Last night’s episode of Jersey Shore was… graphic.  (Although it was a welcome relief after last week’s throwdown.) From the pooping to the pranks and the male crying, I felt like I was watching something on HBO. Let’s just say though, the pooping really was a cornerstone of the episode. Between Deena being constipated and weighing 40 lbs more than the first episode, someone losing their “dirty drawers” (my money’s on Snooks….) and the boys sticking poo poo pads under Deena’s pillow only to later find them under their own, this ep should have just been called “Sh*ts and Giggles…and Ronnie Tears.”‘

And in that vain, I thought I’d rate every major moment of the episode by on a scale of 1-4 poops. (Obvi, 1 poop is bad and 4 is good.) You with me? Let’s get this sh*tshow on the road!

1. Snooki and Deena “Caking Vinny“
After a lot of angst and drama over Ronnie/Sammi and the girls and boys choosing sides (plus Ronnie crying for the hundredth time), Snooki and Deena decide to combine their meatball powers to “cake Vinny” and begin the most epic/fail prank war of all time.

Survey Says: Three Poops. But only because this is the moment that started it all.

2. Vinny and Pauly’s Revenge
Vinny decides to steal Snooki’s “Crocodilly,” who she allegedly sleeps with every night. She cries and screams and her and Deena hide on the bed and spy on them hiding dog doo doo. Despite the ten-year-old drama, it’s still a welcome change from the SamRon drama, and I actually laughed. So there’s that.

Survey Says: Two Poops. For my laughter.

3. “The Snitchuation”
Situation blows up Crocodillie’s spot, tries to pull a robbery on Pauly’s ex and generally has the best nickname of all time conceived “The Snitchuation”

Survey Says: 4 Poops. No joke, I laughed so hard I nearly pooed my pants.

4. Pooping
“I have to poop!!” Cries Snooki, pounding on the door as a very depressed Ronnie weeps. (I think she also mentioned a turtle head in her shorts, but I’m trying to block that out.) Meanwhile, Ronnie, so sick from losing the love of his life, has clogged every toilet in the house. Before this, I could only imagine what a gorilla juice head dump looked like, but of course, we get an up close and personal look (“There’s corn in here!”) as Vinny attempts to save the day with air freshener, a plunger and one of Sammi’s old hangers. Forced to hold it in (because where is she gonna let it out?), Deena finds herself clogged up for the whole episode….then falls down and cries the whole way home from Karma.

Survey Says: 1 Poop. That was a lot of poop for 40 minutes of TV.

5. Snookie Gets Smushed
“Say my name.”

Silence…..

“Bernard?”

Survey Says: The Golden Poop.

6. Not-Single Ronnie
Ronnie misses Sam. She was the love of his life, he knows what he’s missing now, Karma just isn’t the same without her there yelling at him/grinding on other dudes. Waaaah. Like a whiney, annoying girl, he wants everyone to know he’s hurting… by Eeyore-ing his way into every room and forcing everyone to talk to him about it. Of course Ron Ron forgot about all the arguments, all the mean things he said to Sam and that whole “I’m gonna break all your sh*t and then smush 3 girls in here tonight!” thing and claims that no one understands what happened between the two of them because it was between the two of them. Except, you know, it wasn’t. Especially now that Snitch-uation was bunking up with the WWE champions. He’s just so sad and can’t stop crying (except to force Deena to bring him buns and ketchup for his late-night burgers) so he’s gonna go home, too.

Survey Says: 100 Poops. Not so much for his moping and being genuinely bi-polar, but mostly because he might be leaving, which means working toilets for everyone! And laughter! And rainbows! And more Vinny/Pauly screentime, something we’ve all been missing this season.

[While most of us are relying on photos and livestreams to get a glimpse of New York Fashion Week, some very lucky CollegeCandy writers were blessed with the opportunity to attend some of the biggest shows at Lincoln Center. Of course, they promised they'd share their experiences with everyone, so here is Melanie's first-hand account of one of the most anticipated shows of the week.]

