I’m a girl who knows what I deserve. I don’t settle. I’m a big believer in not purchasing knockoffs.

Reason one: I can hold out for the real deal.
Reason two: I don’t want to give the fake too much credit.

It’s the same thing with a guy.  Forgive me for the metaphor (fake bag = douche bag), but there are some dead giveaways that the guy who is about to approach you is a Frada. If that’s the case, you acknowledge (or not), smile, and politely get your ass out of Chinatown. Without divulging your digits.

Here are a few tells to prevent you from falling for that faux Ferragamo.  

1. Hits on your friend/roomie/stranger, get rejected, and then hits on you.
2. Insults your clothing, weight, physical attributes. This is not second grade! If someone likes you they don’t need to hurt your feelings to let you know.
3. Introduces himself by anything other than his name. I.E. Mr. Lover-Lover, Your new boyfriend, Pimp Daddy
4. Licks his lips while listening to the words you’re saying.
5. Disses his ex-girlfriend within the first ten seconds of meeting you.
6. Thinks he’s God’s greatest gift to you and believes you owe him something because he spoke to you.
7. Calls you be anything other than your first name before being introduced to you.
8. Ogles other girls while chatting you up.
9. Looks at anything other than your eyes, face, back of your head as you walk away.
10. Insults and generalizesall womankind. I.E. You women are too high strung.
11. Compliments a facial feature in reference to a sexual act. (Think lips.)
12. Looks like a slob…with his boxers/briefs/crack exposed.
13. Calls you by the wrong name. Even if he just met you, he should get your name right. Note: if he calls you “baby,” “sweetheart,” or any other term of affection, it doesn’t mean he likes you. It means he can’t remember your name.
14. He’s drinking a glass of white wine. At the club.
15. He reminds you of one of these guys.

And with all the amazingness that summer TV has to offer, kicking back with a Diet Coke and some Smart Pop (and probably some aloe to rub on that “I’m having so much fun I forgot to put on sunscreen” burn) will be just as good as a day at the wave pool. Actually, considering the amount of chilren that pee in that place, this is a whole lot better.

Secret Life of the American Teenager
June 22

The Secret Life is back, baby!! When the season ended, Amy delivered baby John, Ashley moved in with her dad, Grace + Jack = 4-ever, and Adrian ended up alone.  Season Two brings more baby mama drama for Amy, and SOMEONE WILL DIE! (Duh duh duuuuuh.)

Army Wives
In Progress

Think being a soldier in the army is hard? It is. But the Army Wives have their own troubles: falling out of love with their husbands stationed in Iraq, starting a career, kissing a doctor (boss), getting a motorcycle, sending their sons off to war, having an affair… it’s a rough time!! And that was only one army wife.  This circle of women is tough! They fight off stalkers, tend to husbands with PTSD, deal with the death of family members, and battle the vicious tongues of the other prying wives. This show is incredibly moving and drama-rific; perfect for a summer night.

Nurse Jackie
In Progress

Oh yeahhh! Edie Falco is back on the tube. Unfortunately, she is no longer Carmela Soprano.  Instead she plays Jackie O’Hurley, an emergency room nurse in New York City.  Jackie is brilliant, sarcastic and witty, but super flawed and abuses meds to get through the days.  I smell drama.

(PS. For those looking for a Twilight fix, Peter Facinelli plays a doctor on the show! Hotness.)

Entourage
July 12

Maybe you’ve got a Soft spot for E, a secret crush on Turtle, hots for Drama, totally wanna eff Vince. Or maybe you love ‘em all. (Sigh.) Either way, they are comin’ back in a big way and bringing some hot friends along with em. In Entourage’s sixth season, expect cameos by teen heartthrob Zac Efron, Kate Mara (E’s new secretary) and more.  Let’s just hope things turn up for Vince… and he doesn’t lose (CollegeCandy’s fave) Ari to the other side of Hollywood.

