I hate to go all crazy department store on you (It’s January 28th? Time to set up a Memorial Day swimsuit display!) but the fashion industry is always 6 months ahead of us normal folk. The elite designers of the trade have challenged us with innovative, advanced looks that put oh-so 2011 trends, like flare legged jeans and feathers, to shame. What? You can’t afford Roberto Cavalli? No worries fellow broke college students; I’ve recreated the looks with budget friendly brands. Prepare to rock 2012 with these inventive spring trends:

Betsey Johnson Spring 2012

What’s Out: The Blazer/Skinny Jean/UGG Boots

What’s In: The Blazer/Tank Dress/Suede Lace Ups

This Betsey Johnson original is a giant step up from the boring blazer over skinny jeans with a pair of classic cut Uggs. Pair a tank dress with a fitted blazer and a layered necklace. Channel your inner-Betsey with some suede lace up heels and a lightning bolt ring.

Badgley Mischka Spring 2012

What’s Out: Leather Jacket/Sequin Top/Jean Shorts

What’s In: Leather Jacket/Bandeu Top/ Hot Pants

This year, forget the overdone mini skirt, tank top tucked in, leather jacket over top club wear. Please welcome back the ever so risqué: Hot pants. The undies-shorts hybrid will give the illusion of legs for miles. Pair your favorite leather jacket with a bandeau top and match with a hot pair of shoes. Is that Amber Rose over there rocking her model bod? Oh wait, that’s just you donning this beautiful ensemble.

Kanye West Spring/Summer 2012

What’s Out: Blue Denim/Fitted Tops/Nude Heels

What’s In: Patterned Bottoms/Loose Layers/Bold Heels

In 2010, colorful denim became a top trend. This year, hold the focus on your bottoms as opposed to the top of your outfit. Pair pattered denim with a solid colored top, a bold colored pair of heels, and a minimalistic piece of jewelry.

L.A.M.B. Gwen Stefani Spring 2012

What’s Out: Neutrals/Long Sleeve/Clutch

What’s In: Metallics/3 Quarter Length/Totes

Ditch the Khakis, coal, and corduroy for some expressive metallic this season. Go for a basic top with 3 quarter length sleeves that allow room for funky bracelets. As much as I love a good clutch, it’s a bitch trying to fit everything into one-so welcome back boxy totes!

If 2012 is the end of the world, then Betsey Johnson, Badgley Mishka, Kanye & Gwen Stefani have definitely saved the best trends for last. Step out of your comfort zone with these looks and make Spring  2012 your most stylish season yet!

Today is Iowa Caucus day! It’s more important than almost anything else happening today (unless Beyoncé finally pops) and we want you to know exactly what’s going on. I mean, today’s outcome could determine who will run against Obama and who could be our next president.

While we could put together a cutesy little gallery telling you which of the Republican candidates looks best topless, we think you’re smarter than that. We think you want real news, right? That’s why we’ve put together a list of the blogs that know exactly what’s happening in Iowa and can explain it to you in a way that you’ll understand.

A minute by minute guide to what’s going down in Iowa today (Politico)

Who is winning the expectations game (Buzzfeed)

Live updates from the caucus (Huffington Post)

A live Twitter feed giving you all the latest news (CNN)

Election news from our most conservative reporters (Fox News)

So go read up on the latest news and then come back here and tell us who you think is going to win and why.

Most anticipated movies of 2012

Celebs who’ve played real people

Elle Fanning is the classic younger sister

Enough with the self-hate

New Years resolutions for the single lady

Lindsay has some trespasser issues

Is a strap-on the key to refreshing your relationship?

Getting Taylor Swifts cute and simple look

You don’t owe him anything

What’s the story behind Russel and Katy?

You know you always wanted a Facebook bed

Couples who met on the set

Celeb resolutions for 2012

What’s your theme for 2012?

Are you addicted to social media

You’re not a true Potterhead unless you wipe with Dan Rad

How did your favorite celebs ring in the New Year?

Look who’s turning 30 this year!

Let me just state the obvious to start off — New Year’s Eve is overrated. Everyone always gets stressed out and anxiety-ridden making plans and picking outfits for a holiday that is usually a let down anyway. With Hollywood setting up unrealistic expectations for what a New Year’s Eve kiss should really be like, we wake up on January 1^st with a hangover and blurry memories of a sloppy makeout session we had with a stranger.

So why not just stay home for a cozy night in? You’ll save tons of money that would either be spent on a ridiculously expensive cover charge or an overpriced little black dress. This New Year’s Eve, I will be staying in instead of walking around the bitterly cold streets of Chicago in a mini skirt and platforms, and I could not be happier about it. There are tons of ways to stay in and still have fun on New Year’s, and here are just a few.

