In a college world where (shocker!) people drink and hook-up on a regular basis, it's always a lovely gift in disguise to have a wingwoman by your side who supports you, sets you up for success, and is your personal cheerleader.
That's what life is all about. Creating a story that you've lived, grasping everything around you and pulling it all in.
Maps open a world of possibilities to travelers of every kind. Through charted courses and roads yet to be discovered.
I’ve been a flight attendant for eight months. I’ve jetsetted to Washington DC, Seattle, Las Vegas, Trinidad, Florida, Colorado, New York, California and well…okay...Lansing, Michigan and Madison, Wisconsin.
I recently turned 24-years-old, had a pre-mid life crisis (that means seriously premature) and quit my job in advertising to become a flight attendant. There. It’s out there. Now you know where this is going (well, kind of).
And I'm not talking about the one where Bradley Cooper prances around and humps a tiger near a cop car. I'm talking about the one where you wake up feeling like a shriveled, dehydrated raisin, and you can barely curl up in fetal position without feeling nauseous let alone want to hump things.
Apr 27, 2012
The other day, I was at my friend's sister's dinner party -- she was throwing her husband a surprise birthday party -- and I felt terribly immature. I mean, this girl had her LIFE together.
Apr 26, 2012
In high school, I kept a notebook full of quotes. Seriously. It's in my closet at my parents' house now, completely chock-full of the cheesiest quotes I could get my over-hormonal 16-year-old hands on. Need an example of one? Luckily, I live at home and have easy access to the notebook. Allow me to share some of the highlights...
Apr 18, 2012
Lately, I've been in a huge, post-grad rut. There are so many things I wanted to accomplish IMMEDIATELY upon graduating from college (i.e. being a successful writer, getting my own studio apartment, making lots of money), and of course...none of that has happened. So all I'm left to do is sit and wonder why none of it is progressing at the speed of light.
I have a confession to make. (I really end up making a lot of those on here, don't I?) I've been in a lot of relationships. Those of every kind. Relationships that end dramatically. Relationships where he was too obsessed. Relationships where I was too obsessed. Relationships that were bittersweet and suddenly went horribly sour. But I don't think I've ever been in love.
The lighting in the bar was perfectly dim for a Friday night, helping to hide every outlandish thought in my increasingly fuzzy head. I only say "fuzzy" because I was deep into my 32 oz. Blue Moon, and -- let me tell you -- when you practically mainline a Blue Moon after forgetting to eat all day, something magical happens.
I remember the days when my nose was pressed against the screen in English class, trying to hide the fact that I was scrolling through Perez Hilton. I was obsessed with checking Perez regularly. How many pee-pees was he going to draw on Jennifer Love-Hewitt's face today?!? Now that I'm older and, ahem, more mature, I've found some grown-up blogs that are just as addictive!!
It's only human to have those moments (no matter how long they last) when you feel like you can't do ANYTHING right. Ok, my moment has been going on for over a week. I feel like I've been spending too much money, apologizing way too many times to people, not returning things I've borrowed, slipping from my usual tip-top form at work...and it's all so exhausting. With all these mistakes, I'm feeling super guilty.
Before I begin, this post is dedicated to all of the wonderful ladies (and men, if you're reading) out there that feel a little stuck and lost in a life post-college. The world often feels bustling with too many confident individuals and not enough nervous, actual human beings just trying to find their place -- both in the universe and in the Starbucks line each morning before work. I want you to read this post aloud with your hand on your heart and your chin lifted high.
I have discovered the answer to ALL post grad problems. The post grad problems I'm talking about consist of: stress, finding jobs that make you happy, dating mature human beings, partying, being adventurous, finding yourself...you get the point. So, how are we supposed to conquer all of these grown up issues at such a young age? Be obsessed with yourself.
The other day, I walked into Home Depot with a mission. A mission to find a soft, neutral color that would match the awkward black trim of...my parents' basement.That's right. One month ago, I moved back home. And now, I'm sitting here with my dear mother at our kitchen counter in full on PJ-wear at noon, playing Words with Friends, browsing Pinterest and drinking coffee (because she's my new roommate).
Then we had one of those moments over the phone where if we were in person we'd be jumping up and down hugging each other and falling on the floor in a tangled excited mess. This was happening. My first girlfriend was getting married to a person she truly loved and my lady mind couldn't wrap my thoughts around it.
If I were to ever win a gold medal in the Olympics, it would be for over-thinking EVERYTHING. I guess I fit the typical girl stereotype. It's totally like me to stand in the cosmetics aisle in Target for 80 hours trying to figure out which type of mascara I want. I'll over-think a text I'm about to send to someone I'm dating. I'll over-analyze a conversation I had with a friend and turn it into something it probably wasn't in the first place.
