•Bieber’s Paternity case is dismissed
•How to get laid on Thanksgiving
•What to wear to your next college party
•Playing up your best feature, a la our favorite ladies
•Travel a little cheaper this holiday season
•Meet the men from Pippa’s life

Our generation has been taught over and over again that we can do anything and everything we want as long as we try, but is that really true? Is it possible to balance stellar grades, awesome friends, your fave hobbies, a significant other, and a healthy bod with only 24 hours in a day?

Thanks to the genius and generous marketers at Mars Chocolate, we’ll all be jumping for joy real soon. The “Real Chocolate Relief Act” is here.

Even if you’re still finishing up finals, there’s no harm in daydreaming about the 4 fabulous months to come. So put down that Econ 101 textbook, grab a towel, and layer on the sunscreen. Summer’s almost here, and it’s time to celebrate! To help pump you up, we’ve put together a list of the 35 greatest things about summer. Here are our top picks:

Sex is a powerful tool. It can bring pleasure (lots and lots of pleasure), create babies, cause heartache, and even end wars? No effing way.

Graduation may be an exciting milestone, but the ceremony itself is far from memorable for most people. Not only is sitting in a cap and gown for three straight hours uncomfortable (especially when it’s hot and that itchy rayon is rubbing against your neck), but the speeches are boring… and they go on forever. Oh, and leaving college is incredibly depressing.

If you’re graduating this spring and you’ve managed to score a job you’re probably thanking god (if you still believe there is one) and thinking you’re super lucky. But think again. Because according to the WSJ, those currently entering the labor market won’t only be suffering from low-salary syndrome this year, but for, uh, ten more to come. Yes, ten years—or more!

When I saw the Star Trek preview several months ago, the first (and last) thing I thought to myself was, “Oh. No.” I sighed, irritated that Star Trek was back—hadn’t it ended years ago, and for a reason? I looked to my friends longingly for reassurance that this was a sad joke and certainly not something anyone would be paying $12.50 for. And I realized that I was alone in my sci-fi disgust.

You goin’ out tonight? Gonna hit the town and celebrate that final final? You gonna get so drunk that the only thing on your mind at the end of the night is gooey, cheesy and totally bad for you?
Me too! But before you make poor decisions involving you and the delivery places you clearly have on speed dial, read on.

When shopping, I often find my wallet trying to convince my mind that the skirt, the moisturizer, or the heels in front of me are worth the outrageous price tag. But after I make the costly purchase, I wonder—was it worth it? To help answer this question, I’ve compiled a list of things that I feel are, and aren’t, worth the splurge during our sad and painful recession.