With the start of a new quarter comes the excitement of new classes and a new schedule. And new TAs. While my friends are frantically researching classes that both fill their requirements and leave Friday open, I’m zoning out at my desk dreaming (and praying) about a tall, handsome, smart, romantic, witty discussion leader.

One that I’ve never, ever had the pleasure of having.
I have, however, encountered a creepy TA that just would not go away, which seems to be more the norm than the exception. Here is my story:

I was a cute and innocent little freshman when this all went down. The grad student, let’s call him Jeff, was TA-ing for one of my history classes winter quarter. I’m a history major and have a natural love of history and hearing my own voice, so I was basically the ONLY person that ever said anything in section. But I always felt creeped out when Jeff looked at me. Especially those few times I wasn’t saying anything at all. I could see in his face that he wasn’t looking at me as the brilliant history mind that I (thought I) was; it was obvious he was thinking things a little – ew – naughtier. Being young and naive, I brushed it off and pulled an A in the class. Probably much easier than I should have.

The very next quarter – lucky me! – he was my section leader again. Awesome. The quarter went by pretty much the same as the one before it. And again, I pulled a very easy A. Read More »

Nothing says holiday spirit like talking about Lady GaGa’s “Christmas tree,” which, FYI, is delicious.

Leave it to Lady to take the phrase “Ho, ho, ho” literally. I’ve never heard so many Christmas-themed sexual innuendos in one place as I have in her new holiday song featuring Space Cowboy. In fact, I didn’t even realize so many existed. I’ll never be able to look at a Christmas Tree the same again. Not that I’m surprised; I’m just impressed GaGa beat Britney and Lil Jon to it.

Thanks to this new jam, I’ll never be able to kiss under the misteltoe again without picturing Lady Gaga stripping off her unitard and showing off her tree in honor of the birth of the baby Jesus. Oh, the thought alone just gives me the shivers.

(Note: I realize there is nothing to see in this video. And you should be glad. After the hot mess that was Bad Romance, lord only knows what The Gags would do for this one…)

Your hair is done, your makeup is on and you’re outfit is perfect. All you have to do is pack that wristlet and you’re ready to head out with your friends. Money? Check. ID? Check. Camera? Check.

Before you leave, you mix a few drinks and have a mini dance party with the girls. Two rum and Diets and a few old school Britney songs later, it’s time to head out. But not without a “SELFIE!!”

You gather the girls around, make your sexy face, stick that arm out and capture the moment.

“Let me see!” your friends shriek.
“Ew. I have a double chin. One more!” So you take one more.
“Cuuuute!” everyone agrees. You put the camera back in your bag and head off to the bars. Read More »

Should Greg Paulus switch teams and head to Michigan?

Miranda Tozier-Robbins can’t seem to leave Britney alone.

Don’t let the recession put a wrinkle in your beauty budget.

Dina Lohan takes credit for Lindsay’s video.

Oprah Tweets!

Have an endless summer in your own backyard.

Dear Mean Bloggers/News Outlets of the Americas,

Are you kidding me? Like, seriously; are you freaking kidding me?

You’re calling Jessica Simpson fat? FAT?! Maybe she put on a few pounds this winter (just like the rest of the population), or maybe she is the victim of a terrible, TERRIBLE, wardrobe malfunction (hello, mom jeans), but the girl is by no means fat.

I won’t even comment on how ridiculous our society is that this is one of the top headlines today. (Ok, yes I will. There are much bigger things happening in this world right now – things that matter – and all I can find online is a picture after picture of Jessica Simpson’s “severe weight gain”?) And who are we that we have the right to call anyone fat? Unless you have a medical degree or some kind of nutrition background, SHUT UP; it’s not your place to comment.

These days it is so easy to bring someone down thanks to the privacy we have behind our computer screens, but that doesn’t mean we should. Especially when the entire purpose of the comments people make is to be mean and hurtful. These comments are not concerned about her health – and she sure doesn’t seem to be at risk for obesity – so why are we even commenting on her figure at all? Does it feel good to see someone else with flaws? Does it make us feel better to be catty, mean bitches?

If anything I think it makes us look even more insecure about our bodies and ourselves. Read More »

Celeb girl crush: Amanda Bynes.

Get rid of those zits fast!

Most expensive college dorms…yikes.

Gifts to spice up your Valentine’s Day.

Jessica Alba does not heart Bill O’Reilly.

A DIY skirt, you say?

Katy Perry isn’t kissing anyone! 

