No matter how much money or pink bunny costumes Hef gave her, Holly Madison wants to be with a baby-makin’ machine.

What former A-list rockstar is going blind?

The little boy and the lobster – cuteness that cannot be exaggerated.

Think twice before you post those drunk photos of yourself on Facebook.

Target is making it possible for us to dress like Michelle Obama.

This is possibly the most disgusting-looking cocktail on the planet.

This site makes us want to spend the day watching football on the couch.  Sports are cool!

9 shameless celebrity election videos

Uhhh, these people might have taken their Halloween decorations a little too far.

Ben Kweller has seen dead people.

We love Ashley Tisdale’s new dark hairdo!

Play nice boys! Mark Wahlberg wants to knock out Andy Samberg.

Gorgeous but deadly?  University of Washington student Amanda Knox might soon stand trial for murder – all because her roommate refused to join her in a drug-fueled orgy.

Holy hottness!  Andy Roddick is giving naked tennis lessons for $15k!

Miley Cyrus is so lazy wealthy she can pay people to spoon feed her.

Bill Maher wraps himself in atheist arms and the Catholics aren’t happy about it.

David Beckham is so hot he can steam up the frozen food aisle.

Did Christie Brinkley’s disgusting ex-hubby film himself having sex with a 19-year-old?!

Call your cable guy! Juno genius Diablo Cody has written a dramedy for Showtime.

John McCain is computer illiterate, so if you wanna get in touch with him don’t send an email.

Ouch! Madonna thinks Guy Ritchie is emotionally retarded.

Denis Leary is following his own advice by staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid.

Is it just us or are these shoes seriously ugly?

Jack Nicholson might want to consider hitting the gym.

While the idea of chugging gallons of vinegar to cleanse the body sounds tempting, not all of us can afford the $8000 price tag.

Still want to take a walk in the wilds of detox? Here are 7 insane spa treatments to look into.

Placenta Facials

Denise Richards and Megan Fox spending up to $500 for this anti-aging treatment that involves getting smeared with the layers of skin that protect a fetus inside a mother’s body. According to skin-care specialists, placenta facials are good for people with acne-prone skin that has been dried out from over-exfoliation.

Bull Semen Hair Conditioning

The latest offering at Hari’s Salon in London, the spa claims a combination of bull semen and protein rich plant roots strengthen hair and increases shine. “The semen is refrigerated before use and doesn’t smell,” owner Hari Salem says. “I have been searching for an organic product with a lot of protein because that is what hair is made of and lacks when it is dry. It leaves your hair looking wonderfully soft and thick.”

Dark Bathing Beer Baths

This one might even tempt your boyfriend. Clients at the Chodovar Beer Spa in the Czech Republic are immersed in a bath, enriched with active beer yeast and dehydrated crushed herbs. The warm water opens pores providing skin with a “wide range of vitamins, proteins and saccharides” that soften and regenerates the skin. After a 20 minute soak, clients enjoy 25-minutes of bed rest, covered in a fleece quilt, and then a 30-50 minutes massage.

Snake Massage

If you’re in the northern Israeli village of Talmey El’Azar, $70 will buy you a king, corn and milk snake massage. Six non-venomous serpents slither and slide across patients to relieve aching muscles and stiff joints. Reptile farmer/aesthetician Ada Barak says contact with the creatures is soothing.

Bird Poop Facials

Historically used to remove stains from delicate silk garments and whiten the skin of Japanese geishas, aestheticians swear by combining facial cleansers with a quarter teaspoon of dehydrated nightingale droppings. “The reason this product may work is the high concentration of urea in the fecal-urine combination in bird feces,” says dermatopharmacologist Brian Keller. “Urine has a lot of urea in it and it has long been used as a skin-softening agent.” Also known as Geisha Facials, the cost of a single treatment ranges between $144 and $225.

Arctic Ice Room

When in Vegas, do as the Romans do. Ancient bath houses featured cooling pools after a hot soak, and now spa operators at the Qua Spa at Caesar’s Palace are offering a similar treatment. In the Arctic Ice room, snow falls from a domed ceiling through mint-infused air chilled to 55 degrees Fahrenheit. Apparently rapid cooling of the body has proven health benefits.

