But isn’t there a more convenient alternative to carry in your purse or backpack for easy access during less-than-stimulating class? Mornings are hectic as it is – picking out a cute and semi-clean outfit, making sure you grab the right books, and checking the mirror for any potential embarrassments – who has time to grab a coffee?

Luckily, a few capitalistic masterminds have exploited our caffeine addiction. No, I’m not talking about those fools over at Starbucks; that’s old news. Enter the world of caffeinated munchies. Red Bulls and Power Bars have nothing on these chemically-enhanced, caffeine-infused snacks.

We’ve all seen the caffeine gums, but, Dorothy, we’re not in Kansas anymore.

Today’s caffeine fiends can choose from lollipops, chocolates, cookies, jellybeans and more. Here’s a rundown of the best indulgences to get you wired without suffering the evil burnt tongue:

BuzzStrong’s Coffee Cookies

Guaranteed to satisfy your inner-cookie monster, these babies are made with Brazilian coffee, Tahitian vanilla, and Swiss dark and white chocolate chips. All natural and carrying 70 calories per cookie, four cookies are equivalent to a one-cup coffee buzz. A 7 0unce, 12-cookie box will only cost you $4.99, which is the eqivalent to a single Starbucks run.

Crackheads

A far better alternative to inviting in the local crackhead off the street (these guys smell better and provide a much better buzz), Crackheads are a great caffeinated snack. White and dark chocolate covered espresso beans? Yum! Each 1.3-ounce box has around 30 beans, for a grand total of 120 mg of caffeine. That will get you through that 8am lecture, fo sho.

Sport Beans

Boasting yummy flavors like lemon-lime, cherry, orange, berry blue, watermelon and fruit punch, these caffeine-free beans packs 25 grams of carbohydrates as well as electrolytes and vitamins B and C. If you truly want to step it up, a second line of “Extreme” Sports Beans carry 50 mg of caffeine a pack. For about a dollar a bag and 100 calories, these small one-ounce bags pack a powerful punch, which far outweighs the chemically after-taste.

Buzz Bites Chocolate Energy Chews

Satisfy your chocolate craving and grab an energy boost to boot. Each chocolate contains about the same amount of caffeine as a cup of coffee (100 mg!). At $3.99 for an eight-piece tin, this is the clear choice of self-confessed choco/caffeine-aholics.

Jolt Energy Gum

A spin off of Jolt Cola, you can choose between spearmint and peppermint. Toss two pieces in your mouth to feel the equivalent of an energy drink. This also happens to be super cheap ($2.49 for a 12 pack) and you’ll be able to find it in almost any convenience store.

Night Light Caffeinated Chai Mints

Not for caffeine junkies, but a good choice for those seeking a slight bump during midterms…or after a particularly long weekend. Caffeinated chai mints are only lightly caffeinated (1.5 mg per mint) and promise to ‘add a slight hint of alertness to your chai induced peace.’ Bonus: These mints come in super-cute brushed metal tins with the option to go online and design your own!

Javapops

Lollipops aren’t just for the little tykes anymore! These adult-only pops come in 5 java-brew flavors: French Vanilla, Chocolate Almond, Irish Crème, Cappuccino, and Chocolate Raspberry. A pack of ten oversized lolli’s (with 60 mg of caffeine in each one) will set you back $9.99.

Penguin Caffeinated Peppermints


Three of these bad boys are the equivalent to a high sugar, high calorie Coke. Allegedly ‘the original caffeinated mint’, they’re sugar free and their caffeine infused offerings include peppermint, cinnamon and chocolate. For an all-natural buzz, try the Kola or Citrus varieties, both with guarana and ginseng. A $2.99 tin contains 25 mints.

Engobi Cinnamon Surge Energy Go Bites


Love Taco Bell Cinnamon Twists? Wish they would wake you up (instead of making you feel like a fattie)? Your prayers have been answered. These cinnamon sugar puffs contain 140 mg of caffeine in a pack and their taste alone blows the other caffeinated cravings out of the water. Well, that and the promise on the package: “To get wired. I mean really wired.”

