With the economy being what it is, I’ve found myself turning to the Internet more and more for both my daily necessities and my fashion cravings. If I see something in a store I like, I immediately look it up online, sometimes while I’m still in the store (thank you, iPhone), to find out if I can get it online for cheaper.

Other stores exist only in the online realm, and those can be very hit or miss. And when they’re selling items from a brand I’ve never tried before, it can be a bit nerve wracking ordering anything. Thank the recession gods, then, that there are websites that sell non-brand but still on-trend fashions for prices that are so low, I can browse, buy, and try out different styles without taking (too much) away from my rent money.

GoJane.com is a perfect example of an online-only store that sells trendy items for super cheap. The items are all GoJane.com brand, but like other trend chasing stores like Forever 21 and H&M, many of the GoJane items are almost identical copies of other popular brands and designer collections. They sell a pretty wide range of items, from shoes to prom dresses, and the clothing is suited for high school, college, and post-grad aged girls.

I took it upon myself to prowl the site, hunting for the best deals and cutest tops, bottoms, and boots, all in order to help you, dear College Candy reader, get started shopping on GoJane.

I’ve been eyeing these stud heel lace-up boots . They’re very similar to these Nine West “CUZZA” lace-up strapped boots, which, in turn, were inspired by a pair of Marc Jacobs’ ankle boots. I actually like the GoJane ones better than the Nine West ones because they’re a bit less rugged looking and a bit more fun. They’re currently on sale for $29.99, originally $42.99.

In college, your typical daily uniform probably consists of whatever jeans are clean and whatever shirt doesn’t smell, but every once and a while you do find yourself needing a cute dress and heels (like, when the parents come and you wrangle them into taking you that expensive Italian restaurant you could never afford on your student loan budget). One of my favorite dresses on the site is this purple chiffon flower tank dress on sale for $29.80. The flowers on the bust remind me of a 3.1 Phillip Lim design and the little princess shoulders and chiffon overlay are so pretty they make me want to wear a garland in my hair and throw a tea party.

If you want to go with a safe bet, try a pair of leggings, like these shiny liquid ones for $16.10, or these fun floral lace ones for $15.60.

Then there are things that I think are just plain ol’ adorable and just want to show you, like this colorblock shirt dress with an oh-so-cute drawstring waist and gold buttons on sale for $10.80, and these I-can’t-believe-how-cheap-they-are sailor jeans with a wide leg and button trim on sale for $28.70.

When you’re done shopping, be sure to use the code GJSHIP50 if your order is over $50 (which really shouldn’t be too hard with all this cute shiz) to get yourself some super nifty free shipping. It’s like shopping in a store…only so much better.

Check out my boot picks for fall below; from the low end to the highest end, I got somethin’ for everyone.

(Click on the pics for more info/to add em to your already overstocked shoe collection!):

Over-the-knee boots

This thigh-grazing style has been seen on fashionable celebs like Mischa Barton. The look is very fashion-forward and a bit hard to pull off, but when done right can look amazing. They look best with pants tucked in, not with short skirts or dresses with a short hem, which leave you lookin’ like a hooker.

If you are looking to splurge, check out the Joie boots on the left ($475), or, for the rest of us, the Newport News boot on the right is only $49. Bonus: they have a cool fold-over top so they can be worn two ways.

Buckle boots

Boots with buckles have a cool rocker look that’s a perfect juxtaposition to fall’s hippie inspired clothing – the more buckles, the more badass you’ll look. Look for ones with a mid- to high-heel in black or dark brown. Slouchy or upright both work, but stay away from an over-the-knee silhouette; it’ll look too “I like to ride motorcycles with my mullet-friendly boyfriend.”I especially like these pricey ones from Fiorentini + Baker ($775) on the left, but the cheaper Dollhouse ($83) ones with a low heel and six buckles are fantastic too.

Fringed boots

Fall is all about fringe, from fringe vests to fringe purses to fringe boots. Kate Moss definitely swept in the style by wearing Minnetonka fringe boots last year. You can pick up the same Minnetonka boots as her at Urban Outfitters ($78) or try a higher-end pair from Michael Kors ($465) with five layers of fringe.

