Dude - What. A. Week.

tired_baby-whew.jpgT.G.I.F.

Remember when that meant a night of Full House and Family Matters? Now it just means a night of heavy drinking followed by a day of serious sleeping. And I still love it just as much.

This week was a long one. We lost Estelle Getty. Our boyfriend, Christian Bale, was arrested for yelling at his mother. And we found out that all the not-so-hard work we are putting into college isn’t worth crap anymore. Awesome.

But even though another week has passed, crazy girls are still around, we are still too picky when it comes to picking boys, and freaky guys are still all about peeing on us in bed. WTF?

Maybe we should stick to being single? It is far too hard to find a tall guy anyway. And getting into a relationship only means adding another ex to the list…who you will never be able to avoid thanks to our generation’s problem with oversharing.

Ugh. I need a shot.

At least boys are starting to appreciate more comfortable undies. I’ll keep that thought close to my heart as I enjoy yet another awesome summer weekend.

Dropping Out of High School Is Bad News for Women

depressed.jpgI can’t speak for all women (even though I tend to try), but a lot of my self esteem comes from my ability to perform tasks well. Like bowling, or making people laugh or getting really good grades in school. My parents were never the type to stand over me and push me to do well. I pushed myself. Poor performance on an exam or in a class meant that I was not good at something and made me look bad next to my friends.

The fact that I did well in school left me with a lot of confidence and self worth when I moved on and began doing other things. I knew that I could do just about anything if I wanted to, which is how I approached the job hunt after college and how I continue to approach every task that is put in front of me. I know I am intelligent and capable and that leaves me with a sense of comfort and mental clarity as I go through life.

I can totally understand, then, the results of a recent study that claim that women who are expelled or drop out of high school experience a much higher rate of mental instability and depression than men.
For one thing, the inability to complete a task will weigh on anyone; especially one that will affect the course of the rest of your life. And, because women tend to be more in tune with their emotions, it makes sense that this would affect them more than their male counterparts. (Or at least what those macho, “I’m fine” boys are reporting.) Read More »

Candy Dish: Curvy Women, Rejoice!

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Dudes prefer a size 10

Really? He’s still alive? I could have sworn he was long gone. …Or maybe I was just wishing.

Cheap drugs in Mexico? Not anymore

Screetch to write a Tell All. Seriously.

Straight up weird: identical everything.

The Billionaires want you to STOP SMOKING

Jason’s baaacck!

…And so is Freddy (Which means both my toolshed and my dreams are no longer safe)

Dana Scully kicks ass

50 Cent don’t play, Taco Bell!

Oh man, Zac Efron…how is this helping the gay rumors?

Christian-Gate, Day 3: The Family Weirdness Gets Weirder

christian-bale-3.pngBecause no one in the CC office wants to believe that Christian Bale is the type of guy who would flip out at his sister and mother randomly, we’ve been following this story every step of the way (I mean, it’s a matter of possibly kicking him out of our fantasises forever…it’s important). Here’s what we’ve learned this morning:

1) His mother used to be a clown. Legitimately.
2) He may or may not have a short temper (which may be due to the fact that he plays tortured dudes all the time)
3) His sis allegedly asked him for a loan of 100,000 pounds (roughly $200,200), and he said no
4) His mom allegedly insulted his wife, and Bale went all “Oh no you DIDN’T!” on her ass
5) Bale’s family “never wanted to ruin his night” but felt they needed to “teach him a lesson”

Aside from saying what he had for breakfast the day of the blow up, reporters are doing their best to dig through Bale’s past and find some deep, dark poison in his soul or something. Our hypothesis? The guy has a bad temper, has been stressed out for a while, had a giant fight with the fam, and because he’s a celebrity that “row” turned into some kind of Battlestar Galactica implosion in the media.

So yeah, Beautiful Bale isn’t out of our fantasies yet…we just may reconsider challenging him to a rousing game of Battleship…because that sh*t gets heated.

Project Runway Rundown: The Runway Goes Green

pr2.jpgLast night’s episode of Project Runway really made Lauren happy. Lauren is all about saving the environment, so Lauren was super excited when she found out the challenge was to use Green fabrics to create cocktail dresses. Lauren wants a Green cocktail dress!

Other things Lauren wants: the BlueFly accessories wall in her bedroom, a lunch date with Heidi Klum and for Suede to stop freaking speaking in third person.

But let’s get back to the show (and first person).

This week’s challenge was twofold. Not only would the designers be using eco friendly fabrics, but the models would be purchasing them. Oooooo. I am sure that threw a little wrench in everyone’s plans, but didn’t really become an issue for anyone except Stella. Not because the model came back with some hideous fabric, but because the model came back without leather.

Stella LOVES leather. She would make anything in leather! She would make pants in leather, hats in leather, dresses in leather. If only leather wasn’t the WORST THING FOR THE PLANET, Stella. I mean, seriously. Leather is not only a major fashion mistake (unless you are going to a Bon Jovi concert), it just totally goes against everything this challenge is about.

