Before this, I’ve seen some silly pants on guys, but I’ve always kept my mouth shut because who am I to talk? They put up with my hundred-dollar-stiletto cravings, don’t they? (And they carry me home at the end of the night when those hundred-dollar silettos give me hundred-dollar blisters.) But what gets me this time is that this particular pair of jeans retails for about $550. [Yes, I‘m serious! FIVE HUNDRED.]

I don’t get it. Maybe it’s a guy thing, because all I saw when I looked at these was this:

And the more I thought about it, the more I realized how weird some guy trends really are. So now I’d like to interrupt our weekly segment of “What He Really Thinks…” and turn it over to you ladies to judge these pieces of incomprehensible male fashion. But to be fair, I’ve taken some comments from the peanut gallery. You know, to give them a chance to defend themselves see the light:

(Jeans above)
The BF, Rutgers University
BF: “Bah-da-buh-buh-buhh… I’m lovin’ it.” It’s either that or he sat on something.
Me: “Those cost $500.”
BF: For five hundred dollars those jeans better wipe my #$% for me.
Me: ….
BF: … No, seriously? Cause I have some old jeans from that painting job if anyone’s interested. Come see me on eBay.

Photographer, The Art Institute of Houston:
Photog: Hey.. she’s got a pretty nice ass.
Me: “That’s a guy.”
Photog: OHH! OMFG. WTH is wrong with you? Why would you show me that?
Me: “Because YOU’RE wearing a pair of guy skinnies?”
Photog: Yeah, but they’re not that tight. Besides, I started wearing them first. I hate how everyone’s trying to be all ‘avant garde’ now, just because it’s ‘in.’ I did it forever ago.
Me: “Yeah whatever, you just checked out another guy’s ass.”

Premed, NYU:
Pre-doc: WHY IS HE WEARING A PURSE?!
Me: “I don’t know. But what do you think of the jeans? Would you wear these?”
Pre-doc: No.

J., USP: I have purple skinny jeans. That’s just my style. I think they’re cool. They’re a lot more comfortable than you’d think. Just lose the purse. That’s never cool on a guy.

V, Kean University - Haha! Throwback. I used rock my pants like that back in the day. That was the sh*t from grammar school to high school. But then you go to college and you grow out of it. You “Kayne it up,” ya know?

Little Brother, 12:
Me: “You know Mom would never let you leave the house like this, right? Ever.”
Lil bro: Yup.

Ok, so this is just a taste of the dude trends I’m not understanding. I’d love to hear what you girls think of these hot messes.  Leave a comment below!

Fall is rapidly approaching and with it comes the excitement of Welcome Week, the thrill of meeting new people, and the resurgence of long denim. Normally, I’d welcome the chance to trade up my daisy dukes for a comfy pair of jeans, but this year something’s come up that’s made me reconsider.

While scouring the internet for upcoming trends, I found that I kept coming across… acid washed and bleached denim? Hmm. Didn’t know what to make of that. So of course I turned to my trusty (?) funny panel to get their take on it all.

The Look:

The Verdict:

The BF, Rutgers University - Yum… Is she milkable? *evil stare* KIDDING!

Photographer, The Art Institute of Houston - Wonder what the advertisements for those are: Don’t have a tan? No bleached locks? NO WORRIES! These babies were made to transform you from a respectable human being to a raunchy and wild, “I’ll make you buy me drinks all night at the bar and then hook up with your friend” type. .. Not that a girl wearing pants like those ever did that to me! *Riigghhhtt.*

Little Brother, 12 – She looks like a cow. You know, cause her pants make her look like she has cow legs. And the pointy black shoes are like hooves! *Hmm… I don’t know if I appreciate how my guys keep comparing women to animals..*

Premed, NYU - How did she manage to get ink all over herself? Haha.. No just kidding. They’re okay. Kind of funky though. I guess if you get them dirty you can always pretend that they’re supposed to look like that.

G, Kean University - Wow, I just thought of something dirty looking at those.. all the white blotches. Wonder how they got that way *wink wink*

** OMG… he actually winked. Ew. That was so unnecessary and creepy. I think I’ll stop taking fashion any advice from him now.**

Okay while you guys duke it out on whether or not you’d ever rock a pair of denim like these, I’ll be taking a shower and scrubbing my eyeballs out. (No, seriously G, you’re weird). Anyway, let me know what you think about these pantalones.

If you have any trends you want the boys to take a look at, feel free to send them over.

