#9: Reading for pleasure is magical. Make time for it!

Just last February, I was planning my 21^st birthday party. Now, I’m facing 22 (or as I like to call it 21+1) straight on. Even though the last twelve months have gone by, it feels like just yesterday I was indulging in jello shots and margaritas. For my 21st. Because just yesterday I was indulging in jello shots and margaritas.

Looking back, though, much has happened in the past year. It seems I’ve learned a lot while Ke$ha put a dollar sign in her name and started brushing her teeth with a “bottle of Jack,” John Mayer proclaimed that he is on the search for “the Joshua Tree of vaginas,” and the Jersey Shore became a national phenomenon.

So here (in no particular order) is what I know for certain after turning 21. Perhaps you youngsters can take a few things from this:

1. Friendships should make you happy — not pissed off : Friends should be so much more than people you dance on tables with and dish about the weekend to. They should be there for you, and you should be there for them. They also should not steal your alcohol on your 21^st birthday and make out with the fraternity guy, all while puking as your boyfriend helps take care of them.

2. Raincoats are amazing: They are often understated and overwhelmingly overlooked when it comes to fashion. But even if they aren’t fashionable, really, you can’t complain when that slicker keeps your from frizzing. Without a rain jacket I wouldn’t have made it through the summer in London. And I think it actually kept me going to class this past semester. Why didn’t I realize this sooner? It doesn’t matter if you have a basic from Lands End or a super sexy trench from Dillards, just get one!

3. Go to the gym: Surprisingly enough, it is worth your time. Who knew? I sure didn’t, until I started going religiously with my boyfriend back in September. If you actually go to the gym and do more than hang out on the treadmill and elliptical for thirty minutes, you can see results. Plus, it teaches you patience on so many different levels.

4. Do not drink MD 20/20: Even if the frat-mixed mojitos are watered down and tasting a bit like a dirty dance floor, stay away from the MD.

5. Do experience a Pimms with Lemonade: Although you probably have never heard of this drink before, Pimms with Lemonade is a London pub staple. The Pimms is to Wimbledon, as the mint julep is to the Kentucky Derby. This fresh tasting, fruity cocktail will may be enough to convince you to study abroad for a semester. It’s to die for.

6. Puppy Love = True Love: Dogs truly give the most unconditional love. Even though my boyfriend got a dog back in September and it has been a ton of work, I can’t help but keep falling in love with the little darling. You can’t have a bad day whenever a puppy is around. However, at the same time, the realization that having a puppy is a huge responsibility is constant and serves as amazing birth control for many, many years to come.

7. The VS Miraculous Push Up Bra is a miracle: The Victoria’s Secret new Miraculous Push Up bra is the greatest and latest thing to come into the world of retail. With a level 5 design to push up and lift, this push up bra is not playing around – it increases your breast size by two full cups. Unlike a lot of push up bras, this bra actually makes your boob size look believable, all while supplying comfort.

8. Hell No to the Snow: I can never live where it snows on a daily basis during the winter. After what I deemed the Great Snow of ’09 in Virginia (in which 24 inches of snow fell in two days), this has re-arranged my life geographically for good. Those applications to Illinois for graduate school?  Out the window. My dream of always visiting Maine? Only if it’s summer.  Multiple inches of snow at a time? No thanks.

9. Reading is magical: Taking the time to read for pleasure in between reading for class is one of the best ways to relax. This past year, I have rediscovered my love for reading, all while falling in love with some great stories. Need something to restart your love of reading? Read The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon or Train to Trieste by Domnica Radulescu.

10. “That’s So You!” It’s important to have your signature piece, be it clothing, music or opinion. This has made my life simpler and more defined.

11.  Meeting the Parents: Meeting the parents is scary. However, whether they like you or not is out of your hands. You can be the sweetest girl they have ever met, but if they don’t like the idea of their kid being with someone without the qualifications they are looking for (i.e.: money, a professional school degree), it doesn’t matter how amazing you are or how much you have going on for yourself. Just accept it and try not to take it to heart … too much.