What better way to spend Valentine’s Day than at New York Fashion Week? When boys fail, fashion rules. In the famous Lincoln Center Theater on February 14th, Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week showcased the fashion show of the season from the iconic Betsey Johnson. Our friends at Rowenta treated us to an extra-special night of floral prints, celebrities galore, crazy kooky hair and catwalk cartwheels.

The show opened with dark eyed, gaunt models strutting their stuff in the “He Loves You Not” portion of the show. The hair was sleek and airbrushed with black lace patterns, and the clothes were deliciously pressed and witchy (thank god for the Rowenta steamers and irons backstage). The music blared, Jill Zarin texted on her Blackberry and Miss Jay silently nodded his approval as the gothic looks stormed down the runway. It was incredibly chic, sleek and dark. My MVPs? A long fur coat and a lace up dress.

It took all my power (and fear of the many security guards standing by) to keep me from jumping on the runway and tearing them off the models.

Then, just when I thought I couldn’t handle any more doom and gloom, the mood shifted, the music picked up and the screen turned bright green and pronounced, “He Loves You.” Blonde women danced down the runway, and I mean women. There were no models in this portion of the show! Bedecked in neons, florals and all things teal and Betsey-licious, we were treated from the starved models we’re so used to during Fashion Week and saw REAL women march down the runway in bright blonde wigs that looked just like Betsey’s hair. We saw a pregnant woman, chubby women, skinny women, Asian women, black women, Hispanic women, men dressed as women and everything up, down and in between all bedecked in blonde wigs.

It was a welcome change from the heroin-chic we’re used to.

The show was destined to be by far one of the most-talked-about of the season and closed out with Betsey herself doing her infamous cartwheels down the catwalk. Some balked at the plus sized women walking down the runway but I couldn’t help but feel inspired. After all, isn’t that what fashion is all about? It’s about the clothes and the real women who wear them, not humans who resemble hangers. Snaps to Betsey for embracing all shapes and sizes!

I feel so lucky to have seen it all first hand, but for those of you who didn’t, check out the crazy chic looks below. And for a chance to win a Rowenta (the official Mercedes Benz Fashion Week garment care sponsor) iron, enter their contest on their Facebook and Twitter!

For a chance to win a Rowenta (the official Mercedes Benz Fashion Week garment care Sponsor) iron: enter their contest on their Facebook and Twitter! For more Betsey, check out her site.

I’m so glad we were treated to yet another episode of Maury… I mean, Jerry Springer… I mean, The Jersey Shore: Sam/Ron edition part 5023. We are finally treated to The Situation’s first (and only) wise words: “Just break the f*ck up already” and we just couldn’t agree more.

Since the entire episode revolved around Sammi and Ron and typically we like to forget them (you know, as if they’re bedbugs or environmental science homework), it’s time we break down this episode and focus on the full-on destruction of America’s Most Lovable Couple since Jen Aniston and Brad Pitt.

ROUND ONE: Situation’s Living Situation
For once, we actually feel something for The Situation. Is that my hangover? No, it’s something new… something I’ve never felt before… it’s like cramps, only worse. What is it? Oh yes, pity. Poor guy just can’t get away from the sh*tshow. However, he does stir the pot yet again, causing Ronnie’s neck veins to pop out. They almost have a full blown kitchen battle (I can only imagine the flung chicken cutlets) but The Situation uses some “voodoo trick” (thank you, Pauly), AKA an apology. The two gentlemen embrace in a bromantic hug, then go play on the un-inspected boardwalk rides. Meanwhile, Deena and Sammi pretend to catch Ron with a girl and take it as a sign to rip shots and dispense their numbers to guys with tattoo sleeves and board shorts.  All is well in the world . Sorta.

ROUND TWO: The Same Conversation
We are treated to yet another rehashing of Miami (helloooo, we watched last season, we don’t need a play by play) and Sammi narrates her insecurities publicly for the seventeenth time in 15 minutes. Ronnie tells her “You do you and Imma do me” which I guess means act like an untrained monkey.

OH HEYYYY ROGER! HOW ARE YA MAN!?  Sorry to interrupt the re-cap, just wanted to shout out to my Seaside boy.