PS: For all of you who were wondering how the Christian Siriano Payless shoes came out, you can breathe easy. They arrived sans chains and Bowser spikes (boo), and they’re actually quite boring. Not at all the fierce collection I hoped for. See for yourself.

Have you ever wondered what he really thinks about the stuff you wear? So have I, and that’s why I’ve compiled a panel of guys willing to share their opinions on certain “fashionable” items weekly.

I know you weren’t too thrilled about my outfit choice last week; I get it. This week we won’t have to debate the merits of too-expensive designer gear because, luckily, this Fall it’s all about affordable designer collaborations like Anna Sui for Target, Max Azria for Walmart and Christian Siriano for Payless. Yes, I said Payless. As in, Payless where you used to get your penny-loafers and light up sneakers as a kid. That Payless. I must admit – I was skeptical at first, but with Christian Siriano behind it, how can I expect it to be anything less than “fierce”?

The Look:

The Verdict:

The BF, Rutgers University - Hey that’s actually kind of cool. A little scary, but cool. Don’t you think they might be a little dangerous though? They’re kind of high. And pointy-looking.

Photographer, The Art Institute of Houston- I like the detailing and the hardware. They’re cute… except for the ones with the dinosaur spikes. “Watch out! Heumungasarous coming through!” And then all the little Japanese people scatter.

Premed, NYU- HAHA… OMG! Women these days are getting so creative. Who needs weapons when you’ve got on these babies? They’re like anti-rape shoes!

*Actually, THESE are anti-rape shoes:

Surprised? Yeah, me too. I would have imagined anti-rape shoes to look more like Crocs.

Little Brother, 12- Electric shoes?! Cool! (“No! Not those, the other ones!”) Oh. Then they’re okay. They’d be cooler if they were electric though, I’m just saying.

R, Fordham University- Ouch! You wouldn’t want to piss off a girl wearing those heels. I’m sure those spikes are capable of doing some lasting damage. My jewels hurt just looking at them!

G, Kean University- If I saw a chick in the club wearing those shoes… I don’t know. That’s pretty hot. Chains and spikes on stilettos. Sounds like some crazy-sexy-dominatrix, S&M kinda thing. **Uh.. Maybe you need a 100,000 volt shock, G. Or a cold shower.

A lot of people have argued that Siriano’s shoes bear a remarkable resemblance to Rodarte’s previous lines, but I don’t really care. Because, let’s face it, at $25-$45 a pair this is the closest I’m going to get to Rodarte anythings. I like that the shoes are (to the everyday world anyway), pretty different. I have yet to see another girl rocking spikes or chains as fierce as these and despite what the guys think, they don’t look S&M to me. They actually look designer, which is more than I can say about the products of previous collabs *coughAlexanderMcQueencough*

They’re not perfect, but as far as Payless goes, I’m impressed. Are you impressed? Do you think you’ll be grabbing a pair (or three)?

UPDATE: According to some internet sources, what we see might not be what we get come Fall. They say that Siriano “toned it down” for retail and the fabulously spiked shoes above were created solely for runway purposes. I’m very disappointed. Figures. Guess I’ll have to go back to carrying mace to scare off the creepers. Sigh.

I’m going to be honest here: the only reason why I’m posting this hyphen-dress is because I desperately want it. Imagine this with some killer black booties. Sigh. So, as the selfish person that I am, I’m exploiting my column to find out what my guys would think if I ever got the guts (or the cash!- we’re talking Alexander Wang, man. He made my future wedding gown Mrs. Obama’s inauguration dress!) to wear something like this outside.

The Look:

The Boyfriend, Rutgers University- Seriously, babe? It’s a really expensive ripped up sweater. Give me five minutes and a pair of scissors and I can make it for you. I’ll call it “Inspired by Moths.” And because I love you, I’ll give you half off, too.

Photographer, The Art Institute of Houston- I like it on the runway. It’s the type of stuff you get all the time at fashion shows. But in real life? I don’t know… you’d have to be pretty hot to pull that off.

Premed, NYU- Did she pull on an old sweater without realizing it had giant moth holes?

Little Brother, 12- That’s so cool! I want to rip up my shirts! She looks like she just got attacked by some kind of wild animal. Like that tiger dude from Las Vegas. *“Er… really? Didn’t he get like, really hurt?“ Okay, fine. Maybe not like him. That wasn’t funny… Sorry.