12.  Post-Grad is intimidating: Graduate, law, and business school applications are a lot more comprehensive than they lead you to believe on first glance. Those statements of intent and optional essays are really unlike anything you have written in the past, unless you are a professional graduate school applicant. Starting early is the only way to preserve your sanity as senior year rolls around. And taking the GRE or LSAT, well those should have occurred a year ago. Oops!

13.  “Welcome to the real world, she said to me…:” Although the quarter-life crisis often seems inevitable, I have learned that I definitely do not want to go down the John Mayer permanent-existential-life-crisis road. While his never-ending misery will supply good music for more and more years to come (without a doubt), I choose to not dwell. It’s much healthier this way, even if I do enjoy indulging in his misery sometimes.

14.  Stop reading beauty magazines: I’ve stopped buying magazines and I feel much more enlightened.  Instead, I have stopped giving my $3.99 to advice on how to make a man moan and enjoy the in-depth features in the feminist friendly Bust magazine, and the musically progressive Paste.

15.  Give a Little Bit: Helping others is amazing and it makes you feel better than anything else can.

16.  It’s Overrated: Being a senior is overrated. I have had more work and more responsibility than ever before and I feel like with every passing day, more and more obligations come my way. While it seems that a lot of seniors are spending their nights partying and hanging out, I am writing 20-page papers and doing graduate school rain dances to promote a surplus of acceptance letters.

17.  To Thine Own Self, Be True: To be a writer, you need to have extremely thick skin. Regardless of what your stance is, someone is always going to go against it and you have to be true to yourself and the piece you are writing. The same goes for all facets of life; you gotta be you and that’s that.

18.  Big birthday parties don’t prove anything: Big birthday parties aren’t all that they are cracked up to be. After years of over-the-top Disney birthday,  the whole high school teenage hang-out-birthday scene, and the exuberantly drunk and pretentiously planned college birthday, I will take the quiet and intimate birthday dinner over anything else.  It’s better to celebrate with those that actually matter.

19.  Lady Gaga is a goddess: She’s given us greatness, i.e.: “I’m bluffin’ with my muffin,” disco-bras, “Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah! Roma-roman-mamaa! Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!,” and perhaps the greatest line of them, “I’m a free bitch, baby!” Her stage presence is to die for, and her genuine, authentic, down-to-Earth personality (come on, didn’t you see her on Oprah?) is addictive. Plus, I’ve seen a slew of live performances and I have to say, Gaga outperforms the rest with her Monster Ball.

20.  Say No to Parent Drama: If your parents are magnificent – great. If they aren’t, it is time to accept it and move on, instead of constantly wishing for your mother to be someone she is not.

21.  The Little Things Count: It’s important to relish the little things. In college, so much happens at once, it feels like the world can pass you by – especially once you turn 21 and the end of college seems very near. The most important lesson I’ve learned is to take time doing something you enjoy. It doesn’t matter if you want to get crazy drunk on a Friday night or take an extra art class, but do what gives you the most pleasure. Make time for more sex. Make time to cook dinner with your roommates. Just make time! As each year goes by, it is also important to look back to see what you’ve learned (whether it’s good, bad, ugly, or silly).

What has been the most ground-breaking discovery of your 21st year or your last birthday? Share!

For those going abroad for the upcoming semester or planning a trip to Europe anytime soon, here are some helpful tips to get you around:

You are from Canada: Let’s be honest – Americans like to think they rule the world, and sometimes that holier than thou attitude rubs Europeans the wrong way. Don’t go overseas acting like a stereotypical American (you know, the ones that yell loudly when speaking to someone that doesn’t understand English as if the other person is deaf…) It may be hard when adjusting to culture shock, but the best way to get past it is to simply embrace it. If you can’t … just say you’re from Canada and all the questions will go away.

