We all agree that Lindsay Lohan is a train wreck. But can we really blame her for being so messed-up when she’s had to deal with parents like Michael and Dina Lohan?

Michael has been acting especially awful lately—he keeps leaking recordings of phone calls with Lindsay and her mom to the media, supposedly because he’s worried about her. Right, because the best way to help your strung-out daughter is by releasing calls that you recorded without her knowledge to the national press, who have always been nothing but kind to her.

What a douche.

Thinking about Michael Lohan reminds us of other Hollywood dads who are certified d-bags. Jon Gosselin, Alec Baldwin, the Hoff… all of them are rich, famous, and majorly jerky. But which one of them deserves to be named the Douchiest Hollywood Dad of all? Tell us what you think in the poll below. Read More »

Every week I count backwards from ten. I know, I’m kind of a big deal. Usually these countdowns have a theme like which phrases really grind my gears (“grind my gears” should be mentioned) or how I’m still effing sober, despite the fact that I could really go for a dirty martini right now.

I know it’s early, stop judging.

This week, in light of the ever-riveting Emmys, I’ve decided to countdown the ten primetime ladies that I wish I could be in real life. Most of them are from currently aired shows, but of course I had to let some of my canceled favorites slip by.

10. Cuddy – House
Who wouldn’t love to work with the ever lovable Dr. House? Cuddy is a complete non-pushover HBIC (look it up) who always looks fierce. And her hair is never out of place! Unlike that awful Cameron. Barf.

9. Lucille Bluth – Arrested Development
Why did this show get canceled? Why? I hope one day to be Lucille when I’m a “Gangy,” dirty martini in hand and Chanel skirt suits never out of place. Hopefully I’ll be slightly less mentally damaging to my family, though. Slightly.

8. Heidi Klum – Project Runway
The only non-fictional character on the list. This one’s a no brainer. Except I’m not sure how I’d go home to Seal every night.

7. Pam – The Office
I’m not a huge Pam fan. In fact, I was totally Team Karen while she was on the show. But, she has Jim Halpert (John Krasinski) and that’s all I need. Read More »

So who took home the big statues?

Rebecca Gayhart’s having a (crack) baby.

10 things not to say to your hot bartender.

Your menstrual cycle is blogging.

5 ways to meet someone this fall.

Custom size condoms?

In honor of CollegeCandy’s cocktail hour this week, the Weekly Ten will be on the 10 reasons we adore NYC! As a recent resident to NYC’s Upper West Side, here’s my take on my new favorite city…

10. Last Call- 3:30 AM.
This means you have plenty of time to dance on bars. If time is money, then take that money and spend it on shots of Patron.

9. The boys are BANGIN’
Is there anything hotter than an NYC boy? From the Columbia law students (hi, yum, slamshows) to the prepster Upper East Siders (hi, Chuck Bass), the city has a gaggle of gorgeous gentlemen. Beware of guidos.

8. SHOPPING.
Sample Sales, Saks and SHOES SHOES & MORE SHOES. Aughhhh! I want it all!

7. Celebs, celebs, celebs!
Okay, so every day after work I walk past Rockefeller Center, desperately looking for Alec Baldwin. Come out wherever you are, Jack Donaghy!

6. Slamming Nightlife
The hot, trendy bars (like the one we’ll be partying at); more clubs than you can think of; bars with crazy themes… there’s something for everyone in this here city.

5. Yummy foods
Magnolia, Serendipity, Dylan’s Candy Bar, Crumbs… and that’s just dessert! 24/7 diners for all your drunk munchie needs and New York pizza? Need I say more? Read More »

Nominations for the 61st Emmy Awards were announced today and I’m excited.  Not only do I have a degree of expertise in this particular area (I watch a LOT of TV), but I find that the Emmy Awards are even more bitchy than the Oscars…and that pleases me.  Also, this particular awards show validates all my time spent on my couch (and youtube, hulu, etc.) being a lazy jerk and watching TV.  I can say I was “researching.”  Yeah.  Researching.

My “researching,” as it were, has lead me to spot a couple snubs and surprises in this year’s crop of nominations.  The first (and most important) surprise is the acting and series categories were expanded to hold more contenders.  This is awesome because shows (that I adore) that aren’t normally included now have the chance at major awards.  This is not awesome because now I will have a major identity crisis during the actual awards show.  For example, Family Guy has gotten a nomination for best comedy series.  That puts the show up against others like The Office, 30 Rock, Flight of the Conchords and more.  Well…crap.  I love all of those.  WTF am I supposed to do now??

The reality series category held more shockers.  As in, no Jon & Kate Plus 8?? No Real Housewives?  Does the world hold no meaning any more?! Those shows are some of the best on TV – how do those Emmy people not realize that? Sure, Jon and Kate Plus Drama…and Ed Hardy is getting a little annoying, but don’t you want to see who went with who to the awards show?

And what Kate would do to dress up that hair? Read More »

Jamie Lynn Spears is officially a single mom.

The Emmy Nominations are out! Go, 30 Rock!

Wanna find a boyfriend? Try these tips…

Bethenny Frankel’s getting her own show!

Watch out, ladies. Amy Winehouse is back on the market!

In case you, too, want the strongest vajayjay.

We’re back with another edition of G.W.W.E. (Guys We Wanna Eff), and no, that’s not a typo! This week, we have a very special treat in store–instead of featuring one luscious lad, we have decided to salute ten of Hollywood’s hottest vets in honor of Memorial Day. Some battled enemies on the war front, others on screen, but all of these studs are on our short list for a pleasure-filled patriotic eff. After all, what’s hotter than a man in uniform? Read More »

You can track him right here.

Gingerbread houses are hard to make. Here’s a little help.

Are ELF cosmetics as good as the expensive stuff?

Who did Bush pardon this time?

5 questions to ask at your annual exam.

Merry Chrismahanukwanzakah!

In a recession, should you settle?

Are Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin fighting? Say it ain’t so!

More fabulous New Year’s dresses for under $150!

The Hills’ girls head back to the West Coast.

Best post-Christmas bargains!

They’re trooping off to the polls in the biting November chill, snug in their Uggs and North Faces zipped to the collars. They’re waking up too early and standing around in long lines for something that isn’t free food. They’re American college students, and they are voting.

Smell that? That’s the smell of freedom. Also, American college students don’t shower much.

Are you with them – or are you against them? Political nihilists beware: the jaded, “The-electoral-college-it’s-a-broken-system-f**k-I’m-moving-to-the-Moon” attitude won’t get you anywhere this year, because cynicism is out and passion is in! If it’s such a big stick up your ass, go vote for Bob Barr or something. If he’s not on the ballot, write-in “John from College Candy.” But please, do go and vote.

And what about this evening? You probably don’t have anything important to do while you watch poll results stream in, and “Nation’s First Black President” or “Nation’s First Woman Vice President” are both perfectly acceptable reasons to skip all your classes tomorrow. This means you should drink! Read More »

It’s rainy. It’s windy. You haven’t seen sunlight in days, you didn’t do so hot on today’s pop quiz, and you really don’t feel like reading about the Enlightenment for history class. What better way to beat the dreariness and procrastinate than by having a comedy movie marathon to boost your spirits and make you laugh?

When fall settles in and it’s not as much fun to walk through campus on a chilly, dismal day, grab a bunch of kids from your hall, pop some warm, buttery popcorn, and veg out in flannel pj’s and sweats. You’ll feel better, you’ll have fun, and best of all, these movies sure as hell beat anything that sprung from the Enlightenment! Read More »