Aura Adjustment

A modern twist on crystal healing, AuraLift treatments use probes to press on acupuncture points. Meanwhile, colored light passes through gemstones. The result should lift and tone skin muscles, leaving women feeling “radiant” with or without makeup.

For most women, a trip to a spa is an oasis of relaxation. Massages. Manicures, pedicures. Facials. Hours in the steam room. Maybe a seaweed wrap…

But many health and beauty resorts are going beyond basic pampering packages and offering optimum weight loss treatments, hyper-anti-aging techniques and lessons in bioenergetic psychology.

The hottest detox destination du jour? The Palace Hotel, nestled in the foothills of the Italian Dolomites.

Voted the most life-changing spa in the world by Tatler magazine, the world’s wealthiest and most glamorous women (Monaco’s Princess Caroline, Elle Macpherson, Uma Thurman) are lining up for the hotel’s intense “wellness” regiment.

Sample day? Apple puree for breakfast, electric shock therapy at lunch and laxatives for dinner.

The spa endorses a health system called biontology, “the study of the essence of life and its evolution” designed by Frechman Henri Chenot. Using a combination of Chinese medicine, naturopathy and advanced Western technology Chenot promises to “work on the equilibrium between mind, unconscious and physical body, attenuating the problems and signs of ageing, tiredness and organic intoxication.”

In between colonic irrigations, phyto-mud wraps, hydro jet therapy and (Gwyneth Paltrow’s favorite) cupping, guests submit themselves to daily naked weigh-ins, extreme food restrictions, hours of exercise and entire physical analysis (body mass index, heart and lung capacity, bio-energy circulation testing).

“I feel so sick and hungry,” Anna Pasternak writes of her week-long stay. “I am so dizzy I think I’m going to faint… The doctor comes and I sit crying, obsessed by how hungry and lonely I’m feeling.”

Although her mood eventually starts to improve, drinking rounds of “gag-inducing apple cider vinegar mixed with water to eliminate fluid retention” makes Pasternak wonder if it’s all really worth it.

Lucky for us, we might soon to get to experience the unmitigated hell in person. In addition to developing his own food line and expanding his popular skin care range, Henri Chenot is opening spas in Greece and Moscow.

Now if only I could pony up $8000 for a week-long visit.

“He was a teenager in a death camp in Nazi-controlled Germany. She was a bit younger, living free in the village, her family posing as Christians. Their eyes met through a barbed-wire fence and she wondered what she could do for this handsome young man.”

The incredible romance between Herman and Roma Rosenblat has inspired a children’s book and movie script. Calling Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling!

A world war, a Nazi death camp, 50 years of marriage, two children and three grandchildren and they’ve have never let each other go? If this doesn’t make you believe in the power of love, nothing will.

Gorgeous underwear model Katie Green is taking her curves and laughing all the way to the top.  A modeling sensation in the UK, 21-year-old Katie made headlines earlier this month when Wonderbra used the 5’10, size 10 stunner for their “real women” campaign and then shamelessly blasted her for being too fat. She’ll now debut as the new face and body of lingerie firm, Ultimo.

“I really didn’t know where my career was going to go after the depression of being told I was too fat,” she said after Wonderbra execs asked her to lose upwards of 30 pounds. “They got great publicity out of launching me as a ‘real’ curvy model. Then I was told that I had to lose lots of weight and become like all the other girls on the catwalk or I was finished. What a joke.”

Devastated by the demand, she quit the firm, telling friends she refused to sacrifice her health to look like a “bag of bones.”

“Katie’s figure is beautiful,” Ultimo boss Michelle Mone said. “I was appalled to hear that she was told she was too fat to model lingerie. She has an incredible shape and represents real women throughout the UK. She looks so sexy in our latest designs.”

WTF, Wonderbra? Since when is a size 10 “too fat”?! Does this woman look like someone who needs to lose 30 pounds?

HOW is this possible and WHY?!

Apparently, young Jamie Lynn couldn’t keep her legs shut and earnestly believed “she couldn’t get pregnant while she was breast-feeding.”

