[He Said/She Said is a series designed to help all our wonderfully confused readers figure out what he’s really thinking. So every week we’ll be throwing out a topic for debate…and unlike our fave dude, these guys won’t be sugar coating anything for you. But before you jump into their heads (which seriously will make you feel like you need to shower), check out what we think!]

I remember the first time my mind was totally blown. One of my guy friends was turning 21 (which I only realized thanks to Facebook), the first of our group to reach such a milestone, and I was shakin’ in my Havaianas with excitement.

“Who’s making the birthday cake?” I asked.

He stared at me. For a long time. Like, uncomfortably long. I stared at my feet. God, I needed a pedicure.

“Cake?” He asked.

“Yes, cake. It’s your birthday party! Hello! There’s gotta be cake and a pre-party playlist and some fun accessory for you to wear. Oh, and where’s my Facebook invite to dinner? Wait, am I not invited to dinner?”

More silence.

“Dinner?” He asked.

And that’s when I learned that the biggest difference between men and women is not how often they masturbate or what they talk about with their friends, it’s birthday parties. As in, guys don’t really have them. At least not in any special sort of way. For guys, a birthday celebration consists of drinking beer and taking shots with their friends. Sorta like any other day of the week. The only difference is their bros are buying the shots this time (if they’re lucky) and instead of cheersing to bitches and babes, they’re cheersing to so and so’s big birthday.

And if it’s a good birthday, they get a blow job.
And if it’s a really good birthday, they get another blow job in the morning.

It’s weird, but that makes me sad. I mean, everyone deserves to be the center of attention once in awhile and for many of us, the day our moms pushed us out of their hoo-hahs is the only chance we get. Why don’t guys want to milk that for all it’s worth and get some tasty cake and a free dinner out of it?

Yeah, some girls take things too far (No, you don’t get free sh*t for the entire month of March just because your birthday falls somewhere in there, brat!), but there’s something to be said about all the pomp and circumstance. It’s a reason to buy something new and expensive that you wouldn’t normally indulge in! To get dressed up! And wear a crown! And have a pre-party with all your favorite jams on the playlist! (Because no one ever lets you play “All I Want for Christmas,” dammit!) And have all your BFFs and Facebook friends and pretty much anyone who comes in contact with you, celebrate YOU… and buy you a crapload of drinks.

Why wouldn’t guys want that?

Maybe guys have been so busy gettin’ it on with a bottle of moisturizer that they haven’t caught on to the glory that is the birthday party. Or, just as likely, it’s not “cool” and “bro” to want some big ass party in your honor. And that’s unfortunate, because there’s nothing better than a giant piece of birthday cake after a long night of (free) drinking.

Not even a birthday blow job.

Though, I’m sure our resident male will disagree. Let’s see what he has to say about birthday shenanigans.

No more slipping your older, cooler friends a twenty in line at the liquor store for getting you your goods. No more getting completely annihilated before the bars because your drinking has to end the second you leave the security of your own home. And best of all, no more trying to scrub off those despised black X’s in the bathroom sink of the bar.

Ladies, you’re about to enter a magical time in your life where paper wristbands are your new favorite accessories and Tylenol is your new best friend. So toss that fake I.D. aside and get ready for a ride.  You’re turning 21.  Now how do you survive it?

Pre-Drinking Preparation. It’s all about getting your room ready for your future drunken self.  Before you go out for the night, make sure your room is ready for your return because you might not even know who you are, let alone how to get into a bed, by the end of the night.

1. Pull the covers back on your bed to make it easier to pass out in.
2. Put the garbage can next to your bed. Obvious reasons.
3. Set a container of bottled water next to you. When you wake up, you’ll be thirsty…but there’s a good chance won’t feel like moving.

It may seem pointless now, but you’ll thank yourself later.

Plan Your Outfit Accordingly. If you’re wearing that cute, little dress you’ve been saving for weeks for your special night, you may want to invest in a pair of compression shorts to wear underneath it.  After multiple shots, you could very well end up rolling around on the floor of the bar thinking you’re a world-famous break dancer. Trust me, it happens. In the morning you’ll be glad everyone didn’t get a look at your Barbie underwear.  Or, see you in your birthday suit.

Designate a “Mom” for the Night. Or multiple Moms. Depending on your level of wildness, it may take more than one person to keep you under control on your big night. It’s always a good idea to have someone there to make sure you don’t drink too much…and then hold your hair for you the next morning when you do. This person also comes in handy when you’re trying to get home at night. Choose to have a drinking Mom, or end up waking up in someone’s front lawn when the sprinkler system goes off. It’s up to you.

Take a Picture— It’ll Last Longer. Since the likelihood of you remembering your night is pretty much nonexistent, you’ll want a team of photographers (a.k.a. your friends) to help you relive the craziness…over and over again.  If you have a successful night, your pictures will be nowhere near Facebook appropriate but they will definitely give you a good laugh and something to show your grandkids someday.