Riding boots

Riding-style boots have been in for a while now, so if you haven’t already gotten yourself a pair, it’s definitely time to. Look for ones with buckles over the ankle or laces that end before the calf, and go for a low to flat heel. Thankfully there are tons of great options whether you’re broke or swimming in extra money from the big birthday.The best ones for a super low cost are these flat black ones from Mossimo for Target ($30) on the left. But even those aren’t nearly as fantastic as the uber price ($265) Corso Como ($265) ones on the right. Laces and a buckle? Totally worth the splurge.

Jewel-toned boots

If you’ve always wanted to rock a pair of purple boots but you didn’t think plum on your feet was appropriate, here’s your chance. Rich jewel tones on shoes and purses are perfect for fall. Look for deep purples, reds, blues, and greens in luxurious (or faux lux) suede or leather. Go low heel, high heel, ankle or knee high; it all works. I’m really into these sapphire blue suede ones from L’Autre Chose ($294) and these slouchy Steve Madden ($90) purple suede boots.

Ankle boots

Thank god ankle boots are still in because I’m obsessed with them. My favorites are ones that rise slightly above the ankle and have a platform (very Mary-Kate Olsen), but there are also fabulous flat ones, bootie ones, oxford style ones, granny looking ones, etc, etc, etc. Booties for everyone!

My faves are these affordable studded platform lace-up booties from Colin Stuart ($89) and these curvy grey ones from Ash ($274) with a cute four-button closure.

[For more fall fashion tips, join CollegeCandy's Facebook group!]

Here’s the rundown on the mot popular kinds of wine and what to drink them with.

Reds

Cabernet Sauvignon is produced mainly in France and California. This red is what’s called “full bodied,” meaning it’s got a rich, strong flavor of dark fruits like black current. The best Cabernets taste a bit earthy and dry and they tend to get better with age, so pick-up a bottle with the earliest date (as in, 2003 rather than 2008).

Pair with red meat, grilled vegetables, or pasta with red sauce.

Merlot is arguably the most popular red wine. Merlot can range from medium to full-bodied and is high in alcohol and low in acidity. Flavors include plum and chocolate (yum!). Grown all over the world, this wine is easy to enjoy.

Pair with pasta with red sauce, beef, or grilled or smoky meats.

Pinot Noir is made from a velvety grape that is one of the hardest to grow, which makes a good pinot great and a bad pinot terrible. A good pinot will be complex, with flavors ranging from black cherries to earthy spices. Pinot Noir grapes traditionally come from Burgundy, France, but are now being perfected in Oregon and California.

Pair with salmon, pasta, or pork.

Zinfandel is an up-and-coming wine. The fancier Pinot Noir and Cabernet Sauvignon wines often overshadow this red, but California growers have started to turn Zinfandel into their pet project. Flavors can range from light fruits to peppery fruits.

Pair with spicy or highly seasoned foods.

Whites

Chardonnay is one of the most popular whites and the grapes for this wine are grown all over the world. This wine is slightly dry with some acidity and can have flavors of figs, peaches, and/or honey.

Pair with seafood, grilled fish, chicken, or pork.

Pinot Blanc is a bit simpler than a Chardonnay, and a younger Pinot Blanc is better than an older one because they don’t respond too well to aging. This wine is dry with high acidity, and it offers a hint of apples and spice. The grapes for this wine grow well in the Alsace region of France and in California.

Pair with vegetable-based dishes roast chicken, fish, or pork.

Sauvignon Blanc is sharp, acidic, and light- to medium-bodied. This white wine can taste of grass and herbs (in a good way, promise!) or of grapefruit, and it can be drunk when it’s young or aged, both taste good. Look for a Sauvignon Blanc that comes from a warmer climate for a fruitier, melon flavor. This grape grows well in northeastern Italy, California, and New Zealand, but the best ones are from France’s Loire Valley and Bordeaux region.

Pair with chicken, fish, vegetarian cuisine, or Asian food.

When in doubt, don’t be shy about asking a clerk in a good supermarket (like Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods) or go into a specialty wine shop and ask for a suggestion. And check out wine.woot.com, each week they’ve got a new deal on wine. This week, it’s two bottles of Little Vineyards 2004 Cabernet Sauvignon for $45 (one bottle usually retails for $30).