Controversy about Brit’s lyrics…just LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE.

Discount Alert… on Obama tats.

Blake Lively and Justin Long? I knew she was a Mac girl…

Happy Squirrel Appreciation Day, everybody.

Start making some money on those used books.

As 2008 draws to a close, those of us here at College Candy strive to provide you with a recap of the year in pop culture, poring over countless magazines and endless E! programs to get the full scoop of the year’s worst. In no particular order, we present to you our list of Pop Culture shiz that should forever stay in 2008.

The Pregnant Man – Thomas Beattie became the sensation of the world in April when he appeared on Oprah to defend his choice to have a child as a transgendered man. Sticking up for your beliefs? Awesome, and definitely commendable. Eventually turning into a fame slut and marketing out your second pregnancy? Not cool. Now pregnant with his second child, Beattie has already cemented a book deal on his experience and been interviewed a second time as a ‘Barbara Walters Exclusive.’ One child is a miracle. A second one immediately afterwards is a marketing scheme.

Batsh** Insane Celebrities Across The Media - Britney, Lindsey, and others: we’re talking to you. 2008 was the year of the mental millionaire, with the world playing a captive audience to the tragic, bizarre, and sometimes just eerie behavior of celebrities. We watched Britney Spears struggle to put her life back together after divorce, Lindsey Lohan battling various addictions, and Scarlett Johansson crossing the borderline into stalker-ish about Barack Obama. Here’s the real scoop: an estimated 57.7 million adults are suffering from a diagnosable mental illness in the United States alone. What makes these celebrities any different from these people who are suffering in private besides their income and the paparazzi that shadow them? Watching people suffer is definitely a trend that shouldn’t cross over into ‘09. Read More »

Welcome to my Weekly Love List. A list on all things I love, because if I love them – well then obviously you may (and should) love them too.As the Backstreet Boys song says (and yes I am actually quoting them) “My Love is All I Have To Give.” So with that throwback, here are this week’s list-worthy things…]

1. Right now it’s all about Britney’s comeback, but after spending my Friday night in a bowling alley with a bar and massive music videos playing that made me think it was 1999, I started to wish the comeback was for someone else: our dear friend, Whitney. As in Houston. As in “It’s not right, but it’s okay,” and all the other amaaazingness that she brought before she went all drug bust on us. So, as Whit once said, Greatest Hits CD, “I will always love you.”

2. While doing some research on great gift idea websites, my BFF Google suggested a site called kaboodle, which reminded me of Caboodles. Which made me get all nostalic, and there is nothing I love more than nostalgia. So my curiousity was piqued and as it turns out- Caboodles? Still in business (and still an awesome gift for your nostalgic friends). I think I still have my turquoise, pink and purple one from the 80’s – nothing better than lifting up that clip and opening the top layer just to find more sparkley blue eye shadow beneath it!

3. Ok, enough missing my middle school days. Right now I heart these scarves. They spruce up an outfit, hide the cleaveange in front of your grandma, and make you look effortlessly coooool.

4. Keurig Individual Coffee Maker: When you live alone making a whole pot of coffee just seems useless. This may just be the best invention ever. So many flavors, brews super fast (when you wake up late for class), and makes that perfect cup for late night studying and hangover cures alike.

5. Ojon ‘Rub Out’ Dry Cleanser. For days when you oversleep but realllly shouldn’t have because your hair looks like Danny’s from Grease (or just actual grease?). Fear no more. This stuff does the trick when you need to stretch it out for one more day and it smells good. Not like grease at all; more like heaven. Now that is (Summer) lovin’.

As a woman, I know we have a tendency to be rather catty at times. I’m not sure if it is nature or nurture, but it is there and sometimes it can get the best of us. Who is better to teach women the art of cattiness, than the women of Hollywood? We are constantly exposed to bickering women not only on TV and in the movies, but also in the celebreality of their day-to-day lives. The cattiness factor comes more often than not when a man is involved and the love triangle becomes a tug-of-war. (Please keep in mind, in most of these upcoming catty situations the guy is hardly worth it…except for maybe Brad.)

Read More »

What do you get when you mix a bleached midwestern queen screaming under his bedsheet, with a monotonous, bouncing, electric piano line?

A whole lot of pain – chocolate pain. Here is our rendition of the newest YouTube crazy, Chris Crocker ranting over Tay Zonday’s viral classic, “Chocolate Rain”.

The end result ain’t pretty. We apologize in advance.