Gotta load on the makeup for the big night....in.

When it comes to beauty, I’m pretty low-maintenance. I never really learned how to put on eyeliner because I’m afraid I’ll poke myself in the cornea, I can’t get the knack of painting the nails on my right hand, and I’m too impatient to slap on anything more than Chapstick and maybe mascara, if I’m feeling fancy, in the morning.

So to me, articles (or even videos) about how to get the perfect smoky eye or choose the right mineral foundation for your skin tone or make yourself look like a tiger or whatever aren’t generally that interesting. Even so, I can understand that there are plenty of industrious girls out there who actually find beauty tips useful.

And I’ve certainly got nothing against beauty hounds. In fact, I envy their hand-eye coordination and perseverance—while I’m embarrassed about the bags beneath my baby blues but too lazy to actually do anything about them, those girls always look effortlessly put-together.

But a four-page photo spread that I came across in the latest issue of Glamour crosses the line between giving helpful pointers and doling out straight-up bad advice. The piece, which unfortunately isn’t available online, is called “Have a Gorgeous Night… In.” Here’s its introductory paragraph:

“You’re young, you’re hot—you should not be in a Snuggie! The next time you and your guy are just hanging out at home together, try these undeniably sexy beauty ideas. And have fun!” Read More »

Lady Gaga’s video for Bad Romance is hard to forget and impossible to top. Or is it? A few kids armed with a video camera and a little too much time on their hands (thanks to an extended winter break, I presume) remade the legendary video in all its weird and creepy glory. And, damn, they did it well.

Sure, the wardrobe budget was a little tighter in this home video (they replaced Alexander McQueen with a Walmart shopping bag), but even Gaga gave them props for their dedication to the original masterpiece.

Who knew a guy could make such a good Gaga?

We tip our hat to thee, Bad-Romance-Video-Kids. Way to use your time well instead of lying on the couch watching Law and Order: SVU marathons like the rest of us.

Every week, I write a list. Okay, let’s cut the crap, we all get it by now. Every Monday morning at 9 AM you can count on a Weekly Ten from Melanie – Northeastern University popping onto your Google Reader or whatever you use to read the beloved CollegeCandy.

Anyway, these lists (lately) have been pretty mild and have settled down since my hipster-hating era. Let’s chalk that one up to me getting laid more frequently these days. Hurray! (Although, hipsters, I still am NOT impressed.)

This is not one of those lists. This week I have been pretty ticked off about, I don’t know, everything? I’d like to blame my new birth control but who knows? It could just be the weather or the fact that I fell on my face in front of about thirty people the other night when I attempted to drunkenly pounce someone and now my knee really, really hurts and I’m cranky about it and the only way I can make myself feel better is to dress up celebrities on Stardoll.com (Yes, I am aware that I’m 21 and, no, I do not care).

It does not matter. Here are the top ten things that annoy me, without fail.

10. Empty boxes left in the pantry or snack drawer at work
What the eff? When I want a granola bar and I see a box in the cupboard, I expect there to be a granola bar INSIDE the box. How hard is it to throw away an empty box after eating the last delicious S’Mores Luna bar? Seriously.

9. Ironing
Okay, can anyone else relate to this? I just feel like I’m pushing wrinkles to different spots. Extra annoying if I’m not even ironing my own clothes because for some reason I’m the designated laundry bitch in my relationship. I feel like Paris Hilton trying to be domestic – no skills. Read More »

Week after week (after week after week…), CollegeCandy and our pal John bring you some of the weirdest, funniest, and saddest things he hears on his college campus. And we know he’s not the only one who hears this stuff. Join the Overheard revolution! Listen in on some weirdos’ conversations and share them in the comments or send ‘em over. You know there’s a lot of funny things to be heard on your campus, so get listening.

(Girl, guy at a basketball game.)

Girl: Oh, man, I can almost taste that KFC.

Guy: No. No, do not taste it.

(Girl, two guys at a party.)

Guy 1: Well, I mean, like, I’ve never done … water sports.

Girl: Water sports? What’s water sports?

Guy 2: You know, like, swimming, diving, water-skiing.

Guy 1: Uh, dude. Read More »

Before my boyfriend and I were “officially” dating, he rarely stayed overnight. He had some weird moral stance on that topic, but it was totally okay to get it on and then peace out. Whatevs. Anyway, the few times he did stay over just happened to be when he mysteriously (and belligerently) found his way by foot, by DD, or by other interesting means of transportation to my dorm.

