Where Did All The Women In Movies Go?

Despite so many epic films with female leads like The Hunger Games, Bridemaids and Twilight, no one is writing roles for women. Shocking! To no one with eyes.

Man Gets Back at His Girlfriend by Cutting of His Own Penis

Why you might ask? Apparently, his girlfriend had been getting on his nerves about his drinking problem and instead of say, trying not to drink so much, the man grabbed a pair of scissors off of the table and ran to the bathroom to cut off his penis.

Jaden Smith Wants Mansion & Emancipation For 15th Birthday [Candy Dish]

My Super Duper Sweet 16

Angelina Jolie Had Double Mastectomy For Good Reason [Candy Dish]

Angelina had both of her breasts removed to prevent cancer.

Gas Pump Karaoke, Just What the World Needed [Current Events Cheat Sheet]

Yup, it’s news time. Here are the week’s top stories.

Kanye Walks Into Pole, Yells At Paparazzi Instead Of Pole

The fury of a thousand Kanyes in just one Kanye.

CEO Of Abercrombie & Fitch Doesn’t Want Fat Customers [Sugar Binge]

The creepy looking 68-year-old CE, Mike Jeffries, told Salon in 2006 that he only wants pretty, skinny popular kids to shop A&F.

Breaking: Students At Cooper Union Have Overtaken The School’s President’s Office

Students are outraged because the school that promised a free education is now charging them tuition.

The Farrah Abraham Porno Has Sold More Than Kim K.’s Sex Tape

A star is born.

Coachella Attendees Like Bands So Unique They Aren’t Even Real [Current Events Cheat Sheet]

Today is my LAST day of college classes ever. Happy summer, everybody! Here are the week’s top stories.

Amanda Bynes Reveals Nose Job, Continues To Shock Internet

She had a webbed nose?

Check Out The Cast Of The New TLC Biopic [Sugar Binge]

The movie is called ‘Crazy, Sexy, Cool: The TLC Story and will explore the band’s beginnings in Atlanta, their rise to fame as one of the best-selling female groups in history and the events leading up to Left Eye’s death.

Danny Brown Had Oral Sex Forcefully Performed On Him By A Fan [Sugar Binge]

Was he sexually assaulted?

Farrah Abraham Tries To Defend Porno, Is Inarticulate

In between “likes” and lip smacking, Farrah Abraham tries to defend her decision to sell her sex tape *cough* porno *cough*.

The 10 Best Lord Tyrion Quotes To Celebrate His New Book

George R R Martin has announced a new book about Lord Tyrion called, “The Wit And Wisdom Of Lord Tyrion.”

President Obama Reveals His New Entrance Music [Current Events Cheat Sheet]

Passing a swim test is a graduation requirement at my school (for real), and I officially passed the test over the weekend. I am accepting congratulatory gifts. Here are the week’s top stories.