I need a focus adjustment. Let's just say I've been a little on the negative side lately. At first, I tried blaming it on the crappy weather (like I usually do) and then I realized I could be dealing with a personal problem. For example, whenever I'm about to do virtually anything, I immediately envision the worst possible outcome.
I want to relive the small moments. I want to relive the teeny side glances, the sweet kiss goodbye, the surprise compliment I received, the heartfelt compliment I gave. And then I'm left feeling at a loss -- feeling like, though I did experience all those things, I also didn't.
I flew across some interesting factoids about how to boost his ego after sex. How does Cosmo want you to do it? Say, "That thing you do with your tongue is unbelievable!" Whew, I'm getting exhausted just thinking about this. But maybe it's just been too long since I've had a popsicle.
I've said it before 48,573 times and I will say it again. Life after college is a hectic whirlwind. And most of your time is spent trying to decipher if you're happy with who you are, what you're doing and where you're doing it all. Is this what I'm supposed to be doing? Does this make me happy? He loves me, he loves me not. Blah, blah, blah, blah. But what happens after that hump?
Lately, I've been noticing something about these happy hours. I jump on them with all of my friends. New friends, old friends, friends from college, friends from high school, friends from work...and I realized something. My friend groups are slowly growing apart.
In college, I got into a nasty habit with my sweatpants. Our relationship took a very public turn. Yep, my sweatpants relationship was all about the PDA and I went everywhere with them on. Grocery store, library, Target, the mall...we were attached at the hip (pun intended).
This month, Maxim is ready to deck the halls in cool man gadgets, girls from England and France in their underpants and crazy sex tips that will make every single man look like a jolly blue-balled Santa Clause. Who's ready to dig in??
Fine, I'll admit it. I got the idea from a recent Cosmopolitan article, sue me. But also, please nod in approval for me finding the only semi-classy article in Cosmo. The article inspired my heart strings. French women live fabulously, non-apologetically, mysteriously, seductively....I couldn't pull my eyes away from it and obvi I have to share it with you.
Aside from a fierce lady on the cover, Cosmo really gathered a fabulous mishmash of takeaways from this month's issue. Great, easier for me to gather the ridiculousness!
In one week, I spent half a day in Jamaica (bought Roasted Ground coffee and coconut rum candies), I explored nearly every edge of New York City (found a killer pizza parlor, took mock pictures at Tiffany's and ate cookies from Bouchon Bakery) and I sunbathed next to a clear pool in Florida while sending Twit-Pics of the palm tree-clad view.
College was a large Biodome for easy mistakes, debauchery, learning and living. And now that I've been out of college for a while, a few things have become irresistibly harder to accomplish without this grand ol' biodome of easy living. I've dealt with the following combo platter of difficulties in the real world, and in every situation I contemplated ripping my hair out.
This month, Maxim wants to give thanks for leaves crunching under feet, families gathered around large piles of food and gorgeous women who are wearing nothing but footballs. That pretty much narrows being thankful to three things: pleasure, food and sex. Needless to say, I wasn't surprised.
Before I get into the slipper business, I want to share my feelings with you. Since I'm a girl, I tend to have a big barrel of sparkly emotions in my closet. For a while I've been feeling...lost. That sounded super sad and lame in my head, but I can't think of any other way to explain it.
Ok...and since I can't resist any longer, I have to whip out my favorite article of the month. But be careful, you might get a thong slung at your face! Yes, Cosmo went through the trouble of coming up with '25 Kinky Things to Do With Your Undies.'
Me and a few girlfriends put on our highest heels and tightest jeans, teased out our hair, chugged a glass of wine and strut our stuff downtown. For the first time, I felt a hint of cougar status brew in my insides. I was only a year older than most of the people in the bar...aside from the 18-year-old freshman busting in with fake IDs. But we all promised ourselves that this was only an experiment -- to hands-on discover how much we'd grown up in the past year. Right?
My roommate and I can relate, we’ve both been single for a while, we both like to go out and have fun and we both like to dish about it. Naturally, our conversation led to something a little sacred in the dating world. Sexay time.
I can't believe I'm being this depressing on hump day! But, I'm being serious and honest. Even if you get a entry level job out of college, money is low, low, low, low (and you won't be buying boots wit dah fur, if you catch my drift).
The October issue of Cosmopolitan is hot on the shelves, people. It's time to talk about sex, exercising using sex, words to use during sex, shocking celebrity secrets about sex and things you should never stop doing during sex. Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex! That's right--if you're looking for a recipe or a new color to paint your living room, you best move on. So let's get started, shall we?