My favorite headlines are, and no I’m not joking, “Is Everything Better With a Monkey?” “We Go Camping at Occupy Wall Street!” and “Women Who Want to Use You For Sex (and Where to Meet Them).” February is also a bonus month for our favorite men’s magazine, it comes with a “Hometown Hotties” insert in Maxim Lingerie talking about their favorite things to wear during sexy time.

Everyone’s doing it. You could say it’s becoming a trend, really. What am I talking about? You guessed it: divorce. While I would never wish the pains of a divorce on anyone (my parents got a divorce and it was horrible), there are some celebrity couples that just kinda need to…end it.

Award season never fails to provide an endless array of best and worst fashion critiques. We won’t pretend to be above it. The 2012 SAG Awards had more than a few interesting wardrobe decisions to consider.

It’s pretty well known that the Superbowl features some of the best TV ads of the year. Most of those ads involve beer, scantily clad women…or both. Really exciting for your guy friends, not so exciting for you. But this year, H&M is looking out for us ladies, because their ad features a scantily clad man!

On Saturday, Christina Aguilera performed a tribute at Etta James’s funeral in Los Angeles. She sang “At Last,” Etta’s most famous song. But even though she sounded great, the crowd was distracted by something. Christina had some kind of weird, brownish fluid dripping down her legs.

Halle Berry’s custody battle with ex Gabriel Aubry is getting ugly. The couple’s nanny has accused Aubry of being abusive toward his daughter Nahla, and now the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services is recommending that the three-year-old go to counseling. Things sound pretty rough for Nahla, and she’s not alone.

I bought a day-by-day calendar all about being assertive and basically saying “No, thank you” more (but without the ‘thank you’ part). And by “assertive,” I mean it’s filled with hysterical quotes about how it’s okay to be super-bitchy, because we all have those day/moments/weeks/lifetimes…when we need to insert an extra NO! into one thing or another.

We wanted to wish Oprah the happiest of birthdays by showing you guys some of the best Oprah impressions. So now you too can celebrate the birth of the woman who made Tom Cruise jump on a couch and basically told us all who the President of the United States would be before any of us had a clue.

Please: just work with me. I am trying to help you; I am on your side! I guess I should start with an apology, or two. I’m sorry I burn you, cut you and tie you up. I’m sorry I color you, curl you, straighten you and harass you in countless other ways. If it’s any consolation I do it out of love.

Our friends have different personalities when they drink. You have the friend that suddenly becomes really funny, the friend that becomes a total jerk, the friend who becomes a photographer.