“Tap Water is For The Prisoners”: When I was thirteen, I went to Europe for two weeks on a guided school trip. The tour guide told my class that only prisoners drink tap water, so we shouldn’t order it at a restaurant. Forget that, live like a prisoner. Unlike in the states, restaurants just don’t bring out water for you. They tend to bring out bottled water, and after walking around Amsterdam all day, finishing off one of those babies happens fast…as does racking up a huge bill. Unless you really have a problem drinking tap water, order it. Not only will it save you money, but it will be cold. Most restaurants will serve you room temperature bottled water, but if you want something icy cold … tap water is the only way you’ll get those extra ice cubes. Free, cold water? No complaints there!

Transportation made easy: With an abundance of train services, ferry boats, and cheap flights (EasyJet and Ryan Air – however, beware of extra fees), traveling from one country to the next is affordable and a must for any European experience. If you shop around for the best deals, you can save lots of money hopping from Belgium to France in one weekend. Although taking the train may seem foreign (trains are rarely utilized in the USA as a form of fast, easy transportation), it is the best way to see Europe. Really, how can you complain when you’re on your way to Paris for the weekend with countryside outside your window?

Hold the Anchovies: I ordered a ceasar salad expecting just you’re standard plate of lettuce and ceasar sauce, but instead, I got a plate full of anchovies (complete with their eyeballs still intact) and a mayo sauce. Make sure when ordering at a restaurant you are as specific as can be or else you may be surprised. Also, if you like your meat cooked a certain way, tell your waiter or else you’re “well done” steak may come out bloody and pink. However, if you can get past some food differences, indulge yourself in as much cultural foods as possible, i.e. when in France, live off of croissants and macaroons!

See the sights: While a lot of my study abroad group got wasted every night, a good amount chose to see the sights. You are abroad, so why are you blacked out outside of Big Ben? A big mistake that a lot of abroaders make is mixing culture with fun – they think they can’t. You paid a lot of money to go abroad, so it is important to see everything that you can. No one wants to come back from Europe to say “I skipped out on the Mona Lisa because I was hung over” or “I couldn’t climb to the top of St. Paul’s Cathedral because I was puking in a pub instead.” Party and have a great time, but prioritize what you are going to see. If you can schedule your days ahead, you can save a lot of time for partying and pub crawls later.

Be a local: Instead of eating at restaurants you are familiar with or sticking to simple tourist destinations, expand your travels and pretend you are a local. Ask opinions of the receptionist at your hostel of where to eat. Find out what shopping areas aren’t as famous and go see what you can dig up there. Try new foods and drink. For example, you can’t leave London without at least trying their fish and chips once. Don’t just stick to the same old path everyone else is, explore the beaten path and you will have a much more rewarding experience of culture and understanding of the area along the way.

Happy Traveling!

Despite the end of the year being one of the busiest times, it is important to think about giving to others and taking time to make a help those in need. Here is a list of easy and simple ways to get involved in making a difference this season:

Adopt an Angel, Be a Santa
Consider adopting a needy person for the holiday season. Giving Trees are everywhere right now (from your local Wal-Mart to your mall’s JCPenney, and many colleges have them up in their common areas) allowing you to choose the name of a person in need and help them out. You don’t even need a lot of money to do it! Every name comes with a list of wants; you can purchase just one thing off of that list (usually something simple like shampoo or groceries), or gather a bunch of friends to go all out. Your $10 purchase will really make someone’s Christmas.

Ring The Bell
You know those red kettles outside of grocery stores and on nearly every street corner in big cities, often accompanied by a Santa ringing a hand-bell? They are sponsored by the Salvation Army and have been around since 1891, providing homeless and needy with nice sit-down meals for Thanksgiving and Christmas. When walking out of the mall this holiday season, drop some of your spare change into those kettles, because any amount of change will be put to towards hot holiday meals for those in need.

Give an Unwrapped Toy
Toys for Tots simply asks for a donation of an unwrapped toy. This program, sponsored by the United States Marines, has been around since 1947, and all it calls for is you to drop off an unwrapped gift at any of its toy collecting sights. Need to find a donation spot? Click here!