ROUND THREE: Getting Ready
Everyone decides they’re going to embrace Single Sammi and Single “Sick Pervert” Ronnie and take them out to the bar to blow off steam. Yet, of course, we can’t even polish our white sneakers off without some sort of explosion. We get to see Ronnie partake in his most favorite activity: throwing Sam’s stuff around like a psychopath while Sammi scream-cries “I hate you! I hate you!” and flails around like a four-year-old spoiled brat who didn’t get her Barbie dream house on Christmas morning.

Sam and the girls get ready downstairs or cry or something and Ron takes it upon himself  to throw Sam’s bed out on the porch. Yo, seriously what is with these Shore guys and screwing with their girls’ beds when they’re breaking up (See: JWoww and whatever that guy’s name is that she dated two episodes ago).

What we learned: be a woman and man up. Okayyyy.

ROUND FOUR: THE END. PRAISE BE TO DEADMAU.
Finally, after Deena and Snooki, the self-proclaimed meatball dream team, haul Sam’s bed around the house (which is an analogy for Vinny’s sausage in Snooki’s pinhole), everyone makes it out to Karma or whatever bar that looks like Karma. Sammi is clearly drunk and actually looking like a good time, grabbing onto any Guido that gets in her path. Ronnie, looking like he’s about to pop another blood vessel, is dragged out of the club. The two have another fight about respect (because, hello, Ron Ron loved and respected Sam enough to cheat on her BEHIND her back) and Sam decides that breaking her glasses is too much and she’s now finally done. For real. Because he could never get someone like her.

So, Sammi is “rhymes with weaving” (thanks Vinny) and JWoww parades around in some leather bikini while Snooki tries to contain herself. Sam cries again and again and tearfully hugs people goodbye as her town car pulls away. We can’t help but wonder if maybe, for the safety of the home furnishings, Ron should’ve been the one peeling out of the Shore.

We’ll see how long this lasts. I give it one episode.

I'd rather have a doctor stick his thumb in my butt than have to watch this episode again.

For last night’s delightful mid-season, “let’s just show 15 minutes of party footage and a few gratuitous shots of JWoww’s body” episode, I decided to consult my most brilliant pop-culture dude friend to get some input from the male perspective on the whole matter (think Joel McHale, and that’s basically him). From Deenasaurus to Sam and Ron’s dysfunction, we cover it all.

With a heaping serving of haterade.

Boring. Though I do really want to try Proactive….

Let’s just say, we were all very, very excited about this episode. We all saw the clip of Sammi Psycho… I mean, Sweetheart, punching Ron-Ron square in his nasty mouth. We were at the edge of our seats waiting for her to leave or some big, climactic blowout…that ended with her leaving So did it happen? You be the judge of this week’s J. Shore Fairy tale.

Once Upon a Time, we are brought back to the greasy, dirty (city? town? state?) Kingdom of Long Island (why God, why?)… the land of disasters and stolen beds. Our heroines, Snookers and JWoww are raiding what Tom’s left in the house. Stealing a BED? Chop his nuts off, Snook! The princesses collect Jenni’s 17 fluffy puppies and bring them back to the Sleazeside Heights Palace.

Amidst all this, Ryder (who should be on the show instead of Deena) arrives before Snooki. Vinny answers the door and it’s “awkward” since he was caught by Miss Snooki fornicating with her bestie. He reminds us of what Snook heeded him: “Do not have sex with my best friend.” Conflicted, Vinny responds, “I don’t know what to do at this point…” Uh, how about don’t have sex with her best friend? The Dragon Deenasaur decides to play Fake Snooki so she and Rrrrryder claim that 11 AM is the new happy hour and down shots of all sorts of mystical elixirs.

Since it is Ryder’s 22nd birthday, what better place to celebrate the momentous occasion than Club Karma, the finest ballroom scene in the land of New Jersey. Deenasaurus dons a tiara made of plastic flowers and ”my friend Bjork” (aka JWoww) looks like a castoff from the Swan Queen: Asbury Park Edition. Ronald succumbs to his fatal last words to “Mike’s girlfriend, “Lemme see you get krunk,” and Sammi flies off into a fit of jealous rage, scowling with her ceiling eyes in full force. Attractive.

