(Girl, complaining in the student union lounge.) Girl: I used to like Gaga, you know, back when I thought she was a hermaphrodite. Like, I’d watch her, and I’d be like “yeah, this is good, I like this,” but I was always on my toes. Because you never know when something might just – pop out! It was exciting.

(Two guys, in the lunchroom.)
Guy 1: I’ll give you a hint. His name rhymes with Awesome.
Guy 2: Plawsome.
Guy 1: No.

(Two girls, walking through the mud after a football game.)
Girl 1: I want to make a really inappropriate joke.
Girl 2: Is it a Trail of Tears joke?
Girl 1: Okay, yeah.

(A bunch of people sitting around a campfire.)
Girl 1: Marshmallows are kinda gross, when you think about it.
Girl 2: I think it’s a good kind of gross. Like tiny, edible fat people.

(Two girls, studying in the library.)
Girl 1: Yeah, I’ll probably start sleeping here too. Under the tables or something.
Girl 2: No, I said “sleeping with girls” in the library. That’s different.
Girl 1: Oh. Yeah, I guess it is.

(Two guys in class, before lecture starts.)
Guy 1: My girlfriend broke up with me, and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed.
Guy 2: Ouch.
Guy 1: Yeah, I sent them to her dad.

Two girls, walking through the mud after a football game.
Girl 1: I want to make a really inappropriate joke.
Girl 2: Is it a Trail of Tears joke?
Girl 1: Okay, yeah.

(Two girls, coming out of an exam.)
Girl 1: Bombed it. That was terrible.
Girl 2: I think I did okay, actually.
Girl 1: And – damnit! And I forgot to water my veggies in FarmVille!

(Two girls in the dining hall.)
Girl 1: I know. I’m the best wing man ever!
Girl 2: Well, who’s your wing man?
Girl 1: (Pointing to her breasts and shimmying) I’ve got two.

(Guy, two girls, at dining hall breakfast.)
Guy: You girls don’t need your buns toasted, do you?
Girl 1: Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.
Girl 2: Heh heh. No.
Guy: I was talking about the hot dog buns