Get Bakin’
Are you good at making gingerbread houses or baking cookies? Put your domestic skills to good use and make a local nursing home a batch of your favorite cookies or drop off a gingerbread house. Since the holiday season is often considered to be a time for presents, children are often the main focus – but it is important to not leave anyone out. Many elderly living in nursing homes are left by their families during the holiday season, and dropping off something to brighten their day would mean a lot. Contact your local area nursing homes and assisted living centers to see how you can help.

Drive Yourself Crazy
Your college is probably having some kind of drive.  In fact, if your college is like mine, you probably have two or three drives going on at once, so pick one drive that you most want to participate in and go all out. Get together with your friends for a stitch n’ bitch and knit the night away – someone out there could really use a homemade scarf. Not into knitting? Go collect cans with your best friends. Pick a neighborhood and politely go from door to door asking if there are any spare cans the family would like to donate this holiday season. Many people will be glad you stopped by, because through your good deed, they will feel like they did something good themselves! Don’t have time to participate? Donate an hour of your time to help sort all the collected items from whatever drive you want. The club or organization will greatly appreciate the help, too.

Eat-Out
As the holidays approach and the semester comes to a close, how many end-of-the-semester Christmas get-togethers are you going to have? You’re going to need a reservation for that big group of friends, and booking through Open Table is the best way to do that.  Open Table has pledged a full meal to domestic hunger-relief organizations (such as America’s Second Harvest) for every dining reservation made through the website. With nearly 49.1 million Americans living in food insecure households (meaning the availability of food and access to it) in 2008, just your reservation alone can provide someone a meal. To make reservations with Open Table, click here!

Give the Gift of Activism
Not sure what to get a friend, but know they are passionate about something? Consider making a donation in their name. For example, my sister is studying abroad in South Africa for the next year and she is particularly moved by the townships outside of Capetown, so I am making a donation in her name to an organization that provides South African township children with the opportunity to go to college (These Numbers Have Faces). Is your friend really heated over the Health Care reform and Stupack amendment issue? Maybe you can donate some money to Planned Parenthood to keep fighting the good fight. Wish you had time throughout the year to work in an animal shelter but don’t? Send $20 into the ASPCA!

Want more information or other ways to get involved, check out these websites:
Feeding America
The Salvation Army
Goodwill
Toys for Tots
List of Nonprofit Organizations
Volunteer Match

I'm gonna be bald by the time I graduate.

Ok, I know it’s only the middle of the semester – the hump of the term – but I can’t lie … senior year is brutally kicking my ass. As I keep referring to my day-minder to see what is due next or what I need to worry about in the near future (For example, the GRE), I can’t help but think back to sweeter, less busier times such as my first year in college – which I swear feels like it just happened yesterday.

Seniors, doesn’t it feel like just last week were filling out college applications, picking where we would attend, and nervously packing up our rooms and moving into our dorm room for the first time? The last three years have flown by, and this year is no different, except instead of saying to yourself “I have ___ many years left” you hear the fast-paced ticking of the clock letting you know your time is dwindling.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Well, if you’re like me, you are hearing more than the ticking of the graduation clock.

Instead, you are hearing the voice of your professor asking you to revise your essay on Plato and Aristotle; all your friends talking about graduate, professional, and law school applications; the text from Kaplan prep-test books screaming at you off the page (it usually yells: YOU SHOULD HAVE STARTED STUDYING YEARS AGO); fellow majors asking you about your honors thesis and the advisor you are working with; your parents inquiring with “What’s next?” after graduation- and of course – in the midst of all this – you hear your own thoughts of: “Am I having a quarter-life crisis?” and “Why is it a Friday night and instead of dancing to Britney Spears across some dirty frat-basement floor am I reading about the importance of family in children’s literature?”

But perhaps, through all the insanity of senior year and its overflow of required responsibility, the most important voice you hear is the one in the back of your head asking after every turn of the page: Is it winter break yet?

Seriously, I’ve never needed it so badly in my life. And as much as it pains me to know it’s yet another sign that my college career is coming to an end, I really. need. an effing. break.

Yeah she's cute, but could you handle all the responsibility?

