Wednesday, January 27, 2010: a big day for America.

That’s right, yesterday we witnessed the unveiling of Apple’s latest and greatest: the iPad.

For those of you who have been in a bubble since yesterday (doing homework perhaps?) we’ll put it this way: Kindle+ gameboy +portable DVD player+ internet+ bigger and better APPS = the iPad.  (I figured the math equation would make you feel like you’re doing homework, even though you’re totally procrastinating).  Since yesterday, the iPad has gotten more press than Paris Hilton’s sex tape.  EVERYONE is talking about it.

Oh, what’s that? Something else happened yesterday?
Huh?
What? Read More »

With word that the fun-loving, tan-tastic kids of MTV’s ‘Jersey Shore’ are renegotiating their contracts so that they earn $10,000 per episode in a new season, a few thoughts went through our mind. Firstly: Damn, that’s a lot of money (though with their ratings, we say they deserve it whether they’re buffoons or not). And secondly … what could/should they buy with their newfound wealth?

So, we broke down what could be purchased with one episode’s paycheck ($10k), including some recommendations we think would benefit their next summer in Seaside Heights. Read More »

Yes, we're even better than Barney.

The wingman: a legendary tool of bros worldwide.

Once a key to success, wingmen have become so commonplace (there are even books about their rules and various codes) that even the women preyed on by bros and their wingmen know their lingo and their tactics, making their hard work a big waste of time. If guys want to improve their game and up their chances of wooing a lady, then, they are gonna need to change up their Bro Strategy.

Enter, the Wingwoman.

Wingwomen are the future.  Whereas most women are hip to the movements of wingmen, wingwomen are the stealth operation of the “game,” and the key to successful mingling between the sexes. And not just for the guy we might be wingin’ for; for ourselves, too!

For all of you skeptics out there, I have here for you, the five reasons that wingwomen rock:

1)   We are better with the grenades. So let’s say that this skanky girl is chasing your guy friend around the bar and he can’t seem to shake her loose.  Trying to pawn her off on one of his bros has proved futile, either because she only has eyes for him or because even they won’t take that hit.  What’s a bro to do?  With the wingwoman in their arsenal they need not do anything at all. She just stands near him performs a simple neck stroke or arm-around-the-waist maneuver and that hippo knows this guy is not for the taking. Read More »

It’s Wednesday so you know what that means: another person has been sent home from The Biggest Loser ranch. And, holy hell, that was some serious drama. What is up with the green team? Why are they so mean? Someone needs to sit them down and force them to watch a Titanic, Notebook and Green Mile marathon until they crack and show some damn emotion. I’m not sure if I hate them or the red team more. Or that nasty brown team from the last couples’ season.

OMG, did I just go on a mega Biggest Loser tangent? Wow. I need help. What I meant to say was that it’s Wednesday which means it’s time for another exciting round of Would You Rather….

So let’s forget about The Biggest Loser for now and think of something a little happier (even if it’s far off in the future for many of us). Give us your vote and share your reasoning in the comments. Happy Hump Day!

Would you rather pee on your guy out of excitement when he proposes OR throw up on him out of excitement when he proposes? Read More »

My ideal Friday night.

Riddle me this. Why did no one warn me that 3-day weekends don’t exist in the real world?

Maybe I was naive and in a college bubble, but I truly had no idea that people worked full days on Friday. Like it still blows me away me when my boss gives me a ten page to-do list on Friday at 4:00. By that time I’m in full weekend mode and already planning my outfit for the night. And by outfit for the night, I mean figuring out which pajamas will be the most comfortable while I drink wine alone in my bed.

I can barely get up the energy to go out on both Friday and Saturday anymore. Hell, I barely have the energy to move myself from my couch to my bed at 10 p.m. on Friday night after Ugly Betty is over. I’ve turned into a pathetic version of myself. A version that I’d be hazing and probably rolling my eyes at if I were my former cooler, drunker, college self. I actually enjoy spending my weekend nights eating cookie dough and watching deleted scenes of The Notebook. I’m one Friday-night-in away from buying matching pajama sets. Read More »

Library to yourself? Score.

