Ever since I saw the Anchor’s Away episode on ‘Sex And The City,’ I’ve wanted to experience Fleet Week in New York City. Samantha Jones has an uncanny way of making everything sexed-up and glamorous. She didn’t have to work too hard to convince me to fantasize about a man in uniform. Especially those white Navy uniforms. Let’s just pause for a moment to appreciate those.

So how do you make that fantasy a reality? How do you actually snag yourself a Navy Seal for the week? Beyond having a vagina, I’m not sure it’s much work. However, CollegeCandy has put together a little guide in case you’re not convinced.

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Get out there and have some fun, girls! And tell us your stories in the comments below!

Last week, I realized that I’ve basically (and pathetically) dabbled in online dating since I had access to a laptop. You guys remember Tagged? In middle school, I talked to a high school football player for precisely one week. I was so proud of myself – I even printed out his picture to show to my friends! Eventually, he stopped answering my calls and sent a culminating email calling the whole thing off. At least they learn early, right?

In the ninth grade, I had a Myspace fauxlationship with another guy. We exchanged messages for a good two months…can you believe that I actually considered him my boyfriend?! I was number two on his Top 8…a very big deal, indeed. And now as a college junior, every single date I’ve been on – all two of them – were provided by the net.

I really should close my damn laptop and give this stuff a rest, but I have two good reasons that stop me from shutting down. Dating online is so much easier for me because I’m chronically shy. I’d probably drink unfiltered Hudson River water before approaching a guy in class or at the bar. I’m just way too afraid of rejection. In online dating I’ve learned that there’s still plenty of rejection, but it’s much easier to face in pixels than in person.

My other reason is the fact that online dating has a lot of shiny success stories that give me a glimmer of hope. My friend’s sister Shana met her fiancé on OkCupid. Last year, the sisters visited Europe for a summer trip and Shana started chatting with her man before they set sail. My friend said they met up and grew inseparable through Skype and occasional visits. A few weeks ago, an Instagram flick popped up on my feed – her hand had a glistening engagement ring attached! She did it…she found love on the wild, wild web.

Whenever I get discouraged by my lack of messages or views, I often think of Shana and all of the other happy couples that met on the net. Every time I meet a creep who wants to send me peen pics or get ignored by those cute and artsy NYU hunks, I know that somewhere in the world my fiancé awaits on his MacBook Pro. But maybe one day I’ll muster up enough courage to step away from my laptop and find him in real time.

CollegeCandy, what’s your stance on online dating?

When she’s not watching for Blue Ivy sightings or doing some serious Facebook creeping, Khalea moonlights as a print journalism major at the REAL HU, Howard University. Follow her on Twitter at @letsbeKHAlear, or feel free to Twatch. Whatever works for you.

[Lead image via Yuri Arcurs/Shutterstock]

Fantasizing is an intrinsic part of sexual development. It’s a perfectly healthy way to work out your curiosities, explore your preferences, and enhance your sex life.  It’s totally okay to think about threesomes, or public sex, role playing, or whatever turns you on… But what if you want to actually take your fantasies to the next level? Undoubtedly, opening up an intimate and private part of your thought process to someone’s assessment and possible rejection is scary, but it can be a truly liberating (and sexy) experience to share fantasies with your partner.

Generally, the best time to broach fantasies is during foreplay. You’re both getting aroused and (hopefully!) you’re starting to let go of some of your inhibitions. There are pretty much three ways this can shake out. The worst case scenario is your partner outright rejects you. If they’re worthy of your time, they won’t express disgust or make you feel self-conscious. They’ll merely convey their lack of interest and get right back into the moment. Or, if they’re a little more intrigued, they’ll start to play along. For example, if you brought up the idea of role playing, they’ll integrate that into their dirty talk while you’re in coitus. It’s amazing how much just talking about fantasies can spice up your relationship. The best case scenario is they’re just as enthusiastic as you are, and are totally down for making your fantasies a reality. Total score.

The most important thing is to be confident and don’t invalidate your own fantasies. No matter how weird or kinky you think they are, you are almost certainly not alone. At the very least, there’s very little you could say that would shock your partner, especially if they’ve spent more than 5 seconds on the internet. It is incredibly common to imagine threesomes, public play, restraints…the list goes on. Don’t ever invalidate your own sexual proclivities – as long as they’re not harmful to you or to anyone else, they are fair game. There’s nothing wrong with indulging your imagination, and *fingers crossed* you are with, or will find, someone who is open to doing the same.