Oh, yeah, and the academic part – that’s why you’re technically there in the first place, right?

With all the constant chaos surrounding your collegiate career, it can be tough to focus on academics and classes. But getting good grades and succeeding academically is paramount; aside from just keeping a high GPA to satisfy your own standards, it’s essential for financial aid, keeping the parents at bay, and most of all, building a future career that excludes slinging fast food. Here are some tips to ensure A’s.

Be organized

Being organized is possibly the most crucial thing you can do to boost your grades and buy yourself some precious sanity. Pick up a cute little planner and make it your bible. Unless you’re heading to a bar or a frat party, don’t leave home without it. Mark all significant dates on your calendar, like exams and review sessions. Take a few minutes each week (c’mon, pull your self away from Facebook for five minutes, mama) to review the week ahead. Block off sections of time in advance for studying. Mark in your flurry of social commitments as well so you can manage your time. Make to-do lists daily, and rely on them to structure your days. Keep your oh-so-sexy notebooks and binders sectioned off for your different courses, and use folders to organize all your handouts and readings. A three-hole punch can be a wise investment- less than the cost of a pedi- and slide your review sheets, past tests and course outlines alongside your notes. For super-geeky organization, try color-coding things on your calendar.

Nix the study dates

While studying with your clan can be amusing, it most likely evolves into a gossip session or a beer run. Study on your own, and find a quiet and peaceful place to call home. Scope out a hidden nook in the back of a library and make it your designated study spot.

Allocate your time wisely

Make your time count. Figure out just how much time you can spend socializing, studying and doing other necessary activities, like showering and eating. Be realistic about your time, and allocate your time wisely. Although going with the flow is optimal for a Cali surfer beach bum, it’s not an ideal attitude for a college student.

Network in classes

Be a little Suzy Sunshine and make friends in all of your classes. Exchange digits with a few select reliable pals in each class. It’ll come in handy when you have a question about an upcoming test or need to borrow notes after oversleeping.

Don’t rely on cramming

While cramming is necessary in a pinch, don’t rely on it. Try to study gradually- for an hour or two each day. Its way easier and more effective than a 14-hour caffeine induced all-nighter before your big Poli-Sci exam.

Know when to say no

While you’ll be tempted to accept every invite for shared pizzas, bar crawls and quirky costume parties know your limits and know when to say no. It’s fine to go out for drinks on a Friday night, but heading to a friend’s dorm for cocktails at midnight when you have an 8 am presentation isn’t such a Einstein-esque idea.

Take advantage

Study centers, tutoring programs and centers for academic success are there to help. Take advantage of them! Suck up their knowledge and assistance. These places can help you study, explain a confusing mathematical concept or prepare you for a test.

Get off on the right foot

Implement good study habits from the start. Don’t keep procrastinating and shrugging off deadlines. Its way harder to come out of a slump than it is to maintain positive study habits consistently.

Take note

Take notes. It sounds simple, but many of us become lazy and end up borrowing someone else’s notes. But taking your own notes serves a multitude of purposes. When you take your own notes, you’re actually going to retain more, since you heard the information, interpreted it and physically transcribed it. While stealing notes from someone else seems easier, it can be confusing or downright impossible to read someone else’s handwriting or follow their flow of chosen key words. Plus, taking your own notes keeps you alert and concentrated on what the instructor is saying, instead of daydreaming about the dark-haired hottie three seats up.

Get artsy

Don’t just jot down all the important topics outlined in a lecture – draw graphs, tables, stick figures, landscapes, whatever helps you understand and remember important info. Using arrows, stars and bullets will only enhance and help the data to ‘stick’.