G, St. John’s University- Uhm.. I don’t really know about the holes but I kind of like how it’s all shiny and stuff.

“Shiny and stuff” That’s it? Cause technically, these constitute as “shiny and stuff” too:

You think he’d like these? Hm..maybe I shouldn’t be taking my fashion advice from these guys.

Visiting Cousin, 15- It looks like a really, really short dress. Or a long sweater. With holes. I can see her undies.

Uncle- “Undies”?? What are you kids looking at?! …. Why isn’t she wearing pants? *Eyeing me suspiciously* Is that what you girls are wearing these days? Does your mom know about this? Why would anyone want to wear anything with holes in it??

Okay, so obviously I have the majority against me. But you know what? I’ve decided I like it anyway. It’s a girl thing. And to my smart-ass bf, I think you’ve got a point there. I think I’ll try to DIY something like this (who’s the smart one now, huh?). I’ll keep you guys updated if it comes out well. Unless, of course, you guys hate it. In which case, kindly sound off in the comments section. I’d love to know your opinions (and lord know you’ve got ‘em!).

Also, do you ever wonder what guys think of the things you wear? Have a questionable article of clothing you want to see featured in upcoming “What He Really Thinks“ articles? I’m open to submissions from you guys!

I like American Apparel for the most part. Although their prices are a little steep for me, the trade offs are comfy basics that don’t fall apart after one wash *coughForever21cough.* You should be warned, though; try navigating their site and you’ll have to push through a bunch of these:

Now I really don’t know how to feel about this “swimsuit.” I honestly can’t believe that people actually buy this stuff (at $36 – really, American Apparel?) but after sorting through 35 mostly positive reviews about it, I’m torn. Not that I would ever wear this, but still – I can’t figure out if I’ve missed something crucial that makes this outfit socially acceptable. Like the very limited nipple coverage, perhaps?

Of course, to help me with my confusion, I’ve turned to my favorite guys for their opinions:

The Boyfriend, Rutgers University – Didn’t Borat wear something like that?

Photographer, The Art Institute of Houston – WTH is this?! They’re like the “mom jeans” version of a bathing suit; not attractive on anyone. I mean, if you like the elongated ass look, then by all means, buy it. But at least make it respectable with a bandeau top or a cropped tee underneath.

Premed, NYU- It’s pretty trashy; I’d never be okay with my girl wearing that, especially not around my family. But then again, isn’t this American Apparel? Aren’t all their ads super porno-ish?

*Touche, NYU*

G., St. John’s University - Can you wear that in public? Her boobs are like, literally popping out. What if they fall out? There are little kids at the beach!

R., Fordham University - She’s pretty hot. But still, I feel kind of violated/dirty looking at this.

Little Brother, 12 - *HA! Yeah, okay. Like I was going to let my little brother see that!*

I have to admit, Photographer’s advice to pair it with a bandeau top is pretty appealing, but not appealing enough to make me want to try it. Think of the tan lines! But that’s just me. What do you think? Will you be rocking this Nylon Tricot Swimsuit this summer? Any guys willing to share their opinions?

Do you ever wonder what he really thinks about the stuff you wear? Like after you spend hours in front of your mirror trying to find the perfect outfit to impress him, do you wonder if he cares? I’ve found that a lot of the stuff I adore, attempt, or appraise as high fashion – most men just don’t notice.

Though my BF, bless his soul, tries dearly to understand why I’d want to bust my paycheck on the shoe equivalent of a medieval torture chamber, he, in all his Nike wearing glory, just doesn’t get it. [He humors me, but I'm pretty sure he can't tell a Louboutin from a Payless.] And really, when it comes down to it, don’t we put up with all that “Pain is Beauty” crap to attract guys? Are 5 inch stilettos necessary? Does he even notice?

So for every girl who’s ever wondered, I’ve comprised a panel of real guys willing to share their opinions:

The Guys:
The Boyfriend, Rutgers University - The average fashion-challenged college guy. Though he humors me with his attempts to understand the outfits I throw on, he can be extremely blunt.

Fashion Photographer, The Art Institute of Houston - Super metro. He works with models and clothes all the time so he’ll be more forgiving of some fashions, but he’s especially harsh when it comes to the styles he dislikes.

Premed, NYU - He’s funny and insightful, but he’s ultimately still a guy when it comes to women’s clothing.

Little brother, 12 - Okay so he’s not technically a college guy, but he has his fair share of opinions on what makes sense and what doesn’t. Plus, we all know how honest (read: mean!) kids can be.

