Have you cracked out the hot dogs yet? The chips? The sparklers that you fully intend to try and burn your friends with? Well, us too. July 4th — even if you do nothing but stare at a grill for three hours or eat coleslaw with your fingers while watching fireworks on TV — is a day that just yells celebration. It’s summer. It’s a long weekend. Watermelon is in abundance…what isn’t there to love?

Well, apparently, one of your …

Feast your eyes on the wonderful, delightful fashion invention entitled the Naughty Candy Bra:

The best part about this sweet addition to your wardrobe is that the nutrition information is listed as below:

Only 40 calories
No fat or sodium
Only 9g of carbs and 9g of sugars
Colors may vary

This information is funny to me because, who’s actually worrying about caloric intake when they’re buying a bra made of Smarties? You know, I was going to buy …

Here at CC, we’re always looking for new and exciting ways to party. Especially when it comes to the 4th of July and alcoholic drinks associated with the holiday. The only thing is, one of your editors spent 25 years being completely unaware of the tepid, headache-inducing splendor that is Franzia. Below, she is schooled in the ways of celebrating with boxed beverages.

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I’ll be there for you…unless you make this stupid movie

Penis Enlargements! for a month

Heidi Montag sings about getting wasted and boinking randoms

Who is going to read this?  Seriously.

Kate Beckinsale gets randomly randy…in front of her kids

Get nude, and get paid

Christopher Hitchens gets waterboarded..for 30 seconds…and freaks

Will Smith just can’t play a convincing a**hole

How to give good email

Finally.  A realistic sex scene (complete with a towel and creepy …

James Bond. I used to not care. Then Daniel Craig took over. And I cared.

Forget that the title of the second installment of the updated Bond franchise makes little to no sense (at least to people like me), and mark your calendars for October 31, 2008 — the date when Quantum of Solace premieres (seriously..I wikipediaed “quantum” and it has something to do with energy and momentum and photons…so like, the “indivisible entity of a quantity of solace”?).

Anyhoo, …

Vanity Fair recently came out with “Hollywood’s Next Wave” of teen superstars, and besides the fact that at 25 I already feel too old to know who half of the kids are (25! Too old!), there was one other tiny piece of information that made me feel a little strange. Out of the 28 teens featured in the article, 2 of them were something other than Caucasian.

Either Young Hollywood has systematically sorted out all of its ethnicity, or Vanity …

Grandmas. It’s hard to figure out what they want for their birthdays. Do they want slippers? Humidifiers? Canes? Or maybe, actually, they want something a little racier.

Whether she wanted it or not, this Grandma got something rather unusual for her b-day.

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor
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I’m not the biggest fan of roller coasters. Something about the feeling that my stomach is about to shove its way into my throat is just really off-putting. Plus, remember that story about Fabio getting slammed in the face by a bird? I mean, it could happen to any one of us.

Since I’m already iffy about the whole thing, it’s not like I need another reason to be freaked out by these fear contraptions. But this story is …

I mean, it’s Friday, one of us is half-drunk(*) before 4:00pm, and the weekend is HERE.

What else are we going to talk about?

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Breaking News: George Clooney is still the perfect man

Ladies, this guy understands romance

10 fun Robert Downey Jr facts–#11 is that he’s my future baby daddy

Turn that frown upside down…with semen!

Why wouldn’t you want to watch a mini-van talk show?

How the mighty have fallen–Fantasia got fired!

Jackson family to fill the void in TV industry

Apparently, teen girls are more impressionable than we thought

…which might explain the trend of …