Be religious about the course outline

Course outlines are the key to acing a class. Don’t just toss it to the bottom of your oversized hobo bag – read it several times and keep it with it’s corresponding class binder or notebook. Acing a class is not rocket science – it’s carefully laid out in the class outline. Figure out what percentages of your grade are composed by tests, papers, participation and so forth. Get a feel for the structure and flow of the course so there are no surprises.

Be a test-taking pro

Don’t just show up on test day with your perfectly manicured fingers crossed. Take practice tests, learn process of elimination and take a campus seminar on test taking. If you suffer from test anxiety, don’t just shrug it off as a case of nerves – try some relaxation methods like breathing and meditation to clear your head.

Study at your peak times

Study according to your strengths and peak times. If you’re a night owl whose brain doesn’t start fully functioning until after 10 PM, make sure you’re scheduling your study times for then. If you’re a super-chipper early riser whose mind is clear in the early AM hours, pencil in your course work for the pre-sunrise hours.

Participate

Participate in class discussions. Don’t just sit slouched in class, oblivious to the world while texting suggestively with your new crush. Participate and make your voice heard. Not only will your professor dig you, but you will actually learn more from interacting and listening to the ideas of others.

Choose your seat wisely

Sitting up front is not just for smarmy kiss-asses, and over-eager suck-ups. Sitting up front helps you learn better, period. Sure, you won’t be able to catch a mid-afternoon nap, but it sends the message that your are motivated, mature and not trying to skate by with minimal effort.

Know your learning style

Our brains are all wonderfully, weirdly different. Some people retain best by writing important study phrases repeatedly, others learn by recording it on a tape and hearing it over and over, and some get knowledge to stick with visual cues like graphs, diagrams and flash cards. Determine your best retention method to maximize your study time.

Bust your ass academically, and the rewards will follow. Although it sounds like the corny chanting of your high school guidance counselor, you must apply yourself. While snagging the title of college dropout won’t impress the masses, grabbing honors roll recognition will. And if you do it right, you will have plenty of time for the fun stuff too.

Too much time in the library makes for a very boring 4 years.

College cards are often a necessity (ranking right up there with tequila shots and coffee) during your four years, unless you have a big fat trust fund or a wealthy eccentric uncle. A multitude of costly expenses fall outside your tuition bill. Some are necessary, like food, books and transportation, while others are luxuries, like clothes, alcohol, trips and concerts. Here are some tips to avoid the debt trap that so many students fall into.

Compare offers

Be as choosy with what you put in your wallet as you are about which boys you let sleep in your bed (Editor’s Note: When alcohol isn’t involved). There are tons of credit card offers out there – don’t just take the first one you stumble upon.

Do your research: check out the finance charge, annual fee, cash advance fees and late payment fees. The finance charge can be as high as 25 percent on the unpaid part of your bill, and the annual fee can suck up a hundred bucks each year. For cash advances, most cards charge a scary amount and high interest. Read the fine print, and look at what a late payment can do to your rate (hint: just one late payment increases your interest rate). Try sites like credit.com or bankrate.com) to compare cards and score the best deal.

Screw the free-t-shirt

Forget the free-t-shirt/ water bottle/ random-crappy-thing-that-you’ll-never-use-again. Don’t apply just to score free gear. With every application, an inquiry is made into your credit history. This can pull down your credit quicker than a drunken frat guy drops his pants (or yours). Push through the crowd of over-eager credit card pushers – its okay to say no.

Timeliness is next to Godliness

The due date for payment is not a ‘suggestion’. Be religious about your payments and mark them in your planner, iCal, e-mail calendar or PDA. Use programs like Mint.com to keep all your spending and bills in one easy to access dashboard. Mint sends helpful reminders when bills are due and keeps track of your balances. Set up online payment for easy access, and do your best to make timely payments.

