As soon as ABC announced that it was recreating the nostalgic, classic dance movie staple Dirty Dancing for no reason whatsoever, fans of the film were, well, concerned. After all, how could anyone recreate Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Gray’s alluring chemistry? How could the final dance scene be more iconic? How could the inherent awkwardness and appeal of Gray’s Baby be replicated?
As it turns out, we were right to be concerned. The remake of the film is a sloppy, poorly-cast, scene-by-scene downgrade with watered-down song covers, a genuine lack of emotion in any of the characters, and dancing worse than the post-credits karaoke party in Shrek.
They. Sing. The. Final. Song. Then, they subvert the original ending, going full La La Land — though I don’t believe enough in the protagonists’ chemistry to mind.
Rather than go on about this (because I COULD GO ON; this remake makes Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights look like an Oscar-worthy character study), here are some tweets to back me up.
Every bit of this movie was an affront on the original masterpiece. It took romance and made it as appealing as a seventh-grade hallway kiss. It took family dynamics and made them as boring as The Secret Life of the American Teenager. And it took dancing…
and made it this.
If you need me, I’ll be watching the final dance scene from the original film on Youtube on repeat in an effort to cleanse myself.