Don’t Lose Your S#^&. Believe it or not, there’s a feeling that’s worse than puking your guts out the morning after a great night out— the feeling in your gut when you realize you’ve lost your license, student ID, and everything else you took out with you the night before. To avoid this problem, you have a few options:

Option #1: Have a friend carry the important items you’ll need to get into the bar, such as your license and money.

Option #2: Put your important items in a wristlet…and duct tape the wristlet to your wrist.

Option #3: Stick your important items in your compression shorts if you decide to wear them. Nothing can escape the compression shorts.

Have Your Cake and Eat it Too. Your 21^st birthday only happens once so live it up.  If you want to do snow angels in the middle of a parking lot on the way home from the bar, do them.  If you’re in the mood for some take-out after you get back, order it. With dessert! And if your friend’s man is lookin’ extra fine, he’s yours! Okay, just kidding on that one. Guess we can’t have everything we want.  But seriously, you’re the birthday girl. Take advantage of that!

I’m proud to say I survived my 21^st…in a blizzard.  And I may or may not have indulged in some snow angel making. You’ll never know. How did you survive your 21^st birthday?

Looking back, though, much has happened in the past year. It seems I’ve learned a lot while Ke$ha put a dollar sign in her name and started brushing her teeth with a “bottle of Jack,” John Mayer proclaimed that he is on the search for “the Joshua Tree of vaginas,” and the Jersey Shore became a national phenomenon.

So here (in no particular order) is what I know for certain after turning 21. Perhaps you youngsters can take a few things from this:

1. Friendships should make you happy — not pissed off : Friends should be so much more than people you dance on tables with and dish about the weekend to. They should be there for you, and you should be there for them. They also should not steal your alcohol on your 21^st birthday and make out with the fraternity guy, all while puking as your boyfriend helps take care of them.

2. Raincoats are amazing: They are often understated and overwhelmingly overlooked when it comes to fashion. But even if they aren’t fashionable, really, you can’t complain when that slicker keeps your from frizzing. Without a rain jacket I wouldn’t have made it through the summer in London. And I think it actually kept me going to class this past semester. Why didn’t I realize this sooner? It doesn’t matter if you have a basic from Lands End or a super sexy trench from Dillards, just get one!

3. Go to the gym: Surprisingly enough, it is worth your time. Who knew? I sure didn’t, until I started going religiously with my boyfriend back in September. If you actually go to the gym and do more than hang out on the treadmill and elliptical for thirty minutes, you can see results. Plus, it teaches you patience on so many different levels.

4. Do not drink MD 20/20: Even if the frat-mixed mojitos are watered down and tasting a bit like a dirty dance floor, stay away from the MD.

5. Do experience a Pimms with Lemonade: Although you probably have never heard of this drink before, Pimms with Lemonade is a London pub staple. The Pimms is to Wimbledon, as the mint julep is to the Kentucky Derby. This fresh tasting, fruity cocktail will may be enough to convince you to study abroad for a semester. It’s to die for.

6. Puppy Love = True Love: Dogs truly give the most unconditional love. Even though my boyfriend got a dog back in September and it has been a ton of work, I can’t help but keep falling in love with the little darling. You can’t have a bad day whenever a puppy is around. However, at the same time, the realization that having a puppy is a huge responsibility is constant and serves as amazing birth control for many, many years to come.

7. The VS Miraculous Push Up Bra is a miracle: The Victoria’s Secret new Miraculous Push Up bra is the greatest and latest thing to come into the world of retail. With a level 5 design to push up and lift, this push up bra is not playing around – it increases your breast size by two full cups. Unlike a lot of push up bras, this bra actually makes your boob size look believable, all while supplying comfort.

8. Hell No to the Snow: I can never live where it snows on a daily basis during the winter. After what I deemed the Great Snow of ’09 in Virginia (in which 24 inches of snow fell in two days), this has re-arranged my life geographically for good. Those applications to Illinois for graduate school?  Out the window. My dream of always visiting Maine? Only if it’s summer.  Multiple inches of snow at a time? No thanks.

9. Reading is magical: Taking the time to read for pleasure in between reading for class is one of the best ways to relax. This past year, I have rediscovered my love for reading, all while falling in love with some great stories. Need something to restart your love of reading? Read The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon or Train to Trieste by Domnica Radulescu.

10. “That’s So You!” It’s important to have your signature piece, be it clothing, music or opinion. This has made my life simpler and more defined.

11.  Meeting the Parents: Meeting the parents is scary. However, whether they like you or not is out of your hands. You can be the sweetest girl they have ever met, but if they don’t like the idea of their kid being with someone without the qualifications they are looking for (i.e.: money, a professional school degree), it doesn’t matter how amazing you are or how much you have going on for yourself. Just accept it and try not to take it to heart … too much.

12.  Post-Grad is intimidating: Graduate, law, and business school applications are a lot more comprehensive than they lead you to believe on first glance. Those statements of intent and optional essays are really unlike anything you have written in the past, unless you are a professional graduate school applicant. Starting early is the only way to preserve your sanity as senior year rolls around. And taking the GRE or LSAT, well those should have occurred a year ago. Oops!