Endless exams and papers, constant guy drama, grad school applications, a dwindling bank account…the day-to-day worries of our college years often weigh us down.  But too often, we stress about the big issues and totally forget about the little things that make our daily routines bearable…or even great!

1. A Cancelled Class
Your alarm goes off bright and early at 8 a.m. and you can barely open your eyes.  You angrily hit the snooze button, roll over in bed and start thinking about what to wear.  Then your mind runs through all the things you have to do today: 3 classes, gym, library, chapter meeting…ugh. You’d rather stay in bed. Then – BUZZ! – your phone vibrates and you wonder who the hell needs to talk to you this early. Lo and behold, it’s your study buddy letting you know that (gasp) CLASS IS CANCELLED! Your professor is sick/at a family function/whatever, and you can barely read the whole text before you reset your alarm, pull the covers back over your head and sleep for a few more (glorious!) hours.

2. Free Stuff!
Let’s face it, in this economy getting anything for free in college is right up there with Christmas and 21st birthdays. Free short stack day at IHOP, free condoms at Student Health, those Victoria’s Secret coupons for free panties that come in the mail, and (a personal favorite at my campus) free iced coffee day at Dunkin Donuts.  And then there’s all those campus club meetings and fundraisers where they give out free food, and sometimes on hot days, free water bottles! It may not seem like much, but it doesn’t get much better than a free, ice cold water bottle. Read More »

Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so take off those (faux) Burberry ear muffs and tune in.

(Middle-aged lady on the phone, at a bus stop.)

Lady: They fed me. It was like … an orgy. And it was like a lighthouse, guiding all the ships through the night. I was one of those ships.

(High schoolers, playing cards at a coffee shop.)

Girl 1: Okay. What’s on that one?

Guy: Tampons.

Girl 2: What? Why the hell would pirates want tampons?

Guy: To go with the weasels. Read More »

One Friday night after a long week, a couple of friends who live in the next apartment complex threw a party. After getting all dolled up (and taking a few roomie shots), two of my roommates and I headed over with numerous handles of vodka, while the other two headed to a different shindig. Upon our arrival, my boyfriend met us there and all of us decided this was a night to get really, really drunk.

We started taking shots immediately as music blasted and the party got more and more crowded.  It was a small apartment with tons of people inside, making it hard to move around, so logically we just stayed put in the corner we were in… and continued to take shots…for a few hours. We eventually stumbled to another party where my boyfriend and I got separated from our friends and, feeling frisky, decided to just make our way back to my place for a little lovin’.

Things were goin’ well in the bedroom. And by well, I mean crazy. I guess that’s what happens when you’ve got a little too much booze running through your system. We were in the middle of a particularly acrobatic situation when my boyfriend, who I must have been relying on to hold me up, suddenly fell off the bed. Naturally, I went down with him, slamming my head on my dresser along the way. I hit the floor as a searing pain shot through my head and my ear felt like it was on fire. I couldn’t move. I layed there in the fetal position moaning as my boyfriend freaked out. Read More »

Our newsfeeds this week were full of grown people acting like toddlers. News flash: if you’re annoyed by Facebook, log off. Or send your gripes to me (FBWallofShame@collegecandy.com). Trust me, it’s therapeutic.

20-Year-Old Who Still Goes Crying To Her Mommy Neil just dragged me down a flight of stairs by my leg laughing and all my mom has to say is ” Neil dont do that”

Frustrated Frank f*ck you and your punctuation f*ck grammar in general especially on facebook and how the f*ck do you make an event thing with this im like a monkey trying to hump a doorknob over here
Frank’s Friend Well maybe if you were smart enough to use punctuation, you’d be smart enough to use facebook. Read More »

From JWoww.com: “Jenni has created the ultimate in fashionable clothing. She will be reinventing the term “Sexy Sophisticated.” Not only will her line be “Edgy” and “Sexy”, but it will make people of all ages and body type feel more confident in “the scene.” This exclusive line will be limited and custom made to your body type.

I love JWoww as much as the next Guidette, especially after she fist pumped The Situation in the face, but “sexy sophisticated“? For “all ages and body types“?

WTF?