The Look:
Everybody loves LuLu’s. College Candy loves LuLu’s. And now that they’re offering College Candy readers 15% off every purchase, we can’t help but love them more. It seems like nothing can dimish our love. Except, well…… this:

After finding this on LuLu’s usually fashion-forward website, I had to see what my guys thought.

The Boyfriend, Rutgers University - Are you kidding me? What’s that supposed to be? Where’s the crotch? That looks like a diaper, and it doesn’t help that it’s brown.

Photographer, The Art Institute of Houston - She looks like she’s hiding balls. Maybe she’s a he.

Premed, NYU - This is going to sound mean but… ever seen the back of a horse? Like, it’s rear end? LOL!

Little Brother, 12 - Those look like lederhosen, you know, the things with the straps that Scottish people wear.

** Correction: Lederhosen are worn by “Germanic men” and they look something like this:

Yeah, I guess I can see where he’s coming from.

While the Knickers seem pretty comfy (hey, no risk of a yeast infection), I don’t think I could ever do the whole MC Hammer thing. But if you have $53 to blow, you can purchase your own pair at LuLus.com. Don’t forget to use your discount!

What do you think of these Nifty Knickers? Would you wear them? Comment below, and while you’re at it – how do you like our new installment? Any honest guys out there willing to be a part of our panel?

Let’s face it, you can mind your manners all you want but there’ll always be that jerk that comes along and pushes you off the swing set anyway *cough-Ryan-M-from-first-grade-cough* So here are some quick guidelines of how to deal with the Ryans of this world:

During a confrontation…

1. Ask yourself if it’s really worth it.
If someone’s walking straight at you and expect you to get out of their way, remember that it wouldn’t kill you to move over. Yeah, it’s a pain in the butt and yeah, that person is completely rude, but is it worth ruining your day over?

2. Stay calm under pressure.
As Miss Manners, I really can’t condone rudeness; however, I do understand that everyone has bad days and sometimes people honestly don’t know that they’re being rude. So if you catch an attitude at the get-go, they might see it as you being rude first. Never fight fire with fire. No matter what, speak calmly and rationally and perhaps they’ll realize how ridiculous they sound in comparison.
DO NOT: Act patronizing. If your calmness comes off as patronizing/douche-y, that’ll only set them off again. No one likes to feel stupid and you’ll just push their buttons if they feel like you’re looking down on them.
OR: Start a shouting match, especially in public. Then both of you are being rude. Plus it’s hard to be rational when you’re screaming/being screamed at.

3. Address the rudeness.
Say something along the lines of, “Excuse me, but it was really rude of you to steal my swing like that.” If they haven’t realized by now that they’ve been rude, now they know. And if they’ve already realized it and just don’t care, this will hopefully shame them into acting dignified. Stick to the facts and explain to them exactly what’s wrong with the situation.
DO NOT: Apologize unless you mean it. We can all tell when an apology is insincere and, trust me, it doesn’t make anyone feel better [especially if it was sarcastic].

4. If all else fails, leave.
Walk away from the situation. It isn’t the “weak” way out as some drunken frat boys may argue; it’s the adult thing to do. Be the bigger person and let it go. Yes, even if you’re right. You aren’t backing down, you’re walking away, which is much more mature.

PS: Violence is not the answer, kids. Make love, not war.

So, have you gotten into any confrontations lately? Did you do the right thing? How did you handle it? Tell me about it!

Miss Manners says: Nope. It’s better and more respectable if you’re upfront with the guy rather than lead him on out of pity/kindness.  And, let’s be honest, you don’t want to have to screen your calls for the next 6 months out of fear that he’s not moving on….

Try one of these tactics to deliver the news instead:

Lie. Ahhh… The cornerstone of all etiquette: the white lie. Apologize and tell him that you have a boyfriend or tell him you dropped your brand new Blackberry down the toilet (true story). Yes, of course lying is bad and oft looked down on, but sometimes a white lie is more forgiving than the truth – as long as you don’t get too crazy with your story (“I have a penis”) and nobody gets harmed in the process.
Be wary of: Betting caught in your lie. Trust me, it’s pretty humiliating and you could end up with the “bitch” label. And news of a bitch spreads fast.

Politely excuse yourself… and run to the nearest restroom/exit. Say, “I’m sorry but I have to go,” with an air of finality so he gets the hint.
Be wary of: Him NOT getting the hint and waiting outside the bathroom door for you. Creepy? Yes. Possible? Definitely.