So, anyhoo….the designers start doing their thang with the stuff and some random shite goes down. Some people almost can’t finish their garments, some people are still making up words (enough with the ‘icious…seriously), some people think others are copying them and Tim Gunn thinks one designers dress has the potential to be a HOT MESS. Yes, he actually said that. He totes misses Christian! Read More »

Can I Get Your Number? Nah, Just Facebook Me

23355057.jpgSeriously, who gives out their number anymore?

I remember having a drunken bonding moment with a really cool guy in college a few years ago, and he asked for my number. I asked for his screen name instead. I mean, IM-ing someone is so much more casual, and so much less stressful. You don’t have to feel your heart thumping through your chest as the phone rings. Is he going to answer? Is it going to go to voicemail? Is he blocking me? What do I say if he picks up?

With IM, you can see if he’s away or idle, and choose your own adventure from there. You can leave a casual “Just wanted to say I had a great time last night” IM, rather than starting a phone call with the same line and then struggling to make small talk. Likewise, you can make small talk behind the shield of the IM window, where he can’t hear your voice crack, and where you can copy and paste the whole convo to all of your girlfriends and get advice while you try to weed out his intentions.

And then came Facebook. The social network has made quite the mark on the dating scene. There’s the poke, which can be viewed as casual, flirty, or creepy. There’s the “it’s complicated” label for the relationship you’re in (finally- you can be open about having a f*ck buddy without warding off the rest of the male population!); and of course, there’s the wall post, which makes the casual IM seem like the awkward phone call of yesteryear. Read More »

CC is Getting an Update!

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As you might have guessed, faithful readers, we are slowly remodeling. Getting a cut and color for the site, you could say. We’re looking to amp up our image to match the trademarked edginess our writers bring to each and every blog. Right now we are in transition. Certain things are awesome, and certain things will change. Never fear. Soon we will unveil (almost) all of our secrets.

While we’re at it, email J (jess@collegecandy(dot)com) or Laur (lauren@collegecandy(dot)com) and let them know what you’d like to see more of, less of…talk to us, you lovely people!

Emily David Will (And Should) Put A Boot Up Miley Cyrus’ Ass

talent.jpgMeet Emily David, aka Queen Emily. She’s a 40-year-old single mom, a snappy dresser, and the only talented person on Tuesday night’s episode of America’s Got Talent.

I haven’t heard such a great rendition of Chain of Fools since Turkey Sub from School of Rock. It was proud, soulful, sassy, and confident. It was the voice of a woman who’d worked hard, walked through hell and lived to tell about it.

In her interview, Emily said, “So many times I think it will never happen for me…but then I go and look in the mirror and say ‘Why not me?’”

Why not you Emily? Why shouldn’t you take this show (and this country) by the shoulders and shake us out of a crappy music slump?

We’ve put up with pop starlets too long. Even those with good voices haven’t had the life experience to make their songs really sing. We’ve confused drunk driving, pantie dropping and stage parents with celebrity and even worse…with talent. And what do we have to show for it? Why should we wait for Disney to tell us who the next pop idol/future pariah is when hard-working, truly gifted people people like Emily are right in front of us? Read More »

Candy Dish: Christian Bale is Innocent! Innocent, I Tell You!

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Christian Bale was merely defending his wife? Awwwww!

Wanna work in politics? Just have an affair!

Sick of Facebook yet? Yeah, me either. But it just got even better.

Viagra may work for women?

Apparently, some dudes agreed that women in skinny jeans could not be raped because removing them would require consent? Yeah…took awhile, but that’s been reversed.

The Jo-Bros are probably pissing off a lot of Dallas homeowners right now….

Porta-Potty art! (Doesn’t make the smell go away, though.)

Earth-friendly junk mail? Hot granny panties? Declining gas prices? Impossible!

An old favorite to get you through the day. Weeeeeeeeeee!

Oversharing, Feminism, and the New American Twenty-Something

shafrir-juliaallison1v.jpg2111.jpgThe summer of 2008. A summer drowning in recession, debt, ridiculous gas prices, and boring, trashy television (I mean, Greatest American Dog??). Lots of things seem to be going wrong…or at least…discussed to the point of having us all believe they’re going wrong…and many teens and twenty-somethings are turning to the web to air their grievances.

Because 2008 isn’t just the summer of expensive corn and Obama-rama, it’s also the summer of TMI. Over-sharing has become a form of communication for our generation; from blogging about bad dates, to blogging about our self-indulgent issues, to blogging purely to become famous. No matter who we are, we can become stars overnight by uploading naked photos, name-dropping about a wild party, or simply having an ounce of literary ability and a snarky way with words.

By late July, 2008, the percent of people in the US who haven’t seen a celebrity vajayjay flash or heard someone say, “dude, I’m gonna blog about this!” is monumentally small, and it seems like every day a new gossip or 24 hour news site pops up. However, amidst the clattering of fingers on keyboards and snapping of flashbulbs, I can’t help but wonder if this constant need to be seen and heard is actually doing us any good. Read More »

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