The Capulets are on guard of their precious Gina, because we all bring our uncles to Karma, while Vinny Montague “or whatever” tries to court her. They all come home for a dignified feast of pizza, wishing only that someone remembered to bring the Ninja Turtles dishware. What a tragedy.

Miss Sammi Scummer is quite intoxicated and accuses Ron Roid of touching other girls. She walks out and Ron decides that he’s just about had enough of Sam’s short shorts and tank tops, hurling them around the room in some hormone (‘roid?) driven rage. Sam returns with a slice of pizza for Ronald and he spits in her face, ”I’ve done nothing but take care of you”… but she brought you pizza? This enrages Ron further. “Not a f*cking protein shake….a piece of pizza!” The nerve. The nerve! He dismisses her, “Your tears mean sh*t to me.”

When Situation disappears with two less-than-favorable mistresses, THE GRENADE WHISTLE comes into play. DJ Pauly and Vinny spring into action, warning the village of impending grenades on the shore. Mike, horrified, immediately turns the grenades loose upon realizing they are nothing more than peasant grenades while the Capulets appear in button downs and sunglasses to collect Nicky Duck or Gina or whatever that lady’s name was.

Sammi packs her things, Ronnie and JWoww hold each other in a tender embrace while Ron weeps like a schoolgirl. “I did nothing wrong,” he wails while JWoww assures him that he really is just a great guy. Situation decides to let Sam know of this misdemeanor and feigns searching for a condom that he doesn’t use/need/can’t find in the MTV sponsored megapack that they have in the bathroom, and let’s her know that her man Ronald is talking to Sam. Gasp, horror.

“ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH HER?!”

*KAPOW* a punch is thrown straight to the kisser.

Sammi tries to leave, the gang convinces her to stay (not sure why), everyone surprises Ryder with a cake (AHHH!), and Sammi and Ron cuddle and tell each other how much they love each other. Normal. Ryder departs. Bye Ryder? Oh we forgot you were here… wish you were replacing Sam! Too bad she didn’t actually leave!  Snooki and Vin set up a stripper pole and Ron observes, “Coooool it’s like Christmas.” I guess it’s like that. We then discover that Deena likes to bleep Fake Ronnie’s bleep and are horrified by the prospect. Too bad we still don’t know what it means.

Finally, things come back to calm at Karma (which is a bitch, by the way). Sam and JWoww go to the bar together, despite Sam momentarily thinking JWoww is a cocktail waitress and she assures Jenni, ”I’m done with the mean bone in my body…” Okay, so why are you still sleeping with Ron? They conclude that they are now friends, Sammi finally cracks a smile for the first time in three seasons and they all live happily ever after.

The End.

We can all agree that Sam and Ronnie are the most irritating people on the face of the earth. With that said, it’s a welcome relief any time a Jersey Shore episode directs their attention elsewhere, particularly to the living fembot, JWoww. I personally look to JWoww for most social cues, particularly her taste in pasties and the fact that she’s opted to develop a tranny voice with Newports. Those are things that I admire in a woman. Which is why I was thrilled when MTV decided to devote an entire episode this season to her.

Let us also not forget another beloved cast member who we didn’t see in Miami. Um, no I’m not talking about Deena. I said the word “beloved,” not “so annoying she gives us a headache and what the f*ck is that yellow thing perched in her crusty hair?” I’m referring to, of course, the duck phone. I feel that since the Duck made such a great appearance in last night’s episode, it’s only fair that we chronicle this gem of a “very special Jenni episode” based on the calls made on the duck phone… in order of quacking.

First Quack – Jenni calls Daddy Snooks: “Hi is Snooker’s daddy there? Heyy, it’s Jenni… you know JWoww? Just a heads up: your daughter’s been arrested for public intoxication, kay talk to you later!”

Second Quack – Jenni calls Tom (boyfriend):

JWoww: Snooooooki got arrested OhmahGod tequila! Stripper shirts!

