College Candy

We’ve always heard that it is far better to give than to receive, but does that hold up in the bedroom? Is it really better to give a little lovin’ than to get it!?

Sure, I like the power I have over a man when I venture south for the evening and the knowledge that I made him very (verrry) happy, but that doesn’t mean I don’t expect a little somethin’ somethin’ in return. Is it really fair to take (and, in some cases, demand in the form of pushing) and never to reciprocate? And why do so many damn guys do that?

Man up, dudes!

Let’s see what my boy friend (notice the space there, ladies) had to say. Read More »

While searching for bad advice articles for this week’s column, I came (teehee) across one article that I loved so much I had to share it with all of you. The article is about female orgasm and it packages some of the best sex advice men can get into a relatively short and easy-to-read article. While this article gives me hope that guys might be learning something out there in the big world of men’s mags, it also worries me that those same guys will internalize everything they catch on these sites.

But, what can I do about it? If dudes are learning how to please a lady, who am I to argue?
Ladies, read this article with your partner!!

This Week’s Article: 10 Lessons About The Female Orgasm by Men’s Health. Read More »

A few months ago, while visiting the parentals for break, I hooked up with a friend of a friend. And it was awesome. He was hot, he was funny, and he had a visible six-pack. Yes, that was the first visible six-pack I’d ever boom boomed with, so it was pretty magical. In fact, that night is on my list of top 5 life experiences between my bat mitzvah and that time I found a Calvin Klein dress on sale for $9.99.

I have thought about that boy a lot since we awkwardly parted ways in the morning (”Maybe I’ll see you around next time you’re home.”), but have yet to contact him. It’s not like I want a relationship with the kid (it’s hard to build something real on a nice set of abs), but I would like to make this a continuous encounter on any and all trips back home. Read More »

"This'll teach my boyfriend to call me naggy!"

People have all kinds of reasons for engaging in casual sex. To our generation, casual sex is a college staple, much like after-caf diarrhea and late-night Adderall binges. To youth of the 60s and 70s, casual sex was an act of rebellion and a representation of a new way of life. To the generations before them, casual sex was the devil’s playground and giving away free milk.

I’m not going to debate the morality of casual sex. Everybody has different reasons for “hooking up” and everyone experiences different consequences. There are some reasons for having casual sex, however, that really are just bad news. I know this because I’ve tried most of them… So I decided to put a list together so you guys don’t have to make the same mistakes I have, or some I haven’t. Read More »

For most of us, bikini waxing is a summertime requirement, along the lines of flip flops and SPF 15. You can’t go to the beach with a fur skirt, right? But did you know that how you landscape says a lot about who you are? It’s true – guys can read your vajay like a book. I asked a couple of dudes what they think when they come face to…er….vajeen.

What kind of story is your bikini line telling?

Goin’ Natural:
If a guy can get some booty, he usually doesn’t care what’s happening south of the border, but that doesn’t mean he’s not paying attention. A woman who lets her forest grow wild is either totally inexperienced in the bedroom or super hippie-dippie-trippie and lets that stuff grow everywhere. “I’m afraid to see what her armpits look like,” says dude #1.

The Traditional Clean Up:
So, you take care of anything that might poke out of the bikini bottoms and do some basic trimming everywhere else. What does this say? “She’s considerate, but probably not going to let me flip her around in bed.” Read More »

Taking a walk with some friends one day, sipping coffee and having one of those hilarious TMI sex conversations you sometimes slip into with people you know really well, I heard something that stopped me mid-iced latte.  Totally casually, as though it was no big deal, a friend asked if the rest of us enjoyed receiving oral sex, because she really, well, didn’t.

Say WHAT?!?!?

I couldn’t believe it. How could you not enjoy something that is completely and totally dedicated to your pleasure, and yours alone? Surely she was alone in this, I thought. Not so! As soon as the question was posed, a definite majority of the group was on her side! Some disliked it altogether, some liked it OK but were pretty “meh” about the whole concept, and I was the only holdout for it being truly awesome.

I have to say, ladies, I just don’t get it. When I got curious, I was presented with a few primary reasons for these women not being crazy about someone heading downtown.

1. “I worry he doesn’t like doing it.”
A valid concern, on the surface: no one wants to put someone they love/like/lust after in an awkward position. But dig a little deeper for a minute, if you will. I don’t love the physical act of giving a blow job, but I love love love how good I can make someone feel when I do it! Isn’t that the point of all this? If he doesn’t care about making you feel good, then forget him. Seriously. Now.

2. “I’m self-conscious about the appearance/smell/yadda yadda yadda of my ladyparts.”
Are you naked? ‘Cause he won’t notice anything else. But seriously, folks, I know that if I am in need of a little yardwork, I am uncomfortable with someone getting too close down there.  With a little maintenance, it’s a non-issue. And that’s just me: you may prefer more or less, all or nothing at all.  Maintain what YOU like, not what you think someone else will find attractive. It’s subjective, anyway, and any man who has specific opinions on your pubic hair should really get over it.  Even if he does have opinions, they should be a preference, not a deal-breaker. If you’re still feeling fidgety, remember: women all have the same bits, and you probably look and smell much like the rest of us ladies, and any man worth his salt knows and appreciates this. Read More »

Q: I have been thinking a lot about abortion lately. Not because I’m about to have one, but because I wonder what I’ll decide if the situation ever presents itself. Is it true that abortions can make it harder to get pregnant down the road? Can you explain any other risks in getting one?

