skippy peanut butter make any money for these product placements?
  14. How did this picture get perfectly torn right down the middle, and how is it the only picture from their marriage? This literally makes zero sense.
  15. Are they allowed to speak to any other campers or participate in any camp activities?
  16. Couldn’t Annie have found stick-on earrings somewhere, or said her holes closed up?
  17. Would your parents have really noticed your lack of earrings if they can’t even notice you’re not their child?
  18. This isn’t even a question, but I am APPALLED at these camp counsellors.
  19. Are we supposed to believe Annie has never once asked her mother what her father was like or how her parents met growing up?
  20. Nick Parker meets Meredith and proposes to her within eight weeks when he’s never even had a girlfriend since his first marriage?
  21. Who doesn’t like eggs, orange juice, or bacon, but likes trout (other than, of course, Annie?)
  22. Did Nick Parker and Elizabeth James live in medieval times where everyone knows how to professionally fence and horseback ride?
  23. Why do Chesse and the butler and Grandfather know the girls so much better than their parents do?
  24. TBH what kind of parent doesn’t tell their daughter they have a twin? Yes, I’m still caught on this.
  25. And why did they break up like immature teenagers without discussion when they had children to consider?
  26. Does Nick even like this 26-year-old child? Because I have seen literally zero moments of chemistry between them.
  27. Why are the twins so salty about getting grounded when they’re literally only friends with each other and also their plan totally worked?
  28. And, finally: how long do we think Hallie was posing with the newspaper for before her mother and Annie finally come home?

God, this is still the best movie ever made.

Molly ThomsonCOLLEGECANDY Writer
Writer. Boxed mac & cheese aficionado. I tried to start a girl-band when I was 12.
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