Even if you traded in that hard-earned internship for a paid job delivering pizzas; even if you dropped out of school and stopped paying tuition; even if you sold a kidney, maybe two, on the black market in Thailand you still wouldn’t be able to afford a pair of $14,000 knee high alligator boots from Manolo Blahnik, or a $20,000 Hermes “Birkin” bag.

If you’re a dedicated follower of fashion like me, but poor as hell (like me), you need to know about these discount shopping websites: (In alphabetical order.)

amazon.com This site isn’t just for discounted books anymore. Amazon’s apparel and accessories department offers equally amazing deals on clothing, bags, and shoes from all the top labels. There are deals for every price range from over-the-knee patent boots from Jimmy Choo for $379 ($620 off the original price) to Seven7 skinny jeans for $18, a 70% mark down.

asos.com As Seen on Screen is a British company that specializes in trendy fashion items that are based on (or the same as) items worn by your favorite celebrities. They’ve got ASOS brand leather knee-high gladiators in the style of Ashley Olsen for £55 (about $102), a studded belt identical to the one Carrie wore in the “Sex and the City” movie for £15 (about $28), and an amazing selection of items from independent designers like a sheer chiffon floral top by To Love Kuvaa for £30 (about $56).

cutesygirl.com This site has some of the cheapest designer knock-offs you’ll find anywhere on the web. They’ve got a pair of Lindsay Lohan style liquid leggings for $20 and an adorable cropped houndstooth jacket for only $36.

fashionjunkee.com This is by far the best place to find imitation designer purses. If you’re thousands of miles from Canal Street (or if the idea of Canal Street makes you retch), you’ll love Fashion Junkee. Their “Inspired by Marc Jacobs” Stam bag is a ridiculously low $46, and their “Inspired by Balenciaga” motorcycle bag is only $58 and comes in twenty different colors.

forever21.com This is the store that definitely sucks away the biggest portion of my paycheck. See a plaid Dolce & Gabbana skirt on the fall runway you’re dying to have? Chances are they’ve got a similar item in their store for about a thousand dollars less. But the store can get crowded, and the music they play is annoying, so shopping online is a godsend. They add new merchandise everyday so visit often. Also, be sure to check out their higher end (as in, a few extra Hamiltons) label Twelve by Twelve and their accessories line For Love 21.

knowlabel.com This isn’t a designer label (Know Label, get it?), but if you don’t care what the tag says then this is an amazing website to find high quality clothing at low prices. My favorite items include a little black party dress with rosettes in the style of Philip Lim for $48, and a white silk pleated babydoll top with black ribbon trim that looks like it was taken off the back of Chloe Sevigny, also only $48.

newport-news.com This site is really all about the shoes. They’ve got dresses, bikinis, and lingerie, but these items tend to be for older women, mostly in their 30s. Skip over that stuff and go right to the footwear. They’ve got a pair of studded platform oxford booties currently on sale for $39 (was $49) that I’ve been dying to buy and classic t-strap pumps in a range of colors for only $29.

rustyzipper.com This is like a flea market you don’t have to wake up at 6 AM and drive to. They’ve got hundreds of vintage items for men and women all for around $30. Shoes, pants, dresses, all categorized by style (“Disco,” “Hippie,” etc.) and era (from the 1940s to today).

target.com I try to stay away from actual Target stores because I find that I walk in just trying to buy paper towels and come home with two bras, a pair of jeans, and a George Foreman Grill. I stick to target.com to keep myself from over-shopping and to make sure that what I walk in for is what I walk away with. In recent years they’ve also earned major style points with their Go International designer labels. Currently it’s Richard Chai’s turn, but my favorite was definitely Proenza Schouler’s line. I wear their bustier top all the time!

topshop.com Supposedly the British high street chain Topshop is coming to America, but until it makes it to your city, you’ll have to settle for browsing the runway worthy duds and Kate Moss designed separates online.

Has anyone got a favorite discount shopping site they’d like to add to this list? I’m always looking for new places to burn through my savings.

Sure, you’re excited to meet new people, take classes you chose out of your course catalog, and maybe even explore a new city. But there are things to worry about. A lot of them. Maybe it’s that you’re living away from home for the first time, or living across the country. There are more things you need to be prepared for than just athlete’s foot in the communal showers (plastic sandals will take care of that).

As someone who survived four years and two colleges and managed to graduate with all four of my limbs and at least a bit of dignity, I feel I should imbue on you, humble reader, ten important lessons and tips to help you enjoy college safely and happily, from picking classes to surviving alcohol poisoning.