News flash, ladies: YES! You can get pregnant while breast feeding. And don’t even get me started on the possible father of this possible unborn baby.  Casey, you bastard…

If this internet speculation isn’t enough to get your man to slap on a condom, you might want to let him know about a few other ways he can knock you up, despite his best intentions.

Yup, we’ve got even more way to get preggers after the jump!

Yes, You Can Get Pregnant:

If You Don’t Have an Orgasm

Whether you got yours or not doesn’t matter for a nanosecond when it comes to baby-makin’. Pleasure (or lack of pleasure) is not birth control.

If You Pee After Sex

I had a guy say this to me one time after he “accidentally” came inside of me. Word to the wise, buddy: those are two different holes. Urinating after sex isn’t going to do anything except empty your bladder.

If You Jump Around/Sneeze/Cough After He Cums

Hoping to dislodge those pesky, swimming sperm with lotsa physical movement? Sperm are too fierce, fast and tiny for any of those methods to work. When a man ejaculates, the sperm are deposited deep into the vagina and will immediately begin to move up through the cervical canal.

If He Pulls Out

Once a guy gets aroused, he ejects pre-ejaculate fluid which can contain over 300,000 sperm! It only takes ONE to get you pregnant. There’s also the risk that he could cum near or around your vagina, making it possible for sperm to swim inside of you.

If You Double Bag It

Condoms are made and tested to provide a good fit, solid protection and maximum effectiveness.  Don’t mess with that. Encouraging your guy to wear two condoms can cause both to break.

If Your Mom/Sister/Grandma Had a Hard Time Getting Pregnant

While there are generalities regarding family history, eventually it all boils down to individual physiology. Just because the women before you had difficulty doesn’t mean you will. There are a few tests that give doctors an idea of how fertile you are, but no one can predict it 100%. Also, fertility is affected by the number of eggs you have as well as their quality. Currently, there’s no test for egg quality.

If You’re On The Pill

If you started taking oral contraceptives less than a month ago, doctors often recommend using a back-up method of birth control. In some women, one complete menstrual cycle is needed for the hormones in the pill to start working. If you’re lazy/forgetful and neglect to take your pills on a regular basis, they become drastically less effective. Set a timer to remind yourself to take the pill at the same time every day.

You Haven’t Had Your First Period Yet

Send this one to your little sister, pronto. A female can get pregnant anytime after she begins to ovulate. Most women ovulate about 14 days before their period begins (meaning a young girl could become pregnant even before has her very first period if the timing is right). And yeah, we’ve all heard some scary stories about 10 and 11-year-olds getting pregnant.

If You Drink or Douche With Enormous Quantities of Diet Coke

Remember the story we ran about Diet Coke – the New England Journal of Medicine reported the ingredients in Coca-Cola can act as a spermicide. First of all, do you really want to risk the possibility that your lunch hour beverage is preventing you from the hells of Jamie Lynn Spears? Second, douching with Coke is disgusting and irresponsible. Not only can it harm your reproductive system, it’s not possible to douche fast enough to keep sperm away from an egg. This is true for all douches (feminine deodorant, vaginal suppositories, sprays, etc.), not just cola.

During Your Period

Forget the b.s. your roommate told you about hormonal balances and the menstrual cycle. Every woman can get pregnant during her period, no matter how long or heavy the flow. On average, sperm can survive for 2-3 days inside a woman’s body, but it’s not uncommon for them to remain viable for up to 5 days. If sperm are deposited slightly before or after ovulation, they can hang around a few days waiting until conditions are right for conception.

If You Do It in a Shower or Swimming Pool

Repeat after me: Water is not a contraceptive. There’s nothing in water that can kill sperm or prevent a pregnancy from happening. Once sperm have been ejaculated into the vagina, water will not stop its mission to find an egg to fertilize.

In a Bathtub, Hot Tub and Jacuzzis

Convinced that hot water and/or chlorine will kill anything your man shoots out? Even men with a low sperm count can ejaculate 200 to 500 million healthy sperm!  Again, it only takes one to fertilize an egg. What’s more, in warm water with no chemicals (like a bath tub) sperm can survive for several minutes.

