I held my breath through the results and I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!!! Melinda goes home! We should take cell phones away from teenage girls EVERYWHERE cause it’s obviously their fault that we have one more week of that bad clothes wearing (again last night, again—what is that?), beat-boxing yuck. I’m pissed. Can you tell?

I mean, I said it—I worried that Ms. Doolittle didn’t appeal to the mass audience—she’s just in a whole different ball game then everyone else up there. But it’s so obvious that she is amazing. Maybe lacking a personality. But a phenomenal singer. I’m pissed. Onto the rest of the show…

Ok, sure. I imagine running into one of the American Idols on the street might be kinda cool. I don’t know that I would recognize many of them, but I could pick a few out of a crowd. But who are these people that they showed in the clips last night? There were people weeping, and screaming, and freaking out over people who—as Idol legacy has proven—might not be that huge of stars. Kelly, and Carrie have done fine for themselves. But whatever happened to Ruben Studdard after he released that first album? Pretty sure crickets are audibly chirping in the silence of his career.

I was really struck by the girl weeping in the Melinda segment—“she’s really *sniffle sniffle* helped me through some *sniffle sniffle* hard times.” What? She’s literally only been around for eleven weeks. So that’s fourteen songs she’s sang, and changed your life with? Ok… I guess there are fourteen song albums that have changed my life, but seriously? I’m perplexed.

Elliott Yamin was surprisingly good. His stylist has done well for him and managed to hide that massive nose he’s got there. The song wasn’t bad, and though I don’t know that many white boys can pull off the R&B sound as well as Justin Timberlake, I’m willing to keep my fingers crossed for him. Apparently his album has been out for a minute—anyone heard it? Again with the Idol curse… hmmm. Maybe being on the show is not such a good career move.

I wanted to write here that Adam Levine was luscious and to die for good looking, but what the hell is up with that hair cut he’s rocking? What do you even call that thing? And he is lanky! I had no idea. I was hoping that his striking features would make me forget he had slept with LaLohan, but alas, he is ruined for me. The song was typical Maroon 5—catchy, poppy, fun. For some reason the sound always seems off to me when the real famous people perform. But maybe it’s me.

Next week is the big finale show—I swear if Blake wins I will NOT watch next year. And I mean it this time. I’m almost tempted to forget the last show this season, but then you guys would miss my witty banter afterwards.