1. Make orientation week count. I skipped a lot of the activities scheduled for orientation week and later came to regret it. I didn’t want to wake up at 9 AM to go on a tour of Boston, but what I didn’t realize is that a lot of people did wake up at 9 AM to go on a tour of Boston and, in doing so, met all those other people who got up at 9 AM to go on a tour of Boston. You’re not going to meet people if you hole up in your room, so go out as often as you can.

2. Taste-test classes. So you didn’t get into that History of Watching TV class you really wanted to take, go to the first class or two anyway. You’ll be amazed at how many people drop out of the class and a space for you may become available. The same goes for a class with a bad teacher. If sucky prof is teaching a general ed class you have to take, visit the same class taught by a different teacher. In my experience, a great teacher can make any class interesting and enjoyable.

3. Just because you can drink an entire keg doesn’t mean you should. I have too many friends who ended up in a hospital after a night of binge drinking to take alcohol poisoning lightly. If you drink a lot and start throwing up, your body is rejecting what is in it. There’s no other way around it. If this happens to you, you need to start downing water like you wouldn’t believe. All that liquid you’re throwing up is dehydrating you and you need to re-hydrate your body, so drink lots of good H2O, and eat some bread to help absorb some of the alcohol.

If you continue to throw up and it feels like you’re expunging your stomach lining, you need to go to the hospital. Don’t worry about getting into trouble. A scolding from your RA isn’t nearly as bad as, let’s say, DYING. For next time, it’s okay to get drunk; it’s okay to drink a lot, but slooooowwww down. You’ve got to find that perfect place where you’re drunk but you’re not dead. It takes practice but it’s worth drinking only one or two an hour to get there.

4. Friends don’t let friends get date raped. This is an even more horrible experience I’ve seen friends go through. The statistics around this are astounding. Something like one in ten women will be date raped, mostly while in college. But this doesn’t mean you’ve got to become a recluse in order to stay safe. First, buddy up. Don’t go to a party alone and always go with a friend who will make sure you stay safe. She should never be out of your sight for more than a few moments. Preferably, one of you will be sober sister, or at least semi-sober sister. Second, never, NEVER go upstairs, outside, in a car, or home with a guy you don’t intend on sleeping with. And even if you do intend on sleeping with him, tell your friend where you’re going and with who. If you don’t know his name, he shouldn’t be in your bed.

5. Just because it’s consensual doesn’t mean it’s safe. Use a condom. Every time. Without fail. Don’t let him convince you not to use a condom. If he says they’re too tight, buy Magnums (it’s a compliment!), if he says sex just doesn’t feel good with one tell him no sex doesn’t feel good either. The only time you should have sex without a condom is when you’re in a committed, monogamous relationship with someone you trust, when you’ve both been tested, and when you’re on birth control. Find your local Planned Parenthood. They can give you STD screenings and birth control, often for free.

6. Stay safe on campus and off. Many colleges have nighttime car services free of charge to students. Find out about yours as soon as you get to school. They will often pick you up within a certain range of campus and escort you home. It’s like a free taxi ride, so utilize it. Also, having the phone numbers for a few regular taxi companies in your cell will definitely come in handy when it’s three AM and all you want is your bed and a huge glass of water.

7. Keep your RA’s phone number in your cell. You never know when you’re going to get lost in China Town or need bailing out of jail. It’s a good number to have in case of an emergency.

8. Ruthlessly use your college’s free services. Now that I don’t have the luxury of a school gym, career, or counseling center, I’m regretting not using them as much. Your tuition is paying for these services, so use them.

9. The most important four-letter word of all time: TUMS. My friend’s carry a roll of Tums with them at all times. Whether it’s to cure you of cafeteria-induced food poisoning or to help settle your stomach after you’ve mixed tequila with beer in an attempt to create an inventive cocktail, tuck this miracle worker in your pocket next to your Chapstick.

10. If you do drugs, do them safely. Drugs are a reality of college. I could just tell you to say no and stay away from them, but that wouldn’t be very honest or helpful of me. If you do choose to do drugs, there is a way to do them safely. Don’t take drugs from someone you don’t know or don’t trust, don’t take drugs alone, and don’t mix drugs. If your friend takes drugs and you don’t, don’t ditch her just because you don’t approve. Be a good friend, stay with her, and have a conversation about why her drug use bothers you after she’s come down.