NYC Prep
June 23

Gossip Girl’s season just ended but never fear – there is a replacement. Albeit, a watered down replacement sans the Blair-Chuck drama and soothing voice of an anonymous tell-all. NYC Prep is a reality show (yes, another one) that stalks the “elite teens” of New York City and gives us glimpses of their (totally absurd, puke-in-your-mouth) drama.  Yes, it’s embarrassing to be excited for this, but we won’t tell if you won’t.

Jon and Kate plus Eight
In Progress

Jon and Kate are taking care of their eight kids and struggling with their marriage. With the tabloids showcasing Jon’s alleged affair with a 23-year-old,  his family speaking out against the supposed child exploitation, and  the humane society is after Jon for animal abuse – this show just got higher on my radar.

True Blood
June 14

If you didn’t watch this show last season, you better start. Just be prepared for some serious vampire sexy time (this is most definitely not Twilight).  True Blood promises a lot more nudity and violence this season and yes, just as much romance.  Rumor has it that Evan Rachel Wood (known for Across the Universe, Marilyn Manson’s ex-gf, Thirteen) will be in Season 2 as a powerful, vampire Queen.

America’s Got Talent
June 23

Most of the people on this show amaze me.  Most.

Project Runway
August 20

Project Runway is finally back and even if it’s now on Lifetime, it’s still gonna be good.  It’s been far too long since we’ve had our Tim Gunn/Heidi Klum/Michael Kors fix, so we’re trying to make it work as we count down the days to the premiere.

10 Things I hate about you
July 7

Should there even be a television series based on a classic movie? Will it survive one season? Why oh why are all the Nickelodeon and Disney tween idols acting in it? I can’t answer any of these questions, but I will most definitely be watching.

A while back, the editor of this very site put out a query: “Give me a Top 10 list of your favorite High School Movies.” I told her I wanted in – after all, who doesn’t love to indulge in a little HS drama? So I sat down and started listing. Only I discovered that including just 10 was more impossible than winning 8 medals in one Olympic games. And I am no Michael Phelps.

So, I listed 10. The first list of what would soon become many. After posting, many of you seemed quite angry with my decisions. Your comments were full of ALL CAPS and lots of exclamation points!!!! You were upset that I had left some classics off the list. Perhaps you didn’t notice the “Part 1″ in the title, or perhaps you just needed everyone to know of your love of The Breakfast Club.

Not that it mattered; I was clearly coming back for round 2. So here it is – another 10 gloriously angsty high school flicks. Get that Smart Pop ready, ladies; these high school dramas are gonna rock your lockers!

11. She’s the Man
In a take on Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night, Amanda Bynes is Viola Hastings. In the many twists and turns of the movie, she enters her twin brother’s private school, tries to make the soccer team to beat her school’s team and make her sexist ex cry, get rid of her brother’s obnoxious girlfriend, fall for her… er… her brother’s roommate, and much more. Whew! Amanda is such a power girl in this movie. It’s nothing like my high school experience (I never did the drag thing), but totally entertaining all the same.

12. 10 Things I Hate About You
Are you kidding? Seriously? This movie is on the top of every list. Another Shakespeare twist done right.
Kat rocks!! The tough, sensitive chick lands the hot, caring, bad boy; the college of her dreams; and the Fender Strat! I want to scream in pure bliss. You can laugh at me, but I know you’re squealing on the inside. 10 Things I Hate About You is just too good to be true. (See what I did there? Get it? No?)

13. Jawbreaker
High school, like life, is a hierarchy. Some are at the top of the list, some at the bottom of the barrel. So it makes sense that Fern Mayo wanted to be like Liz Purr. It’s completely tweaked that Liz’s BFFLs accidentally killed her, made her death look like a sick sexual perversion, and turned poor Fern Mayo into Vylette, the newest member of the clique. Be careful what you wish for.

14. The New Guy
Umm. Eliza Dushku’s wardrobe montage was kinda whack, but if I could snap my neck like Dizzy and make people scared I’d totes do it! It’s the ultimate makeover; why go from Geek to Chic, when you can go from Geek to The New Guy??

