While I am a massive Bachelor franchise fan, I have never really been that committed to who won or who didn’t. When Brooks left a sobbing Desiree on a beach the day before he was supposed to propose, I was nothing more than mildly annoyed. Last night changed that. With Rachel’s decision to marry her safe bet over her true love, I was legitimately mad.
After last night’s heartbreaking episode, there were two general schools of thought: Rachel messed up and chose the wrong guy and The Bachelorette actually showed something really real for once.
I follow a lot of Bachelor alums on Snapchat and Instagram (I am dedicated, okay?) and the consensus between them and us alike was that the relationship (and fight) between Rachel and Peter was extremely real. I think every single person who has ever had any sort of relationship with any other human person, whether it is friendship, a romantic partnership, or even family, painfully understood the “I want you to do it because you want to do it” vs. “I will do it because I know that it is important to you.” During that scene between Peter and Rachel, I really thought that Peter was going to propose right then and there to prove to Rachel that he wanted to be with her forever — and I think that even Peter thought about it. But at that point, it was too far gone in Rachel’s opinion because she wanted the proposal and she wanted Peter to want it as bad as she did.
While I really do think that Rachel made a mistake in letting Peter go, I do understand both sides. Let’s break it down.
First, there is Rachel’s side. I legitimately understand Rachel’s frustration with the fact that Peter was so stuck in his idea of not getting engaged at the end of the show. This is where I think Peter was in the wrong: he had decided that he was only going to get engaged once in his life and because of this opinion he had built his engagement up in his head to be this unattainable thing. He was talking to Rachel about where they were going to live, their kids, even specifics like what kind of bed they were going to buy, but all of that wasn’t enough to change the idea he had in his head about engagement, even though everything he was saying overtly showed that he planned to spend the rest of his life with Rachel. Had Peter thought more seriously at the beginning of the show when he first started getting feelings for Rachel about maybe being engaged in the course of a couple months, by the time the final rose came, he could have been ready to propose to her and to be sure that it was going to be the only time that he was ever going to propose.
Now, onto Peter’s side of things. It is fair to not think that it is appropriate to get engaged to someone after knowing them for three months and having really only spent about 10 hours total with them. While it was unfair of Peter to continue on the show when he knew he wasn’t ready to propose, especially keeping in mind that Rachel was in it to get engaged, he also couldn’t control his feelings and his love for Rachel. When he said in the scene that she was going to have a mediocre life if she chose someone else just to get engaged at the end, he wasn’t wrong. Rachel ended up making a really weird decision when she decided that she was going to give up someone who she was meant to share the rest of her life with because he wasn’t going to propose in three months.
I think I am disappointed, as well as almost everyone else is, because she so obviously chose the proposal and that comfort over the potential for such a great, unbreakable love with Peter. I am anxious for Rachel about the making that massive of a life decision because you are hell-bent on a ring.
The approval of Rachel as the lead has gone way down since the episode because of how she has treated Peter since. When he was apologizing during the interview with Chris Harrison for saying that she was going to have a mediocre life, she literally turned her back to him and said, “I am living my best life!” Not really a great way to act towards someone that you shared such a connection with and were openly in love with three months earlier.
Also, in an interview this morning, Rachel she said that Bryan was the one all along and she was always planning on sending Peter home the night before. That doesn’t seem right. You actually spent the entire day begging Peter to propose to you and were so desperate that you literally enlisted the help of some random monk to say the word marriage 800 times in a five-minute time span. I don’t think anyone has any doubt about the fact that had Peter proposed she would have said yes.
Considering how openly distraught and heartbroken Peter was during the live show, you would think that Rachel would want to show a bit more compassion to someone who meant so much to her and who feels as if there is something wrong with him because he couldn’t propose to her in three months.
What I always think about with Bachelor breakups is how awful it must be to be the runner-up. In a normal breakup, it hurts but both people are left feeling pretty awful. With Bachelor breakups, one is always left feeling awful enough for both of them while the other is legit engaged to another person. You could just tell how upset Peter was.
Rachel, girl, I loved you this entire season and with that humour, sass and wit, you were well on your way to be the best leading lady in history, but the second that you so obviously chose an engagement and a ring over a real, one-for-the-ages love story with Peter, you let everyone down. Let’s just hope that, against the odds, you didn’t also let yourself down.
We could have lived in a world of gap-toothed babies and puppy parties but we now live in a world of back adjustments, obvious mommy issues and alleged cheek implants so love is officially dead.