On this particular night, Alex (names have been changed) called me to come let him into my dorm. I didn’t realize how truly schmammered he was until I found him hiding behind the vending machine waiting to jump out and scare me. He picked me up and proceeded to carry me into the elevator. Thank God he didn’t try to carry me up the three flights of stairs to my room.

As Alex drunkenly tried to make out with me in the elevator, I already knew this would be a long night. I was particularly upset because I had an 8am class the next morning and it was already 1:30. We finished the journey to my room and I begged him to be quiet as to not wake my roommates. After yelling “OKAY!” I shoved him into my room. Read More »

God, the kiddies sure do have it made. They have no worries other than what cartoon they will watch after school or what Snack Pack their mom threw in their lunchbox. Their homework consists of 10 math problems and they merely have to sit at a table to be fed a full, delicious home cooked meal.

And sometimes amidst classes and internships and jobs and scrounging around our kitchens for something to eat before our 6-hour library run we all have a pang of longing for that time in our lives. The days when we could sleep all day and not feel guilty that we missed a lecture, a study group and a day’s worth of quality homework progress. And then wake up, have mom make us a snack and drive us to the movies (where she’ll buy the ticket).

But while we do have a ton of responsibility now that we are “grown ups,” we also have a ton of new privileges now that the parentals aren’t breathing down our necks. And let me tell you – I’d trade in my Barbie Jeep for my curfew-less existence any day.

We can eat ice cream for breakfast
Far gone are the days of mom force-feeding us spinach and carrots, taunting us with the fact that we aren’t going to get that scrumptious brownie if we don’t finish all of our dinner. If I want to eat a bag of chips and chocolate cake for lunch, then I’m going to and there’s no one to stop me. Major plus for the grown ups.

We can live in a pigsty
When you played with your toys your mom would inevitably come in screaming that it looked like a tornado had ran through the room. Then she counted down from ten as you jumped into action picking up all of our Barbies and Beanie Babies. Not anymore. Want to toss your jeans over there? Done. That empty cereal bowl on the couch? Totally fine. (That is…until she comes to visit.) Read More »

Apparently, 2010 is not the year we move beyond pointless and redundant status updates.

Girl Who Should Delete Her Facebook Instead of Updating Her Status I have nearly 600 friends on here, but I barely talk to anyone on here. it’s just turned into a means of procrastination that nobody looks at rather than a means of communication. I think my new years resolution should be to delete it…

Dieting Diana is currently a whale and pissed off at herself for it and she WILL fit perfectly into all of her Christmas presents! Not even going to wait till the new year… new diet and exercise tactics start right now!

Girl Who Still Uses “is” Even Though It’s Not Required And Makes No Sense is one day I will look at you and go “Just because you’re sleeping with him doesn’t mean you’re dating him…” hahaha

Clingy Cassidy in bed, hubby isnt here and its freeezzingg ): wtf is wrong with this pictureee Read More »

Guys want Spanx, too!

The last decade brought about a wave of liberating changes for women. We stopped wearing pants. We (successfully?) raised children on our own (by choice, or by force). We kissed girls..and Russel Brand (and we liked it. A LOT.). We are so amazing, in fact, that men are starting to get a little jealous.

With every new year in the 2000’s (is that what we’re officially calling them?), new products for men come out that bring us one step closer to finally closing the gender gap that has existed since the beginning of time…and confirming the fact that Freud totally had the penis envy thing all wrong. Read More »

Correct me if I’m wrong, but most girls only have one vagina, right? I mean, there’s not something wrong with me, is there?

Here come the bad decisions!

As 2009 was coming to a close I vowed that I’d make some big changes for the year to come, namely to act like the adult that I am and not like the rockstar college girl I once was. I told myself I’d drink more responsibly, that I didn’t need to get drunk to have fun, and that I might finally be at the age when dancing on stages is no longer socially acceptable.

And then I found myself making out with my really close guy friend a mere 45 minutes into the new year.

(Well, there’s always next year I guess!)

After we both came to our senses and realized what was going on (aided by another friend walking in, laughing, and taking pictures) we went our separate ways. And by “separate ways,” I mean “to get more booze.”  Word spread that we had gotten a little gropey on his bed and my girlfriends started accosting me. “I’m drunk!” I explained. “It’s not a big deal.”

And they totally understood.

The truth is, we all do dumb things when we’re drinking. It’s part of what makes drinking so much fun! No? Just me? Well, at least the dumb things we do are more understandable. Just ask Jamie Fox. So instead of hiding that ish and pretending you can’t remember it (we’re onto you) why not share it with your friends here at CollegeCandy? Below, the CC writers share their fondest (if not haziest) dumb-drunk moments. Share your own (you know you’ve got plenty!) in the comments section below. Read More »