Sex is supposed to be fun, am I right?  Boys brag about it, girls gossip about it.  Its one of those things that just never gets old.  But are you finding that it’s just not as exciting as you remembered or wished?  You could be committing one (or all) of three cardinal mistakes, but if that is the unfortunate case, don’t worry.  Your Tango is here to help. They’ve researched and discovered three sex mistakes you should avoid.  Lucky for you, they’re very simple and easy to change! Click here to uncover what they found and the quick fixes to have you ready for action (literally)!

[lead image via vgstudio/ Shutterstock]

Dear Dude,

So I recently hooked up with one of my best guy friends. I was ridiculously drunk and he was well on his way (leaning towards being more sober, though, from what I heard). We talked about it and agreed it was a case of drunken horniness, we even joked about it! It’s been made clear that I am his best friend, telling me very private things. Problem: we hooked up again, although this time we were both pretty much sober…. he called me his ex’s name and I did the same to him! We tried to brush it off again, joking again, making it clear that there are no romantic feelings on both sides. What bothers me now is that he treats me different, we are no longer as close as we used to be, and he is very cold to me. What did I do wrong? What’s the problem?? And what can I do to make it right??

Sincerely,

Friendless and Pantiless

Dear Friendless and Pantiless,

You’re friends? You’re FRIENDS? You’re not just friends. Once you engage in the horizontal mating dance (or vertical if you’ve got the balance) you’re no longer JUST friends. You’re FWB. And if you’re FWB who didn’t necessarily mean to be, then you’re flirting with reverting to becoming even less than friends.

Hook up once? Blame it on the booze. Hook up twice? Blame it on the moods. But call out the names of your exes in the throws? A third time may never cum.

If you two did anything wrong, it was done by both of you. This isn’t a situation where you can claim the blame for his cold shoulder. That’s his choice, too. But let’s face it, you’re in an awkward spot! You both tried something and, for better or worse, it changed the nature of what you were: strictly friends. Does this always happen to every pair of pals that part with their pants and panties? No. But this is what happened in your case. And now you either reach out or hold back. Them’s two of the main options you’ve got.

One time is one time. Two times? Well, it’s more than one time, ain’t it? When you blur the lines, you got to redefine where the lines are. It’s all about communication. If you pretend it didn’t happen or minimize it, then that’s a statement. What’s the statement? It could be trying to preserve the friendship, it could be staving off possible weirdness, or it could be an attempt to deny delving deeper with something that’s developing. You’ve got to determine which it is for you. But right now, he sounds like he’s a bit freaked out by what happened and doesn’t know how to deal, so he’s distancing…which is a legit action, but he’s not telling you that that’s what he needs to do. Or he’s just trying to pull away because it got weird calling each other your exes’ names! But he’s not telling you, so you don’t know…OR he’s a bit freaked that this could lead to something he’s not ready for…but same issue: he ain’t communicatin’!

So if he won’t talk, that means you’ve got to step up. If you feel like this is something you don’t want to fester and build into something bigger, then grab it before it gets too far gone from you. Call him up or call him out and say: “This happened. Then this happened. I kind of get the first thing, but I’m not understanding why the second thing. What’s going on and how we can move past it together?” But in your own words and with more specificity.

Or you could let it play out and be passive instead of proactive. Choice is yours. But choose soon and choose wisely, because the longer you let it ride, the harder it’ll be to get back on the track you want to be on.

Your BFF,

The Dude

[Got a Dude itch you just can’t scratch? Sick of trying to come up with a not-totally-crazy-girl way to bring it up to your guy friends and get their take on things? Totally over over-analyzing the cryptic messages he leave on your Facebook Wall? We got your back, girlfriend. Send your question over to askthedude [at] collegecandy [dot] com. The Dude won’t sugarcoat it, beat around the bush, or any other weird cliche that means lie to you. Like a nice, juicy hot dog, he’ll be 100% real beef, 100% of the time. So bring. it. on.]

