I know Shakespeare says love is blind, but he never said anything about our best friends. What about their eyes? They can still see. If we had only been upfront with each other, there would have been no pain, no mistakes, no “WTF” relationships that in retrospect feel like a drunken dream, years lost and Friday nights ruined.

She works out 6 days a week. She avoids the dessert buffet in the cafeteria. Her favorite hobbies on Facebook include running, yoga and lunges (and do not include brownies, TV marathons or couch time). She has magazine subscriptions to Shape and Self and her bookshelf looks like one you’d see in Jillian Michaels’ home library. And you have no freaking clue what to get her for the holidays.

If a milkshake brings all of the boys to the yard, I know a way to keep them out. So far past the perimeters they’ve taken a three-mile long-cut just to avoid walking on your grass. What’s this guaranteed boy repellent? The un-relenting light of day.