13.  “Welcome to the real world, she said to me…:” Although the quarter-life crisis often seems inevitable, I have learned that I definitely do not want to go down the John Mayer permanent-existential-life-crisis road. While his never-ending misery will supply good music for more and more years to come (without a doubt), I choose to not dwell. It’s much healthier this way, even if I do enjoy indulging in his misery sometimes.

14.  Stop reading beauty magazines: I’ve stopped buying magazines and I feel much more enlightened.  Instead, I have stopped giving my $3.99 to advice on how to make a man moan and enjoy the in-depth features in the feminist friendly Bust magazine, and the musically progressive Paste.

15.  Give a Little Bit: Helping others is amazing and it makes you feel better than anything else can.

16.  It’s Overrated: Being a senior is overrated. I have had more work and more responsibility than ever before and I feel like with every passing day, more and more obligations come my way. While it seems that a lot of seniors are spending their nights partying and hanging out, I am writing 20-page papers and doing graduate school rain dances to promote a surplus of acceptance letters.

17.  To Thine Own Self, Be True: To be a writer, you need to have extremely thick skin. Regardless of what your stance is, someone is always going to go against it and you have to be true to yourself and the piece you are writing. The same goes for all facets of life; you gotta be you and that’s that.

18.  Big birthday parties don’t prove anything: Big birthday parties aren’t all that they are cracked up to be. After years of over-the-top Disney birthday,  the whole high school teenage hang-out-birthday scene, and the exuberantly drunk and pretentiously planned college birthday, I will take the quiet and intimate birthday dinner over anything else.  It’s better to celebrate with those that actually matter.

19.  Lady Gaga is a goddess: She’s given us greatness, i.e.: “I’m bluffin’ with my muffin,” disco-bras, “Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah! Roma-roman-mamaa! Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!,” and perhaps the greatest line of them, “I’m a free bitch, baby!” Her stage presence is to die for, and her genuine, authentic, down-to-Earth personality (come on, didn’t you see her on Oprah?) is addictive. Plus, I’ve seen a slew of live performances and I have to say, Gaga outperforms the rest with her Monster Ball.

20.  Say No to Parent Drama: If your parents are magnificent – great. If they aren’t, it is time to accept it and move on, instead of constantly wishing for your mother to be someone she is not.

21.  The Little Things Count: It’s important to relish the little things. In college, so much happens at once, it feels like the world can pass you by – especially once you turn 21 and the end of college seems very near. The most important lesson I’ve learned is to take time doing something you enjoy. It doesn’t matter if you want to get crazy drunk on a Friday night or take an extra art class, but do what gives you the most pleasure. Make time for more sex. Make time to cook dinner with your roommates. Just make time! As each year goes by, it is also important to look back to see what you’ve learned (whether it’s good, bad, ugly, or silly).

[This post is a favorite of CollegeCandy fan, Rose...and also of The Huffington Post. So Yay Charlsie...and thanks Rose for picking out one of the best!]

You know, Groundhog Day. The movie. You’re with me? Right. Well in Groundhog Day Murray gets to relive the same day over and over again, Groundhog Day, which wasn’t so great for him because he kept messing everything up. But still, we’re a little bit jealous. There are plenty of days in college we’d love to live over and over and over again, and never change a thing. (Editor’s Note: Or the whole thing? Please?)

Here are our top 5:

1. Your 21st Birthday. This is it. The day you’ve been waiting for. The day you take your first legal drink. The day that’s all about you. An excuse to splurge on a fabulous new, totally 21 outfit. Silly hats. Sashes. Maybe even a tiara to go with that sparkly dress? Free shots. Lots and lots of liquor. And the perfect excuse to go up to a boy and ask him if he’ll buy you a drink. The perfect excuse to do whatever you want, whenever you want to. Because nothing is a better excuse for drunken bar top dancing than “It’s my 21st birthday!” It should be noted though, powers that be, that we want to relive our 21^st birthdays, not the morning after hangovers.

2. Your First Freshman Year Brunch Recap. The first few weeks of college have been hard. You don’t really have a group of friends yet, you’ve thrown up in the bathroom twice from drinking Bartons, and you failed your first college test. And then one Sunday afternoon, you don’t remember the exact date, you ended up sitting in the dining hall for hours cracking up about last night, telling jokes, saying things like “and then I fould Liz making out with her T.A in the bathroom.” And as you eat your third helping of waffles with whipped cream (yay for dining hall health!), you realize that you finally have friends that you really like and you fit in and you love college and there’s no place you would rather be right now.

3. Homecoming. Senior Year. Homecoming is a big deal. And I’m not exactly sure why. It’s not about the game. And it’s not about the tailgating. It’s about the entire process. It’s an experience only college students will ever really understand, and its different every year. But if you have to pick one homecoming to relive over and over again, it should be the your senior year homecoming. You’ve done this enough times by now that you have your routine down perfectly, but yet you’re nostalgic enough to truly appreciate the experience. In fact, you’ll probably even manage to catch a little bit of the game that year. (Sidenote: This probably only applies if your team wins. Because the team that loses probably isn’t going to want to relive that game everyday.)

