With the latest events surrounding Planned Parenthood, I’ve been thinking a lot about how much it costs to be responsibly sexually active. Birth control, condoms, PAP smears, STI tests, and Plan B — it adds up fast!
The first time I ever watched porn was completely by accident. I think I watched a movie, fell asleep, and woke up to people doin’ it. I was curious, but mostly disinterested, so I just turned it off and walked away. Since then, my experiences with porn have varied. There’s been a lot of nights sitting around drinking with friends and watching the weirdest videos we can find, but there have also been times when I’ve used porn as a tool.
Relationships can be great — always having someone to cuddle with, vent to, and share your favorite things with, but unfortunately things don’t always go as smoothly as planned. Sometimes once you get to know a person — once you spend more than a few month’s worth of sexy nights with them — you realize that maybe things aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.
The thing with sex is that you can’t always tell when it’s just a rut or when you’re sexually incompatible. I mean, at first glance they both look similar — lack of sex, frustration, etc. — but there are a few differences.
Sexual activity is anything but black and white. Hooking up, making out, and fooling around all mean different things to different people; I told my mom when I was about 15 that I had been making out with a boy, and had to spend the following 20 minutes explaining to her that making out was just French kissing. Apparently back in her day "making out" meant having sex — which is certainly different than my innocent round of tonsil hockey.
As a lady whose had a curiosity about sex education since childhood, I think it’s safe to say that I lost my sh*t when I found out that sex expert Sue Johanson, of Talk Sex with Sue fame, was stopping at my school as part of her speaking tour.
Feb 17, 2011
I think it’s safe to assume that after a few years of sexual activity, most people have a few “oh god” stories of bedroom disasters. These are the ones that make it into the "it doesn't count" category. You know, when something happens that, you know, just shouldn’t have happened.
Feb 10, 2011
For all of you MTV junkies out there, I'm sure you’re more than aware of the Skins US premiere. The show surprised viewers not only because it was actually decent, but because it apparently caused quite an uproar -- turns out teenagers having sex, drinking, and doing drugs doesn't sit too well with some adult viewers.
Between my new-found love for feminism, my interest in volunteering at a local rape crisis center, and the incredibly offensive non-consent debacle on Jezebel, the idea and principle of consent has been in my head a lot lately. It turns out it’s not quite as easy as that “no means no” sheet they hand out in health class – there’s more to giving consent than just not saying no.
There’s a lot of things that come with having a grown-up, healthy sex life. Our sex ed classes were taught by those who preached about “sexual health”, but never really explained what that really meant. Does it just mean going to the doctor or are there more things that can fall under the umbrella of “sexual health”?
I have confession to make: I was a member of an online dating site for about 12 hours last summer. The reason I only lasted half a day wasn’t just the stigma attached to “having to meet someone online”, but also having my profile on a site that was accessed by far too many people I didn’t know kind of freaked me out.
We all have that one person from high school that we wish we made out with when we still had a chance. Whether it was the guy you had a killer crush on in the ninth grade, or that girl who sat next to you in Math – there’s usually someone who will always be counted as a missed opportunity.
There are so many sensitive parts of the human body that people may neglect while they’re getting sexy. It’s just to easy to go for the big three – kisses, nipples, genitals – and skip out on all the rest. So here it is, a comprehensive list of places you can fondle, lick, kiss, tickle, or scratch (in a sexy way) to help get your partner heated up.
Last weekend, my best friend and I ventured into the city to attend the Everything To Do With Sex Show, a sex-centric expo that plays host to toy manufacturers, gear makers, and a whole lot of information. We had been planning to attend the expo for weeks, so walking into the giant room that was filled with people just like me – open, honest, and unashamed of sex -- was pretty thrilling.
Most of us have had, or are going to have, less-than-ideal sexual experiences at some point in our lives. The ones that make us shaking our heads and wonder what the hell we were thinking. Whether it be alcohol-induced, teenage stupidity, or just overall ill planning, sometimes these things just happen… even when, looking back, maybe we wish they didn’t.
I never had a cell phone in high school. I guess I just wasn’t interested in being constantly plugged into the social web that was teenagerdom. It worked out pretty well for me, other than getting frustrated at friends who constantly texted at dinner, or being the last one to hear about the juicy high school gossip. What I did manage to miss out on, though, was sexting – and I’m awfully glad I did.
Rejection is hard no matter where it comes from. Whether it’s somebody at the bar, a school, or a job, it just really well, sucks. Now imagine if that rejection comes from somebody you love, hell, imagine if it’s coming from the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Ouch, right?