If It’s Your First Time Having Sex

Even if you’re a virgin, a woman’s chances for becoming pregnant are always the same, about 1 out of 20.   Source: Dr. Meredith Shur, East Side Women’s Ob-Gyn Associates, New York, NY.

If Your On Top or Standing Up

No, no, no. It doesn’t matter what position you do it in, how many times you do it or where the sexual activity is geographically located. Sperm can and will find you.

Condoms, ladies.  EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Wrap it up!

A recent, unpublished interview with singer/actress/MILF Jennifer Lopez has surfaced on the Internet leaving all of us to wonder if America’s favorite Latina queen is tumbling from her pedestal.

Drugs?! Scientology detox gone wrong? Unfit to be a mother? Celeb reporter Kevin Sessums got the scoop for Elle, only to be told his story would never see the light of day. Fortunately for the rest of the free world, Sessums took matters into his own hands.

Read more after the jump.

Unwashed! Unbrushed! Glassy eyed with a “a halo of frizz” around her head!

Why did Elle magazine refuse to run an accurate (if unflattering) interview with the diva? Here’s the deal.

Four months after giving birth to her twins (Max David and Emme Guadalupe) Elle sent celeb reporter Kevin Sessums to interview J. Lo for their October issue. They pitched the story as a fashion discussion about new moms who “do it all.” Out of the spotlight for several months, J. Lo’s handlers thought it would be the perfect opportunity for the diva to dish about training for a triathlon, motherhood and her plethora of upcoming projects. And naturally, an air-brush enhanced photo shoot would be the ideal way for Lopez to flaunt her slammin’ post-baby figure.

When Sessums arrived at Lopez’s Long Island estate to do the interview, he immediately felt he’d “caught the family on a bad day.” Jenny from the Block was under the weather, understandably feeling less than fierce and fabulous. 3am feeding sessions with two screaming bundles of terror? Severe post C-section pain? Yeah, you’d feel like sh*t too.

Nevertheless, Sessums and J. Lo had jobs to do (him: get the story, her: give a reasonably believable version of the truth). Ever the professionals, the two sat down and went to work.  What resulted was nothing more than an over-tired new mom rambling to a willing ear.

Sample quote: “At the tenth day after giving birth all that chemical stuff did peak—that hormone thing—and I did cry a lot that day because I was having so much trouble moving. I couldn’t get up fast enough to feed the babies…Marc was helping out a lot and I was crying and crying and going, ‘Oh, Papi…they’re going to know everybody more than me…They’re going to love everybody more than me!’”

Of course, as J. Lo rambled on, Sessums realized he’d hit the jackpot. He got lil’ J to open up about everything from breast feeding (she didn’t), to the money her and hubby Marc Anthony earned from selling pictures of the twins, to the nervous breakdown she suffered after filming Enough.

The resulting article that Sessums delivered back to Elle painted a very real, human picture of Jennifer Lopez. Like everyone else on the planet, she’s had big highs and low lows. She desperately wants to be a good mom, and (like so many other ambitious, driven women) she wants to continue her successful career. It would have been a smash for Elle – a celebrity story that all of their readers could relate to.

Why then did the mag kill the piece and send another reporter out to Long Island to re-interview the star? Elle claims the story simply got “too personal.” It’s unclear whether J. Lo herself decided she’d said too much or if the Lopez handlers simply panicked over Sessums’ depictions.

What is clear is that Sessums said F-YOU to Elle and handed his story over to Tina Brown’s new gossip outlet, Daily Beast. A ballsy move on his part given that Elle and probably every other major fashion magazine will never hire him again.

Read the full interview here and make a decision for yourself.  If you ask me, Jenny from the Block looks pretty damn good.

Snappy Sarah Palin might have been on to something when she gave a shout-out to “Joe Sixpack” during the VP debate. Maybe a beer-drinkin’, gut-bustin’ dude is the perfect pick for your next date. Here’s six reasons why.

1. You’ll never have to worry about curbing your alcohol intake at dinner, on dates, at the ballpark, at, well, anywhere. Rest assured he’ll guzzlin’ like a fiend too.