Do the math

If you’re spending $600 a month, and your income is damn near zero, you’re heading for debt disaster. Work out a budget and determine how much you can really afford to spend each month. Evaluate where your yet-to-be-earned dollars are actually going – is it beer, books or boots? Try and separate your needs from your wants: eating is a need, new going-out pants is not. Even cutting out one bar visit a month – I know, how very tragic – will bring down your bottom line. As boring as budgeting may be, it will help you understand where your money is going and where you need to cut back.

Look at the alternatives

If you’re spending like a wild woman, but not pulling in any actual income, its time to consider the alternatives. At the risk of sounding like your fiscally focused father, it might be time to get a job. If you’re not currently working, consider slinging plates of food at the local diner to fund your living expenses. (Please avoid the pole.) While you might have to defer to the plastic occasionally, a paycheck can take a big bite out of your monthly bill.

Be future-focused

Sure, skipping payments for a few months might not seem like a big deal now, but it will bite you in your metaphorical ass later. When you get out of school, virtually every potential employer will be eyeing your credit report right along with your resume. A shady credit history will turn off employers and prevent you from getting that dream job. Just like you want to woo that fine-looking boy with a swimmer’s build in your economics class, you should want to woo future employers as well. (And the benefits will last much longer than a hook-up with swimmer boy). To boot, applying for an apartment or financing a car will be hindered by your crappy credit – and who wants to live in a cardboard box under the freeway? These negative marks will stay on your credit report for a whopping seven years. So, you’ll be missing out on great opportunities long after you’ve worn out the soles on those Visa-funded gladiator sandals.

Two-thirds of college students have at least one credit card, and 55 percent of students received their first card during their freshman year of college, according the Institute for Higher Education. Of those college students with credit cards, 20 percent have four or more. While carrying a card can seem inevitable to get by during your four years, making irresponsible decisions and building hefty debt isn’t. Be smart and don’t make decisions you’ll regret later.

Bad credit stays with you a lot longer than a jagermeister hangover. And feels a whole lot worse.

What a miserable train wreck, composed of C-list talent, constantly creative combinations of four letter words, the overuse of prescription drugs, volumes of offensive mutterings and creepy Full House pedophilia jokes. Ah, but hell, it’s funny.It’s like a car wreck – you know you shouldn’t look, but you can’t help yourself. Comedy Central Roasts are always a hot mess – a crew of C-list pseudo-stars drinking heavily and tearing each other apart all the while dropping f-bombs and vulgar sexual references. Perhaps part of the allure lies in the chance to see offensive and inappropriate behavior in a societal sea of politeness.

Bob Saget, the highly irritating Danny Tanner and silly video voiceover dude we all grew up hating, was clearly a last-ditch choice after thousands of other actual celebrities turned down the chance to be roasted. The last poor sap to accept the offer was Flavor Flav- how can you top that kind of celebrity star power? Yes, I’m being sarcastic, but the pinnacle of comedy has to be Snoop Dogg referring to the little clock-wearing freak as a cracked out midget in a Viking helmet.

Pretty-boy John Stamos and the rest of the Full House cast were there, sans the Olsen Twins of course, who were the topic of many sexual/ eating disorder/ molestation/ pedophilia jokes. An aging Uncle Joey, Aunt Becky, DJ and Stephanie peppered the crowd with other random has-beens like the guy from Quantum Leap.

An uber-creepy and highly unfunny Norm McDonald bombed, reading his awful G-rated jokes from index cards while an array of confused audience members looked on. Eyesore Jeff Ross, savage-looking Brian Posehn, ear-splitting Gilbert Godfrey and older-than-water Cloris Leachman offered intermittent laughs while Saget looked on, laughing awkwardly and looking slightly confused.

