Once you reach the age of 16 Halloween has permanently been transformed from a day where you dress up as something disgusting and stuff your face with candy to the one day a year it is socially acceptable to have your lady parts hanging out all over the place (although I’m still a sucker for those gummy eyeballs).
We all come into college fearing that we won’t make a single friend our freshman year. So I patted myself on the back when I found a group of girlfriends that I fit in with right away. But I realized that these were new friends and could change their mind about me at any minute with no remorse, so I was always sure to be on my best behavior.
Poor Mike! He should have known better than to leave his Facebook profile open on someone else’s computer. Usually, I’m pretty unimpressed with jokes that hinge on dudes acting like there’s something inherently hilarious about homosexuality—unless they’re Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd—but this prank is pretty genius.
I totally understand why stars would want to become Chosen People themselves. Our holidays are fun (we’ve got at least two that instruct those celebrating to get hammered), our food is incredible, and we’ve got pretty deep ties to the entertainment industry. Plus, I’m sure they think that doing anything that makes them more like Marilyn Monroe couldn’t hurt.
Yes, that's exactly what it looks like. If it looks like a sex toy, that is. If one tongue (attached to one man) isn't enough for you, now you can have lots and lots of tongues coming at your lady parts in rapid succession.
It wasn't until 3 years ago, at the age of 23, that I realized that a red ring won't show up around you if you pee in my parents' pool. I had been living in that house and swimming in that pool since the age of 6, running into the freezing cold basement and struggling to pull a wet one-piece up over my ass whenever I had to pee, and it took me 17 years to learn that it was all a lie.
I have to admit – it’s becoming somewhat painful to watch Project Runway this season and find things to write about. Unlike seasons past where designers say and do funny things beyond whipping up runway looks, all things more than worthy of writing about, this season is a whole lot of blah. And it’s impossible to write about blah.
• This is the strangest story I've heard all week. • Meghan McCain's got a nice rack. • Usher's ex wife is out to get him. • Bad romantic comedies teach bad dating habits. • What are Lady Gaga and Beyonce planning? • You go, Taylor Swift!
Every college students Saturday schedule is more or less the same: Waste half the day by sleeping until an inappropriately late hour. Stuff your face at the dining hall. Meet the girls for a pregaming/get-ready session and then roll with the punches as you walk out into the night, flask in hand.
Well, watch out girls, because thanks to Calvin Klein, guys could be packing less heat than meets the eye. Mr. Klein, a man I now presume is packing light downtown, has just introduced a new line of jeans with “body defining fit for an enhanced profile.” In layman’s terms, a padded crotch.
• Michael's kids are getting their own reality show. • Tina Fey's long and lonely awkward phase. • Nightclubs are hazardous to women's health. • Why is everyone so mean to Jessica Simpson?? • Yes, you can look cute in the rain. • The Olsen twins' new line makes total sense.
• Who attacks Leona Lewis!? • Are you bad at dating?? • Madonna lets it all out for Rolling Stone. • Get ready - Rihanna's got a new album coming! • Luxe bracelet for less. So hot. • It's not that bad not to want sex. Apparently.
Love 'em or hate em, no one can deny that we are surrounded by the hipster generation these days. We are living and breathing in the second-hand smoke of Parliament Lights everywhere we go. I have spent some time observing them in their natural habitat (dark basements and dive bars in Brooklyn and the entire campus of Virginia Commonwealth University) and have seen the light.
So The Hills was on last night. 22 minutes of bikinis, bitching and Spencer in a cowboy hat. And seriously, that’s about it. While I usually stare at the TV open-mouthed at the absurd drama happening over in Hollywood, last night I just sat there, eyes glazed over with that “Whaaaa?” look you’d expect to find on Caitlin Upton’s face.
All the artists this week make me happy. Even when the songs are sad, I'm happy. And I think that's a sign of a truly great artist; they can sing about the saddest things in love and still put a smile on my face. And sometimes you just need music to comfort you and make you feel good. Like during midterms after spending 6 straight hours at the library and you're only a third of the way through your reading.
• Leighton Meester's got a new jam. • Is Mariah preggers? In Touch thinks so. • 5 friends every woman needs. • Robert Pattinson needs a snuggle buddy. • Everyone needs a little lace this winter. • Miley doesn't Tweet or tip.
If you're an addicted iPhone user like myself, you might like to keep up on all the hot goss on new apps. No? Just me? Super dorky? Fine. But even if you don't own an iPhone, you should still check out this new app that Pepsi has launched for their energy drink, Amp.