2. Skip the gym, embrace the beer belly. Nothing says bonding like rubbing your swollen gut against his as you climb into bed.

3. No more frivolous lingerie purchases. Your new man has an endless supply of over-sized, well-worn t-shirts. Throw one on, flaunt your bare legs and blow him kisses from the bedroom door. He’ll be on you like a Doberman in heat.

4. Spending a fortune on fancy microbrews? Forget it. Stock up on PBR, Miller Lite and Bud. While you’re at it, throw a king-size bag of super-cheezy nachos in the cart as well.

5. Toss your painful, pinching stilettos. There’s no need to prance around in high heels when most of your dates will take place on his sofa in front of the game.

6. Worried about Joe impressing mom and dad? Never fear. Once they see him crush a beer can with his bare hand they’ll know he can protect their daughter from evil villains… and any other leering rednecks.

Before you head for the nearest mall, get smart. Hundreds of companies use October to boost their image (not to mention their profits) by connecting themselves to a good cause. Just because an item is anointed with the sacred pink ribbon doesn’t make it clear where the money from this product is going.

If you really want to make a real difference in the fight against breast cancer, volunteering your time or contributing to a great, reputable charity is the way to go. But if you’re in the mood to splurge (or stock up on office supplies, paper towels, lip gloss and home furnishings) read the fine print on those pink product labels.

In the meantime, here’s a peak at nine awesome items from brands that donate a significant amount to breast cancer charities

Celebrity Tees by Bop Basics

Shopbob has partnered with Denise Richards, Hilary Duff, Sophia Bush, Nicky Hilton, Cindy Crawford and Jamie King to launch Breast Cancer Awareness Month Tees. Each shirt has a unique design, with 50% of each sale going to Breast Cancer Network of Strength, an organization that provides emotional support to anyone affected by breast cancer. Its mission is to ensure that no one faces breast cancer alone.

General Mills’ “Save Lids to Save Lives” Yoplait Yogurt

This program has raised more than $19 million over the past 10 years. The program donates 10 cents to Susan G. Komen For The Cure Foundation for every lid mailed back by the end of the year, with a guaranteed donation of $500,000 and a cap of $1.5 million.

e.l.f.’s Super Glossy Lip Shine in Pink Kiss

Only $1 most drug stores, 100% of all sales during October benefit the Breast Cancer Research Foundation.

Estee Lauder Pink Ribbon CollectionEstee

Lauder will donate $500,000 in connection with the sales of its Pink Ribbon Collection to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation.

Tomboy Traveler Tool Kits & Hammers

In partnership with the Susan G. Komen For the Cure Foundation, Tomboy is working to make a $1 million donation to research. The company will donate $7 of each Tomboy Traveler tool kit sold before Dec. 31 and 50% of the purchase price of their Help Hammer Out Breast Cancer tools.

In The Pink Chocolate Collection

Put your diet on hold. 20% of the retail price of these divine chocolates are donated to fund various breast cancer research projects. Voted one of the best holiday gifts on the Today Show, the nine piece box includes flavors like Bravery Baseball Caps, Pink Paisley, Swirls, Pink Ribbon, You Go Girl!, Raspberry, and Heart of Life.

Aveda Breast Cancer Awareness Hand Relief

$4 from each sale will fund environmental research at the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. Founded in 1993 by Evelyn H. Lauder and dedicated to funding clinical and genetic research on breast cancer at medical institutions across the globe, Aveda will donate a maximum of $300,000.

Hanky Panky Breast Cancer Signature Thong

Lacy, low-rise and adorned with a rhinestone breast cancer awareness ribbon on the hip. You can’t pass up these sexy one-size-fits-all panties. $2 of every purchase will be donated to the Susan G. Komen Foundation.

Skyn ICELAND Detox Kit

In October the $45 kit gives you a month’s supply of face wash, face mist, lotion and oxygen-infusing night cream and provides $5 donation to The American Cancer Society. The collection is free of parabens, petroleum and sulfates, as well as being 100 percent vegetarian.

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