And most importantly, enjoy yourself. You’ve worked your ass off for the last eighteen years to get here. Have fun!

[Photo courtesy of sobersensor.com]

Maybe because you haven’t stopping partying for the past 3 days? It’s OK – it’s Welcome Week.

But it’s not OK, because even that Red Bull you chugged isn’t working. And you really wanna go out.

The solution? Music, duh.

Invite a few of your girl friends over to help ramp up your partying spirit: throw back a few cocktails, put on your party face, and listen to this awesome mix. If this doesn’t get you goin‘, get back into bed. You are dunzo for the week.

1-Burning Down The House-Talking Heads

Start off with a karaoke-worthy song that you can sing along to.

2-If You Steal My Sunshine-LEN

Forever one of the most upbeat songs of all time.

3-Last Night-The Strokes

A song you’ll want to bob your head to, but be careful if listening to it when putting on eyeliner.

4-Ready For The Floor-Hot Chip

A danceable song by a new British electropop band you’ll want to recommend to the DJ (a fantastic pick-up line!)

5-Fire It Up-Busta Rhymes

Bring in some 90’s tunes while you’re fixing your hair.

6-Hey Ya!-OutKast

A song you’ll never want to stop dancing to, no matter how many years old it is.

7-Paper Planes-M.I.A.

Take a shot for every gunshot sound effect. Just kidding! You’ll probably pass out before you get to the party, or the end of the song.

8-Electric Feel-MGMT

You’ll want to keep your ears tuned to this indie rock band from Brooklyn long after you’ve pre-gamed, gamed, post-gamed, and nursed your hangover.

9-I Believe In A Thing Called Love-The Darkness

There’s nothing better to put you in a good mood than laughing your ass off at your friends’ attempts to hit the high notes.

10-Fuck the Pain Away-Peaches

If you’re still living at home, you might want to turn down the volume on this raunchy tune. Otherwise, pump it up. This is a great song to end your pre-game time with. It goes on a little long, so shut it off whenever you’re ready to head out the door.

Don’t have all these songs? You can listen to the mix at mixwit.com (our newest obsession).

Cut to eight hours later: I’ve clocked about four hours of Internet browsing time and haven’t gotten any of my post for College Candy done. This is because I am an expert on using the web to waste copious amounts of time.

Here’s how I do it.

My top 5 websites for wasting time:

1. Wikipedia

I spent the summer after my junior year at Emerson working as a receptionist at a post-production office in Los Angeles. We rarely had guests and the phone only rang a few times a day, so aside from picking up people’s lunches I didn’t have much to do. Instead of doing what I should have done (using the time to write a novel or a screenplay or whatever) I decided to learn all human knowledge on Wikipedia.org. I would spend hours clicking on “Random article” again and again. I am now a master at Trivial Pursuit.

2. Facebook

This one is pretty obvious but I feel it deserves to be at the top of my list since I waste so much time on it everyday. I obsessively check Facebook. I’m not exactly sure why. I get just a handful of notices every day about new friends or events, and I don’t actually spend that much time reading other people’s profiles, but it’s the News Feed that sucks me in. I’m not sure what I’m waiting to read, but I find myself checking it again and again, just in case some crazy shit in the life of a friend went down.

3. I-Am-Bored.com

This is another website that got me through months of being a very bored intern. I-Am-Bored.com has funny videos, photos, some news, but what gets me are the quizzes. Hundred and hundreds of quizzes. There’s everything from a state capitol quiz to quizzes based on real psychological profiles to see if and what mental disorder you have (I am mildly OCD with just a dash of schizophrenic).

4. The Sartorialist, Face Hunter, etc.

It’s amazing how many hours can go by while you’re scanning through pictures of drunk people or chic French people or chic drunk French people. Websites like lastnightsparty.com have buckets of new photos everyday of hipsters partying in New York and LA, and websites like facehunter.blogspot.com and thesartorialist.blogspot.com are loaded with photos of fashionable folk (both famous and non-famous) from all across the land (mainly Europe) to make you wish you could pull off a parka paired with knee socks or party with Agyness Deyn.