15. Say Anything…
Dear John Cusack,
I’m gonna keep on loving you, ’cause it’s the only thing I wanna do.
Love Always,
Donnette
Here’s the deal: when someone asks what’s the greatest thing you ever did for love what will you say? Lloyd Dobler can say anything (almost). The infamous boom box scene where Lloyd stands outside Diane Court’s window and plays In Your Eyes is a top rated classic, but who can forget the date where he’s shivering because he’s happy. And yes, Diane was so deeply touched by his vulnerability that she “spent the night with him” and told her dad about too. If you’ve forgotten, go watch this movie again! Now!

16. Can’t Hardly Wait
I’m LOLing just thinking about this! Typical-guy-misfit-is-enamored-with-teen-queen-and-waits-until-graduation-to-tell-her-after-her-jock-boyfriend-dumps-her-then-she-finds-herself-and-gets-letter-from-misfit-and-tries-to-find-him-but-he-finds-her-and-she-thinks-he’s-a-drunk-creep-and-people-get-abducted-by-aliens-and-Seth-Green-loses-virginity. Whew! Like I said typical. Ethan Embry paves the way for Seth Cohen, Rusty Cartwright, and Paulie Bleeker. Yum.

17. Strike! (Aka Strike! Aka The Hairy Bird)
On one hand, this movie has way too many names. On the other, it’s a Kirsten Dunst flick. Love her or hate her, the girl’s good. At an all-girl prep school in the early 1960s, the girls are flung to the trough of puberty. Ha. So here’s want goes down: Kirsten Dunst and her clique hold meetings and eat stolen ravioli, they have ISSUES: they discuss boys, school, family, the girls who hate them and all of their seemingly massive pubescent drama. I’m already reminiscing…

Anyway, the school decides to go co-ed and Verena (Dunst) became a one-girl revolution. The girls decide to play some games and do some damage when the boys come to visit. This involves bra-stuffing, drink spiking, sex having, cat fighting – your basic no-holds barred war. And don’t you think for a moment that it ends there. The best is yet to come.

18. Carrie
This movie is the reason why I was nice to everyone in high school. Seriously. Okay no not seriously, but it definitely made me fear anyone with that name. Regardless, it’s a fun one to watch (with people that, you know, like you).

19. The Breakfast Club
GREATEST MOVIE EVER!!! Great cast, great costumes, great plot, great, great, great! Since I have no words I’ll let Brian’s (Anthony Michael Hall) letter speak for me.

Dear Mr. Vernon: We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. What we did was wrong, but we think you’re crazy to make us write an essay, telling you who we think we are. What do you care? You see us as you want to see us, in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. You see us as: a brain, an athlete, a basket case, princess, and a criminal. Correct? That’s the way we saw each other at 7 o’clock this morning. We were brainwashed.

I am forever devoted to The Brat Pack.

20. Mean Girls

In junior high and high school, I’m sure you’ve encountered these *insert derogatory word here*, but they’ve got nothing on Regina George. She’s sweet and sour, impeccably dressed, and knows how to rock the school. Until Lindsay Lohan comes along. Tina Fey totally hit the mark with this movie and it will forever be a classic. It’s just so…fetch!

Don’t lie to me. We all do it.

We curl up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, a Diet Coke and soak up every minute of teenage nostalgia, especially the angst-y, heartbreak-y, hormone-driven parts that come with the High School Movie. We may be out of high school, but that doesn’t mean we’re over it. Our very fascination with those 4 years and the events that might have changed our lives is secretly compelling to us. So we watch. And we love it.

And that’s OK. There is nothing wrong with enjoying a little high school drama (and an occasional choreographed dance) again. There is so much to be learned from those flicks and so much happiness to be gleaned from the fact that we are no longer living them.

Just to let you know that indulging in high school drama is a healthy and well-adjusted way to waste your free time, I created a list of the best/awesomely funny/most ridiculous high school movies you will ever see.