Tom: You’re a b*tch

JWoww: YOU’RE a b*tch, I will EAT YOUR SCROTUM

Tom: *CLICK*

JWoww: That’s why I’m hanging out with my ex… doucher. *Laughs* Wait, are you still there?

Third Quack – Jersey Police calls Jenni

NJPD: “Yo is this Jenni? Can you pick up your daughter Snooki? She’s peeing all over the cell and trying to hump our officers. This is a police station, not a pound”

JWoww: “Yayyy!!” [Purchases "Free Snooki" t-shirt and has it overnighted for filming prior to picking Snooki up.]

Fourth Quack – Snooki calls Snooks’ Dad

Snooki: Daddy I got arrested WAHHHHH.

Dad: I’m not mad I’m disappointed…

Snooki: Dad, your universal attempt of parental guilt tripping will negatively affect me for the entirety of this episode until I bang a roided out Irish man. WAHHHH. Hey, I didn’t lose my slippers on the beach!

Fifth Quack – Tom calls JWoww

Tom: Hey Baby.

JWoww: EWWWW, you again. I’ll talk to you tomorrow I’m busy. LOVE YA DOUCHEBAG!

Tom: *CLICK*

Sixth Quack – JWoww calls Roger

JWoww: Heehee, hey boyf, what’s going on? Just wondering if you want to go on some boardwalk rides that are totally not safety inspected and like let me casually slam into you while we ride them? It’s not a big deal, my boobs won’t pop, promise, not like that b*tch Heather that you’re not dating, right? Right!

Roger: OK.

Seventh Quack – Tom calls JWoww

Tom: So, what’s up?

JWoww: Nothing, douche.

Tom: *CLICK*

Eighth Quack – Tom calls JWoww

Tom: So, what’s up?

JWoww: Nothing, douche. Just chilled with Snooki on the boardwalk. Oh and my ex boyfriend. Tom, me and you? We’re on a breather, FYI.

Tom: Cool, glad I’ve been stuck out on Long Island in some unpronounceable town near Jones Beach tending to your chihuahuas. I’m just going to steal your bed and peace out now.

JWoww: I DON’T DESERVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!

Pauly D: Roger that.

Oh. My. Guido.

After a hard two months away from these tri-state tanning terrors, they’ve finally, FINALLY returned. Unless you haven’t noticed our entire crew of juiceheads, grenades and gorillas gracing the cover of every magazine and headlining every gossip blog. OK, so we didn’t really get a “break” between seasons, even Halloween was filled with leopard printed homages everywhere you turned. However, the Jersey Shore crew is officially back in Seaside Heights. We were treated to watching the gang leave their respective homes in New Long/Staten IslandBronxJersey York, pulling away from their townhouses in shiny new Beemers, Benzes and Bentleys like they’re in a rap song… or the opening credits to the The Hills.

And then, we’re back in the defamed shore of New Jersey, fully equipped with shots of flavored vodka, dirty hamsters (Sorry, Angelina left), whey protein, overdramatic hand gestures, short shorts and, of course, action-packed drama.

The only way to breakdown their return to the premiere Shore house is of course by the most crucial decision upon moving into a MTV filmed beachhouse: room assignments.

Jenni (JWoww), Deena (Potential Gremlin Twin) and Snooki (America’s Sweetheart)

We already love biffles Snooki and JWoww, but Snooki brings along her evil counterpart to expand the gal pal bond in the house. This entire group already seems to resent Sammi, showcased by JWoww’s incredible aggravated sigh upon first sight of Sammi Sweetheart. The girls all fall apart giggling in a drunken humping heap in their room and decide that they’re all best friends forever. Deena is quickly accepted by most everyone (especially Sitch, was she kidding with that Smirnoff sponsored striptease?!), and lets us all know it’s because she’s a total holiday, whatever that means.