Occasionally on college campuses you will spot a student walkin’ a pooch, but those incidents are few and far between. Since college is mostly about studying hard and partying along the way, most students don’t want the responsibility of caring for someone other than themselves – especially a four legged friend. That will poop in their shoes.

My boyfriend recently adopted a mutt from the local pound. He knew he could give her (Shyla) a good home with his off-campus house, and since then the two of them have been on adventure. While part of the time (OK – most of the time) the antics brought on by Shyla seem like they were written straight out of Marley and Me, it is hard to deny the cute, active sweetness of an eighteen week puppy playing fetch and snuggling up next to your feet.

Just as anyone who has ever had a dog knows, pups are all-encompassing hard work. There is the whole process of getting the dog acclimated to living in a house: potty-training, keeping them out of the trash, getting them used to walking on a leash… Honestly, getting a dog to “sit” isn’t as easy as it seems, so patience and a little bit of loving care is important too.

Oh, and if house-breaking a puppy isn’t enough, there is also the importance of grooming and professional pet care. You thought getting a manicure and pedicure at the local nail salon was expensive, try $15 for a dog groomer to just cut your pet’s nails. When you’re not grooming your dog, it is crucial to its health (especially as a puppy) to have regular vet visits – costing up to $100 or more at a time. Having a dog takes a lot of focus away from yourself, which means a lot less money for the seasonal (or daily) shopping tips.

But even though it is expensive and trying at times, having a dog can be a rewarding experience. Yeah, even if it leaves a little puddle by your bed.

Not sure if a dog is for you, at least while you’re in college? Let’s weigh the pros and cons.

Good: You have a bed buddy every night, and you know for sure they don’t have STDs or Swine Flu! And they won’t sneak out before you get up in the morning and be there when you get u,p providing you undivided attention with a wagging tail.
Bad: That Tommy Hilfiger comforter you just bought is going to smell like dog, and if you don’t keep Fido’s nails short enough, it might suffer a rip and tear.

Good: You always have something to look forward to at home. Imagine having a crappy day on campus and coming home to a precious puppy excited to see you.
Bad: Dogs shouldn’t be left alone for more than four hours a time, so you will need to prioritize your schedule and social life around taking care of your new-found responsibility.

Good: Having a dog will make you more active. You will be going on more walks and once you get your little friend outside, it will be hard to bring them in, making you want to stay out as well. You can keep yourself more in-shape this way!
Bad: Dogs can be too active sometimes, forcing you to constantly watch them. If they have a lot of pent up energy, they may get into things around the house. For example, Shyla likes to explore the house and with her extra puppy energy, it means she gets into everything she can, whether it is my boyfriend’s economics homework or the bathroom’s endless stash of toilet paper.

Good: Dogs make great introductions in a social setting. In a sorority? Bring your puppy with you for a low-key function. Everyone will dote over how cute your dog is, and you can play the proud, happy dog-loving parent as she gets passed around.
Bad: Taking a dog to a public function could cause problems. Some people aren’t dog-friendly, and others don’t take having a dog seriously. Think about it: How many frat boys are going to try to give your dog beer?

The bottom line is that dogs are a huge responsibility; in fact, they are a life-time commitment. Do you think you could handle one in college?

A narrative about four friends at Smith College, an all women’s college in Massachusetts (famous alumnae include Gloria Steinem, Julia Child, Sylvia Plath, Betty Friedan…just to name a few), Sullivan captures the essence of what it means to make friends in the richest sense of the word, while chronicling life on campus and post-graduation adulthood.

Each character is truly distinct, making the novel easy to identify with. Think the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, except more adult. Sally, Celia, Bree, and April are four very different women, but their individuality weaves together beautifully, showing that sisterhood looks past Sally’s love for Lily Pulitzer, Celia’s conservative-yet-wild side, Bree’s Southern Belle charm, and April’s radical feminism to form a life-long bond, even if the girls couldn’t be more uncommon from each other.

