How cute is this guy?

Question for La Tuff?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and, you know, she might answer you and shoop.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I have been seeing this guy at school on-and-off since the beginning of the school year. He’s a freshman, I’m a sophomore. At the beginning, we hit it off great for about three weeks, and then he felt that he needed to keep his options open as a freshman–which I understood and let it go. He came back around Thanksgiving time and told me he wanted to start seeing me again, and I agreed. Things went great for a while, he called/texted me often over our month-long winter break, and I thought he seemed pretty into me. So, naturally, when we got back for spring semester, we were pretty into each other and he eventually asked me to be his girlfriend. Read More »

What is Valentine’s Day really about?

Romance?  No.
Chocolate?  No again.
Flowers?  Absolutely not.

Traditionally, Valentine’s Day is about spending two weeks trying to find the perfect gift for your boyfriend or girlfriend and often failing miserably. Then spending another two weeks talking about said failure with your friends. It’s exhausting and its not what should be occupying your time.

This year, instead of you and your partner both exerting your energy worrying about getting each other the “perfect gift,” why not focus on gifts you can share together? It takes the stress off of your shoulders and brings the focus back to what this holiday is really about: spending time with the one you luuuurve.

Sexy Lingerie. While possibly a little bit cliché, this gift will always work (especially when you bust it out again in March, April…you get the point).  You get to look really hot in some expensive Victoria’s Secret get-up and he gets to get hot when he sees you. Then you both get to enjoy what happens next. And again in the morning.

Weekend Getaway. If you’ve been dating for a long time and you want to do something ultra romantic, plan a weekend trip to a bed-and breakfast.  Spend the days wandering in and out of shops in the cozy little town and the nights snuggling in your quaint little room. If that’s too much to plan, booking a nice hotel in your college town for the night is a cheaper and easier alternative. It may not seem like much, but it’s amazing what a clean room without roommates can do. Read More »

Hey Dude,
(Remember that show? Ha.)

Recently I had what I assumed was my first legit one-night stand.  Chatted up a friend of a friend at a bar, decided to accept his invitation to go home with him. In the morning as I was getting ready to leave for work, he mentioned that “we’re going to a party tonight, give us a call.” I assumed this meant him and the mutual friend and was probably just him saying it to make me feel less awkward about last night, especially since I didn’t have his number.  But a little later he mentioned hanging out that night again, asked if I had his number and then wrote it down for me.  After work I gave him a call but he didn’t answer.  I left a message with my name saying if had been wondering what was going on that night and that I’d talk to him later, and never heard back from him.  Should I try calling again or just let it go as a one night thing?

- Clueless Read More »

Valentine’s Day usually includes a whole lotta red. But why not make it a little Green this year? If you’re still looking for the perfect gift idea or V-Day plan – or if your original plan upped your Carbon Footprint by, like, 10 tons – try these earth friendly ideas on for size.

Send an Earth Friendly Card: One billion cards are sent every Valentine’s Day. Lay those puppies down side by side and you could circle the earth five times! Instead of heading to your local Hallmark and taking part in the clearing of unnecessary trees, why not send a card on recycled paper? Or, better yet, a plantable card; when V-Day is long past, your special someone can just pop that card in the ground and watch your love blossom. (That was just too easy.)

Cook Dinner At Home: No need to waste precious gas by driving to a restaurant. Try something different – and far more romantic – and cook a candlelit dinner at home. Getting your produce and meat from a Farmer’s Market is a great idea as everything is locally grown, usually without those pesky pesticides. And those romantic candles will set the mood and eliminate the energy wasted by overhead lighting!

Read More »

Got a question for Tuffaleh?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com for answerundos.

I’m just going to be blunt here: why do we feel the need to pretend we don’t know what we want?

I’m serious. Whether we’re looking for friends with benefits or a one night stand or – worst of all – an actual relationship, we’re terrified to openly admit it. We don’t want to be viewed as clingy or slutty or any other label that will send the guy running for the hills.

Because that’s what it comes down to, isn’t it? The reason we’re so scared to say what we’re thinking? That once we do, once we admit what we’ve been praying they’ll pick up on telepathically, the guy in question is going to reject us so quickly we’ll practically see a blur as he leaves?

Not that we should want to be with a guy like that anyway. But the problem is we do want this guy – in some capacity – and we don’t want to know if the word “boyfriend” is repulsive to him. And society (and possibly some past experiences) has taught us that the words “relationship,” “boyfriend,” and “girlfriend” are instant boy repellent.

I’d been sort of seeing a friend of mine for about a month-and-a-half and before we left for winter break, I tried to be honest with him: I couldn’t deal with the crazy back-and-forth anymore, with him acting like we were in a relationship one day, then actively avoiding me the next. Or hugging and kissing me around strangers and my friends, but literally dropping my hand and stepping away when we saw one of his. I was so proud of myself for actually having the nerve to tell him all of this, and to go one step further and flat-out tell him that I wasn’t sure what he wanted, but I wanted a- Read More »

I can’t speak for every school, of course, but at Columbia, it’s hard out there for a single girl. According to statistics I made up just now, approximately half the guys at this place are gay, thirty percent of them are in long-term relationships, and the remaining twenty are generally kinda weird. (Many in a cute way, but some in a… not so cute way.) The fact that there’s an all-girls’ college right across the street doesn’t help matters.

With all that in mind, I’m certainly open to hearing tips on how to successfully snag a dude. So when I saw an article on marieclaire.com called “How to Date Like a Man,” I was intrigued.