4. Classes Canceled for the First Time. Maybe it was a snow day. Or a professional holiday you forgot you had off. Or maybe your professor just unexpectedly canceled class without warning. Whatever the reason it’s still an awesome feeling, hearing your alarm go off, waking up, expecting to spend a day listening to lectures as you try not to fall asleep, only to find an e-mail informing you that your classes have been canceled. Maybe you roll back over and spend the day half sleeping, half catching up on your favorite television shows as you lounge in your pajamas and order take-out. Maybe you and your friends build a snowman. Maybe your organize your entire room or head to the beach with your friends. What you do doesn’t matter, it’s just the fact that you got to do it that feels so great.

5. Your “only at my school” day. Whether it’s Hash Bash or Winter Carnival or Mayfest or whatever your schools does, it’s the best day of year. EVERYONE you’ve ever met in college is hanging around together, drinking, smoking, laughing, talking, bringing up old memories, making you mimosas, serving free hot dogs, doing kegs and eggs, and best of all, handing out t-shirts. You don’t have a worry in the world (besides Where are my shoes?) and you’re absolutely convinced that you go to the most fun school in the entire world.

Which days would you want to relive?

Just last February, I was planning my 21^st birthday party. Now, I’m facing 22 (or as I like to call it 21+1) straight on. Even though the last twelve months have gone by, it feels like just yesterday I was indulging in jello shots and margaritas. For my 21st. Because just yesterday I was indulging in jello shots and margaritas.

Looking back though, much has happened in the past year. It seems I’ve learned a lot while Ke$ha put a dollar sign in her name and started brushing her teeth with a “bottle of Jack,” John Mayer proclaimed that he is on the hunt for “the Joshua Tree of vaginas,” and the Jersey Shore became a national phenomenon.

So here (in no particular order) is what I know for certain after turning 21. Perhaps you youngsters can take a few things from this:

1. Friendships should make you happy — not pissed off : Friends should be so much more than people you dance on tables with and dish about the weekend to. They should be there for you, and you should be there for them. They also should not steal your alcohol on your 21^st birthday and make out with the fraternity guy, all while puking as your boyfriend helps take care of them.

2. Raincoats are amazing: They are often understated and overwhelmingly overlooked when it comes to fashion. But even if they aren’t fashionable (and there are plenty that are!), really, you can’t complain when that slicker keeps your from frizzing. Without a rain jacket I wouldn’t have made it through the summer in London. And I think it actually kept me going to class this past semester. Why didn’t I realize this sooner? It doesn’t matter if you have a basic from Lands End or a super sexy trench from Dillards, just get one!

3. Go to the gym: Surprisingly enough, it is worth your time. Who knew? I sure didn’t, until I started going religiously with my boyfriend back in September. If you actually go to the gym and do more than hang out on the treadmill and elliptical for thirty minutes, you can see results. Plus, it teaches you patience on so many different levels.

4. Do not drink MD 20/20: Even if the frat-mixed mojitos are watered down and tasting a bit like a dirty dance floor, stay away from the MD.

5. Do experience a Pimms with Lemonade: Although you probably have never heard of this drink before, Pimms with Lemonade is a London pub staple. The Pimms is to Wimbledon, as the mint julep is to the Kentucky Derby. This fresh tasting, fruity cocktail will may be enough to convince you to study abroad for a semester. It’s to die for.

6. Puppy Love = True Love: Dogs truly give the most unconditional love. Even though my boyfriend got a dog back in September and it has been a ton of work, I can’t help but keep falling in love with the little darling. You can’t have a bad day whenever a puppy is around. However, at the same time, the realization that having a puppy is a huge responsibility is constant and serves as amazing birth control for many, many years to come.

7. The VS Miraculous Push Up Bra is a miracle: The Victoria’s Secret new Miraculous Push Up bra is the greatest and latest thing to come into the world of retail. With a level 5 design to push up and lift, this push up bra is not playing around – it increases your breast size by two full cups. Unlike a lot of push up bras, this bra actually makes your boob size look believable, all while supplying comfort.

8. Hell No to the Snow: I can never live where it snows on a daily basis during the winter. After what I deemed the Great Snow of ’09 in Virginia (in which 24 inches of snow fell in two days), this has re-arranged my life geographically for good. Those applications to Illinois for graduate school?  Out the window. My dream of always visiting Maine? Only if it’s summer.  Multiple inches of snow at a time? No thanks.

9. Reading is magical: Taking the time to read for pleasure in between reading for class is one of the best ways to relax. This past year, I have rediscovered my love for reading, all while falling in love with some great stories. Need something to restart your love of reading? Read The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon or Train to Trieste by Domnica Radulescu.

10. “That’s So You!” It’s important to have your signature piece, be it clothing, music or opinion. This has made my life simpler and more defined.

11.  Meeting the Parents: Meeting the parents is scary. However, whether they like you or not is out of your hands. You can be the sweetest girl they have ever met, but if they don’t like the idea of their kid being with someone without the qualifications they are looking for (i.e.: money, a professional school degree), it doesn’t matter how amazing you are or how much you have going on for yourself. Just accept it and try not to take it to heart … too much.

