Paris Bennett is going to be an American Mommy

The Simpson-Wentz bump has arrived!

Apparently, Posh Spice dated one of the Coreys

16 Candles…with, um, 24 extra

Don’t let Uncle Dave near the watermelons at your family BBQ

Would you date a Pretty Boy?

This web site officially seriously sets women back

This can’t bode well for marriage’s fleeting street cred

Weirdest. Trend. Ever.

If kids reviewed the country’s #1 movie

[Photo courtesy of EW.com]…

Every dude’s dream: Pam VS Jessica

Barack is the new Barbie

If girls ruled the internet

Watch Amy Winehouse punch people

What’s Lindsay doing these days?

Dear Jesus: Heidi wants to sing about you

Best cities for jobs in 2008

Ruben Studdard sings about his wife. Sort of

Guess what I’m having at my next pool party?

King Kong: a racist, sexist romp?

Um, did you buy that Louis Vutton from eBay?

DMX…calm yourself …

Dear Boyfriend,

While you were at your frat’s campfire Friday night—I know, triple kegger! How could you not check it out? Life’s too short, bro!—I stayed in and watched “Camp Rock,” Disney Channel’s newest original movie starring The Jonas Brothers.

Let me tell you something; these “bros” are like three Prince Charmings, and you’re still just a frog—a frog with crappy hair gel and a dorm room that constantly smells like Jose Cuervo and dirty underwear.

After …

A Colbert tribute to the late George Carlin

Realistic Hollywood sex scene–NSFW

I don’t know who has lower standards in this picture

First Kirk Cameron, now the JoBros

I hope “Disaster Movie” parodies itself

Mary-Kate, where’s your flair baby?

The final sign of the Apocalypse: a preview of Verne Troyer’s sex tape (NSFW)

Kanye needs to calm-ye down

Plan your next Spring Break with the help of Durex…

Oh, she’s just being Miley…via Brett Ratner

This whole “presidential election” thing has got more drama than any MTV reality show

Fess up on those summer plans

My marriage offer still stands, Jonas Brothers

Oscars vs. VMAs

I, too, would rock a “J” tattoo for John Mayer

Once a Samantha, always a Samantha

For those who once tried to rock, we still salute you…

Forbes presents the 20 Hottest Young Royals

Hey, neat: John Mayer and Pete Wentz are BFF

Who doesn’t like a good Shakespeare joke?

“Internet Love Song.” …By an emo kid with a ukelele.

Someone put too much sex in “Sex and the City”

Most awkward Father’s Day gift. Ever.

Exciting news for Fratellis fans

Mind of Man: the world’s scariest place…

Bye, Bye, Bye Lou Pearlman!

Oh, to be John Mayer’s camera.

I really think teenagers are getting dumber by the minute–er, MySpace

Ali Lohan: 14 going on 40

It’s summertime: learn how to apply bronzer

I take back all earlier judgement: I kind of dig Natalie Portman and her boo

Libertarian Ocean Colonies are totally the new Facebook

Heidi and Spencer’s PDA and gender-stereotyping outfits

Don’t forget to call Grandma–it’s Sinatra Day!

Beyonce is too famous for church or …

Everywhere I go, I see couples of all shapes and sizes. I’m no Supermodel, but I’m not a total trainwreck either; I’m literate, have seen “Iron Man” at least six times, and shower almost everyday. So why isn’t anyone spooning with me?

After analyzing all of my failed attempts into coupledom, I realized it’s not me doing something wrong–it’s every guy I’ve ever been with: they never meet my standards. But what are my standards? Two words: have mercy!

…Okay, …

Ali Lohan is no fan of mean girls

Justin Timberlake is bringing marriage back

9021-Oh, wait, are they racist?

Most. Diseased. Couple. Ever.

Robert Downey Jr.’s upcoming role ain’t no Iron Man

Apparently, girls don’t like Sci-Fi

Don’t burn your ex’s mixtapes!

The Tongue Painter makes me feel really conflicted

SNL gives a shout-out to college kids

What is Brooke Hogan famous for again?…

It’s Barack O’MANIA!!

George Clooney’s inner dialogue

You know, sometimes I wonder what Amy Winehouse’s thoughts would sound like

Living Lohan preview. ‘Nough said.

SO. READY. FOR. INDIANA JONES.

Celebrity couples update: because I’m totally alone

Beer Pong 2.0–Gawker vs. CollegeHumor vs Facebook

I love everything that Richard Simmons stands for

Protect your banana–and tell your boyfriend to do the same!…