Jeff Garlin and Jim Norton presented sets that were slightly amusing at best, while income-earning stars like Sarah Silverman, Lewis Black and Don Rickles ‘phoned it in’, offering brief, insulting, videotaped salutes to the tall creepy Saget. Greg Giraldo and Susie Essman (where do you find these people, and has anyone heard of them?) certainly cracked me up and Jon Lovitz always delivers. All in all, it’s low-brow, despicable and exploitational comedy at its brightest. Its offensive, politically incorrect and almost painful to watch, I’ll admit. Cringe-worthy, raunchy, oddly humorous and downright mean, its short-attention span theater for people that can’t help but laugh at the misfortune of others or strangers falling in public.

The three-day G8 summit in Japan, with a record 22 nations participating, ended yesterday, with too much fluffy, evasive and idealistic talk and not enough balls-to-the-wall action.

Much like a flighty boyfriend, the world leaders failed to commit. Although developing and developed nations alike agreed that “deep cuts” were needed, they never agreed on setting specific targets. I nstead, they concluded that the reduction in greenhouse gases should take place according to the means of each country. Vague much?

True, they did commit to halve global greenhouse gas emissions by 2050. But the leaders failed to agree on a base year with which to compare emission levels. In essence, they’re going to try to lower emissions levels — but with no tangible standards or base comparisons, this undefined action is a muddled exercise with good intentions. Some took this as evidence that big-boy polluters, aka China and India, were still not willing to commit themselves to internationally agreed cuts.

The Environmental Group WWF criticized the 2050 goal, citing the fact that many scientists say bigger cuts are needed to combat climate change. The nations also acknowledged that rising food and oil prices were an issue, but neglected to create any actionable means to help the problem. Awesome.

Our clueless leader, good ol’ GW, who was (fortunately!) attending his final G8 as US president said “(We had) a lot of meetings on important subjects, and we accomplished a lot.”

But someone clearly more than a few dozen IQ points above him, Greenpeace executive director John Sauven, saw it differently, “The G8 leaders have failed the world again. We needed tough targets for the richest countries to slash emissions in the next 100 months, but instead we got ambiguous long-term targets for the world in general.”

When the summit was held three years ago, the G8 promised to increase African aid by twenty five billion dollars a year by 2010. At present, the world’s richest nations are only 14% of the way towards hitting the target. Way to go, guys. They’re not living up to their own global poverty aid or African poverty aid goals. Could you imagine if you only lived up to 14% of what you promised your boss or professor?

Thomas Jefferson said, “Don’t talk about what you have done or what you are going to do.” More appropriately, Billy Madison said, “Just do it”. Leaders of the world, I beg of you: Please step it up. Cut the BS and commit.

The results surprised scientists, who had previously believed that happiness was stable when looking at societies over time. Bucking the conventional knowledge, happiness levels in forty countries “rose substantially.”

Denmark is the happiest nation, Zimbabwe the least, and the US was rated as the 16th happiest country. A similar survey released last week determined one reason America isn’t ranking higher on the list: Baby Boomers are generally miserable compared to other generations.

Is this true? Is our generation happier than our parents’ generation? Its probably true that our lives are busier as a result of being constantly connected through e-mail, blackberries, cell phones and social networks. I’ve often wondered if this adds or detracts from our general happiness — constant connectivity can be both a blessing and a curse.

As women, we certainly are afforded a collection of freedoms our mothers were denied. Our generation has seen increased educational and career opportunities, lessened social stigma of being single or a single mom and a rise in financial and social freedoms, just to name a few.

By my age, my mom was married with two babies and a mortgage. How times have changed! I’d like to think that my happiness level is higher than it would have been if I grew up in the sixties or seventies. True, I would have loved to hit up Woodstock or rocked a cute peace-sign studded shift dress, but these days I have a world of freedoms and options, unavailable to females my age just a few decades ago.

Whether its extensive travel or making our education or career the focus of our universe, we are truly able to choose our own adventure and need not be tied down to a hubby and rugrats so early in our lives. But does this make us happier? Or were women happier in simple times, when tradition and stability reigned?

