Robert Pattinson: so not hot without the hair.

Sarah Palin’s thoughts on McCain’s campaign.

50 reasons to be sad about the end of the Bush era.

Mary-Kate Olsen sees the silver lining!

What is the healthiest city for women?

Design your own Office t-shirt!

Why is Jodi Sweetin famous again?

Top 10 feuds of 2008.

Backstreet Boy Brian Littrell’s son is sick.

The hottest arm candy of the season.

Here’s an invention for the sex kitten in all of us: scientists in the UK have developed a chip that will stimulate the pleasure centers of the brain. In other words, this chip will turn you on.

The technology is very rough at the moment, but the people behind it (all men, I presume) say that it should be perfected within the next 10 years. What does perfect look like?

“When the technology is improved . . . it will be more subtle, with more control over the power so you may be able to turn the chip on and off when needed.”

So, on at home and off during class? On during class and off with the parents? On with the boy and a quick off when the roommate walks in?

At first glance this gadget seems pretty fantastic, but think about it: once guys know they can just “flip a switch” to get you in the mood, the romance will be over. Say goodbye to flowers, candy and those sweet nothings in your ear. Give a little TTFN to makeout sessions, opening doors and nibbling on your neck. Hell, say goodbye to foreplay. With the ease of flipping this switch, guys won’t need to work for it anymore.

I am all for technological advancements in TVs, music players and cars, but let’s leave sex to nature, shall we? Call me old fashioned (and a little kinky), but I like the old way.

So you’ve managed to evade being trampled to death while gift shopping so far, and you’re only massively in debt, as opposed to hopelessly. The radio plays ‘Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree’ and while you aren’t quite sick of it yet, you’re the equivalent of being mildly nauseous. So how do you make it to December 26th without losing your mind?

1) Stay away from shopping centers – Unless you specifically wish to be run down in the parking lot of your local Target or mall, stay away from every shopping location with more than 50 parking spaces until at least the third week of January. Why? Pre-Christmas Sales, Last Minute Shopping Runs, Post-Christmas Sales, and It’s-January-There’s-No-Reason-For-Sales Sales. You have better chances of surviving a brisk swim through Bull shark infested waters than making it from your car (parked in the next zip code) to the very first pair of sliding glass doors of some venerable shopping institution.

If by chance you do make it into the store, the crush of people going in every possible direction is certain to disorient you, resulting in an unintentional detour to the Hardware section when you really just wanted to pick up a card.

2) Don’t OD on Christmas music – With the commercials looping constantly, a certain famous Mariah Carey song on thirteen stations at a time, and your little sister playing her Disney Christmas CD around the clock at a level just loud enough to be audible in your room, but not loud enough to get her in trouble, you are bound to go crazy. Decompress from the assault of seasonal media by either moving to Northern Greenland, or simply playing normal CDs instead of listening to the radio. Leave the room temporarily when that irritating holiday car dealership commercial comes on, or if driven to extremes, pitch the television out of your living room window. Read More »

There are two things everyone know about Americans:

1. We are the fattest country in the world.

2. We are the largest oil consumer in the world.

(Honorable mention: we produced Paris Hilton.)

But what if we could solve both of those problems (sorry, there is no solving the Paris issue) at once?

Enter Dr. Alan Bittner, a plastic surgeon in Los Angeles. He used the fat he was sucking out of those vapid LA women and turned it into fuel for his SUV. Yes, you read that right: he drove to work with someone’s thighs.

Apparently, this isn’t anything new: “Fat–whether animal or vegetable–contains triglycerides that can be extracted and turned into diesel.” Even companies like Tyson are looking at using the animal fat – currently an annoying biproduct of production – to fuel their delivery trucks

This news not only means that we can stop “funding terrorism” by depending on the Middle East for oil, but that the U.S. could become the largest exporter of oil in the world! No need for offshore drilling; think of all those overweight Americans that we could drill! Think of all the money we could make!

If this isn’t an answer to all of our problems (obesity, dependency on the Middle East, the recession), I don’t know what is. Seriously, you can start right here. I have enough fat on my butt to get myself home for the holidays.

Everyone’s been taking about JLo lately, and we want to also – just not for the same reasons. Who cares if she and Marc Anthony are calling it splits (that’s their business, anyway)? We care about more important things…like what she’ll be wearing to meet with the attorneys.

Being one of the most famous faces in the world means always looking camera-ready, and Jennifer Lopez has gotten that down pat. Whether out shopping in jeans and a casual top, or posing for the Oscars, J.Lo has got it goin’ on. She’s always seen in gorgeous designer duds (and is close friends with many of them), does a lovely job when it comes to accessorizing, and knows how to flaunt that kick ass bod of hers (even after twins).