12.  Post-Grad is intimidating: Graduate, law, and business school applications are a lot more comprehensive than they lead you to believe on first glance. Those statements of intent and optional essays are really unlike anything you have written in the past, unless you are a professional graduate school applicant. Starting early is the only way to preserve your sanity as senior year rolls around. And taking the GRE or LSAT, well those should have occurred a year ago. Oops!

13.  “Welcome to the real world, she said to me…:” Although the quarter-life crisis often seems inevitable, I have learned that I definitely do not want to go down the John Mayer permanent-existential-life-crisis road. While his never-ending misery will supply good music for more and more years to come (without a doubt), I choose to not dwell. It’s much healthier this way, even if I do enjoy indulging in his misery sometimes.

14.  Stop reading beauty magazines: I’ve stopped buying magazines and I feel much more enlightened.  Instead, I have stopped giving my $3.99 to advice on how to make a man moan and enjoy the in-depth features in the feminist friendly Bust magazine, and the musically progressive Paste.

15.  Give a Little Bit: Helping others is amazing and it makes you feel better than anything else can.

16.  It’s Overrated: Being a senior is overrated. I have had more work and more responsibility than ever before and I feel like with every passing day, more and more obligations come my way. While it seems that a lot of seniors are spending their nights partying and hanging out, I am writing 20-page papers and doing graduate school rain dances to promote a surplus of acceptance letters.

17.  To Thine Own Self, Be True: To be a writer, you need to have extremely thick skin. Regardless of what your stance is, someone is always going to go against it and you have to be true to yourself and the piece you are writing. The same goes for all facets of life; you gotta be you and that’s that.

18.  Big birthday parties don’t prove anything: Big birthday parties aren’t all that they are cracked up to be. After years of over-the-top Disney birthday,  the whole high school teenage hang-out-birthday scene, and the exuberantly drunk and pretentiously planned college birthday, I will take the quiet and intimate birthday dinner over anything else.  It’s better to celebrate with those that actually matter.

19.  Lady Gaga is a goddess: She’s given us greatness, i.e.: “I’m bluffin’ with my muffin,” disco-bras, “Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah! Roma-roman-mamaa! Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!,” and perhaps the greatest line of them, “I’m a free bitch, baby!” Her stage presence is to die for, and her genuine, authentic, down-to-Earth personality (come on, didn’t you see her on Oprah?) is addictive. Plus, I’ve seen a slew of live performances and I have to say, Gaga outperforms the rest with her Monster Ball.

20.  Say No to Parent Drama: If your parents are magnificent – great. If they aren’t, it is time to accept it and move on, instead of constantly wishing for your mother to be someone she is not.

21.  The Little Things Count: It’s important to relish the little things. In college, so much happens at once, it feels like the world can pass you by – especially once you turn 21 and the end of college seems very near. The most important lesson I’ve learned is to take time doing something you enjoy. It doesn’t matter if you want to get crazy drunk on a Friday night or take an extra art class, but do what gives you the most pleasure. Make time for more sex. Make time to cook dinner with your roommates. Just make time! As each year goes by, it is also important to look back to see what you’ve learned (whether it’s good, bad, ugly, or silly).

[This story was originally posted by Charlsie - Hollins University.]

Likey? Don’t worry, there are plenty more faves where this came from.

This week, the last bar in State College (that’s the town where the main campus of Penn State is – the name confused me for a while too) to hold out on the 21^st birthday tradition of doing way too many shots decided to amend it’s stance and stop serving shots to new 21 year-olds. All of the bars in State College now abide by this policy – you can still get beer or mixed drinks, just no shots – where 21^st-ers will have to wait an extra 36 hours after their birthday before they can purchase tiny little glasses of liquor. The question is, is this fair?

Ok, now the whole impetus behind the ban is that Penn State (known as the biggest party school in the country) has had some trouble with it’s students binge drinking, and since 21^st birthdays are usually a big drinking night (yeah, baby!) they hope that preventing these (supposedly) new drinkers from getting shots, they might cut down on some of the dangers of overdrinking on the big night.

Now, it’s hard for me to argue against that. I’m all for safety when drinking and for acting (at least kinda, sorta, vaguely) responsible with alcohol – plus, you’re birthday will totally be more fun if you can remember it, trust me! And the bars aren’t denying students the right to buy alcohol either, they’re just forcing them to get it in less concentrated doses, which I think is totally smart. It’s completely within the bars rights to serve or deny service to whomever they choose (as long as they’re legal, of course).

And yet, there’s still something about this that sticks in my craw (you like that sweet, old-school phrasing, don’t you? Yeah, you do). Once you’re legal, shouldn’t you have the right to by the alcoholic beverage of your choice? As long as you can pay for it, should they be allowed to deny you whatever kind of 21^st birthday you want to have? You’ve worked 21 years to get there, and if you want to do shots until you’re making out with the floorboards that’s legally your right. And what if an older friend bought the shots? Does your whole group have to be shotless because you’re newly legal? What if you bought the bottle?

