(Two guys, in the lunchroom.) Guy 1: I'll give you a hint. His name rhymes with Awesome. Guy 2: Plawsome. Guy 1: No.
Before my boyfriend and I were "officially" dating, he rarely stayed overnight. He had some weird moral stance on that topic, but it was totally okay to get it on and then peace out. Whatevs. Anyway, the few times he did stay over just happened to be when he mysteriously (and belligerently) found his way by foot, by DD, or by other interesting means of transportation to my dorm.
God, the kiddies sure do have it made. They have no worries other than what cartoon they will watch after school or what Snack Pack they'll throw in their lunchbox. Their homework consists of 10 math problems and they merely have to sit at a table to be fed a full, delicious home cooked meal.
Lonely Lauren i miss laughing with you and feeling like we didn't have to overcome any heartache we caused each other...i just miss you. i miss us. feel so...blah idek what word to use to describe it. Guy Who Posts Outdated, Annoying Song Lyrics he was a boy, she was a girl, can I make it anymore obvious?
• Did Beyonce perform for terrorists?! • Britney's back on the market. • And so is Pamela Anderson. Oooo competition! • Plastic surgery: there's an app for that. • Ew! Morgan Freeman is creepy! • You can never have too much shirtless Ryan Reynolds.
Whew. We have all officially survived the first week of 2010. And if the rest of the year is going to be anything like the past 8 days, I think I'm in for some serious trouble. After a whirlwind New Year's weekend chock full of drinking, celebrating, and more drinking, it took me until yesterday (true story) to get back to normal. I was so tired and out of it all week that I already blew through my Caribou Coffee gift card that I got for Hanukkah.
First it was Paris and Nicole. Then it was Edward and Jacob. Now, it's Conan and Leno. Yup, it seems the late night kings of comedy are splitting the country as they battle it out over air times.
The last decade brought about a wave of liberating changes for women. We stopped wearing pants. We (successfully?) raised children on our own (by choice, or by force). We kissed girls..and Russel Brand (and we liked it. A LOT.). We are so amazing, in fact, that men are starting to get a little jealous.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but most girls only have one vagina, right? I mean, there's not something wrong with me, is there?
As 2009 was coming to a close I vowed that I'd make some big changes for the year to come, namely to act like the adult that I am and not like the rockstar college girl I once was. I told myself I'd drink more responsibly, that I didn't need to get drunk to have fun, and that I might finally be at the age when dancing on stages is no longer socially acceptable.
• Is her stylist on ecstasy? • Who's the biggest ass of 2009? • What do you need to know about spring shoes? • Jay Leno's goin' home....to 11:30 pm. • Got a pimple? Don't pop it! • So this is how Tila Tequila mourns.
• The best credit cards for college kids. • So what's the real story behind Miley's tat? • Who wears that much makeup to work out? • So this is what happens when Tiger runs out of women.... • Mmm. Chris Pine looks good in a suit. • What's up with the spanking?
I promised myself I would not fall head over heels for fist pumping and barber shop outings, but as quickly as you can say "duck phone" I was couldn't stop watching Pauly D burn coal in a gas grill. Thus opening the doors for a new guilty pleasure to enter my life, formally known as The Jersey Shore. If you asked me a month ago if I would be constructing my Guido name on Facebook, I would have told you to go smush yourself.
That seems a little bit backwards, no?
• Is it just me or does she look like a tranny? • Oh no, what's wrong with Gary Coleman? • One Olympian will do anything to win the gold. • What do the stars have in store for Brooke and Charlie Sheen? • Who's Ryan Gosling's new lady? • I think I love drunk Mariah.
Would you rather choose 20 items from your favorite fashion icon's wardrobe to have for free OR have your favorite designer make five pieces just for you?
The holidays are over, winter break is in full swing (or completely over, for some of us) and we no longer have to rely on "MADE" re-runs to satiate our hunger for reality TV. Lots of our favorite (read: guiltiest pleasure) shows are coming back this month.
• Paris Hilton is ready to settle down. • Why nice guys suck. • Miley's boyf is HOT. • How to hone your personal style. • Rihanna gets up close and personal with her new man. • Angie's got nothing on Sandra Bullock.