I’m not quite sure where the modern, kick-ass, twenty-something female rates on the happiness scale. Some, like the author of What Our Mothers Didn’t Tell Us, would say our ambition and heightened goals have only lead to more unhappiness, confusion and insecurity. Others would say we are over-stressed, over-worked and overly obsessed with material things, body image and success compared to the Baby Boomer Generation. But I think us girls are doing just fine — we’re more socially conscious, more self-aware, more worldly and more open minded than our gray-haired counterparts. And so, somewhat tentatively, I do believe that we, the free and fearless females of our progressive generation, are happier than past generations.

What do you think?

Research Psychologists at Northumbria University used computer technology to alter the photos of men’s faces to reflect different stages of facial hair- clean-shaven, light stubble, heavy stubble, light beard and full beard.

The study goes on to state: “In desirability for a short-term relationship, a female preference for male faces with stubble or light beard was found, with clean-shaven and fully bearded faces being the least preferred.” (Editor’s Note: I do love me a 5 o’clock shadow, except when it leaves me with red, irritated skin after a long, steamy makeout sesh.)

Are we biologically programmed to respond favorably to men’s moderate facial hair? Are we socially conditioned to view stubbly guys as ideal mates? Or is this study totally off the rails, using marginal and anecdotal evidence to falsely generalize the preferences of the larger female population?

This study provides some evidence against the so-called rise of the metrosexual, claiming that the moderate manly-man is truly more desirable. But it’s not a black and white issue, and there are so many factors that come into play when accounting for female preferences.

For instance, an individual’s age is a key factor in their evaluation of attractive partners. While a thirty-year-old woman might find a beard a signal of maturity and masculinity, an eighteen-year-old college freshman might find it simply repulsive. And what about how women change? What we find attractive in the opposite sex is much different now than, say, five years ago.

The reason this study bugs me is the marked nature of stereotyping that women want an aggressive and dominant protector. It’s reducing us back to the comical cavewoman, cowering and waiting for a big, strong manly-man to come rescue us. Of course, I might be reading too much into this study- but I really don’t believe the collective attraction of all women can be summed up so cleanly and succinctly. Individual choice and preference is crucial- while your roommate might dig the scrawny, string bean type, maybe you desire meatier men with shaved heads.

In addition, their study reflects on visual attraction alone, but when was the last time you dated someone based purely on their looks? We have all sweated over the gorgeous guy who turns out to be as dumb as a rock, or the average-looking nerdy boy who turns out to be wildly sweet and romantic. Looks don’t tell the whole story- and neither does this study.

What do you think?

Exploring all the pop cultural guilty pleasures, memorable products and people, disgraces and debuts, fads and fashions, scandals and sensations.

With clever and over-animated comedians dissecting and reflecting on everything from metrosexuals to Dance Dance Revolution to Sudoku, you can’t help but giggle at the off the wall and politically incorrect observations. In honor of the show, I decided to take a yummy walk down pop-culture memory lane from 2000-2004. Here are some of my personal favorite memories from the new millennium…and the ones I despise.

New Millennium Favs:

Napster- The inspiring illegal innovation that started it all. Thank you, Shawn Fanning, for changing the musical and digital landscape.

Uggs- I don’t care how hideous they are and how far-gone the trend is, these babies keep my tootsies toasty on the way to class or, if I’m feeling really lazy, at the bar.

Crazy astronaut lady- The mildly-disturbed NASA astronaut reaffirmed my faith in equal opportunity insanity by proving that not just us common folk, but also those blessed with insanely high IQ’s, can go absolutely bonkers and lose their marbles.

Tivo & DVR- Oh, how sweet it is.

Zoolander- This brilliant satirical Ben Stiller flick poked fun at male models, the fashion industry, and most importantly, gave us ‘Blue Steel’.

iPod- What exactly did we do before these magical pocket-sized miracles? Does anyone remember the Discman? I rest my case.

Harry Potter- I’ve never read the books nor seen the movies, but anything that gets kids excited about reading is kick-ass.