There’s also that whole 36-hour thing which just seems silly to me; for one thing, if your b-day is in the middle of the week, you might wait until Friday night to go party anyway and then, apparently, you can do as many shots as you want. WTF? Not to mention that little fact that there are probably some Penn State students (or students visiting a pal for their b-day) who could manage to do one or two shots without being completely overcome by the urge to suck down a whole bottle of tequila – but you can’t have one shot, even if that’s all you want… at least not until the day after tomorrow.

So, am I getting too up in arms about all of this? Is it really that big of a deal to give up one kind of alcohol on your 21^st? Is this a good way of protecting people from themselves? Or is this just a way for the bars to avoid a little liability and flack from the school? Duke. It. Out.

Yeah it’s not the fairest thing in the world and we really shouldn’t have to depend on guys for anything, let alone a vodka soda, but I like to think we deserve a free cocktail now and then for everything else we have to deal with. And if the guy is willing to buy it, who are we to say no?

Let’s be honest: we’re in a recession, college tuition is going up and we’ve gotta save all the money we can for when we’re jobless after graduation. We have to be wary of what we spend and creative in how we save. And, thanks to our XX chromosomes (and our boobs), there’s no easier way to save a few bucks than at the bar.

And here are three very easy and creative ways to do so.

Bachelorette Party
This one probably won’t work on a college campus where a) everyone knows who you are and b) most people aren’t getting hitched, but it’s the quickest way to free drinks if you head off campus for a night or hit the bars in your hometown. Pick a girl in your group to be the bachelorette and go all out. Get her the veil, the sash, the tank top with “Last Night of Freedom” printed across the front. Then hit the bar. Dudes love a challenge/hate impending nuptials  and will be begging to buy her (and her friends) drinks. And if they’re not beating down your door and throwing Jager shots your way, ask them. Pretend you have to do a scavenger hunt and one of the items on the list is getting a guy to buy you a beer (and then another is to get a Long Island, and a vodka tonic, and a Red Headed Slut shot….) They won’t be able to say no. Bonus: seeing as you’re so obviously in a relationship, none of them will expect anything in return!

21st Birthday
The big 2-1 is a sacred event and everyone, whether they know you or not, wants to make sure you have the best night of your life. Already 21? No one has to know that. Just put on that birthday crown, grab a group of friends and head out. Make sure everyone at the bar knows it’s your 21st and you’ll be elbow deep in shots and cocktails in no time.

Bad Break Up
You’re going to have to bust out some acting skills for this one, but it will all be worth it in a few hours when you’re chowing down on late night pizza and haven’t spent a dollar all night. Gather a group of a few friends and designate a dumpee. Stand next to the bar and start chatting it up with some guys. Once the conversation is flowing, make mention of the fact that you were just dumped. Via text. After a year long relationship. Pepper the convo with a few “I need to just not think about it for the night”s, and “I’m single and ready to mingle!”s and you’ll be sipping on something tasty (and free) soon enough.

So far we’ve spent 2 birthdays each with one another, and with every year our relationship seems to get much more permanent. I know this shouldn’t just be dawning on me now, but if all goes to plan I’m going to be spending all of my birthdays with Matt. It’s a really comforting thought, but it’s also a bit scary.

On the one side, it’s really comforting because, well, let’s face it, nobody wants to die alone. I sleep better at night knowing that there’s somebody who’s going to love me when I’m old and wrinkly. On the other side, it’s kinda scary because, while I’m getting older, I still feel really young. Trust me when I say there are a lot of people who think I’m crazy for being committed to someone in my very early twenties. What if they’re right?

Well guess what, peoples of the internet: I don’t care what you think. I’m going to enjoy every single birthday I can with my boyfriend whom I love very much. From where I’m standing, there’s nothing wrong with two consenting adults falling in love. I don’t understand why people treat me like a doe-eyed 16-year-old girl when in fact, I’m a woman. I’ve had failed relationships, and I’ve learned from them. I know deep down that Matt’s the only person I want to spend the rest of my birthdays with. (And who I want holding my hair back on this particularly monumental one…)

If not this birthday, then which birthday will it be that people decide that it’s finally a-ok for me to be in a serious relationship? I get the feeling that the jury is out on that decision, so I’m going to go on with my life without caring what all the negative people think. or all those others who read this weekly dose of cuteness, thanks for being supportive; it’s really appreciated. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go get a drink that I’ve waited 21 years to buy.

(OK, I’m gonna order the drink I’ve been waiting 21 years to buy and have my loving BF pick up the tab…. it is my birthday, after all.)

#9: Reading for pleasure is magical. Make time for it!

Just last February, I was planning my 21^st birthday party. Now, I’m facing 22 (or as I like to call it 21+1) straight on. Even though the last twelve months have gone by, it feels like just yesterday I was indulging in jello shots and margaritas. For my 21st. Because just yesterday I was indulging in jello shots and margaritas.

Looking back, though, much has happened in the past year. It seems I’ve learned a lot while Ke$ha put a dollar sign in her name and started brushing her teeth with a “bottle of Jack,” John Mayer proclaimed that he is on the search for “the Joshua Tree of vaginas,” and the Jersey Shore became a national phenomenon.