A: You are so not alone in having concerns about abortion, honey. Obviously, it’s always better when you can plan a pregnancy, make sure your body is in optimal condition, choose the perfect partner, and time it brilliantly so that pregnancy and parenting fits into your life. But alas, life doesn’t always work this way. You’re smart to be asking the right questions.

First, let me say that I’m delighted you’re asking before you find yourself with an unwanted pregnancy. For those of you who are being careful and taking birth control precautions to protect you against unplanned pregnancy, please don’t forget the morning after pill. You can get Plan B over the counter in some states or by prescription anywhere, and it’s pretty effective for those broken condoms, skipped pills, or sexual encounters that just happen when a passionate moment you weren’t expecting strikes.  So don’t forget Plan B. The sooner you use it, the better, but it’s effective up to 72 hours after the “accident.”  Not a bad idea to keep Plan B on hand in your bathroom- just in case.

Assuming birth control efforts fail, and you find yourself faced with the choice of an abortion, there are some important things to know. First off- not to get all political on you- but as an OB/GYN, founder of www.owningpink.com (a gutsy guide to getting your mojo back) and an avid supporter of women’s rights, I have to say this. Remember, you have the right to choose. It is your body, your life, your pregnancy. ‘Nuff said.   Read More »

I’m pretty adventurous when it comes to sex, I’m not going to lie. I love to experiment with men that I’m serious about and whom I trust, and I’m not opposed to an adventurous fling either. However, I have a confession: I might be open to hair-pulling, spanking, and playing dress-up, and there’s probably nothing that could come out of a guy’s mouth that would be dirty enough to make me blush… but I do not let men go down on me.

Take a minute. Catch your breath. Reread if you don’t believe it.

I’m sorry, but I’ve never enjoyed oral sex. I have no problem doling it out, but there are only a couple of men whom I’ve allowed to walk the red carpet, and they’ve only had the privilege on rare occasions.

My aversion to cunnilingus, I feel, stems from low self esteem and a rather horrific first time. I was shy and inexperienced, and losing my virginity was no Cinderella story. After that, it was a long time before I had vaginal sex again, but I did dole out my fair share of blow jobs. Go figure.

Looking back, I think it was a control issue. I had little control over my first time, and to me, going down on a guy was controlling. I was calling the shots. I could get him off. He was the one lying on the bed, losing his mind to ecstatic climax (sorry, I am damn good at fellatio). With regular sex, I felt like the power was equal. My partner and I were both simultaneously trying to please the other, while experiencing our own euphoric physical feelings. It was okay to give away my body, because it was a fair trade

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An hour before my first date with my boyfriend, I was sitting at dinner with a friend who had a single piece of advice for me: “Whatever you do, don’t sleep with him on the first date,” she said. Though I’ve heard iterations of the same first date rule (”Don’t go home with him on the first date”, “Nothing beyond kissing on the first date”, etc.), I was surprised to hear it from my pal — especially since she’s a smart girl who’s comfortable with her sexuality. I told her I’d take her opinion into account, but rule-abiding gal that I am, I proceeded to get wasted, go home with him, and postpone penetration for a whole five hours.

Does having sex in the wee hours of the morning after the first date still count as too early? In society’s eyes, probably. Some variations of the rule even ban sex until double-digit dates. But acting early on the sexual chemistry didn’t hurt my relationship. Nearly a year and a half later, my boyfriend is now my roommate and my respect for rules is still non-existent. It’s not my problem with authority, however, that makes me scoff at delaying sex. I simply don’t believe that the logic behind banning first-date sex is … well, logical. Read More »

Summer time is here and romance is in the air.  Beachy hair, tan skin, and cute boys are the perfect combo getting everyone in the mood for some love and lust.  So what better way to take advantage of the good weather, spice up the sex life, and get down and dirty (literally) than to take it outside?

Gettin’ naughty a pool, hot tub, or on the beach has been a popular fantasy since Adam gave it to Eve in the Garden of Eden. But maybe it’s not such a good idea. Studies show that this seemingly adventurous act may not be worth the risks, after all.

Condoms + Water = Bad
Thanks to the chemicals used in swimming pools and hot tubs, condoms can be totally ineffective. They can rupture and deteriorate from the heat and chlorine, not to mention slip right off because of the water.  And yes, your chances of getting pregnant in the water are the same, so don’t think you can just skip using the latex this time.

Beach + Sex = Badder
A study published in the Environmental Science and Technology Journal found that there are some dangerous microbes in that luxurious beach sand.  Also, 91% of the beaches in the study had detectable levels of enterococco (bacteria that can cause UTI’s, endocarditis, diverictulitis and meningitis).  I don’t even know what half of those are, but they sure don’t sound good.

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