WTF? So you can sleep with Edward??

When I was waiting outside of the Scholastic store in Soho to buy the 7^th Harry Potter book, I saw a reporter from the New York Post who was walking up and down the massive line and interviewing people for a story about the book’s release. I overheard him speaking with one guy who had a lightning bolt scar on his head.

I know what you’re thinking—“All right, it’s kind of odd that an adult man would dress up for the release of a kid’s book, but it’s not totally unheard of. That dude probably wasn’t any weirder than any of the other people in the line.”

Wrong. This nutbar didn’t just draw a lightning bolt on his forehead—as he told the reporter, he had literally carved the scar into his skin with a razor blade.

And to make matters worse, I was ahead of him in line. Yes, I had arrived at the bookstore before the psycho.

So needless to say, I know a thing or two about what happens when fandom gets extreme. Even so, Twihards—people who are obsessed with the Twilight books and movies—take things a step beyond anything I’ve ever seen before. As of Wednesday, at least 2,100 screenings of New Moon, the second movie in the series, were sold out—and those are only the showings measured by MovieTickets.com. There’s also a ton of Twilight merchandise available all over the web, stuff that ranges from normal (t-shirts, posters) to full-on batsh*t crazy (A shower curtain screen-printed with a giant picture of Robert Pattinson’s face. A life size vinyl wall decal of Edward Cullen’s silhouette, accented by the words “Be Safe.” A pair of underwear that’s illustrated with the sexy vamp’s face—inside the crotch). Read More »

Seriously, this is what she looks like 6 weeks after giving birth?!

Is Ashlee Simpson Fall Out Boy’s Yoko Ono?

Welcome to the fad diets of 2010.

Taylor Swift is too busy for her fans.

11-year-old gives birth…on her wedding day.

Uh. That’s Lady Gaga? Holy crap.

Nice hair, Bart Simpson

Spencer and Heidi get a verbal beat down.

Joe Francis out of money.

Bundle up (and look cute doin’ it!) this winter.

Well, hello there, Zac Efron.

The biggest hair trends of the season.

Adam Lambert must tone down the gay.

Who is Rihanna’s new boyf?

Make your own American Apparel infinity scarf!

Uh, this couple cannot be for real.

Target’s got some super cute winter coats.

Cute boots that burn calories? Sign us up.

WTF is Whitney Port wearing!?

Mmm. Afterbirth...

I’m all for living an organic lifestyle. There’s simply no reason not to. But I draw the line at smearing birthing excrement on my face.

Gross, I know, but Hollywood is telling me that the new fountain of youth comes from the very beginning of youth itself.  So alert the media: the new craze for the beauty-obsessed is placenta facials.

Just to make sure we’re all clear, placenta is a temporary organ joining the mother and fetus. It transfers oxygen and nutrients from the mother to the fetus, and permits the release of carbon dioxide and waste products from the fetus. But don’t worry, the facial itself is “ordinary-smelling.” Phew, because I smelling like afterbirth and fetal waste is the real problem here.

Although it may be vile, placenta is rich in proteins and zinc, so it can’t be discredited just because it came out of someone’s birth canal.  And it’s not like weirder things haven’t happened.

I blame Victoria Beckham. She told the world she was rubbing bird poop on her face and the next thing you know people are scraping fresh droppings off their windshields and saving it for a nighttime facial treatment. I believe this was at the same time people were using bull’s semen as a leave-in conditioner. That just leaves me wondering how said semen was protracted. All kinds of nasty.

Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if there is a rash of Placenta Snatchers showing up bedside at the birth of children everywhere, led by none other than Joan Rivers. Protect your placenta, new mothers.

Oh, the things people will do for beauty.

The stars return for the U.S. premiere.

Who are the hottest vampires in Hollywood?

Why do contraceptives fail?

What did the Kardashian’s really think of Kourtney’s baby?

Lindsay Lohan’s meltdown continues….

Evil soccer player is full of regret….

And it’s Lilo’s sloppy seconds. Though, who isn’t?

Tread lightly, Ryan Seacrest.

Will John McCain fight back against Sarah Palin?

Speaking of Sarah, get the rundown of her interview with Oprah.

5 reasons kissing is good for you!

Wrong goal. Adorable video.

Today was an unfortunate day. While perusing the internet, I ran across a teaser of Levi Johnston’s Playgirl magazine photo shoot. My curiosity got the best of me, and to say it killed the cat is an understatement. I think “made the cat look at a whole lot of nasty testicles…and then killed it” is more accurate.

I followed the link to Playgirl.com and was immediately overwhelmed by peen. (Note: I am not including the link here to spare your eyes.) Never have I ever seen so many schlongs in my entire life. All shapes, sizes and pube lengths; it was like my eyes were under attack by penis-shaped daggers.

This experience did more than force me to fight my natural gag reflex/delete the browsing history on the university computer I was using in the computer lab; it got me thinking about the presence of Playgirl at all. Read More »

GQ magazine has unveiled its annual “Men of the Year” list. They have men in every category from Leader of the Year: Obama, to Badass of the Year: Clint Eastwood. While GQ did a comprehensive job of compiling the best men out there (who will all have starring roles in my sexy dreams tonight), it got me to thinking.

What about Best Gay Man of the Year?

It seems like every day I fall in love with yet another unattainable man. There are just so many of them out there showing off their goodness and reminding me that I can’t get a slice. But I love them anyway. So I decided to compile a wishlist of my favorite gays; the best of the best from all corners of the entertainment biz. And no that does not include Dwight from The Real Housewives of Atlanta. (Editor’s Note: Wait, he’s gay?!) That dude may look great in a pair of heels, but he’s got some real ‘tude that I don’t appreciate. Read More »

Hey there, hot stuff.

And other facts he shared with Jay Leno.

The 10 most obvious reality show one-liners.

Winehouse hospitalized. Not surprising, really.

Beyonce loves the sequins!

How to rock the oversized flannel.

Ew, Michael Lohan, EW!