So here (in no particular order) is what I know for certain after turning 21. Perhaps you youngsters can take a few things from this:

1. Friendships should make you happy — not pissed off : Friends should be so much more than people you dance on tables with and dish about the weekend to. They should be there for you, and you should be there for them. They also should not steal your alcohol on your 21^st birthday and make out with the fraternity guy, all while puking as your boyfriend helps take care of them.

2. Raincoats are amazing: They are often understated and overwhelmingly overlooked when it comes to fashion. But even if they aren’t fashionable, really, you can’t complain when that slicker keeps your from frizzing. Without a rain jacket I wouldn’t have made it through the summer in London. And I think it actually kept me going to class this past semester. Why didn’t I realize this sooner? It doesn’t matter if you have a basic from Lands End or a super sexy trench from Dillards, just get one!

3. Go to the gym: Surprisingly enough, it is worth your time. Who knew? I sure didn’t, until I started going religiously with my boyfriend back in September. If you actually go to the gym and do more than hang out on the treadmill and elliptical for thirty minutes, you can see results. Plus, it teaches you patience on so many different levels.

4. Do not drink MD 20/20: Even if the frat-mixed mojitos are watered down and tasting a bit like a dirty dance floor, stay away from the MD.

5. Do experience a Pimms with Lemonade: Although you probably have never heard of this drink before, Pimms with Lemonade is a London pub staple. The Pimms is to Wimbledon, as the mint julep is to the Kentucky Derby. This fresh tasting, fruity cocktail will may be enough to convince you to study abroad for a semester. It’s to die for.

6. Puppy Love = True Love: Dogs truly give the most unconditional love. Even though my boyfriend got a dog back in September and it has been a ton of work, I can’t help but keep falling in love with the little darling. You can’t have a bad day whenever a puppy is around. However, at the same time, the realization that having a puppy is a huge responsibility is constant and serves as amazing birth control for many, many years to come.

7. The VS Miraculous Push Up Bra is a miracle: The Victoria’s Secret new Miraculous Push Up bra is the greatest and latest thing to come into the world of retail. With a level 5 design to push up and lift, this push up bra is not playing around – it increases your breast size by two full cups. Unlike a lot of push up bras, this bra actually makes your boob size look believable, all while supplying comfort.

8. Hell No to the Snow: I can never live where it snows on a daily basis during the winter. After what I deemed the Great Snow of ’09 in Virginia (in which 24 inches of snow fell in two days), this has re-arranged my life geographically for good. Those applications to Illinois for graduate school?  Out the window. My dream of always visiting Maine? Only if it’s summer.  Multiple inches of snow at a time? No thanks.

9. Reading is magical: Taking the time to read for pleasure in between reading for class is one of the best ways to relax. This past year, I have rediscovered my love for reading, all while falling in love with some great stories. Need something to restart your love of reading? Read The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon or Train to Trieste by Domnica Radulescu.

10. “That’s So You!” It’s important to have your signature piece, be it clothing, music or opinion. This has made my life simpler and more defined.

11.  Meeting the Parents: Meeting the parents is scary. However, whether they like you or not is out of your hands. You can be the sweetest girl they have ever met, but if they don’t like the idea of their kid being with someone without the qualifications they are looking for (i.e.: money, a professional school degree), it doesn’t matter how amazing you are or how much you have going on for yourself. Just accept it and try not to take it to heart … too much.

12.  Post-Grad is intimidating: Graduate, law, and business school applications are a lot more comprehensive than they lead you to believe on first glance. Those statements of intent and optional essays are really unlike anything you have written in the past, unless you are a professional graduate school applicant. Starting early is the only way to preserve your sanity as senior year rolls around. And taking the GRE or LSAT, well those should have occurred a year ago. Oops!

13.  “Welcome to the real world, she said to me…:” Although the quarter-life crisis often seems inevitable, I have learned that I definitely do not want to go down the John Mayer permanent-existential-life-crisis road. While his never-ending misery will supply good music for more and more years to come (without a doubt), I choose to not dwell. It’s much healthier this way, even if I do enjoy indulging in his misery sometimes.

14.  Stop reading beauty magazines: I’ve stopped buying magazines and I feel much more enlightened.  Instead, I have stopped giving my $3.99 to advice on how to make a man moan and enjoy the in-depth features in the feminist friendly Bust magazine, and the musically progressive Paste.

15.  Give a Little Bit: Helping others is amazing and it makes you feel better than anything else can.

16.  It’s Overrated: Being a senior is overrated. I have had more work and more responsibility than ever before and I feel like with every passing day, more and more obligations come my way. While it seems that a lot of seniors are spending their nights partying and hanging out, I am writing 20-page papers and doing graduate school rain dances to promote a surplus of acceptance letters.

17.  To Thine Own Self, Be True: To be a writer, you need to have extremely thick skin. Regardless of what your stance is, someone is always going to go against it and you have to be true to yourself and the piece you are writing. The same goes for all facets of life; you gotta be you and that’s that.