Just when I had thought society had told it’s last ‘women in the kitchen’ joke, the children’s toy “My Cleaning Trolley” labeled “Girls Only” was released. At first I was offended at the sight of the pink cart filled with cleaning supplies that seemed to advocate an outdated ideal of a woman’s place in the household, but then I began to look on the bright side.
Recalling my Halloweens past, my costumes of choice were a far cry from what teens these days are wearing. And what is it they are slipping into on Halloween? Not witch hats and devil ears. No, upon perusing the aisles at my local Halloween store I learned that the middle schoolers are taking a hint from their big sisters/Paris Hilton and getting into the spirit...of looking skanky.
• Heidi Klum gives birth to a little girl! • The Kardashian's are designing for Bebe. • Jon Gosselin is becoming a Jew?? • Need a Halloween costume? Make one yourself! • Manage your time and kick some academic booty. • A first kiss...at 42-years-old.
Call me a sap all you want, but there were tears this week. Real ones. First they were tears of frustration and anger - crying because the scene that I have been anticipating for weeks, when Rufus and Lily finally discover that Scott is their son, was squished into some 15 second clip where Georgina walks by and breezily mentions it.
• We didn't think it would happen either. • Um, what is going on here, Akon?? • Who wants to see Tara Reid naked? • Woman arrested for Facebook poking. • Lady Gaga fights for gay rights. • No Glee at Thanksgiving this year.
So, if you haven’t already heard, the new cover girl of Playboy magazine is…wait for it….Marge Simpson. Not the first person we think of when considering sexy women. But I suppose those long legs, that voluminous hair and those big alluring eyes could do the trick. This got us thinking: if men can ogle cartoon women then we sure as hell can drool over some hunky cartoon men. And there are plenty to choose from.
Hey! Today is a holiday! And it must be a pretty big one since every furniture/electronics store in my state is having a huge sale! I am not sure why Christopher Columbus would warrant 50% off on all bedroom sets (especially considering the controversy that surrounds him), but I am sure he's really honored by it all.
• David Hasselhoff gets drunk, punches doctor. Awesome. • College editor forced to resign for a too-sexy article. • Lindsay Lohan acts like she's over acting. • Get rid of those raccoon eyes. • Amy Winehouse has some new friends. • Let's get creative with those sexy Halloween costumes.
As a dedicated Halloween goer-over-the-topper, my mother never once let me buy my costume. In fact, to this day, I can admit that I've only had one store-bought costume as of last year: Whoremione Granger. That's it. And I still regret it to this day. Guilty of some of the below?
(Girl, talking to friends.) Girl: I always imagined that you could just use the Force on your shoes, and fly. But then I guess you'd have to use the Force on all your other clothes, too, or you'd just be getting dragged around the sky by your feet.
I elbowed my way to the bar, giving fake happy kisses to every camp/youth group/high school "friend" I saw along the way. They all wanted to catch up (and tell me how great I looked!), but I had one thing in mind: vodka. That is until I spotted, across the room, my camp crush. I met him when I was 14 and fell truly, madly, deeply in love with him. He was super tall, super hot and the object of every single girl's affection.
• Rihanna is NOT dating Justin Timberlake, OK? • Jail time for Soulja Boy. • Looks like I have something in common with Hilary Swank. • That's the most annoying word? Psssh. Whatever. • Daniel Radcliffe heads back to Broadway. Minus the nudity.
It’s hard not to smile when you first see this now-notorious picture from last month’s Glamour. Whether fashion mags are just trying to cash in on a long-neglected market or they’re actually making a concentrated effort to diversify their glossy pages, it’s incredibly refreshing to see a “plus-sized” woman with a tiny paunch being portrayed as confident and sexy.
The good news: Someone might surprise you by presenting you with a tray of cupcakes today! The unsettling news: That person might be a part of the “Cupcakes for Life” movement, a group of pro-lifers dedicated to making people feel uncomfortable via free baked goods.
When I heard this morning that Barack Obama had been awarded this year’s Nobel Peace Prize, I was pretty much speechless. I’m not entirely sure how to react to this announcement.
Is it just me, or is something seriously wrong here? How this chick holds that giant head up with that tiny little body is beyond me. Good work, Ralph. Good to see you're designing clothes for the real woman.
College life offers students experiences they would never have anywhere else, mostly because having people lift your legs while you hold onto a keg and drink beer for as long as you can isn't really socially acceptable anywhere else. Nor is reviewing your text messages from the night before to figure out what you did after leaving the house.