5. MyHeritage.com

Upload a photo of your face and some nifty face recognition software at myheritage.com will spit out what celebrities you look like. I am quite similar to Amanda Peet, Rachel Bilson, and Stanislav Lanevski, some Hungarian actor from “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.” Do it for yourself, then do it to all your ex-boyfriends (thank god for all those photo albums on Facebook!).

Got any other procrastination recommendations?

It means, as a woman of the new millennium, you’re likely to date a guy who is (not to sound too demeaning) a few rungs below you on the ladder to lifelong success. As someone who has dated her fair share of men who lack any aspirations (my disapproving dad calls them slackers), I know a thing or two about these types of boys. I’ve learned many lessons, which I will now share with you if you’re at all interested in pursuing, or continuing, a relationship with one of these self-declared duds.

Let’s begin with the upside. Guys who aren’t busting their balls at work in order to get a better job or a higher wage are more likely to be attentive and available to you. (More time for massages? Count me in!) They tend to be calmer, more easy going, and, most likely, able to hang out more often.

Unfortunately, that’s about it in terms of the pro’s. So, let’s look at the downside and, more importantly, how to deal with it.

The first question you have to ask yourself is: why is he not interested in a forward moving career? He might be satisfied with the job he’s got. If it makes him happy and he earns a salary where you won’t be supporting him financially, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. However, if he’s not moving ahead in life because he’s lazy, this could be a terrible thing. Especially if you’re more of a go-getter. Guys can’t be fixed, it’s important to remember this if you’re a fixer like I am. No amount of pushing and prodding will motivate a guy; instead he’ll just get annoyed and you’ll just get frustrated.

One type of boy who you might assume is a slacker but might not be, is the college dropout. Keep in mind that just because a guy dropped out of college doesn’t mean he’s not motivated or a hard worker. I’ve actually met a few very successful guys who were dropouts. Many just didn’t find higher education satisfying, and instead pursued a different path, be it a career in writing, the arts, or even the restaurant biz (one guy I met was a pastry chef!).

All in all a relationship with a non-motivated boyfriend or a college dropout boyfriend is only a problem if it’s a problem for you. A little convoluted, I know, but it makes sense. If a guy who strives to be manager, CEO, or the next president of the United States is your type, then why bother with a guy who’s satisfied being an assistant? But if you’re in love and a dude who treats you well, makes you laugh, and makes your toes do that weird stretchy thing, then why throw it all away for someone else’s idea of success?

[Photo courtesy of flickr]

There have been several occasions this year where I have had to have this conversation. What troubles me the most is that I can’t seem to avoid it. I’m a huge flirt, especially when I’ve had too many whiskey sours, so I can understand why some guys might get the wrong idea and think I’m interested in more than just a shoulder to rest my head on when the room starts to get spinny. But even with guys I don’t get super flirty with, I still have to have the conversation. It’s always approached one of two ways:

The first is a situation in which I have heavily flirted with, or mildly hooked-up with, a guy friend and I have to explain to him that this doesn’t mean we’re meant to settle down, get married, and procreate. The second situation, and the more annoying one because it’s unavoidable is the, “How come we never hooked up?” conversation.

I’d like to clarify my position on this friendship/friends with benefits/relationship conundrum once and for all. Guys, listen up.

First things first –– we never hooked up because I never wanted to. You’re not my type. Get over it.

Second, “The Ladder” theory is absolute bullsh*t. I’ve had many guy friends point me toward this folk psychology explanation of how men and women rank potential friends and lovers. It’s bull. According to the theory, guys place women hierarchically on a ladder ranking them potential lover or potential friend, judging their sexual desirability first, as in, “She’s hot, but not Jessica Alba hot, I give her a 7.”

Women, reversely, place men they meet on one of two ladders: a “Potential” ladder, for those they might sleep with, and a “Never” ladder, for those they just want to be friends with. I can tell you definitively right now that girls do not think this way. When we meet a guy we don’t immediately categorize him as a potential anything. And when girls say, “I just think of you as a friend,” what we’re really saying is, “I don’t find you attractive.” We’re just trying to spare your feelings.

There, I said it.

When I flirt with you, it’s because I enjoy flirting, not because I’m in love with you. When I hook-up with you, it’s because I want to hook-up with you, not because I’m in love with you and want to have your babies. It’s really that easy.