1. Get Over It

Because breaking up is never funny (all the time) but getting over it is. High School Basketball star Burke Landers (Ben Foster) gets chucked by his girlfriend, who then takes up with the cocky, arrogant, “Mary Poppins sounding” Striker (Shane West). Burke ends up stalking them into the school play A Midsummer Night’s Dream, landing a lead role (after a series of unfortunate events) and develops a closer relationship with his best friends’ sister (Kirsten Dunst). If the way Burke attempts to get over the girl doesn’t get you, his “hip and understanding” parents will make you cringe and the boy band-esque song Ben Foster and Shane West perform will make you wet your pants… or vomit in your mouth.

Oh, I almost forgot: Sisqo of “Thong Song” fame has a supporting role.

2. Drive Me Crazy

They’re next door neighbors, former BFFs before high school. She’s preppy (Melissa Joan Hart). He’s alternative (Adrien Grenier). She wants to get a date for prom. He wants his girlfriend back. Quid Pro Quo. They fall for each other under watch of the scheming socialistas of high school. Nothing says true love like scheming for a prom date. Pre-Entourage Adrien Grenier is still oh so pretty. Yes, pretty.

Btw, they use similar SAT words that the supposed 15 year olds of Dawson’s Creek encouraged. Love it.

3. Some Kind of Wonderful

Classic. Mary Stuart Masterson is Watts. Her BFF is Keith (played by Eric Stoltz) is in love with the popular girl (what else is new). Watts, out of the kindness of her heart, helps him and realizes she’s falling for him. Why watch? Because Mary Stuart Masterson is amazing. She’s the tomboy you want to be.

John Hughes, writer/director/producer of Brat Pack film fame, gives this movie Pretty in Pink ‘s original ending. Is that a teardrop I see?

4. Dead Poets’ Society

You know how comedic actors try serious roles and are super successful and under rated? (Will Ferrell in Stranger Than Fiction, Jim Carrey in The Majestic and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) This is Robin Williams’ moment. John Keating is the teacher above all teachers. Walt Whitman never made me cry harder than when Ethan Hawke saluted his teacher with O Captain, my Captain. Aw man, here I am getting misty eyed again.

This movie captures the awakening of adulthood within teenagers. It explores sex, suicide, love, and passion. It encourages Thoreau’s view that “the universe is wider than our views of it.”

This movie gets you.

5. Footloose

Ren (Kevin Bacon) moves to a town that banned public dancing and music. Think about how that would affect your life. Especially with a soundtrack this danceable!! You’ll sing along to “Let’s Hear It for the Boy” when he teaches his best friend Willard to dance. There’s also a lesson to learn about teenage relationships and abuse. (Dear Rihanna, I thought of you and CB.)

6. The Virgin Suicides

Kirsten Dunst has a knack for choosing fantastic roles. In this movie she is Lux Lisbon, the oldest in a family of five girls. The sisters suffer under their overprotective parents after the youngest sister commits suicide. The Lisbon girls are placed under house arrest and home schooled by their parents after Lux returns home the morning after a dance, their records are taken away and it seems like there’s nothing to live for. The story is told by the boys who lived next door and were fascinated by the girls. It’s a beautiful story. A bit bland but still heart wrenching. I guess the ending won’t be much of a surprise.

7. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

If you don’t know, get familiar. Enough said.

8. Angus

Tagline: For everyone on the outside looking in…your moment has arrived! I saw this movie when I was 14 and I have always remembered it. Before James Van Der Beek found the Creek, he was a bully with a seriously tweaked sense of humor who tormented Angus. Angus is ostracized and humiliated by his peers because of his obesity. In addition, the girl of his dreams is the girlfriend of the bully of his nightmares. Armed with no confidence and fading hope, Angus tries to be invisible until he can leave the school.

9. Heathers

The Original Mean Girls!! They’ve got sex appeal and intimidation down. The Heathers could eat Regina George alive! Though Veronica is the one that should be feared. She killed them all. There are two lessons to learn from this movie:

1. Mean people suck!
2. Popularity leads to murder?

Still working on that last one.

10. Election

You are not an overachiever if you’re not Tracy Flick. She slept with, then blackmailed her teacher to win an election. I bet you’ve only made straight A’s. BO-RING!

