Courtney Cox and David Arquette split. I cry.

A few signs your prof doesn’t like you.

Brett Favre: let another sports/sex scandal begin!

Could this man be our next president?!

Willy Wonka gum about to become a reality?? ZOMG!

What’s the best couple costume you’ve ever seen?

Uh, that’s enough, Aaron Carter. Ew.

Check out Lady Gaga’s acting debut.

But then one day my beloved Aaron decided to take to drugs, and my delusions of perfection were busted. He divorced his parents, got engaged to a Playboy model for all of two seconds and generally sucked all around. I let my love for AC fall by the wayside.

Now Aaron is back in the spotlight and I’m torn. The last I saw him, Aaron had left me broken-hearted and disappointed. Can he dance his way back into my heart?

Love it

Aaron and his partner, Karina Smirnoff, kicked off the season premiere of “Dancing with the Stars,” and boy was he looking good. His Cha-Cha number was absolutely stunning.  I would go as far as to say, Aaron may be the new Lord of the Dance.

All the bad press surrounding Aaron and the Carter family seems to be forgotten, and apparently, he doesn’t drink anymore! That’s good. Keep yourself out of trouble, Aaron. We know you’ve had problems with gateway drugs in the past. In fact, we saw it live (well, pre-recorded) on E!

I still know all the words to “That’s How I Beat Shaq” and would give anything for Aaron to do a remake of that classic hit. He was a budding pop-star with a bright future. Since his downfall he has cleaned up his act, and I think he deserves another chance.

And between you and me, I secretly hope Aaron Googles his own name, sees this post and contacts me in hopes of regaining a neglected fan. Fingers crossed!

Loathe it

So much of what I loved about him back in his “Oh Aaron” days was his little boy preciousness. But it seems that he hasn’t quite outgrown that phase yet. My guess is he is weighing in at around 101 lbs, two of which can be attributed to the amount of hair gel used to get his blonde locks to swoop in an ocean-like wave. And there is no doubt in my mind that he will never be able to grow a full beard.

Also, and I hate to say it, but I’m questioning Aaron’s sexuality. There was a slight blip on my gay-dar as I watched him shake his hips on “Dancing with the Stars.” I have no evidence to back this up, but I’m definitely going to keep a close eye on his personal life.

And his most grave offense to date happened in a recent interview on Chelsea Lately. No, I’m not talking about that graphic tee he was wearing; Aaron admitted, with a seemingly proud smile on his face, to cheating on Hillary Duff…. with her best friend!  That’s a no-no, little Aaron. What a pig.

So what’s the word, is Aaron’s party back on? Or am I living in the past?

As a woman, I know we have a tendency to be rather catty at times. I’m not sure if it is nature or nurture, but it is there and sometimes it can get the best of us. Who is better to teach women the art of cattiness, than the women of Hollywood? We are constantly exposed to bickering women not only on TV and in the movies, but also in the celebreality of their day-to-day lives. The cattiness factor comes more often than not when a man is involved and the love triangle becomes a tug-of-war. (Please keep in mind, in most of these upcoming catty situations the guy is hardly worth it…except for maybe Brad.)

In December’s issue of Vogue, hitting stands next week, Jennifer Aniston discusses her feelings about Angelina Jolie providing a time-line for when she and Brad Pitt began having their affair (yes, while Jen and Brad were still married.) Jen said it was really “uncool” and “inappropriate” of Ang to discuss their affair, especially admitting the fact that she couldn’t wait to come to work during the filming of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Poor Jen. She’s better off without him! Though he is mighty fine to look at…

Breaking up is hard to do, especially when ex-husband starts bangin’ your best friend. As was the case in with Heather Locklear, Richie Sambora, and Denise Richards. Locklear reportedly went crazy when she found out Richards was boning her ex-husband, Sambora. In the end, Richie lost both of the hot women in his life, Heather may have turned into a drunk and Denise has revitalized her career as a hollywood homewrecker. Bummer.

Lindsay Lohan. Enough said, right? She has been in the news for everything from drug abuse to turning gay, but there was a time when she was an innocent teenager whose boyfriend cheated on her. Lindsay and Hilary Duff were at each other’s throats calling each other immature and childish over a little spat over…get this: Aaron Carter! (teeheehee…come on girls, seriously?) Hilary went as far to say that she hated Lindsay. May not sound like much, but at Disney that is like a racial slur. Ouch!

Why anyone would ever date or even look at K-Fed, I’m not exactly sure. But, two women did and they even fought over the loser, which is even more difficult to imagine. Not only did Shar Jackson and Britney cat fight over K-Fed, they even had his gross babies (ok, ok they aren’t gross. They’re actually pretty cute). Britney stole Shar’s man…. and then she went crazy insane. Coincidence? I think not. K-Fed is the human version of ebola.

Where there is smoke, there always seems to be a blond hotel heiress. Paris Hilton once dated Rick Solomon and then Rick married Shannen Doherty. I guess Shannen didn’t want to make “movies” with Rick, so he started boinking Paris, again. Unfortunately, it was while he was still married to Shannen. Paris allegedly sent psycho messages to Shannen telling her to leave Rick alone. It appears that money doesn’t always bring happiness or sanity, but it will attract a greasy wanna-be amateur porn-king. I am glad I am poor.

Life doesn’t come equipped with an orchestra. If your sexcapades, like your iTunes, are on shuffle, here are a few songs you probably don’t want on your playlist.

1. “Dat Baby”–Shawty Putt feat. Lil Jon

With a chorus of “Dat baby don’t look like me,” and an opening line, “Dat baby ain’t mine… I’m sorry, bitch you heard Maury,” this jam is an instant libido-killer. The last thing a guy wants to hear as he’s sliding into home base is “You are NOT the father!” Sure, you’re using protection, but condoms aren’t 100% effective…paternity tests, on the other hand, don’t lie. Besides, no woman wants to find out that her cute college hookup won’t take responsibility if an accident does happen.

2. “You’re Pretty When I’m Drunk”– Bloodhound Gang

You can kick yourself in the morning when you sober up and realize that the guy you brought home from the bar last night looks nothing like David Beckham (actually, he more closely resembles Danny DeVito), so you don’t need Jimmy Pop saying “I told you so.” Besides, lines like “I’m hungry like the wolf, but I’ll end up taming cattle,” and “it wouldn’t be the first time that I gave a dog a bone,” though satirical, are pretty harsh. As liberated, self-respecting women, we know we’re pretty when he’s sober, too, inside and out.

3. “John Wayne Gacy, Jr.”– Sufjan Stevens

If you didn’t know that this song is about the infamous serial killer, you might think the gentle ballad sets the mood. However, if your ears perk up at the lines, “And in my best behavior, I am really just like him/ Look underneath the floor boards for the secrets I have hid,” you’ll probably get creeped out, and ask yourself how well you really know the guy who’s jamming his tongue down your throat.

4. “UR So Gay”– Katy Perry

Straight guys will go flacid as soon as Ms. Perry belts her titular accusation in the chorus. They won’t even listen to the following line, “you don’t even like boys.” Homophobic or not, men don’t like to have their sexualities questioned. Besides, the whole song is an angry letter to a shallow metrosexual. You would never want your lover to “hang [himself] with an H & M scarf,” now, would you?

5. “MmmBop”– Hanson

This song will actually probably cause many social situations to take a turn down Embarrassment Alley. If you’re a closet Hanson fan, that’s fine. But your guy might not appreciate your “special” quirks.

Any I missed?