We let orgasms have too much power. If we don’t have them, we stress ourselves out and having one starts to seem like a chore instead of a pleasure. If our partners don’t have them, we start second-guessing our sexy talents. And if our partners (particularly the ones of the male variety) have one too soon, they’re basically devalued as being viable, legitimate sexual partners.

Men and women operate differently. That’s an understatement if I ever heard one, but really it’s the simplest way to explain a complicated situation. It’s an answer to anage-old question. It’s the reasoning behind Men are From Mars and Women are From Venus. It’s not an absolute, that’s for sure. But for the most part men and women operate on very different wave lengths for a number of different reasons.

I’ll be the first to admit I hate change. I hate moving, I hate updating the apps on my iPhone, and I hated that Oxygen canceled my favorite guilty pleasure show (Drop Dead Diva anyone?). And yet, this past week I’ve moved from my Texas hometown to New York City, said goodbye to the guy I’d been dating as he set off to begin his career a 12-hour time difference away and packed my life into a suitcase (or three) diving right into purely terrifying, unrefined change.

Without a doubt, one of the best ways to improve the quality of your sex life is engaging in foreplay. A lot of sex advice articles focus on the fact that many women need foreplay in order to orgasm, which I think is kind of a restrictive and pressure-fueled way to approach it.

I’m about to admit something that I’m not even a little bit proud of: I’ve been going through my boyfriend’s phone and reading his text messages. And before everyone gets all judgmental on my paranoid ass, I’m sure that more than half of you can admit to doing the same exact thing at least once, if not on a regular basis. The thing is, I’ve recently realized that completely disregarding my boyfriend’s trust and going through his phone like a crazy woman isn’t helping me feel any better about anything.