Here's what $8,000,000 will get you in Florida.
There's been a growing trend in the vag-o-sphere. And it's all about making your lady parts look pretty and shiny and....bedazzled?! Yes. Bedazzled.
Hey girl, how's it going? Haven't seen you in a while. I know we've both started the whole "we're too old to be dancing on tables and taking body shots" thing, but I was thinking about the good ol' days and was hoping you'd reminisce with me.
As most of you know, I'm kind of a pro when it comes to dating (online, offline, coffee shop...you name it, I've been there and most likely done it).
I never knew what I was missing in life until I found you. The ease in which I can search for things, write scholarly articles, and watch reality TV amazes me.
I bought a day-by-day calendar all about being assertive and basically saying "No, thank you" more (but without the 'thank you' part). And by "assertive," I mean it's filled with hysterical quotes about how it's okay to be super-bitchy, because we all have those day/moments/weeks/lifetimes...when we need to insert an extra NO! into one thing or another.
As a New Englander you would think I would be one of the many supporters of winter. After all, I used to figure skate and bring my inner tube to the Seven Hills, but somewhere (I blame junior year of college; not sure why) I turned. Maybe it was when I fell in love with all the wonderful things summer had to offer, maybe it was when winter started taking over half of the year.
Jan 23, 2012
I know a thing or two about snuggling, mostly learned from John Stamos...but I digress. There is nothing more complimentary to a good snuggle then a great movie. So here are some movies that will have you jonesin' for another snow storm...
Jan 16, 2012
As someone with a strong addiction to anything hot and caffeinated (*cough* Ryan Gosling sipping coffee in his château *cough*), I'm positive I have found the best combination of drinks to not only warm your hands, toes...all extremities, but also one that will make you feel cozy inside.
Jan 9, 2012
Yeah, we've all been there. And we all know resolutions last about three weeks in. It's not your fault, it's hard to stick to change...especially a lot of drastic changes. So, to put you on the path to resolution success here are ten ideas that will not only guarantee a positive outcome, but also make you feel a tad better about yourself. Plus, who can say that they actually followed through with their New Year's Resolution?
While we're looking back at all the wonderful moments (and the not so wonderful ones, i.e. that time you threw up in your new boyfriend's bed) here are a few articles that made my year just a smidgen better. I know for a fact after reading them you'll feel ten thousand times better about all of your not-so-great moments of 2011.
I love giving presents. I love the face people make when opening up the specifically picked gift, hearing the sounds of the wrapping paper tearing. I love the hugs and thank yous, the 'Oh my god! You totally shouldn't have (but I'm secretly really really glad you did)'s. However, I hate the process you need to take to get there.
As a December baby (December 28th to be exact, yes I do now expect you to send me lots of presents) you would think I would be a fan of snow, or at least of winter. But I am not, and I will tell you why.
I'm not sure if I mentioned it before, but I'm currently a nanny to an adorable (when sleeping) four-month old baby boy. Before taking this job, two and half months ago, I thought I wanted kids. I now realize I do not want kids, at least not for a really really (huge emphasis on really here) long time.
Oh reality TV, how you have gotten me through many a rough patch in my life, many a break up, many a late night binge fest...really any low point in my life. I've been with you since the first Real World appeared on MTV, to the horrible escapades of a young Jessica Simpson, I've seen it all.
The food, the family, the parade, the mark of the beginning of Christmas...really what more could anyone ask for? But with all of these amazing things around us (and the promise of half-price shoes the next day) we sometimes forget what Thanksgiving is all about.
I am fully aware that Christmas isn't for another 4,394,668 seconds, but since every other store in the world is getting ready I figured I should start to compile my wish list. You know, in case anyone wants to buy me something other than socks. Grandma, I'm looking at you!
When I was 10 I used to lock myself in my room and play Barbie for hours. Sometimes it ended in drastic haircuts, other times marriages, but usually with someone's head being popped off. Although I had a lot of respect for a girl who could rock one of my many failed attempts at an early "Rachel," I had to admit I was a little jealous.
As mentioned in previous posts, I love Halloween and everything about it. From being scared straight, to mocking the horrible fake blood in haunted houses, it's the most magical time of the year. Plus, it's the one time of year I can watch Halloweentown multiple times a day (which is exactly what I plan on doing today...judgement free zone).