There you have it. The best of the best high school movies.
Order from Netflix, visit Blockbuster, or buy online. Just watch em!

Allow me to refine this status: Americanization is not to be confused with Westernization, nor is it a put-down.

International Students take up a demographic in most US colleges and universities. They are usually easily spotted on campus. No, not because that of clothing choices or accents, but because they maintain a certain wide eyed fascination and solemn intelligence. International students seem refined and sophisticated. Hard working and goal oriented. They worked hard to get to this prestigious American university and they keep that in mind as they work even harder to graduate.

Most International Students stick together, seeking the comfort of the familiar. They tend to sit back in class and take notes as the more abrasive and comfortable students take over answering the questions, debating the topics and joking with classmates. As soon as class ends, they head to the library or the comforts of their dorm room to get started on the reading assigned. They never join the rest of campus at the weekend parties.

But then something starts to change. As the semester rolls on and these students find themselves more at ease in their new environment, they begin to engage in common American customs. They become The Americanized International.

The Americanized International has parted ways with his/her frequent dialect for slang, exchanging pleasant “hellos” for degraded “what ups.” Their freshly acquired iPods are now filled with the rhymes of Lil Wayne and the Billboard Top 100. Whereas studying used to take up most of their time, it has now been reduced due to their newfound love of Thirsty Thursdays and football pre-games.

Their love of food from “back home” (Moussaka, Wat, Masala) has been trumped by a new addiction to late night Mickey D’s or the Midnight Special at the campus pizza place.

The Americanized International has become fascinated by the media and pop culture and may know more than you about current events in Celebrityland. TMZ and Perez Hilton have become a fixture in their life.

Before you know it, the refreshing style of the International Student is been overcome by Uggs (no offense, Aussies), Crocs, North Face jackets and other over-rated trends. Their hair gets a little shorter/gel-ier/lighter, their jeans more expensive.

They begin drifting from their International friends who don’t embrace the new culture and immersing themselves more and more into their new world. They don’t deny their culture completely, but don’t embrace it readily. They are Americans now and do everything in their power to fit in.  Pretty soon you can’t tell where the Americanized International came from.

Once upon a time, at college orientation, you met someone who spent her weekend running around meeting everyone. Even the orientation leaders, academic advisors…and cafeteria workers. This person was friendly, funny, flirty. Then classes began, parties were under way and, whoa mama, it was…girl gone wild (annoying)!

Allow me to introduce you to the Unhinged Coed.

The Unhinged Coed is an attention hog (minus the “g”) to the umpteenth power. She will do just about anything for someone to take a quick look or give her a quick dose of attention.

While she comes off friendly and fun at first, the Unhinged is quickly reduced to nothing more than the nuisance you turn to when you need something. Eager to please (and for people to know she’s helpful), she is always there with a book someone needs to borrow, notes when someone misses class, and a pair of lips when someone is drunk and looking for booty.

In her quest to be everyone’s friend, she ends up with a small group – usually like-minded attention seeking-wannabes themselves – who stick around her to gain “access” to the people she claims to be close with. Only she isn’t, because her quest to be known by all leaves her annoyed by most.

The Unhinged has an impressive major, something like International Politics or Romance Languages (and speaks the same amount of Spanish as the Taco Bell Chihuahua), and makes sure everyone knows about it.  Although, attending class and passing is not high on her priority list.

What is on that list?

1. Doing the “college” thing (or everything stereotypical about college).

2. Hooking up and gossiping about it.

3. Gossiping about other people.

4. Attending parties to look cool. Then talking about them.

All of the above is done with one goal in mind: to make a name on campus.

And she succeeds. Only instead of being popular and adored everywhere she goes, the Unhinged Coed becomes known only as that. A crazy attention-seeker.

Underneath it all, this is just a sorely misguided soul who gets too caught up in what she should be and suffocates her good personality. Sadly, she will never be what she is trying to hard to be, but rather an acquaintance to many, an unmentioned hook-up, and the reference to a “what not to do/ how not to be” story. There is no happily ever after for the Unhinged Coed. Just 4 years of trying too hard in a place where popularity doesn’t matter and being real does.