18.  Big birthday parties don’t prove anything: Big birthday parties aren’t all that they are cracked up to be. After years of over-the-top Disney birthday,  the whole high school teenage hang-out-birthday scene, and the exuberantly drunk and pretentiously planned college birthday, I will take the quiet and intimate birthday dinner over anything else.  It’s better to celebrate with those that actually matter.

19.  Lady Gaga is a goddess: She’s given us greatness, i.e.: “I’m bluffin’ with my muffin,” disco-bras, “Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah! Roma-roman-mamaa! Ga-ga-ooh-la-la!,” and perhaps the greatest line of them, “I’m a free bitch, baby!” Her stage presence is to die for, and her genuine, authentic, down-to-Earth personality (come on, didn’t you see her on Oprah?) is addictive. Plus, I’ve seen a slew of live performances and I have to say, Gaga outperforms the rest with her Monster Ball.

20.  Say No to Parent Drama: If your parents are magnificent – great. If they aren’t, it is time to accept it and move on, instead of constantly wishing for your mother to be someone she is not.

21.  The Little Things Count: It’s important to relish the little things. In college, so much happens at once, it feels like the world can pass you by – especially once you turn 21 and the end of college seems very near. The most important lesson I’ve learned is to take time doing something you enjoy. It doesn’t matter if you want to get crazy drunk on a Friday night or take an extra art class, but do what gives you the most pleasure. Make time for more sex. Make time to cook dinner with your roommates. Just make time! As each year goes by, it is also important to look back to see what you’ve learned (whether it’s good, bad, ugly, or silly).

What has been the most ground-breaking discovery of your 21st year or your last birthday? Share!

College. Sigh. It’s unlike any other time in your life. It has its own set of rules, its own unique circumstances. And it’s not always easy to navigate. Everyone needs a little guidance now and then (or always) so we’ve pulled together a variety of perspectives (the does-it-all girl, the party girl and Ms. Study Lounge) to weigh in on your life conundrums and give you the best advice we can.

Every week they’ll be tackling your questions about college. From classes to keggers to keggers before classes, they’ll do their best to respond and be your Pez dispenser of collegiate wisdom. Got questions? Unsure of a decision? Just wanna chat it up with some really awesome chics?

Hit them up in the comments or shoot them an email with the subject “College Q&A”!

Question:
So, along with my 3 final exams and this mega paper that is worth 50% of my grade all happening next week, it’s my best friend/roommate’s 21st birthday this weekend. Any thoughts/tips/miracles that I might be able to use to fit it all in, do well and find time to pack to go home? I really don’t want to miss anything…

Busy Bee:
Being a person who is always bombarded with ten million important things at once, I completely understand. You need to start by making a to-do list and prioritizing everything – list out what REALLY needs to be done first. If you’re considering getting your schoolwork out of the way, then set aside time to sit down and really study for those exams and truly write that paper. That means getting rid of all possible distractions – Facebook, Twitter and, yes, your cell phone. Whether that means disabling your Internet for a few hours or asking your roommate to hide your cell phone from you, by all means, do it! Then, sit down and get serious. If you put your mind to it (and make lots of lists – including a packing list), anything can be accomplished. Oh, and would you look at that? Now you suddenly have time to throw your roommate a killer birthday party (since she’s your BFF, I’m going to assume you’ve already thought about this monumental day) and throw some clothes into a suitcase.

Party Girl:
Isn’t that always the way it goes? Fortunately, I’ve dealt with this situation often enough that I’ve developed a plan of attack. Spread the packing out over a couple days – put your suitcase on the floor and throw stuff in as you remember. That way, you’re not rushed to pack at the last second. As for the party vs. exam situation…the party is a maximum 6 hours of your time, right? That’s nothing! Study right up until you leave to go celebrate, remember to drink at least six full glasses of water during the night (one every hour) between delicious mojitos or whatever you guys are rocking, and before you drop into bed take an aspirin and eat some bread. This should help reduce your hangover so you can go right on studying the next day! There’s no reason you can’t party the weekend before exams – in fact, I’d say it’s beneficial to party before exams to relieve stress and anxiety. Enjoy your party and have a shot for the poor souls stuck inside studying.

GPA Girl:
This is a toughie, because you can’t apply the usual “Will this matter to me in five years?” question to your scenario. Odds are, you’ll remember both your exams (and their consequent grades) AND your BFF’s 21st bash in five years (unless you drink yourself into oblivion, of course . . .). I think you need to consider your priorities here. The fact that you’re concerned about these issues at all suggests to me that your grades matter to you a lot, and they should–you’ll need good ones later to land a killer job and be able to celebrate future birthdays with your best friend in style. Plus, she’s your bestie–she should understand that you need to sacrifice a little bit to study, which is your JOB right now. I’m not saying you shouldn’t go to her party; by all means, stop by and hang for an hour. But don’t get drunk, and don’t let “an hour” turn into all night. You’ll feel a lot better about things if you allow yourself the time you need to prepare for your exams and your paper (and to pack for home). If all else fails, hunker down for your work and offer your friend a rain check to party with her later.

Hope this helps!