However, Sammi immediately shuns and cackles at her, refusing to answer crucial questions about her exact Jersey hometown and Deena calls her an unthinkable slur, prompting a screaming match which I needed a translator for. Deena runs around in straw hats and plastic flowers in her hair rasping in some incomprehensible smoker’s voice. Snooki has red hair and is just her general cuddly squirrel monkey self. JWoww looks on the pint sized duo in amusement and chain smokes in her sweatpants. Some things never change. I personally am struggling with how they’re going to keep Deena from direct sunlight, getting wet and eating after midnight. I mean, aren’t all those things the whole point of going to the Jersey Shore?

DJ Pauly Delvecchio and Vinny

How cute is this little bromance? When Vinny tried to surprise Pauly with the ceramic seagull? Seriously, that made me happier than the realization that this season is already gearing up to be full of fighting. Vinny is clearly ready to get it in and have fun at the shore, but we are shocked to find that he hooked up with our little ray of sunshine from last season, RYDER! In front of Snook! He rebuffs Snooki for a hookup while Pauly D lounges with JWoww and we continue to wonder why they haven’t just gotten together yet. Vinny does some vaguely “awkwardly cute” things, Pauly’s mommy D irons his white tees, no new information there.

SammiRonnie and Mike “The Situation”

Likely the most uncomfortable set-up in the house, our favorite couple obviously takes the room with three beds in order to ensure the most camera time to film the two lying in separate beds near each other and having meaningful conversations about problems that don’t exist. The Situation arrives an hour late due to a book signing and gets stuck with the couple. His forehead is officially stamped “Miserable” by Snooks and he drags his suitcase up the stairs with the enthusiasm of Charlie Brown. SammiRonnie freak out at Diana Deena/Chihuahua, whatever her name is because she sucks at life, too, and Ron avoids Snooki’s accusation of Sammi being a “boring b*tch” as per Ronnie’s mom. Sammi almost recoils from her extreme hand gestures and Ronnie hangs his head in shame. The two continue to attack Nana/Dina/Cooka and we’re all reminded why we watch this show. Oh and the Sitch just makes goofy faces like a cartoon character.

And that’s just the first episode. I need some Ron Ron Juice; this is going to be one so-uncomfortably-amazing-it-hurts-my-heart season. Welcome to the Jersey Shore (season 3), bitches.

That’s right CollegeCandyites, the time has come once again for our favorite bunch of swearing, drinking, and skanky kids to premiere their show on MTV tonight. No, I’m not talking about “Teen Mom,” I’m of course referring to the Seaside Heights gang that we watched tear up South Beach just a couple months ago. Or repeatedly over holiday break if you, like me, couldn’t get enough of the endless JS marathons running on MTV.

If you’re a devoted Shore fan, no doubt you will be celebrating the crew’s return to Seaside in straight up fist-pumping, hair scrunching Jersey style. Here are the essentials you need to throw your bash:

House music
Bust out the DeadMau5, DJ TLX, Tiesto and Crystal Castles or whatever’s hot on your playlist right now. Pretty much anything you can beat that beat to will be acceptable.

Snooki’s Book
When the commercials hit (every 6 minutes), read some brilliant literary passages straight from the mind of Miss Nicole herself. Check out this article where PopEater compares Snookers to her equals, the likes of Faulkner, Fitzgerald and Didion.

Jaeger, Ron Ron Juice and Devotion Vodka
It just wouldn’t be a shore night without some hard partying.

All hairsprays, gels, pomades and blow dryers you can get your paws on
That poof is not going to stay up with the sheer force of gravity. Please, that’s like saying JWoww’s rack defies gravity naturally, too. Grab onto your Redken super strength finishing spray (we like forceful 23) and get that blow out going!

Insane “Truth or Dare” games
You don’t need to play it in your underwear like the Shore kids did last season (because, ew…), but you can speed up commercial breaks by busting out the “questions game” or even downloading a sick, sexy truth or dare app on your smart phone.

Leopard print everything
Does this one even need any elaboration?

A brand new, wildcard member of your crew
Gear up for new castmate Deena by inviting a new friend over. Just don’t bother inviting your Angelina-esque grenade frenemy to this season’s event. Do you really want to miss out on the dramz cuz you’re rolling around on the floor in a hair pulling, cooka exposing rumble?

Jersey Shore season 3 (the best yet, according to our MTV insider!) premieres tonight at 10PM/9PM Central. Get a little taste right here.

