The votes are in, and it’s clear: Sarah Silverman is, indeed, living out all of our dreams.

For those of you who haven’t checked YouTube or read gossip blogs or engaged in casual conversation, or, I don’t know, LEFT THE ISOLATED LOG CABINS YOU’VE APPARENTLY BEEN LIVING IN for the past several weeks, the story is as follows: Sarah Silverman gifted her boyfriend, Jimmy Kimmel, with a lovely music video entitled “I’m F*&king Matt Damon.”

It’s pretty much what you’d …

Sex toys are great. They’re empowering. They’re sexy. They help you

to figure out your body and have more fun, alone or with a partner.

Yes, sex toys are a blessing for us all.

Except when they aren’t.

Sad to say, not all sex toys are invented by brilliant Swedish feminist engineers who work with an eye toward improving society one orgasm at a time. Some of them – many of them, in fact – are designed by scary cheeseballs …

One is not born, but rather becomes, a dude.

This, at any rate, is the conclusion suggested by a recent report in The Journal of Adolescence, which seems to show that teenage boys are more interested in emotional connection than in sex for its own sake.

The report concerns a survey of 105 tenth-grade boys, who answered questions about dating and sex, along with several more general questions of health and lifestyle. When asked about their reasons for pursuing a …

Breaking news: orgasms are fun. They’re so much fun, in fact, that the pursuit of orgasm is responsible for the vast majority of irrational human behavior, from the continued popularity of Jessica Alba to the purchase of clothing from American Apparel. (Dov Charney’s top secret marketing strategy: “Dude! Buy some ethically produced hologram pants! We’ll totally get you off.”) Yet, according to the 2000 Orgasm Survey, 72 percent of women have faked an orgasm at least once in their …

The man in this picture is a piece of shit rapist.

And now, the whole world knows it.

When Morgan Shaw-Fox forced oral sex on fellow Lewis & Clark University student Helen Hunter, she had the option of staying silent. After all, he was a popular and well-regarded student. They were alone when he did it. And criminal rape cases – especially cases of date rape, or cases where the victim consented to a certain degree of sexual activity before …

Everybody wants to tell me how they feel about Hillary.

Super Tuesday has come and gone. In spite of the fact that Hillary Rodham Clinton won the majority of the votes on that day, which usually cements the leading presidential candidates for both parties, her nomination as the Democratic Party candidate is not at all secure.

Obama has won eight straight primaries, and leads the race by a small but significant margin, aided by the fact that he continues to …

Have you, gentle reader, ever entertained the thought of seducing John Krasinski – through the universal language of song? Yes. Yes, in fact, you have. But before you proceed, consider the sad example of Aimee Mann.

She tries to do just that, in this entertaining yet not-at-all timely mockumentary, which features Mann wandering around Hollywood in a succession of dapper ties, trying to book various stars for her annual Christmas spectacular.

(Before you ask why Aimee is releasing …

At last: all my social problems have been resolved. Gone, for me, are the days of shyness, the empty nights, the nagging sense that I and my lowly breasts do not have anything to offer the world. No – these days, I’m the most popular girl on campus, with a sparkle in my eye, a spring in my step, and a blood alcohol level that is always just high enough to keep me from operating heavy machinery. What brought on …