In the past, when the word “porn” popped up into conversation immediately I thought of either immature, poseur boys or creepy old men who post up in their basement being…well…creepy. But recently, porn has begun acceptable, all thanks to the trilogy that has sparked much more than just interest: Fifty Shades of Grey.  

If you’ve been living under a rock these past months, Fifty Shades of Grey tells the story of innocent, yet secretly strong, Anastasia Steele being taken on the ride of her life (literally) by the dark, damaged, beautiful, wealthy Christian Grey.

These novels take porn to a whole new level. Now, it is normal (well not normal, per se, but definitely more mainstream) to be interested in and admit to knowing something about this “industry”.  All the sudden, women are much more interested in sex, and it’s their hormones that are raging.  While typically porn provides men with a fantasy or at least something to live vicariously through, it is now women who are reaping the “benefits” of pornography.

I must admit, I’ve read all three of the novels, as have my mother, my grandmother and my aunt.  Actually, the same book has been passed along the three of them.  I, on the other hand, read the book on my kindle.  Which leads me to my next thought: Would you read the actual book version of Fifty Shades of Grey in public — on the train, on the plane, at the beach — or would you, like me, try to hide it on a kindle?

Fifty Shades of Grey has taken the once private (well hopefully) act of sex into the public eye. If this type of porn is now acceptable, what does that mean for the rest of this industry? Watching or reading porn used to be a hush hush hobby, but now, will men begin to bring their laptops on the plane and watch their favorite “movies” during the flight? Will there be previews on normal television for new releases? We’ve already seen Fifty Shades of Grey skyrocket to the top of the bestsellers list, what’s next?

What’s more though is the AGE of those reading it. I’m not quite sure how I feel about my grandmother blushing over the same parts of the novel I blushed about. Is it weirder to see a mother reading it than it is someone in college?

In my defense, I did not even know what the book was about when I bought it (and trust me, I endured the shock of a lifetime upon reaching that first… scene), but looking back, I would probably stick to the kindle. No matter how mainstream this novel has allowed porn to become, do I REALLY want the creepy looking man sitting next to me on the train to know that I’m reading about kinky S&M and… enjoying it!? No thank you.

[Lead image via Piotr Marcinski/Shutterstock]

If you have not heard about Fifty Shades of Grey yet, I am convinced you live under a rock. All my girlfriends are reading it, and all their moms too! It’s one of the hottest selling novels right now, and most people are wondering one questions: why? And I am about to tell you the answer: kinky sex!

Fifty Shades of Grey is the first erotic fiction novel of the Fifty Shades Trilogy, and follows the story of a relationship between a college graduate named Anastasia Steele and a young business magnate named Christian Grey. Christian Grey is into some pretty kinky stuff and when Anastasia cannot resist  his charms and when she signs over her life to him (seems totally legit), she’s in for a rude sexual awakening. The buzz is swarming about this book, and now there’s talk of a movie deal!

Who could they get to play the perfect Christian Grey? We have some ideas!

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Have you guys read Fifty Shades of Grey yet? Who do you think should play the part of Christian Grey? Let us know in the comments!

Katie is finishing up her undergrad at North Central College in Naperville, Illinois. She enjoys wasting hours on Facebook and tweeting things no one cares about. When asked the question, “Do you do marathons?” She promptly responds, “Of course! Which show?” Follow her @KatieGarrity! Or read her personal blog where she talks about Ryan Gosling and hummus a lot here! 

Everyone does it. Okay, maybe not everyone–I do have a few friends who think it’s weird to masturbate. Which I think is really weird. Masturbation is a crucial part to having better sex. If you don’t know your own body and what you like, how can you hope to instruct someone else? Maybe you’re a lucky one and only sleep with sex gods, but the rest of us are sometimes required to offer constructive criticism suggestions. Not great at masturbation? Maybe you’re new to the game? The Frisky has 9 tips to make it an all together better experience. Read the full story here.

I’ve heard this story way too many times: Two people meet online somehow. They exchange contact info, and they fall into a loop of talking to each other all day and night via texts, IMs, and/or phone calls. Maybe they end up meeting in real life, but the vast majority of their communication is virtual. They feel like they’ve really scratched the surface and gotten to know each other on a profound level. Naturally, there’s probably some sexting, maybe even declarations of love. There’s definitely some semblance of a bond there. Then, one person reveals they weren’t nearly as invested as they appeared to be. They have a significant other or they suddenly start becoming a vulgar Twitter flirt, or they just decide to fall off the face of the earth. And then the other person is left hurt, confused and disappointed.