[Everyone’s got a vice, a bad habit, something they know they need to change. Unfortunately, everyone also has a million excuses why they just can’t do it. Not anymore. Every month

After dealing with the turmoil of a breakup, the impending holiday season, the bitter cold and the death of my beloved aunt, the only thing getting me through were my workouts. That’s right, while the rest of the world was going for pumpkin pie, I was skipping dessert and smashing up the elliptical. While everyone threw elbows at their local Target, I was throwing punches (Jillian Michaels style) on the treadmill.

All I can say is: I did it.

Yes, I slipped up last week. But you know what, I pulled through. Even through the holiday season when my plans inexplicably brought me to my relatives in Ohio, I was blessed with a 24 hour gym in my Cleveland hotel. And you know what? I felt amazing skipping the pie and busting my ass on the elliptical. Granted, it might not have been the most fun or indulging holiday, but I felt ten thousand times better skipping out on the alcohol fest of “Thanksgiving Eve” or the “drinking to make my relatives seem normal” tradition of Thanksgiving itself. I burnt off my aggression about my break up, my sadness about my lost aunt and the general grief that this season brings me.

This month challenge has truly inspired me in many ways. Although it seemed like an arduous task at first, I really feel that I gave 100% of myself into this and I want to keep going. From this day on, I want to continue my high-energy motivation for the gym. Albeit, now that I’m not documenting every moment in time of this journey, I will take some time off once a week to rest. I’m allotting 5-6 days at the gym for Gym-cember (doesn’t have as catchy of a ring to it, does it?) and going to keep pushing myself. I do know that 7 days is too much for my body to handle at this point and I deserve a day off instead of just feeling crushing guilt when I skip.

In terms of my fitness routine, I’ve really solidified myself as someone with ADHD. I cannot spend an extreme amount of time on one machine. But, the people I’ve talked to have advised that this is actually a good thing! You can switch from the elliptical to the treadmill to the bike in one forty-five minute work out and it’s perfectly fine. I may never be a distance runner but I finally did a mile in under ten minutes. It may not be a big deal to you, especially if you’re a hardcore runner, but it was a huge accomplishment for me.

I’m proud I did it and I can’t wait to continue my new fitness-concious lifestyle.

So, just wanted to let you guys know that this stupid One Month Challenge is officially cursed. When my sister gave up her penchant for junk food for a month, her and her bf broke up. Fast forward 2 challenges later, I broke up with my boyfriend, who was living with me and my roommate. All drama aside and cutting to the chase: I skipped a day at the gym. Oops. However, I have been getting a significant amount of cardio in from my sporadic post-break up sobbing in public/indiscriminate panic attack dry heaving. I can already feel my abs tightening.

Now, I’ve started to work out even harder at the gym, pushing myself to my full limits. Actually, skipping a day made me work even harder. I think my body needed the rest. Except this week really, really sucks for working out. There’s nothing I want more than to curl up on the couch clutching my bottle of Pinot Grigio, my two new boyfriends Ben and Jerry and weep while watching “It’s Complicated” because I will never find a guy like John Krasinski. But oh no, I have to take my multi-vitamin as per Jillian Michaels, pound out some time at the gym, do crunches, do my sobbing abs exercise and try my damndest not to skip another day.

Additionally, I’ve thrown my energies into work, pulling 12-hour days just to avoid thinking about it, which leads to more fatigue complications. Alas, I have been plugging through, altering between high-energy workouts and lethargic half-assed push ups.

My plan is to just keep going, forget that I skipped one stupid day and work even harder. I mean, I’ve got to get my body right in order to look hot in that LBD since I’m now back on the market. The timing couldn’t be better as I feel my clothes fitting better and the pounds dropping off the scale. Not to mention, my eating habits have changed completely to accommodate my gym schedule and my breakup nausea. I’m not going to say things are going well. Things are simply going.

[Check out the other One Month Challenges we've taken on. And if you've got a challenge you want to tackle (and be held accountable for), email us and we could feature you next month! We promise, not all challenges end in heartbreak.]