Sullivan, alumnae of Smith herself, paints the all women’s atmosphere just as it should be, a unique and tradition-filled roller coaster of emotions. Giving an accurate glimpse of what it means to be a young woman at a college without men, Sullivan does not degrade Smith or the single-sex setting, but instead lifts it up and showcases it in a light that most do not see when they hear “all women.”

Honest and captivating, Commencement tackles the strength it takes to maintain a friendship, especially once Sally, Celia, Bree, and April are on their own as adults. Not sugarcoating the hardships of rape, first loves, untraditional ideals, and fighting for what you believe in, Sullivan doesn’t leave anything out (seriously, topics from marriage to sex-trafficking appear) – showing how hard it can be to grow up, and how hard it can be for young women today.

With rave reviews from everyone from Gloria Steinem to People magazine, and to Entertainment Weekly, Sullivan’s first novel hit home and gave her a place in popular writing today. Whether you are in college now or on your own post-grad, this novel will tug at your heart strings with memories of your own experience and undoubtedly, you will find yourself in the pages of this page turner.

Although I have fallen in love with Lush’s unique products and packaging, it is the company’s goals and mission that keeps me coming back (and spending the extra cash).

They make it their business to use fresh ingredients, make the products by hand (how many places actually do this anymore?), not partake in animal testing, and protect the planet by making the products ‘green’ or vegetarian/vegan friendly. With minimal preservatives in their products, I have truly been refreshed by the products I have tried and I believe that using fresh products like seaweed and avocados has made a difference in the way these bath bombs and gels work.

Buying cosmetics is important to every girl, but in the current state of the economy, spending money on lavish products may seem silly. However, with a company promising to help the environment and its customers with the freshest and hand-made products, dishing out the extra few bucks is worth it… especially when it comes to these guys:

Shampoo Bars: This is probably my all-time favorite beauty invention. Instead of traditional liquid shampoos, these bars come in a circular form and all you have to do is lather the bar in between your hands and then apply it to your hair. Want direct contact? Just rub it on your scalp, and prepare for the suds to take over. Although each bar is 1.9 oz for $9.45 (a little steep, especially in this economy), I promise that they last over and over again (if you follow directions and don’t keep them submerged in water). According to Lush, these bars last “for around 80 washes, saving three plastic bottles along the way.”

My personal favorite is Karma Komba, which is supposed to help prevent tangles, but other bars work for other reasons like the Soak and Float which protects against dandruff and the Hard Solid Shampoo which is made for those that live in “hard water areas.” If you have to try one Lush product, I would recommend this more than anything else. Not into the bars? Lush also has liquid shampoos and conditioners available.

Bath Bombs: Lush is probably best known for its bath bombs, which come in two sizes (big and bigger). For example, there is the Big Blue bath bomb (6.3 oz) and the Big Big Blue bath bomb (28.2 oz). Either size is perfect to cut and divide up into a few baths, no need to use the whole bomb all at once. Once these amazing balls hit the water, your bath will explode into a sizzle of fizz and scent. Colorful and creative, each bomb has its own personality. With the Big Blue bath bomb, seaweed makes its way out of the ball and turns your bath into an instant ocean, while the Supernova bath bomb turns your bath into a party, complete with confetti.

Lush has a variety of bath bombs, so finding one that fits your mood or personality will be no problem. Unlike other bath bombs, Lush has a scent that will linger and stay long after the water is down the drain, and it will leave your skin feeling silky smooth beyond comparison to other similar products. Although these innovative bath time products make a dip in the tub extra fun, the only downside is that the seaweed, confetti, or other special ingredient may clog the drain.

Buttercreams: According to the Lush website, “Buttercreams are a luxurious blend of 15% soap – enough to get you clean but not make masses of lather – and 85% natural, skin-softening butters, glycerine, plant infusions and essential oils.” Although buttercreams can be used in the shower or the bath, it is best to use them cold. Put them in the fridge or the freezer and before getting in the shower or bath, cut a small chunk off and prepare yourself to be pampered. My only qualm with the buttercreams is that the scents like Heavenly Bodies, which is aimed at chocolate lovers, or Ring of Roses, which is covered in rose petals, doesn’t stay and the creamy, softness promised rubs off fast.

