At any give time since I was about 14, I thought I was ready to fall in love. Through high school crushes, adult heartbreaks and many others in between, I always stuck to the idea that I wanted to fall in love and be in a real relationship but yet seemed to be jinxed. Unlucky. A hopeless disaster. I even had a few years where the old song "But Not For Me" was my theme song. I laughed about it with friends, joked about it with strangers and secretly would cry about it alone.
Whether it was guy friends that I had mad crushes on or boys I was kissing and actually wanted it to be more, I found it so much easier to hope that they liked me. I would sit around and wait for that romantic movie moment where they blurt out their feelings in a fumbling Micael Cera-esque fashion, making sure to include an adorable listing of “all the things they loved about me” that included the perfect mix of qualities that make me feel smart, funny and pretty.
Today, Brittany from The College Crush is going to tell you what you shouldn't be doing come February 14th. That is if you want to maintain your sanity, dignity, friends and chances at love down the road. Which, you know, you should.
Whether you are single or taken, it all plays out the same: in disappointment that someone else has let you down yet again. Why not get down to what Valentine's Day is really about - love - and instead of waiting for someone else to make you happy, why not do it yourself?
Feb 9, 2011
So did everyone see the Hallmark commercial plugging Valentine's Day? If you haven't seen it, you'll love this: "Valentine's Day isn't about I love you, it's about I love us." Commercials like these can make any single woman want to bang her head against a heart-shaped box of Russell Stover chocolates.
Feb 8, 2011
Love, schmove. When you are a couple, Valentine’s Day is one of the most exciting days of the year. When you are single, you sometimes want to throw things at those happy couples. However, the one thing we forget is that Valentine’s Day is not just about couples. At it's core, it's a holiday that is simply about love.
Feb 7, 2011
Without asking for it, you have become trailblazers for a new world of dating. The biggest problem is that without any guidelines, you are inventing the rules for dating with technology and mostly learning the hard way….from your own mistakes. Well, CollegeCandy and I started talking and we are here to help.
Ah resolutions… Once the hangover is done by the 2nd and you are seriously bored at home, nothing seems more perfect than to sit down, contemplate your life and make some resolutions for 2011. With passion in heart and pen in hand we write down our best intentions for the New Year promising ourselves that “Things Will Be Different!" The problem is that most of the time by January 5th that new fitness program, study routine or other resolution has already been kicked to the curb.
I see college women coming to me all the time for answers, secrets, tips and tricks, ANYTHING to get love all figured out. They want me to get into their latest hottie's mind and tell them exactly what he is thinking to understand why he is or is not calling, texting, treating her right, or downright leaving her not only on the crazy train, but driving it loud and proud.
Since I started coaching college women, I feel like I am living in a world of stories about drunken hook-ups, walks of shame and disappointment. Understand, I am not judging AT ALL. Hooking-up is part of the college culture and can be a lot of fun.
At any give time since I was about 14, I thought I was ready to fall in love. Through high school crushes, adult heartbreaks and many others in between, I always stuck to the idea that I wanted to fall in love and be in a real relationship but yet seemed to be jinxed. Unlucky. A hopeless disaster.
The experts have shared a lot with you this week: the importance of smiling, the power of eye contact, the negative affects of texting in public, and the messages your body is sending. And now it's time to put it all together.
As much as I enjoy blabbing my mouth off from time to time, I've recently realized (with the help of Ms. Kira Sabin) that I need to pay attention to one of the most important aspects of dating there is: body language. It's so easy to close people off with your body. And the kicker? You don't even notice you're doing it!
Now, let's be honest for a second. In this day and age, everyone is hyper-connected so it's become totally normal and expected to be texting and calling and Facebooking no matter where we are and who we're with. But how are you supposed to apply the basics (smile + eye contact) when you're constantly looking at your stinkin' phone?!
Now that we've got our smiles down it's time to move on to a big next step: eye contact. Eye contact with a smile is the easiest way for someone to notice you and know that it is good to make the approach. Remember, if guys think they are going to be shut down, they just won't go there. It also exudes mucho confidence.
Everyone assumes the most attractive people get approached, but really it is the most confident and happy. Nothing is more powerful or attractive than a smile. Passersby (and that hottie in your Stats lecture) will wonder why you are so happy and want to find out. Who doesn’t want to hang out with the people who are having the most fun?
Ever have that friend that gets approached all the time? Sure, she may be pretty, smart or flirty but for some reason guys flock to her like white on rice. It may you leave you scratching your head and muttering under your breath “what is SO great about her?” You probably have friends that are funnier, smarter and prettier, yet she gets the guys.
What is "not your problem?" Who are you trying to fix? Who are you allowing to behave badly in your life? Who is taking up your precious time? Don't you think it is time to let go? Need help? That is why we are here.
We've all been there. The guy from Chem who you have been crushin’ on for a bit looks even better 5 drinks in. You are laughing, flirting and can not believe how much you have in common. What?! He likes Taio too? This is clearly destiny!
I still get a little nostalgic this time of year thinking back to the beginning of my freshman year. Over the first few months Ann (my roommate, bestie and partner in crime) and I dominated in getting to know new people. Somehow through classes, our brand new social life and dorm we were meeting people left, right and center.
His name was Tyler. He was the roommate of one of my good college friends and from the moment I met him I was smitten. The witty banter was perfect and it took about 10 hours (and a few drinks) before we were hooking up. After that near perfect weekend we walked to my car, kissed like we invented it and he said he was crazy about me.
OK ladies, we need to have a little tough love talk today. I hate to say it but sometimes I am a little confused by my own gender. As a coach I try to remain really neutral. I truly have met some amazing single men and women who make me want to be a better person. But the stories I have been hearing lately! Yikes.
Have you ever met someone and wished you had a crystal ball to see into the future? Would there be a date? Would he like your friends? Would your parents like him? Could a relationship form? Does he have the potential to be “the one”?
When I was in high school one of my friends was the most sought-after girl in school. I had other friends that were prettier, smarter and nicer but boys were crazy for her. It took me a little while, but I finally figured out why she was constantly asked out, in a relationship or every guy’s dream girl. She was approachable.
Something happens from the time when we are kids to adults. We learn that if we want to be successful at a career, buy a house, save for retirement or achieve any major milestone in life we have to work for it. Yet, when I talk to people about finding “the one,” they want it to happen naturally. Organically. They will “know it when they see it.”
I think it was the genius singer-songwriter Avril Lavigne who brought up the ever important question..."Why did you have to go and make things so complicated?" Man, do we complicate things. Sometimes things are so easy, almost simple, and we somehow make things harder than they are.
When I was in college one of my boyfriends would always quote G. I. Joe to me. Whenever I said “Well now I know,” he would chime in with Joe’s famous line “and knowing is half the battle.” I was always thought it was cute because he was cute and it was one of “our things.” Give me a break, I was smitten.
As a dating coach, I can’t believe how many ladies come to me wanting a happy and fulfilling relationship but aren’t actually happy with themselves. WHAT???? How much sense does that make? Or is that poor, unknowing, already-set-up-to-fail guy supposed to “complete you”? Lucky them.