When walking around campus, you see her. She’s rocking the casual look like it’s nobody’s business. And she’s doing it well. Her bootcut jeans are accompanied by a perfectly worn-in t-shirt layered under a zip up hoodie. She’s wearing black Converse or a pair of well-worn sneakers, the laces tight enough to keep them on, but loose enough to allow her to slip in and out of them easily. Her haircut is low maintenance, but totally chic.  She’s rocking plastic rimmed glasses, no contacts; a watch, no jewelry.

You don’t know her, but you want to.

This is one co-ed who has got it together. She is the kind of girl who is naturally pretty, has a killer body and is completely oblivious to it. She is friendly, kind, and her easygoing, low maintenance attitude makes it easy to get along with her. Even her professors are drawn to her, always chatting with her before class and helping her after.

She has a large circle of friends, filled with a variety of different types of people. Girls love her, guys love her, nerds love her, athletes love her. And though you don’t know her, you kind of want to love her too.

She is funny without being raunchy, boyish but not butch. She prefers drinking beers in a pub to shakin’ her thang at the club.  She’s comfortable at a Death Cab for Cutie concert, but has no problem listening to The Beach Boys or the Avenue Q soundtrack.

She rocks her GPA, has a hot (yet totally down to earth and awesome) boyfriend, and seems to excel at just about everything she puts her mind to…without getting frazzled.

In short, this girl just exudes cool. And as she walks by, you aren’t sure which you want more: to know her or to be her.

[Photo courtesy of Wild Rose on Flickr]

You supply me with groceries at a price befitting my lowly college student income and budget. I even purchased some very attractive dorm décor from you. Yet your clothing has not reduced my money pile. Why, you ask?

Because, Tar-jay, you have not seduced me with quality fashion. I enjoy quality fabrics that last longer than three wears.

Don’t get me wrong – I am not a clothing snob, but I do read Vogue. I know style, trends, and fads. I adore shopping.

I want to be introduced, coaxed, and pleased by my clothing. When I buy something I want to feel the way I feel when I watch Fashion Week (on TV) and wish I could own the entire line. When Target had a turn-over and decided to introduce designers like Isaac Mizrahi, I smiled. Then I saw the clothing. My smile transformed to a grimace. I thought, “Yeah… wearing that does not enhance my style or age and it certainly does not resemble runway wear.”

Then, lo and behold, a new idea was born. The GO International line arrived. I was impressed. Go Target!! You actually got international designers to produce appealing clothing! Yay! There was Tara Jarmon, Proenza Schouler, and even Thakoon. Then I saw the clothing up close. It was fine. Just…fine. That’s all. Some designers included asymmetrical lines, and busy prints. The clothing was completely wearable, but where was my fashion-gasm?? Where was the moment my head started spinning? Where were thoughts of the right shoes and accessories? It did not happen. And, besides, they still needed better quality fabric.

I badmouthed Tar-jay. I said H&M did it better. I gave up hope. I decided that the only thing I could get from Tar-jay was groceries, dorm décor, appliances, and socks. Maybe a cardigan every now and then, but since Patrick Robinson took over design for Gap, I have been moseying over there.

After I decided to share my views of the “bad Tar-jay clothing” to friends and acquaintances, I heard news of Alexander McQueen’s line for Target. I wanted to kick myself in the face with a 4-inch heel. Ouch. I know. Who wouldn’t want to reply to “That’s a great shirt!” by saying “Thanks, [pause] it’s Alexander McQueen.” Alexander McQueen, the bad boy of fashion, and winner of three British designer of the year awards would look sooo good in my closet.

Okay, so I’m being a bit of a fashion snob, but for good reason. The preview of his line makes me ashamed for being so judgmental toward Tar-jay. In fact, as a fashionista, I’m pretty proud of them. Target has actually brought on of fashion’s biggest designers to the masses, without losing the little touches that make him such a success.