 1. Stay in and eat!

Free food? I’m so in! Food is the ultimate way to get anyone to come to a party. So why not have a few friends over and have a chili cook-off or a cookie exchange? Chatting and eating with your friends is a great way to bond and spend the last night of year with the people you love. Not only are you getting to chow down on some amazing dishes, but you also get to stay in (yay!) and avoid the stresses of splitting a dinner bill between 10 people on an overpriced meal.

 2. Stay glued to the boob tube

Staying in on New Year’s Eve offers the opportunity to stay in sweatpants the whole night and curl up on the couch with your significant other or your BFF and have a movie marathon!  If you both love Julia Roberts, ring in 2012 by watching Pretty Woman and My Best Friend’s Wedding. Or if you’re both Friends fanatics, watch all the New Year’s Eve episodes and laugh in the New Year. It doesn’t really even matter what you’re watching. Sometimes there’s nothing better than being curled up on the couch in a pair of sweats.

3. Babysit!

A friend of mine is getting paid a ridiculous amount of money to babysit on New Year’s Eve, and I think she is brilliant for doing so. Instead of spending over $100 on a “party package” that gets you “unlimited drinks” (should that even be legal?) and some appetizers, she is making double that by putting a couple toddlers to bed at 8 PM and then having some quality alone time so she can study for her GMAT and maybe watch the Times Square ball drop on TV. Though some would probably die at the thought of spending New Year’s Eve alone, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it especially when you’re making a couple hundred bucks. Talk about a happy new year, am I right?

So when December 31^st rolls around and you’re still on the fence about what you want to do, think about taking a less traditional route of celebrating and stay in instead! Eat some food, watch some TV, and have a relaxing night at home. Avoid the madness that is New Year’s Eve or as my worry-wart of a father calls it: amateur night.

Katie is finishing up her undergrad at North Central College in Naperville, Illinois. She enjoys wasting hours on Facebook and tweeting things no one cares about. When asked the question, “Do you do marathons?” She promptly responds, “Of course! Which show?” Follow her @KatieGarrity!

Just in case Maxim readers are ever bored at work, we learned how to shove a water bottle in an office chair so your co-worker will have the instant sensation of peeing themselves upon sitting down. Whatever, whoever is gone long enough to allow a co-worker to do something so atrocious deserves to think they peed their pants. And needs to stop eating Bangin’ Burritos from the gas station and stay sitting at their desk for a while.

In Maxim’s newest favorite article ‘Maxim Office Assistant’ they interviewed the new prospect office contender. Lucky for all the horny toads in any man-child’s dream office – upcoming office assistant, Carissa, shares she thinks it’s sexy to pick up orders and move boxes in nothing but a jacket and sexy lingerie.  Looks like I’m never going to make the cut for sexy assistant. Since the last time I moved a box in a trench coat and frilly undies from Charlotte Russe was in a vivid nightmare.

Maxim did turn up the giggles in an article called ’50 Other Things To Do This Summer.’ No, one of them wasn’t whispering, “I know what you did last summer,” to every girl at the bar (something I just came up with in complete immaturity).  But it did have some solid advice past being a total creep. The only two I’ve accomplished?

1. Pull your sweaty underwear out of your butt crack.

2. Plan a roadtrip. Never go on it.

Aw Maxim, you make me feel so motivated and appealing.

Any hooker, time for the sexified article of choice called, ‘Go Out With a Bang.’  Awesome, it already sounds loud and obnoxious. Since Maxim is convinced the world is going to end in 2012, they’ve compiled a list of sexy-things to get done for every month. But we secretly all know dudes just want an excuse to hump things.

Maxim Say’s: July: Visit a sex club. Sex clubs are like the infomercial products of debauchery, because you get three kinks in one: orgies, voyeurism and exhibition.

Brittany Say’s: Awesome, sounds like a field trip from hell. But then, maybe I’m just being economical. Why don’t we save the sweat and heavy breathing on each other for December, when it’s cold and you can seal the end of the world while staring at the one thing that brought you there in the first place. Yah feel me?

Maxim Say’s: August: Have sex with a celebrity.

Brittany Say’s: Unless you’re thinking along the lines of having sex with Tom Green – you can kiss your celebrity fantasies goodbye. It’s not every day you can walk up to Bradley Cooper in the grocery store and ask him about your the melons. Or wait, I’m starting to get inspired…

Maxim Say’s: October: Have a sex marathon.

