You’re taken. You’re in love. And you want everyone to know. Don’t get caught doing the following online — for all our sakes.

Our favorite legal TV streaming service may soon make you pay for cable just to watch a show online. Uhh, college kids can’t do that.

I used to be a college tour guide, in which I told prospective students that they could choose from over 150 different majors at my school. Apparently, 13 or so of them are completely useless — including mine. How about yours? Is your entire collegiate career a sham of actual productivity?

If you want to escape to the glamorous side of being young, wild and free, you watch Gossip Girl. For how to be thirty, flirty and fabulous, retreat to Sex and the City. But for a generation of women trying to navigate a discouraging job market and the confusion of their 20s, there’s nothing to watch on TV. Not until now, at least. Thanks, Lena Dunham, for ‘Girls’ — the best show on television for a lost flock of soon-to-be women.

We waited in line before midnight, hair braided to the side. We gawked over Effie’s costumes and laughed at Peeta’s attempts to spit game. And — spoiler alert! — we all cried when Rue died. All of us. And we didn’t cry any less because the actress is black — and then tweet about it. Is that wrong?

Note to self — “mean girls” exist well beyond both high school and college. And when they roam the streets of the real world like they’re stomping through the school hallways, they will set you up to fall into a trash can, head first, and smile about it. Heck, I even had one for a boss once — that woman paid me way too little for the crap she put me through for her own amusement.

Do you remember what it was like to buy your first PG-13 movie ticket on your own? What did it feel like when you started getting carded for R-rated movies? And how many films were you not allowed to see because of a silly ratings system that has now prevented a crucial documentary from being screened to the audience who needs it most?

Some people say Adele is too fat (are you kidding me, Karl?), while others say Angelina Jolie is too skinny (what a tiny right leg to cause such a meme!). In a world with eating disorders, push-up bras and hair colors that rotate like pairs of underwear, does a healthy female body image even exist? Israel is out to find out by banning underweight fashion models for good!

We’ve all been there: the class you planned to take next semester is now full. Even though you need that class to qualify for another upper-division course, accept that dream internship AND graduate on time, there just aren’t enough seats. How much would you pay to add that course? Is that even fair? Is that even legal?!?

Eating food that’s come straight out of the back of a truck is heavenly. Korean barbeque quesadillas, lobster cut rolls and more delicious delicacies are prepared fresh in a mini-kitchen that’s smaller than my dorm room. But food truck are NOT responsible for childhood obesity or more dangerous than marijuana. But yes, both have been suggested recently.