I can’t believe I’m being this depressing on hump day! But, I’m being serious and honest. Even if you get a entry level job out of college, money is low, low, low, low (and you won’t be buying boots wit dah fur, if you catch my drift).

The October issue of Cosmopolitan is hot on the shelves, people. It’s time to talk about sex, exercising using sex, words to use during sex, shocking celebrity secrets about sex and things you should never stop doing during sex. Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex! That’s right–if you’re looking for a recipe or a new color to paint your living room, you best move on. So let’s get started, shall we?

The first indication that I am my mother happened when I was a freshman in college. I bought a bottle of instant Lysol wipes and casually cleaned by little dorm room every Sunday (my mom never goes a day without creating vacuum streaks on our family room carpet). The second indication was that I secretly began to think people weren’t sincere if they weren’t on time (my mom doesn’t rely on people who are consistently late — she’s always told me it’s a terrible shot to their character).

I always love Maxim during Halloween because they write and feature the craziest stuff possible. Need proof? The first two headlines I laid eyes on for October’s cover were: ‘A Polar Bear Ate My Head,’ and ‘Secrets of Lesbian Sex: How to Get in on the Action.’ No wonder I grabbed the last issue on the newsstand. Men want them some gore and girl on girl.

My failure to hang out with my girlfriends is an innocent mistake, but when me and my five college ladies planned a weekend (annual) getaway last weekend, I couldn’t help but get that little tingle of excitement in my veins to spend some time with people that make me feel fresh and fabulous. It’s real people; you can push time away from your clusterf*ck of a schedule, for your friends.

I’ve been so busy talking about how stressful and crazy my life has become since graduating from college all of this time, I haven’t even stopped to think about the serene course my life has taken as well.

To me, saying I’m insecure sounds a little harsh. It sounds a little wobbly and flaky. It sounds dishonest and awkward. Sometimes, it seems like I’m a little too big for it, kind of like Alice in Wonderland after she ate that piece of crack bread and grew her arms out of a cottage. But I’m willing to believe actually admitting an insecurity of any sort is the first step to fixing it.

My sex life has taken a nose dive into success before even opening the magazine! Because this month, I’m going to go naked and feel pleasure (awaiting the article fully clothed and by myself), learn about what my va-jay-jay is telling me (aside from calling it something sexier than a va-jay-jay), and about my bad-boy index. Can’t wait to see what a naughty fox I am.

In my last post, I had some really great feedback from CollegeCandy readers and I wanted to touch on a great question that was asked: Having a happy life is important, but what if you don’t know what it is that will make you happy? What if you can’t pinpoint it? How do you figure it out?

Whenever I read Maxim, along with staring at hot chicks, I learn the most random facts in the world. I never knew men were so interested in totally irrelevant and pointless information. Here’s a few random facts for you: Did you know Illinois recently passed a law that allows residents to pick up roadkill?