I just jumped on the Target bandwagon. I don’t even have to French-ify the name anymore! Alexander McQueen just boosted Target’s popularity. (Kinda like what Britney did for K. Fed or what Mariah is doing for Nick Cannon.) Next step, receive paycheck and submerge myself in fashion-gasm.

The line is in stores sometime this month, so look out!

With the Go Green revolution, a lot of us have been making the effort to protect and preserve our environment: trees, animals, reservations. Hemp jewelry is so in right now and vintage is your new passion, right?

Well, guess who’s more passionate than you are? The Neo-hippie, better known as The Empathetic Activist.

The Empathetic Activist feels the pain of the distressed, whether it is animal, mineral or vegetable. When a mouse-trap is set up in the dorms, he or she will be there to protect the rights of our furry friends. When soda cans are thrown in the cafeteria trash, he or she will be there to lecture their peers on the perils of cans in dumps around the world. When a tree is cut down to expand your campus, he or she is there screaming murder through blurred vision…or at least collecting signatures to stop the madness.

The Empathetic Activist cares, but not about material objects. While we’re all spending what little money we have on a spring break wardrobe, the E.A. is perusing the local consignment/ thrift/ vintage shops while munching on some tofu, as he or she is also most likely vegan/vegetarian. (“Animals have rights too!”) And when your favorite neo-hippie is not purchasing vegan Birkenstocks, you will find him or her working for social consciousness, whether it be through debates and discussions with friends or long and heated monologues during class.

The Empathetic Activist writes for an alternative paper about subjects such as child exploitation, or the effects of racial discrimination in the workplace. He or she has more causes on Facebook than friends, and is constantly updating his or her status to advertise the latest and most pressing issue. Fundraisers are organized, protests are made, and marches are formed!

Admit it or not, the Empathetic Activist will inspire you, if only just a little. You may feel unqualified or ignorant when listening to a discussion about the way “the man” is still active and bringing us down, but you will learn something.

The Empathetic Activist is probably the most open-minded person you will ever meet: he/she is pro-interracial dating, pro-foreign films, pro-culture…pro-a lot of things. They are good people to have around, except when you consider the ones who may also be pro-water conservation. The biweekly shower schedule isn’t always ideal for those around them.

[Photo courtesy of Boomelcha on Flickr.]

The Unofficial

Have you noticed that guy who trails three feet away from the girl who has a steady boyfriend? Or that girl who silently stalks the team player? Yup, they are The Unofficial.

The Unofficial is the guy or girl who is not the main entrée of the relationship. He or she is the appetizer before the main entrée… or maybe just the wilted salad. They are the one that someone turns to in order to curb their hunger before the main relationship meal.

The unofficial is whispered about by his/her friends and acquaintances. He/she is not appreciated for intelligence or personality; they are more often likened to slabs of meat waiting to be used.

The Unofficial is usually a promiscuous guy or girl who seeks attention from the opposite sex. There are no limits to their seduction tactics. The target is always someone in a relationship and the ultimate goal is to steal the title. Unfortunately, all they get is a little physical attention and a whole lotta false hope.

The Unofficial has a reputation for being “unofficial” to a lot of people. The Unofficial is so named because he/she is a serial side piece. Unofficial-ism may even last for years! He/she has never been in a real relationship and make themselves and others believe they are free spirits. They claim to be able to jump from person to person (even if that person is in a relationship) performing “acts of love” without fear of repercussion, guilt or shame.

He/she is a not a bad person – just someone with inferior morals, low self esteem or a longing to be loved by the one they admire. Who always happens to be in love with someone else. The unofficial would do anything to become the main squeeze. But the main squeeze they will never be. Instead, they will stand by as their target moves into other relationships, watching from a not-so-safe distance.

In many cases, The Unofficial is also transitional, though not to be confused with the rebound. The rebound is someone who has a chance of being the official girl or guy. That is not that case for The Unofficial. If the target male or female is suddenly single, The Unofficial warms the bench until the star player arrives. The Unofficial/ will never actually become an official. They just do not have the qualities.