She’s often seen wearing asymmetrical drapey numbers, but she also looks amazing sporting tight gowns that really hug her curves. Oh and let’s not forget those awesome hats and sexy knee-high boots, looks that most women can’t pull off (and lord knows I’ve tried!). As a whole, she almost always looks flawless and her fabulosity shines through no matter what the occasion is. And for that, Jennifer Lopez is my Style Idol this week. Maybe this honor will help lift her spirits as she (allegedly) handles a very public divorce. Read More »

Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line, and the next available representative will be with you shortly.

Have you ever heard THAT one before? How long is “shortly,” exactly? I don’t think “shortly” should be allowed to mean any longer than 10 minutes, but I have waited upwards of 45 minutes to talk to an actual person on an automated phone system, and I bet you have, too.

Even better are those automated systems that make you feel like you are speaking to a real person, but you are not. And you realize it when you find yourself screaming “NO,” “CREDIT CARD!!” into the phone again and again.

There is only one word that can express my thoughts about these systems: ARGH!!!!!

Not all of them can be cracked, but I recently picked up some tips that will help you get an actual live person on the line as quickly as possible. For all of our sanity, read on: Read More »

Just in case you forgot, tonight is the end to yet another glorious season of The Hills. But don’t shed a tear, because The City, Whitney Port’s new show in NYC, is starting up next week! Thank you, MTV, for giving me a continuous dose of really bad (fake) reality TV. Love you!

Anyways, tonight is more than just another episode. There is a possible Heidi/Lauren reunion! And a party! And interviews! And a performance by The Pussycat Dolls!

Oh yeah, it’s gonna be huge.

And CollegeCandy is gonna be there. Yeah, we are sneaking in a fabulous CC writer to check out the entire scene and report back tomorrow morning on the clothes, the silicone, and the flesh colored beard. So, kick your parents out of the living room, pop open a bottle of Cristal Boones Farm and watch The Hills with us tonight.

It is really easy to throw caution to the wind and dive headfirst into holiday dinners, cocktails and leftovers (a few hours later.) Unfortunately, it is not so easy to rid your body of the fat and calories the next day. So, instead of letting yourself go crazy for the holidays this year (“But my mom only makes this peanut buttery chocolatey heavenly dessert once a year!”), why not try a little moderation?

Don’t worry; you can still eat some of the chocolatey peanut butter thing.

1. Exercise: Whether it is Christmas dinner, or a plate full of latkes, you know you will be eating something out of the ordinary (and off the charts in terms of calories) this holday season. Prepare in advance by getting a workout in. Most gyms are open – even on Christmas day – so don’t use the holiday as an excuse to take a vacation from fitness. Unless you want everyone to buy you a size up in the clothes on your holiday wish list.

2. Eat Before You Go: Whenever I go to holiday meals I tend to starve myself all day to make room for the scrumptious treats that will be served. That is a good idea in theory, until I find myself taking second and third servings of very unhealthy foods (and feeling horribly guilty/angry at myself later). Don’t go to these meals hungry! Eat a little snack before you go to curb your hunger, that way you can have a little bit of the foods you love without going completely overboard. Read More »

Tired of your friends making fun of your Zack Morris phone? Sick of pressing buttons 3 times to get the letters you want for texting? Did you maybe drop your precious cell in a toilet last weekend and are too broke to buy a new one?

Then this contest is for you, my friend.

Our friends over at AT&T gave us a brand new Palm Centro to give away to one lucky CollegeCandy winner. This phone is awesome. It’s small enough to fit in your clutch, but with a full QWERTY keyboard, Bluetooth® capability, and infrared connectivity. You can email, Instant Messenger and Push-To-Talk with your friends, listen to AT&T Music and XM Radio, take pictures and record video, and stay up to date on all those important assignments.

Yeah, it’s the bomb.com. And it’s also easy to win. Here’s what you have to do:

Are you a member of CollegeCandy’s Facebook group? Well, you might want to be because the person who gets the most people to join the group will take home this great new phone. Just send your friends to join the group. When they join, have them leave a message on the wall that says “(Your name) sent me.” (So, if you are Brad Pitt, we want to marry you your friends would say “Brad Pitt sent me.”)

The person who sends the most will have themselves a brand spanking new phone courtesy of AT&T. You have until 5pm EST on Christmas day (December 25th, if you don’t know) to round up all your friends. We will announce the winner on CollegeCandy and send your phone on over.

(And just in case you don’t win this phone, AT&T has tons of other great phones you can take home for the holidays. Like the Samsung Propel or the Pantech Matrix, both only $79.99 with a a two-year agreement and after a $50 mail-in rebate. Put that on the wish list this year!)

What’s wrong with Michael Jackson (besides, you know, the obvious)?

Katie Holmes isn’t lookin’ so hot…

Some unconventional weight loss tips for the holiday season.

Adam Sandler: The Real Big Daddy.

The 7 Deadly Sins of dating.

Is this Madonna’s new man? Dayummmm.

Try a little fashion decor to spruce up those walls.

Dear Parents, Soulja Boy is sorry for all that “Superman Dat Ho” bizness.

Kelly Clarkson is coming back!

The best and worst of Neutrogena.