And these products are just a few of the extensive Lush product line. Want the most unforgettable bath that will actually keep its bubbles and scent an hour into it? Go for a Bubble Bar. Sick of the same old perfume? Try one of the company’s solid perfumes, which come in lip balm type pots. Guys, want to plan a special evening for your girlfriend? Get a massage bar and give her the spa treatment yourself. From body lotions to shaving creams to solid soaps, there is something for everybody. And with vibrant colors and clever names, shopping at Lush (whether in one of its stores or online)  will be a unique cosmetics shopping experience.

Move over Bath and Body Works, Lush is definitely here to stay!

Ah, interruptions during sex.

Everyone hates it, but in college, it seems unavoidable.  Maybe college students just don’t have the decorum to realize that if the door is shut, locked, and the person inside is yelling and pleading for you to go away, you should just walk away. Or perhaps since most college students are used to sharing everything from computer labs to showers, they think trying to walk in on their roommates sexy time is a-ok.

Seriously, whenever my boyfriend and I are trying to have some alone time, one of his three idiot roommates ruins the moment. It is usually like clockwork. If one of them isn’t sliding pennies under the door (yes, this happens. It’s strange, I know) to get my boyfriend’s attention, it is his annoyingly pompous roommate knocking to “inquire” about a bill. Oh, and my personal favorite is when they need to borrow my boyfriend’s stapler. It’s 1am on a Saturday, why the hell do you need a stapler?

If we wanted them to join, I’m sure we would leave the door open. But we don’t. And I don’t get it. If we just said goodnight twenty minutes ago, why are you sliding pennies under the door? What is it that makes people so oblivious to the need of alone time with a significant other? Maybe human beings secretly enjoy ruining the moment for someone; a little satisfaction knowing that a simple interruption can make a couple lose the desire for the moment. Or maybe that need for the stapler really is that imperative.

We’ve tried everything: Post-it notes that read “Do not disturb,” even a hammer on the door signifying that “hammer time” (as one of his roommates calls it) is happening. Seriously, what more can you do when you’re duct-taping a hammer to the door in hopes that you will be left alone for a couple hours?

I’ve heard that some people just leave the door unlocked and open, in hopes that the noises and the action going on will defer any interrupters, but does it have to be that extreme to have some intimacy in college? It seems like getting rid of privacy is the only way to get rid of the incorrigible intruders, but since sex is something that should be private it seems like the boundaries are truly being crossed.

Those times when interruptions don’t happen, well … those are times to be relished, but they really are few and far in between.

I know I’m not the only one with knocks coming from the other side of the door. So, what is the most awkward or persistent sexual interruption you have experienced? And what is the best way to stop the nonsense behind the door?

Feminist blogger (Feministing) and author of Full Frontal Feminism and He’s A Stud, She’s A Slut and 49 Other Double Standards Every Women Should Know, Jessica Valenti’s latest book The Purity Myth tackles the issue of “how America’s obsession with virginity is hurting young women.”

And it truly is.

Let’s get real. Regardless if you believe in saving sex for marriage or not, it is very alarming in a disparaging way to see girls only being granted value or worth for staying sexually pure instead of for their character. Why should sexuality (in the sense of remaining abstinent) be highly coveted over a teen girl’s qualities or accomplishments that make her unique? In a society that continues to worship abstinence (with virginity programs across the nation and federally funded purity balls), Valenti points out that while virginity is acceptable, having sex is also okay because at the end of the day, a young woman’s choice should not decide her existence as being morally up to standard or not.

From the get-go in The Purity Myth, Valenti confronts the definition of “virginity” and how for such an abstract idea, the concept controls and impacts girl culture today immeasurably: “The Purity Myth is for women who are suffering every day because of the lie that virginity exists, and that is has some bearing on who we are and how good we are.”