I would never deny how wonderful technology is. It’s awesome that I can easily contact my friends 2000 miles away, that I can quickly shoot a text off to my boyfriend asking him to bring home gummy bears, that I can meet new friends via social media. It has truly enriched the world in a way that I could never properly express. That said, technology can also create a connection that feels deeper than it actually is. The thing about written words is you can attach meaning that isn’t there. It doesn’t help that our language is riddled with hyperbole. That chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream is amazing. That new episode of Parks and Rec was phenomenal. My new skirt gives me life. Of course this hyperbole extends to the way we communicate with each other, and when you’re in that heady honeymoon period of crushing, you don’t realize that “I love you” doesn’t necessarily mean “I love you for all that you truly are” – it actually means something closer to “I love the idea of you that I’ve built up in my head because you’re more of a fantasy and not a real person with real person feelings.”

Technology can warp the way that we relate to each other. It lulls us into opening ourselves up far more quickly than we would in real life, creating an elevated sense of closeness, while conveniently allowing us to mask the worst parts of ourselves and gloss over our flaws.  At the same time, getting swept up in a relationship is more exciting than acknowledging that no one is nearly as perfect as they may try to present themselves. It’s important to approach online relationships with a healthy skepticism. If they flourish into something more substantial and real, that’s awesome. But at their core, they are superficial and barely scrape the surface.

Have you ever been in a virtual relationship? What do you think makes them easier than “real” relationships? Can they be successfully transitioned offline and into the real world?

[Lead image via Andy Dean Photography/Shutterstock]

Rember that scene from ‘The Sweetest Thing’ when Christina is dreaming about receiving oral sex every hour on the hour while eating mountains of ice cream void of any calories? Yeah, that’s pretty much paradise. It shouldn’t shock anyone to hear that girls enjoy oral sex just as much as guys. And you better believe girls will talk about any guy that’s really good (or really bad for that matter) under the sheets. I don’t think most girls would say oral sex is a deal breaker, but if a guy is good, it’s a definite bonus. And if he can take all the calories out of ice cream, he can marry me now.

Each woman’s body is different, and there is no Rosetta Stone of oral, but here are 4 pointers that shouldn’t offend too many ladies:

1. Tease her: Make your way down between her legs slowly. Kiss softly. Let her pantie line be the guide, and actually follow all the lines. Keep her panties on for a bit and kiss her on top of them. The warmth will give her chills and her anticipation will make her restless. You’ll feel her excitement when she has a hard time laying still. Wait til then to slide her panties off, but keep her wanting. Kiss all the same spots you just hit before the undies were gone.

2. Use your tongue: A slow build up is good, but merely kissing and breathing on our lady parts isn’t going to do much for us. Clitoral stimulation is just as important (for some ladies more important) as actual vaginal penetration. We don’t want anyone to be too rough, and super soft is a good as a teaser at first, but eventually there needs to be some pressure from your tongue. You’re doing the right thing if she’s clenching her thighs or thrusting her hips. Don’t be afraid to ask her for some direction. Faster? Softer? Harder? She’ll tell you.

3. And your fingers: you can stimulate her clitoris with your tongue while penetrating her with your fingers. This takes some coordination and rhythm, but I’m sure she won’t mind letting you practice for a while.

4. Be steady and consistent: if you keep sporadically jumping around and doing different things, it will be pretty difficult for her to get off. She needs a steady build up to climax. This doesn’t mean you should stick to one move the entire time. Make sure there’s a steady rhythm to whatever you’re doing and transition slowly to a new thing.

You should be able to tell when she’s close to finishing, and you can be sure she didn’t fake it if after the big moment, her vagina starts pulsing a bit. Let her just lay there for a good ten minutes, and I’m sure she’ll be more than willing to return the favor. And again, every girl is different, so ask her what she likes.

What do you think ladies? Give us your pointers below!

And don’t forget to see what He Said over at COEDMagazine.com

[lead image via hotflix.com