The piece starts out pretty innocuously: “When you walk into a place, act like you know where the hell you’re going, even if you don’t. Everyone will wonder who you are and why you’re there, but they’ll never think you’re useless and confused,” writes Erin Dailey in her first paragraph. Okay, so far, so sensible. Looking confident and carefree is definitely more attractive than looking frightened and meek. It’s a little irksome that Dailey genders confidence as a masculine trait, but whatevs, I won’t fight it.

After that, though, things start to get a little iffy. Dailey tells women that once they’ve found a hottie, they should “look him straight in the eye and think, You should be attached to my lips by now; why aren’t you? Trust me, he’ll read your thoughts like they’re projected above your head on a wide-screen.”

Hm… I don’t know about this one. It seems like if you’re giving a guy a crazy, unblinking stare, he’s most likely going to think, What’s up with Captain Bug Eyes? and back away slowly. That sample thought—“You should be attached to my lips by now”—and the title of this section of the article, “Eye Your Prey,” also give this piece of advice a seriously creepy vibe. Dailey sounds like she’s decided to make Samantha Jones her personal man-handling guru, which makes her suggestions seriously suspect.

And things just go downhill from here. Dailey’s next bit of wisdom is to “fake interest” in whatever the dude is talking about, since “no one cares about what anyone else has to say. They just don’t.” Ouch, man. Why bother chatting up a guy if you have to feign enthusiasm for whatever he’s talking about? How could you form a relationship with someone you find totally boring? This just sounds mean.

Finally, Dailey tells us what to do after we have sex with the dude (because you should have sex with him immediately, since “that’s pretty much all they want from you until they get to know you.” And presumably letting him get to know you is like, too time-consuming or something?): “Never exchange all your information. This is so incredibly important. Give him your name. Give him a fake cell number. In this age of the Internet, anyone can find you if they want to.”

See, if you do give him your real cell number, “he will call you.” But… isn’t that the point? How are the two of you going to go out on another date if he can’t get in touch with you? I’m not the only one who thinks this sounds totally bizarre, right?

Maybe this article is actually supposed to be brilliant satire, and I’m too dense to recognize it. Maybe the title is just a little misleading; if it were changed to “How to Date Like a Douchebag,” or maybe “How to Score a One-Night Stand,” these tips would make a lot more sense. As advice for the date-seeking woman, though, Dailey’s piece falls flat. It’s also kind of offensive to guys, since in her eyes, “dating like a dude” means acting like a total a**hole. Thanks but no thanks, Marie Claire.

V-Day season is upon us again, and even though I’m in a relationship this year, I still feel like I want to punch people whenever I see little red hearts dotting store windows. I’m not a big proponent of the “show your love for someone by throwing money at him” school of thought. I am, however, all for gifts that are thoughtful, useful, and CHEAP.

Hearing me out? Read on.

- If you want to go traditional, mix up the monotony. Candy and flowers are nice and don’t break the bank, but apparently they are not great for the planet, so why not choose something a bit different this year? A box of fair-trade, organic chocolates won’t run you more than 20 bucks, and they’re made with more care and better-quality ingredients than that Russell Stover collection.

- Does your boo like to spin the tunes? Make him a mix CD. I know, I know—that’s so sixth grade—but really, it’s a very thoughtful gift that can’t come from anyone except you. Go through your playlist and mountains of CDs to pick out songs that remind you of that special someone, burn ‘em off, and make a pretty liner and cover for the CD. Done! Read More »

Yo Dude,

I’m just going to start this off by saying that I have no game, whatsoever.  I think this is mostly due to the fact that I’m pretty shy and don’t really speak up when I want something.  If I meet a guy that is good looking or seems nice, I normally won’t go after him unless he shows some interest first.  Unfortunately, this has landed me in a rut lately and I’m finding myself in a situation that I need to take charge of.

I recently met a guy (who just so happens to be my neighbor in my apartment) and I feel like nothing is going to happen if I don’t do something first.  But the problem is I don’t know what to do!  Asking him to come over and hang out just seems silly to me yet the most logical since we live right next to each other.

Dude, can you help me with my game?  I hate putting myself out there but I want to get to know this guy!  Or any guy for that matter!

Sincerely,
Gameless Read More »

Question for Tuffy?! Email her at TuffyLuv@collegecandy.com and leave a message at the BEEEEEEP.

Tuffy Question: Hey, where all the lesbians at?! How come I never hear from you girls?!

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and we are just crazy about each other, but we are still virgins.  We were originally saving our virginity for religious/moral reasons, but we both changed our minds on that and want to have intercourse now.  However, we each live in our parents’ homes and his family is super-religious.  And if someone finds out, both of us will be in deep trouble.  Apart from simply waiting, what can we do?

–All revved up with nowhere to go

Dear Revved,

What can you do?! Why, many a thing, young lass! Let’s see–

But first, let lil’ ol’ Tuffy just lil’ ol’ say: ALWAYS USE CONDOMS. In EVERY situation. In ANY genital exchange, with ANY gender. Okay?! CONDOMS. CONDOMS CONDOMS CONDOMS.

Okay, that said, first, I want to say that I am writing this advice to you, girl, assuming that you are of consenting age. Okay? Please, young ‘uns, wait till you’re ready. You should never feel pressure to have sex before YOU are ready to do it. No one tells you what to do with your body–you are your own and only your own.

So, now the fun! Things you can do: Read More »