By exploring different aspects that impact and damage the concepts of sexuality and purity for young women, Valenti shows that issues such as pornography, abstinence-only education, and the obsession with keeping young girls ‘innocent’ are relative to girl culture and the development of young women having healthy sexual perspectives. For example, when the messages of pop culture tell girls they need to be sexy and desirable, Valenti points out that those images often exhibited do not correlate with the lessons girls are getting from programs that promote abstinence-only education. In The Purity Myth, Valenti shows that the Madonna/whore dichotomy is never-ending, all at the expense of young women.

While I believe that abstinence is a personal decision both men and women need to make, I do believe that America’s expectations of how women should be pure is ultimately hurting girl-culture. I see guys in college hooking-up without ever thinking for a second about the consequences that come from their choices, but I see girls struggling with the role of being a good girl vs. the fraternity ‘slut’, constantly. Girls in high school battle with the idea of losing their virginity to their high school sweetheart, while the majority of guys just look out to make sure they aren’t the last of their friends to cash in their v-card. Why is sexuality an ongoing struggle for young women, but not their male peers?

Although America’s obsession with sexuality continues to grow and hurt young girls, it doesn’t seem to touch masculinity in the way that it does femininity. Remember the anecdote about how the girls in my health class had to sign promise cards to remain pure till marriage? The boys in my 7^th grade class did not have to sign them. How is it acceptable or even fair to ask girls to remain pure while not asking the same of boys?

With The Purity Myth fighting to give young women value and worth beyond their sexual experience and the importance that society puts upon whether or not their hymen is intact, Valenti really hits the bottom line by showing that value does exist within young women and it’s time to start progressively moving forward to celebrate young girls and the characteristics that make them important, instead of focusing on sexuality which only seems to hold women back.

The Purity Myth is a must-read because it will not only change the way young women understand the sexualization put upon them, but it will also it will help all of us proactively empower ourselves in terms of our own sexuality.

They say April showers bring May flowers – so while we’re waiting for those flowers to bloom and for summer to mosey its long lazy days our way, why not have some rainy springtime fun? I know it sucks when it rains and you have to trek across campus with fingers crossed that your hair won’t frizz, but with these latest styles, at least you can put a little spring in your step.

Umbrella(ella ella)s:
First and foremost, umbrellas are a necessity in the rain. They may seem like a hassle to carry around, but with different styles ranging from purse size to Mary-Poppin’s-sized umbrellas, there is no need to get wet.

Looking for something standard? Try Raindrops for all your practical umbrella needs – this website even has umbrella’s for animals! Need something compact? Try Fred Flare’s adorable Rain Parade Mini Umbrellas. Into something a little more sophisticated and sleek? Umbrella’s & Beyond has an assortment of “Leighton” style umbrellas featuring classic colors such as Tiffany blue and a beautiful green Kyoto, as seen below.

Raincoats:
Want to stay extra dry? Get a raincoat. Trench coats are the usual go-to coat when it comes to rain, but they can look dowdy. Good news! Newer styles are getting rid of the length while keeping the coverage.

Check out Nordstrom’s Short Trench Coat for this less bulky look. If you don’t mind a little extra length to help protect from the rain, go for the Michael Kors Notched Collar Trench, which comes in four colors: black, British khaki, palm (a green), and red. Nothing says spring and summer like this palm colored coat:

Want something a little cheaper for the season? The Gap currently has spring appropriate pastel colored trenches on sale, which can be tied off with the jacket’s own belt or a ribbon for some added fabulosity.

Rain boots:
My favorite rainy day accessory always ends up being my rain boots. Whether they come from Target (who can beat Target’s $24 rain boots that come in a slew of colors, patterns, and types?) or JCrew, these boots serve the purpose of keeping your pants away from the water and your feet dry. These rain boots, also known as Wellies, can change any drab rainy day into something fun. Especially considering all those puddles you can jump into without getting soggy socks.

Want a unique pair of Wellies to reflect your personal styyyyle? Definitely check out Wellie Art; they have boots ranging from pink polka dots to white stars, giving your rainy day an immediate boost.

All this rainy day style finally makes me want to go singin’ in the rain.
And staying try, to boot.