If you have yet to endure the torture that is a Nicholas Sparks movie marathon, I highly suggest you look into it purely as a service to yourself. Though the sappy movies seem out of place in single girl world, they’re actually a pretty effective learning tool – of what not to do.

Sex can breed a lot of things – familiarity, contempt, intimacy, orgasms, babies, hysterically awful stories to tell your friends… but the association with sex I want to address this week is insecurity. That crippling insecurity that a fellow CC writer detailed struck a nerve with me, and I’m sure many of you as well.

Dear Dude, I’m having some trouble figuring out what the guy I’m dating wants. We’ve been dating for a month now; he plays in my band and we met in February. He started flirting with me, chatting all the time and texting, until we finally kissed a month ago and we started dating. The problem is that he never had a serious relationship before, so he has no clue!

When I graduated from college, I told myself that I was never going to behave the way I had for the past four years. Especially since I was no longer going to be attending Thirsty Thursdays, Wasted Wednesdays and Tipsy Tuesdays, and there weren’t horny boys lurking around every corner. Essentially, ‘hooking up,’ in all of its glory, was taking a gracious bow out of my life.

“Oh! Oh my God! I’m about to… Oh God, Gerard!”
OH. MY. GOD. Did I really just say that? Did I really just call my boyfriend of nine months Gerard Butler? What was I thinking?

I can vividly remember buying my first thong. I was at the mall with my BFFs and they were going on and on about how much guys love them and “OMG, they are SO comfortable!” I started thinking about my crush Joey (aren’t all high school crushes named Joey?) and how he’d fall madly in love with me once he saw me bend over and my hot pink thong peek out over the top of my low-rise jeans.

Dear Tuffy Luv,
I’ve never wanted a relationship. I mean, I’m 19 years old, why should I? Now, dating, that’s where it’s at. But I keep finding myself in sticky situations. I’ll be seeing a guy and he’ll bring up the “exclusive” conversation when, wait a second, weren’t we diggin’ this whole casual thing two dates ago?

Sex. It’s a love-hate relationship. While it should be “love at first orgasm,” all the bending and unflattering positions have me thinking more about my body than about the big “O.” And then there’s my ability to perform – am I good? Am I bad? Am I so bad that he tells all his friends about it? Does he notice me lying there thinking about all these things?

Diane Farr has had her fair share of life experience. From starring in Showtime’s Californication to CBS’s NUMB3RS Farr is known for being an accomplished actress, but now Farr can add accomplished author to her resume as well. In her two published books, The Girl Code and Kissing Outside the Lines, and her third, Shades of America, on the way, Diane delves into the world of dating, dealing with issues that go far beyond is he or isn’t he interested …

I’m about to admit something that I’m not even a little bit proud of: I’ve been going through my boyfriend’s phone and reading his text messages. And before everyone gets all judgmental on my paranoid ass, I’m sure that more than half of you can admit to doing the same exact thing at least once, if not on a regular basis. The thing is, I’ve recently realized that completely disregarding my boyfriend’s trust and going through his phone like a crazy woman isn’t helping me feel any better about anything.