I know you are probably sick of CollegeCandy writers telling you to hop on the self lovin' train (not in the masturbation sense), but I'm having a week of self-hate, so you're just going to have to grin and bear one more person telling you that you are awesome. Think you can deal?
My original plan, for this year, was to be Ruth from "Hey Arnold." It fits my obscure rule: The more times I can scoff and say "What, you don't know who I am?" the better. And when I find someone who does know who I am...well, we become best friends for the night. Then I found a pretty dress so I'm being a fairy...I know. So as inspiration for the rest of you go-all-outters for Halloween here are my ten favorite dorky-hipster-internet themed costumes.
Needless to say there are very few things I wouldn't be willing to part with in order to get back the comfy dorm room living I've grown accustomed too. So here are some things you should be thankful for having while living away from home...
It's the time during school when the coughs starts, the sniffles rule the class room, and sweatpants seem to be in short supply at the book store. With changing seasons often comes the first cold of the semester. This is the one time living at home has its benefit, and where living in the dorms makes you a sitting duck for disease.
Thank god it's fall TV time, I was beyond done with summer reruns and all of those teasers they kept throwing at us. I think we can all breathe a collective sigh of relief that Snookie is back in our lives.
I should be rejoicing that the 80 degree days are extending past labor day. Instead I'm left wishing the leaves would start changing, hoping that my pants can move back to the front of my closet, and even wearing sweaters to try to force the hot weather out. Maybe it's the overload of pumpkin spice lattes (my new legal drug addiction) but I am lusting after fall this year.
I have always been a fan of any quick fix diet plan. If there was a pill that would melt away pounds within a day, I would be first in line to buy it. So when I was perusing the web one day and happened upon the Slim Fast website, I saw an opportunity and ran with it. After all it has 'fast' and 'slim' in the name, so how bad could it be?
The crisp air is beginning to settle, leaves are changing, and small children every where are begging for one more day of summer. Yes, dear readers, it's time for school.Which means one thing, well a couple but one main thing, back to school shopping! And I'm not talking about a clothing binge at Forever 21, I'm talking school supplies.
Sure weddings are fun to go to, and seeing people who are happily in love is great. But the whole publicly tying yourself to another person for the rest of your life, that's the part I'm all set without.
Working from home is a learning experience. Some people thrive in it, they learn how to be productive without having a boss tell them every little step. A very important trait to have in today's workforce. But some people, like myself, are workaholics...and should never be allowed to work from home.
I'm not sure if it's just this time of year, or if it's because I'm about to end one job (which pays my bills), but lately I just feel like I'm constantly drowning. You know, that feeling where you're just stuck underwater and you can't get up no matter how hard you try...so you just keep sinking. Taking on more things to bide the time, but in reality wishing you had less on your plate.
Let me start off by saying I don't ever plan on becoming famous. I don't even want to be famous. Enduring the public 24/7 is not my idea of fun. With that being said, there are some famous people I kind of would LOVE to be friends with. Also keep in mind some of these people I'm basing on either public appearances or characters they have played. I have no real connection to them.
I fully admit to watching things like the Jersey Shore, Bachelorette, and Big Brother..I also fully admit it's a problem. But every time I turn them on I'm reminded of two things 1. I really am completely normal and 2. there are a lot of stupid men out there...
It's that time of year again, summer internships are ending, soon-to-be freshman are crowding the lines at Bed Bath and Beyond and those of us not heading back to college are forced into finding a more permanent life option.
We mock them, trash talk them, tweet them and get sucked into their lame plot lines. Usually we tell our friends we only watch them as a joke, but secretly we live for that half hour or so when we get introduced to someone else's problems. Not only do we then feel better about ourselves after, but we had the pleasure of secretly (well pleasure might not be the right word) watching someone else's life.
At 9:55pm it happened, the moment you all waited for. The moment you held your breath for, trembling at the quakes from Ashley's mouth for. The reason why we all sit down together and watch one person date 20 other people. Ashley got engaged.
No one likes being broken up with. And few people, I'm sure, actually enjoy being the breaker upper. But regardless of the situation it has to happen, because as much as I would love to tell you that you will only date one person...it rarely happens. And as someone who as been on both ends, multiple times, I feel as though I can shed some light on creative ways to break up with your S.O.
Okay Ashley, I get it. You're ready to get married, start a new life ... and just now, are realizing that to do so the man you're going to marry should probably be interested in you. And another thing, enough with the feelings talk, I'm falling asleep faster than you were when Ryan went off on his water heater tangent.