Try the truth (nicely). My preferred method, of course, as long as it’s delivered with tact. You don’t have to be mean about it. An apologetic, “You’re just not my type” will get your point across and you won’t have to worry about it/him haunting you in the future.
Be wary of: Hurting him – although, to be honest, any method of rejection will probably bruise his ego. And while you never want to be a mean heart-stomping bitch, it’s time to do what’s best for you and not worry about the weird creeper in the process.

So in conclusion, rejection is a dirty business, but in some cases it just has to be done. Don’t ever feel like you have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with because etiquette deems it so. If you don’t want to give that turd your number, don’t.

Anyway, I’m dying to hear about your rejection stories/tips. Leave a comment and tell me all about it!

Things are starting to fall back into their old routines, but it’s not the same. You’re an adult now, a house guest in your own home. Your house doesn’t really feel like your pre-college home anymore and the rules have all changed… or have they? Check out these Home-for-the-Summer House Rules:

Curfews. Yes, I understand that most of us are way too old to have curfews. This isn’t about that. It’s rude to stumble in at 1 in the morning and wake up the entire house. And regardless of whether you’re 12 or 22, you should probably give your parents a heads up if you’re planning to stay out late. Your parents will always be your parents and if their baby is still out “missing” with no warning, they’re going to worry/call the cops.

Chores. Just because you’re an ‘adult’ now (especially because you’re an adult now) doesn’t mean you can laze around all summer. Your mother is not your maid. If your parents are feeding you and letting you live rent free for the summer, the least you can do is pick up after yourself and help around the house. Chances are, the rents have realized that you’re going to be around for awhile and they’ve already put you to work anyway.

Visitors. Again, clear it up with your parents before you invite your entire sorority over for a midnight bash in your basement. Even if it’s just a couple of study buddies who want to hang for the night, be respectful about it. Poor granny might be trying to sleep in the other room!

Smoking/Drinking/Drugs. You need to accept that you’re not on campus anymore. “Experimenting” the way you do in school is not okay during summer break… especially not at 10 am in your living room. It’s disrespectful and it makes your parents question whether or not they’re wasting money on your education.

Er… Sleeping Buddies. I’m not knocking it, but I really don’t know why you’d want to have sex with someone while your parents are in the room down the hall. I mean, if that’s your thing and your parents are perfectly cool with you having sex under their roof, then, by all means, enjoy it. But make sure they’re okay with it. (Note: I have no idea how to broach this topic.) If you get the green light, remember to always warn them when you have a guest over – you don’t want your daddy to bust in swinging a bat because he heard some strange “thumping noises” coming from your room.

Sadly, the rules have not changed. Your parents can still pull the whole, “You live under my roof, you live by my rules” speech and as long as that’s true, you can’t do a thing about it. But don’t worry – only a few more months til jailbreak!

Yeah, that jerk is usually me.

I’ve always been a cash girl – it’s efficient, it’s solid, and it’s hard to let go of. I just think credit cards make it too easy (“That’ll be $563.94” *swipe* “Thank you have a nice day!”) and that’s entirely my point. You can swipe away bucket-loads of money without realizing it. Credit cards make it so simple, it’s like you can get whatever you want and you’re not even spending real money.

However, when it comes down to forking over a twenty dollar bill to some Starbucks chick for a cup of coffee, I’m much more hesitant to get the overpriced (albeit ridiculously addictive) Venti Caramel Frap. With cash, it’s either you have it or you don’t. With credit, you always have it (or so you think).

I’ve seen many a times when my girlfriends get a little swipe happy and come home with shopping bags full of things they can’t really afford because “they can always pay it back later.” And I’m not too psyched about debit cards either – $32 overdraft fees because I went a dollar over my limit? Yeah okay.

I must admit that the only thing keeping me from shelling out hundreds at a time on online shopping is my serious lack of plastic. But I have reached a point in my life where it is almost impossible to go without a credit card and an embarrassment not to have a bank account. I’m all for hiding money in the mattress (uh… I mean not hiding it in my mattress- great, now the thieves will know where to look) but it simply isn’t practical anymore. I get it, I need to start building my credit. No bank = no credit = no interest = no security. So yes, I have resorted to getting myself some plastic.

But honestly, I’m worried about swiping myself to debt (ha!). Any advice? Anyone in the same boat?
Paper or plastic?