Brittany Say’s: I may be at risk of sounding too stuffy/totally girly with this one, but can we combine some finger food, True Blood and passionate eye contact with this sex marathon?

Maxim Say’s:  November: Do a stranger.

Brittany Say’s: Late November: Risk being perpetually stalked by that stranger you did back in early November. Change your locks. And slap your hand for sleeping with the guy with a packing knife in his pocket and an off-kilter stare just because the world was ending.

Maxim Say’s: December: Go all out on the internet.

Brittany Say’s: Omg Maxim, that’s so totally my plan! I think I’m going to do all of my shopping online this year, such great deals. Wait – you were talking about Craig’s List perv-speak for men and women, weren’t you?! Again, my innocence got the best of me. Looks like I’ll be on the ‘nice list’ again this year.

I know you’re just moments away from being inaugurated, but in my opinion, the Bush era has been dead for awhile now, and you have been the prez since the results were announced. I figured out how to fill out an absentee ballot for you, Mr. Obama, and I can’t even handle bills that come in paper statements, so that’s saying something. The day you were elected, Mr. Obama, my roommate and I screamed and jumped up and down on our futon like we’d just watched a really hot episode of Gossip Girl. One of my friends from the bloody United Kingdom texted me to congratulate me on our country’s finally making a good decision, even though it was about 4 a.m. in his time zone.

There’s a lot riding on your presidency, Mr. Obama, and while I have enough faith in you to fill out that freaking absentee ballot, I would also like to give you some tips, so you take the same downtrodden path that so many of our past leaders have taken.

Please do not raise federal liquor taxes in an attempt to cover the costs of war, a la Ulysses S. Grant. We poor college students cannot afford to pay more than state sales tax and the $.05 deposit per can on our Natty Lights. If you do feel a need to hike up the taxes, please don’t make it worse by accepting bribes from distillers to receive tax stamps at a fraction of the cost, because that’s just plain mean. Do feel free to sponsor a National Holiday where school and work is cancelled so we may get over our hangovers, however.

Gas prices have finally dropped after an excruciating few months of paying over $3 or $4 per gallon to fill our tanks.  Please do not transfer oil responsibilities to corrupt secretaries, who will exploit this power for their own gain.  Ask ex-prez Warren Harding how Teapot Dome turned out. Oh, wait; he died before he could be convicted.  Mr. Obama, you’re in your prime, so chances are, you’re going to have to sit through any investigations that might come your way.

If all goes well during your stint in the White House, Mr. Obama, please don’t resort to wiretapping, burglary, and trespassing in an effort to be re-elected when 2012 rolls around.  We really don’t need Kirsten Dunst to make another film routed in political satire.

While you are working in the Oval Office, Mr. Obama, please keep your relationships with your coworkers, and especially interns, strictly professional.  And don’t mingle with the ho’s, either.  Hell, your wife Michelle is beautiful, and your girls are totally adorable.  So there’s no reason to be shacking up with Obama Girl. These days, the media is always looking to exploit an irrational decision – always remember that.

Please, Mr. Obama, hire an educated speech reader, and then practice your speeches.  I want books to be written about how great you are, rather than seeing compilations of the stupid sh*t you’ve said on sale at Amazon. If you meet a single mother of three, please don’t tell her, “You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn’t it? I mean, that is fantastic that you’re doing that.“  And please don’t address our current economic crisis as thus: “So I analyzed that and decided I didn’t want to be the president during a depression greater than the Great Depression, or the beginning of a depression greater than the Great Depression.“  

Mr. Obama, to be frank, I wouldn’t have the balls to step in right now and try to fix our country.  But we’re counting on you.  So, if you could refrain from making some of the errors of our forefathers, that would be great.  And if you have some spare time, if you could fix the economy, pull our troops out of Iraq, legalize same sex marriage, and be such a good president that you are remembered as a great president, rather than simply the first black president (because really, I would vote for a Fuchsia leader he or she would turn the USA back around), I would be most grateful, and would probably take the time to fill out yet another absentee ballot in four years.

Thank you for your time, and welcome to the friggin’ White House!

The perfect poolside addition to a summer afternoon

Coupon Clipping: not just for groceries anymore.

You mean it does more than make me lose my inhibitions, dinner and dignity?

If Gossip Girl gets canceled my life will be over.

Two more reasons to love Bret and Jemaine.

Do you think Lassie wore condoms?

Just grin and bear it, Tony.  …Or Poppa Joe will find a way to hunt you down.

5 Superhero movie scenes NOT coming to a theater near you.

Bootleg moonshine, courtesy of the Tufts class of 2012 (way to prioritize, guys!)