The Harry Potter books are as recognizable to most of us as Harry himself is in the wizarding world — they serve as a symbol of comfort, of hope, and of light in dark times.
Still, that didn’t stop one enterprising man from seeking the books out for himself online and failing in a fashion even Lockhart couldn’t match. (If I can’t be nerdy when writing about Harry Potter when can I?)
Chris Chappell, a New York journalist who works on a show called China Uncensored, accidentally purchased and read NSFW fan fiction that involves Dudley jumping off a building to his death, Harry and Hermione getting “intimate,” a disembowelment curse, and Draco and Ginny faking a rape scene, among other plot twists.
He texted his co-worker, fellow journalist Shelley Zhang, to double-check that he was reading the right book series after Dudley’s death.
After a few clarifying questions, Zhang quickly informed him that he was absolutely under no circumstances reading Harry Potter.
“I’m laughing so hard I’m crying,” she texted him, and this was before he revealed that in this fan fic version, the wizarding age of consent is 15.
She tweeted their text exchange and it has gone viral, amassing 130,000 likes.
That said, despite his realization, Chappell is hooked on the fan fic version. “I kind of do want to read the next fake book and see how its all resolved,” he told Buzzfeed.
He isn’t the only one; this fan fiction sounds like a national treasure.