The idea of college as a place to get laid more than a place of education seems to be rampant among students (and non-students too, apparently). The idea seems to be that having a period of promiscuity and disregard for normal societal behavior is something we all “deserve.”
There are a lot of decisions to be made in a long-term relationship -- whose friends to hang out with more often, if and when to cohabit, whose place to crash at more often, and what you’d both like the future to look like. Once sex enters the relationship – whether if it’s on the first date or on the first night of marriage, there comes a whole new set of decisions to make.
You see, while my entire family is aware that I’m an up-and-coming journalist, I always find it interesting that no one brings up exactly what I write about or what kind of publications I’m aiming to write for after graduation. Even my successes – the fact that I just got to interview my sex-columnist hero, Dan Savage, and I’m running my very own sex advice column in my school paper – were tiptoed around like a landmine.
One time, I had sex on a pier. After my three month dance with celibacy, I finally gave in at the end of the summer, and I figured if I was going to go for it, I was going to do it with a bang (well, that and my roommates were asleep and we have very thin walls). I worked my charm with my then-friend-with-benefits, and before I knew it, there I was – butt ass naked at the end of a pier at 4am.
It might be surprising to you guys, but I kind of have a penchant for sex, so I’ve opted to take a course that is write up my alley – philosophy of love and sex. Every week, we’re given a question that we half an hour to answer on paper. Our first “question of the week” was something that really got me thinking – is it more desirable to have sex with love, or sex without love?
I realize that most of us don’t live at home anymore; that most of us are no longer in high school or living with parents. But I stumbled upon this study recently and can’t stop thinking about it. In a nutshell, Dutch parents support their teenagers’ sexuality and it results in lower STI and lower teen pregnancy rates.
Whether you’re a freshman or a senior, college campuses everywhere will be packed with new people to party with, new people to study with, and yes, new people to have sex with.
We talk a lot about sex here at Sexy Time – that is the point of a sex column, after all. From basic sex education to getting a little kinky, we try to cover it all. In thinking of this week’s topic, I really wanted to write about something that maybe doesn’t get talked about as much as it should: What do you do once the sex is over?
I still remember the date I had sex for the first time. It was July 16th, and I was 16 years old. It’s odd that I remember the date, I realize, especially because it wasn’t any kind of mind-blowing experience. Looking back now, 16 seems really young – but it worked for me because I was ready.
Sometimes, against our better judgment, we put ourselves in situations that we would rather not be in. Whether it’s too much flirting or too much tequila, sometimes we send mixed signals. One thing leads to another, hands are creeping towards places we don’t want them to go and we realize it’s time to put the breaks on. We need to say no.
While this summer has been a sex-free one for me (yes, still! I’m proud of myself too), I have enough sexy summertime memories to be aware that summer might be the greatest season for havin’ sex (although, I don’t think there’s a bad season, really).
I’ve been feeling a little under-the-weather this week, and as a result have been spending a lot of my time curled up on the couch watching daytime TV. So after absorbing The View (I’ve decided I despise Elizabeth Hasselbitch, btw) and a couple other wishy-washy shows, I decided to tune into some Dr. Phil – guest starring Steve Harvey acting as “relationship expert” for the day.
There are few things more frustrating than wanting to have sex and not being able to. While this sometimes can be self-inflicted (still not getting any, btw), this week we’re going to talk about low libido and the reasons that sometimes women just can’t get in the mood – no matter how hard they or their partners try.
We were talking about porn a couple weeks ago, and for some reason that article got me labeled as being a bit of a porn hater. To set the record straight – I dig porn, I watch porn, I think porn’s a good time. And more often than not, I think porn is hilarious.
Why does it matter how many people someone has had sex with? In the world of journalism, that, my friends, is called a question lede. I’m supposed to spend the rest of this article trying to answer that question, but honestly I can’t make any promises. You see, that question has been in my mind for a while now, and I can’t seem to figure it out.
It wasn’t until I stopped having sex that I realized how sexualized everything has become. Every TV show, every movie, every magazine picture, and every song is some way related to sex. To quote Superbad, “You know what kinds of foods are shaped like dicks? The BEST kinds.”
If there’s one way to complicate a friendship, it would be to add sex to the mix. This “hook-up culture,” as it has been so nicely labeled by middle-agers, seems to be the norm on college campuses everywhere. Students are much more likely to have a few drinks and go home with a friend, than go on a “real” dinner-and-a-movie date.