• A Tiger Woods sex tape? It exists. • Will dishes woo Reese? • Kim Kardashian is one very lucky lady. • What makes the boys nervous in bed? • Dating site dumps the fatties. • Gwen Stefani has the hottest family ever.
I don't make resolutions for the new year. Not only do I know I will not keep them, but I also know that anything important enough to give up on December 31st should probably be given up on any other day. I tried to give up cake once - what a disaster. Just knowing the 31st was coming and that I would soon be without my beloved buttercream sent me on a downward spiral that resulted with me, a fork and a missing Costco sheet cake.
First, every television set in America goes digital, and now TV is going 3D? Yes, people, the future is here. According to MSNBC, ESPN will be the first network to go 3D this June, dubbing their new station ESPN 3D (rather original) and fulfilling every sports fanatic’s wet dream for a decade.
Some days I wake up in my NYC apartment, put on my robe, and walk around with a bowl of oatmeal saying "man oh man, am I real adult or what?" I pay bills, I clip coupons, and I change my sheets on a biyearly basis. It's kinda like I'm checking my mailbox twice a day to see if anyone has sent me an official "you're a functioning grown-up" certificate.
Apparently some lady with a deep love for burritos lost 50 pounds eating Taco Bell (from the drive-thru - homegirl couldn't even get out of the car). And now, thanks to her tremendous success, the head honchos over at Taco Bell HQ are trying to make us all think about Taco Bell in a new way.
• At least their cover model did... • Dawson's got a new job! • Vince Vaughn has officially put a ring on it. • The cutest sweater dresses around. • Welcome back, Kanye West! • Wanna save money on groceries?
Ah, weight loss: the subject that’s sold a thousand glossies. I just got finished reading People magazine’s latest “Half Their Size!” spread, a semi-regular feature that celebrates regular people who have shed an entire person’s worth of pounds.
• Cuz they do. A lot. • Bow Wow is a classy guy. • Tyra Banks was a mean boss? Shocking. • Mac gets warm and cozy this season. • What's the deal with Tila Tequila? • 10 iPhone apps we ladies could all use.
The 90s for me (and most girls) can be summed up into three little words: The Babysitter's Club. Whenever my sparkly pink nail polished hand got a hold on one of those crisp chapter books I was lost for an entire afternoon, dedicated to Claudia's strict parents and Kristy's uber bossiness. That is, until my mother called me down for dinner: mac and cheese and a Swiss Cake Roll.
• Tiger Woods is doin' his girls thang in NYC. • 12 foods for beautiful hair. • Uh oh, Britney's dying her hair again. • These pictures are tripping us out. • Nice outfit, Jennifer Lopez. • 7 resolutions everyone ends up breaking.
This week, after a particularly grueling New Year's Eve spent with 25 people in one tiny house with one tiny bathroom in New England, I had time (a lot) to reflect on my resolutions on the train ride back to NYC. I pondered 2010 and my resolutions between pages of Jen Lancaster's memoirs and occasionally badgering the BF to go fetch me red wine from the bar car on the Amtrak.
(Two girls, walking through the mud after a football game.) Girl 1: I want to make a really inappropriate joke. Girl 2: Is it a Trail of Tears joke? Girl 1: Okay, yeah.
After overstaying my welcome at a friend's New Year's Eve party (read: falling over and taking out the lights and the music with my ass. True story), I decided to cut my losses and head home for the night. My friend with benefits was at a different NYE soiree and informed me via text that he was ready to get outta there and meet me for our own party.
Girl Who's Too Busy Updating Facebook to Enjoy Her Vacation In flordia with my amazing boyfriend who got me a beautiful diamond necklace for xmas :) Girl Who Skipped 3rd Grade Grammar Class ,,liquor makess my blooood run hott;;; strippp downn babbyyy ♥ ;; show mee wutchaa got,
At first glance I thought this was your typical case of a hungry baby gettin' some milk. But the look on that other guy's face tells a much more scandalous story. WTF is really going on here, we'll never know.
As a student at a Big Ten school, football has become my soul purpose in life. From crackin' the first beer in the shower at 6am on game day to FB-stalking the quarterback (shhh!), my world revolves around a bunch of dudes in spandex tackling each other on some astro turf.