The other night I was watching the newest episode of The Vampire Diaries (my ultimate guilty pleasure) on DVR and doodle-texting away on my Samsung Galaxy Note. At one point I thought I was seeing double after I hit “send” when I looked up at the screen to find one of the vamps doing the exact same thing…on the exact same phone.

First things first, please understand that I am a glutton for punishment. My feelings don’t really get hurt. I’m stubborn. I think I know what’s best for myself and everyone else. I like to fix things. I’m a huge fan of sleepovers that end with brunch. What am I saying here? Basically, reentering a very broken relationship sounds, to me, like a fun adventure full of personal challenges, great make-up sex and guaranteed eggs benedict.

Geraldo Rivera has been sounding off today about how he feels Trayvon Martin’s hoodie is to blame for his murder. Apparently kids who wear hoodies look like gangsters, and gangsters get shot. Duh. Why didn’t someone explain this to us sooner?

Happy almost St. Patrick’s Day! Will you be suiting up in your green tomorrow? I know I will be – I think I’m still scarred from the one time in elementary school that my classmates decided my shirt wasn’t green enough. Just in time for St. Patty’s Day, Guinness sent over an infographic with some crazy facts about the holiday of drunken debauchery. I have to say, I hadn’t ever really thought about how much beer is consumed on that …

Yup. Jason Russell, the man responsible for Kony 2012 and all the hype that surrounded the video, has been detained for some pretty interesting reasons. The San Diego Police Department says they received a call yesterday in regard to Mr. Russell allegedly masturbating in public, vandalizing cars and quite likely under the influence of…something.

I come from the opinion that my relationships are really no one’s business but my own. In my book, this rule especially applies to those brand new, gray-area relationships. This method rarely works to my advantage, so watch me turn a new leaf, everyone! I’m coming up with a new set of rules on when you should divulge info, who said info should be shared with and what’s actually worth sharing.

I might as well come out and say it: I love Steak and a Blowjob Day. And no, not because I have a penis. I don’t. That would be awkward. It’s because I firmly believe guys deserve a day to get theirs. But really, we get Valentine’s Day…why shouldn’t there be a day specifically set aside to indulge your best guy? Hear me out.

Things that do not surprise me: 1. Linsay Lohan was in a nightclub last night; 2. She opted to drive herself home from said nightclub; 3. She totally hit a dude with her car; 4. She fled the scene; 5. Now the dude is suing.

Girls love to whine and act like meeting men is this big, impossible feat. I would like to respectfully disagree. If you’re relatively attractive and have a halfway decent personality, meeting guys is like shooting fish in a barrel. I’ve found the hard part comes after you’ve found that one amazing guy. He’s your basic catch. And guess what? He just asked you out. On a first date. Welcome to Hell.

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