What it takes to get me to commit to a relationship is a lot more complicated now than it was when I was in school. Back then if I met a guy whom I was attracted to and who had at least one or two good personality traits (could make me laugh, was smart, wrote pretty poetry) that was enough to make me want to label him my “boyfriend.” Not so much anymore. A bad relationship can be a great learning experience. I’ve had several bad relationships. I’ve learnt enough. So when I say that I just want to be friends, it’s because I think we’d have a “learn something” relationship. I’m an adult now, I don’t have time to learn things, I’m just trying to pay my rent.

That being said, just because I want to be friends right now doesn’t mean I won’t change my mind later. I had the unfortunate experience this year of realizing that I had feelings for a guy friend way too late in our relationship. I had my window to turn our friends-with-benefits situation into a relationship, I decided that I wasn’t into him in a boyfriend way, and I passed on the opportunity. Months later, I realized I was in love with him and it was way too late. Needless to say, we’re not friends anymore. I got my heart broken and I broke it all by myself.

“I don’t think of you in that way” is, more often than not, a lie. That’s like a guy denying he’s though about having sex with his female friends. Of course he has. He probably thinks about it all the time. I’ve considered different dating possibilities among my friends, even when we’ve been friends for a while, and, yeah, I’ve thought about what my guy friends would be like in bed. (Guys, you’re not the only ones with dirty minds!)

So, guys, here’s the deal, the next time I say to you, “I don’t think of you in that way,” I mean one of two things:

A. I’m not physically attracted to you. But I’d still love it if we could hang out.

B. I care about you deeply as a friend and I’m too mature to f*ck that up by trying to date you for a couple of weeks and then have it not work out. But you might want to check back in a few months because maybe I’ll change my mind.

It’s up to you to figure out if you’re a group A guy or group B guy.

Where to look – I’ve always found Craigslist to be the most valuable tool when apartment hunting. It’s important to check the site everyday, sometimes even multiple times a day, when you’re in the market for a place to live because the good ones get snatched up. Fast.

What to look for in a housing ad – First of all, do you want to live alone or with roommates? On Craigslist you can search for both, and there are other sites, like roommates.com, that are good. Also, trusty ol’ Facebook can be your friend (no pun intended). The second most important thing is price. Come up with a range, from the lowest you’re willing to spend (to weed out any sketchy ads for apartments with outdoor toilets, etc) and the maximum you can spend. This will keep you from looking longingly at pictures of apartments way out of your income level. And finally, look out for catch phrases: cozy = small, bachelor = no kitchen, 420 friendly = you’ll walk into a haze of pot smoke every time you come home.

What to look for when you’re viewing an apartment (a checklist):

1. Safety – Is the building secure? Are their bolts on the door? What floor is the apartment on? (First floor apartments are generally not a good idea unless the neighborhood is absolutely crime-free.) Are there people walking about or are the streets empty? It might be worth it to check out the neighborhood at night to see if you’ll feel comfortable there once the sun has set.

2. Neighborhood – So the neighborhood is safe, but does that mean it’s a cool place to be? Think of how important it is to you to be able to walk to shops, restaurants, the grocery store, etc. Also, how close is it to public transportation? Is a parking space included? How difficult is it to find street parking?

3. The apartment – Do you feel comfortable? Does it grab you? So much depends on gut instinct, listen to it. Walk around the space, take a few minutes to get acquainted with it, don’t let yourself feel rushed. Can you imagine where your bed would go?

4. Necessities – Is their air conditioning? Heating? Is there plenty of light? Do the windows open? Are there screens on the windows? Is there an adequate amount of storage, closet, counter, cabinet space? Is there laundry in the building? How much does it cost? What are the neighbors like?

5. Amenities – Pools, doormen, and gyms are all nice extras but really shouldn’t be a deal breaker. A dishwasher can also be nice, but it’s not worth renting a crappy apartment just so you don’t have to scrub your dirty plates by hand.

6. Final questions – Are utilities included? Is Internet and cable already hooked-up? Does parking cost extra? Is their an on site super or maintenance dude? What’s due at move-in? First and last month’s rent and a security deposit is typical. Is subletting allowed (in case you want to rent it out to someone else for the summer)? And last, but often most importantly, can you paint the walls?

I hope this helps! Good luck! And let me know if you find a great place using my advice.