New Millennium Not-So-Favs:

Fauxhawk- Along with popped collars and trucker hats. Please…no more.

The rise of Bill O’Reilly- Radically right wing, this guy always reminds me of someone’s delusional, deranged grandpa, spurting and mumbling nonsensical absurdities and ranting about the downfall of society.

Janet’s Boob Pop- The drama surrounding the infamous areola accident was overblown and nauseating. Seriously, can everyone please get over nipple spillage incidents? (Editor’s Note: We have much larger word issues to worry about…like the rise in vagina flashing, lately!) Fifty percent of the world population has a set of female breasts; let’s not be fourth graders about this.

“Wazzzup” commercial- This commercial was amusing for about five seconds — before every frat boy, soccer mom and middle-aged business man drove it straight into the ground.

Big Mouth Billy Bass, The Singing Fish- Much like a hungover person awakes to question and regret their behavior the previous evening, I can only hope that the millions of people who bought this highly annoying novelty product soon came to their senses and tossed that fish back to sea (sorry, couldn’t resist).

“I’m Rick James, bitch”- Though I was a huge fan of the Dave Chappelle show (before he lost his mind and moved to Africa), this overused Chappelle-ism became a part of our daily lexicon and managed to become one of those uber-annoying catch phrases.

Clay Aiken & William Hung- I don’t get it. I’ve never gotten it. And I want it to go away.

In the tradition of the Thumb Wrestling Championships, the World Rock Paper Scissor Tournament and the National Beer Pong Tournament, we have another contender for the most insignificant and socially irrelevant pseudo-challenge. Ladies and gentlemen, step right up- it’s the National Texting Championships.

I love a fun-spirited competitive romp of cult cultural activities. I’m a thumb wrestling champ and a beer pong aficionado. Many crucial decisions in my life have been decided by a rousing game of rock paper scissors. But I simply must put my foot down with this National Texting Championships.

First of all, it’s sponsored by LG, the phone manufacturer. Secondly, the official rules state that in order to participate in this ‘championship’ game, you must not only own a specified LG device (only four models qualify) but also be a current customer of the Verizon network.

Quite simply, I am growing weary of these corporate conglomerates trying to sell me their products while wrapping them in shrouds concealing their dollar-driven goals. I’m tired of Downy Detergent sending me friend requests via Myspace, and please un-subscribe me from the Clairol Beauty Newsletter. These companies, realizing our eyes are glazed over from the incessant advertising assaults, are trying to find new avenues to snatch our hard-earned consumer cash. Posing as competitions, facebook profiles, articles imbedded with obtuse advertising slants and outdoor cultural events, these corporate advertisers are stealthily sneaking into our world.

Whether its co-opting our culture or riding a trend wave, advertising execs have managed to creep into our subconscious through the power of association. Sponsorship is nothing new- we’ve all rolled our eyes when our favorite concert venue or sports stadium adopts a new corporate-enhanced title. In midtown Manhattan, we had bathrooms sponsored by- I kid you not- Charmin Toilet Tissue. But this new strategy of your friendly multi-billion dollar commercial establishment hits a new low. These media maneuverings are designed solely with backdoor marketing in mind. Does Oreo really need its own YouTube channel?

The National Texting Championships might draw some media attention or a collection of big-eyed and eager contestants who are strangely-proud of their text per minute ratios. I, for one, won’t be participating. I’ll be over here, thumb wrestling for the chance to go next in beer pong.

[Photo courtesy of slashphone.com] 

Sure, that was an extreme generalization and stereotype-enhancing statement, but there’s certainly some truth to it. As females, we’ve been spoon-fed the ideals that women need to be ladies, think about others first, be passive as to not offend anyone and be a ‘nice’ girl. And while I am all for embracing my femininity, being a fierce female and loving my feminist leanings, I can’t help but notice the ways in which guys manage to get ahead and lead a more stress-free life by simply ‘acting like guys’.

Since it’s more socially acceptable and even expected for men to behave in certain ways, they tend to have a leg up on females and the way we operate. In some situations, harnessing male aggression and assertiveness can pay big dividends.

Work it

Modesty and humility seem to be essential characteristics of a well-mannered woman, or so we are told. But when interviewing for a job, asking for a promotion or writing your resume, confidence and bravado are crucial. If you’re deserving of a promotion or qualified for a job, you need to be upfront and toot your own horn. Take every opportunity to boast about your recent accomplishments, achievements and successes with practical examples.

Companies want to hire and advance individuals that are confident in their skill sets and not afraid to display their assertiveness. In the same way that companies hock cosmetics, you must unabashedly market yourself — what are your strengths, what do you bring to the table, what about your track history is indicative of future success? Articulate the reasons that you are an ideal candidate for a promotion or job. If you aren’t confident in your skills and knowledge, why should anyone else be? Of course, there’s a fine line between arrogantly bragging and conservatively self-promoting, so use your best judgment.

Check your feelings at the door

Stop taking things personally and don’t take every comment so seriously. When your roommate or professor says something slightly cutting, don’t take it to heart and let it fester. Guys have this amazing ability to blow off criticism, insulting jokes and offensive remarks. While it’s important to stick up for yourself and defend your character when necessary, we should take a cue from males and let thing roll off of our figurative backs a bit more.

Women as a whole are a bit more sensitive, and this sensitivity is often the source of conflict. Meanwhile, guys pick and choose their battles a bit more, and they seemingly look past rude remarks or joking potshots. Someone at the bar make a snide joke about your outfit? Laugh it off, smile and rock that cute ensemble, secure in the fact that you look fierce and fabulous.

Money matters

Love that cute vintage purse at the thrift shop or garage sale, but think the price is too steep? Did you order your steak well-done but it came out bloody and barely cooked? Are you considering buying a friend’s used car but the price tag is just a touch out of your range? Whether demanding a refund, sending food back or negotiating a bargain, it’s important to assert yourself and stand your ground. Don’t be concerned with being viewed as a bitch or demanding — it’s your money and you’re entitled to receive what you want and what you ask for.

The Dating Game

Taking on a male mindset when it comes to dating can be truly beneficial. Buck tradition and stop playing the waiting game. For the most part, when a guy sees a girl he likes, he goes after her, and there’s no reason women shouldn’t act in the same manner. Why wait for the cute blue-eyed boy at the gym to talk to you? Sashay over to his treadmill and start up a conversation about the marathon you’re training for. Is that boy at Starbucks hiding behind his laptop making your heart skip a beat? Shoot him a flirty smile and make your way over to his wannabe-virtual office. Taking charge and being assertive can be a real-turn on to guys. Playing coy and hard-to-get in 10th grade homeroom might work, but as a grown woman, these silly games are slightly outdated and juvenile.

Friendships

Ever notice how wonderfully uncomplicated male friendships are? Guys tend to not over-analyze their friendships and roll with the punches. Unlike females, males have a penchant for taking things at face value and not reading so deeply into everything. Faced with a conflict with a buddy, a typical male will just let a few days pass, decide to get over it and go out for a cold one with the offending buddy. By not holding grudges or letting their concerns fester quietly, most guys I know actually have healthier friendships than their female counterparts.

Have a beef with a friend? Say something. I’ve noticed that guys speak their mind in a blatant and up-front manner, instead of being passive aggressive or harboring hurt feelings. Another way guys have healthier friendships is through pigeonholed purposes. Guys tend to categorize their friends: drinking buddies, buddies to confide in, their boys that they can rely on, guys that are a fun time but otherwise useless, and so on. Boys don’t expect to have an all-purpose friend, they know what their buddies’ strengths and weaknesses are, and act accordingly.

[Got any other tips? Let us hear 'em...]