I’m exhausted. I’m a little buzzed. And if I never eat another cucumber and cream cheese sandwich again I’ll be perfectly content. But despite all that and the fact that the Royal Couple merely pecked one another for the big moment, I wouldn’t change it for anything. (OK, maybe if I had actually been invited to the wedding, but whatev.)

Yes, like so many others around the world, I woke up at the butt crack of dawn this morning to watch Prince William marry Katherine Middleton. Time differences are brutal, especially across a body of water. I spent last night and this morning watching news coverage with a few friends who were willing to forgo sleep to witness history. Let me emphasize, few. My mass-text invitation was not well received, but I needed to watch, at any cost. We all have our own reasons, including my Mom who “was just up, and had nothing else to watch.” My reasons, however, and much more substantial. Kinda.

The Dress.

They say it’s easier to find The One than it is to find The Dress. I can’t comment on that as I am having a really difficult time finding anyone at the moment, but with Kate’s impeccable style, I just couldn’t sleep until I knew which Brit designer she went with. And it was totally worth it. Kate, now known as the Duchess of Cambridge, looked absolutely stunning in her long sleeved lace dress. And that train? That’s the kind of thing only a Princess can pull off.

The Hats.

JFK’s Inauguration was the end of hat wear in America, but that hasn’t stopped the Brits from embracing the toppers like never before, crazy feathers, jewels, ribbons and all. I’m sure it was rather annoying for whomever was sitting behind some of these women, but after seeing that serious head wear, I’m totally starting a movement to make hats to be all the rage in 2012.

Prince Harry.

He’s still single, girls! Plus, he’s young , still has a full head of hair (Score!), and he’s super funny and doesn’t take anything too seriously. (Don’t believe me? Google image search him–he’s the master of candids and funny camera faces.)

Monarchies are awesome.

Sure, I love America, but there is something so fancy about watching Princes and Dukes, Duchesses and Princesses, and, of course, the Queen of England. It’s like a Disney Movie, only without the singing and dancing animals.

What can I say, I’m a sucker for romance.

She’s a “commoner” who has become a Princess. She married her college sweetheart. They’re totally and obviously in love. It’s the grandest wedding I’ll ever see. I mean, I’m the girl who stays in on Friday nights to watch ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ reruns; how could I not get up and watch this?

Plus, everyone likes to watch pretty people kiss, or is that just me?

London.

I visited the city last year during my semester abroad and I loved it. Since I can’t actually be outside Buckingham Palace and Westminster Cathedral, the least I can do is reminisce about my trip through the TV. At 3 am.

Two Words: David. Beckham.

You think he looks good on the field? Nothing compared to how he looks in a suit. Yum.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to take a nap.

According to StopHazing.org, hazing is defined as “any activity expected of someone joining a group (or to maintain full status in a group) that humiliates, degrades or risks emotional and/or physical harm, regardless of the person’s willingness to participate.” That can include everything from going to an event in costume to being thrown off a roof between two matresses (and yes, that did happen at my school).

In its original form, hazing was used to create a bond between a group of people. Basically, older members would put their new recruits through obstacles in attempts to force them to band together against their oppressors. And in theory it works – how many times during middle school did you and your classmates band together when faced with an evil teacher or, better, a sub?

The problem is that it has gone too far. Students are getting injured and sometimes even killed during acts of hazing. ABC recently did a study on this where they brought hazing out into the open to see if people would step up and stop the cruel acts. And what happened?

Well, when men were being hazed most people stepped in to stop it. When women were being hazed, however, most people stood by and watched, letting the poor girls be humiliated and hurt. It was a spectacle and people wanted to see what happened next.

It was horrifying and difficult to watch, but it made me realize that I have done this many times. Not only was I hazed as a freshman (mostly benign things like dressing up or being an older girl’s “slave”), but I knew about many other kids being hazed and never did anything about it. I wrote it off as just another thing that “everyone goes through” and let it continue. Yes, even when it was happening in front of me.

Campuses have cracked down on hazing recently, but it has not stopped. Could this be because we, the people closest to it, allow it to go on?

Every college student has encountered hazing in some way, so I’d like to know: would you stop hazing if you saw it? If not, why? Let it all out in the comments.

Remember how a few weeks ago, Janet Jackson got sick and was rushed to the hospital and then was “fine” but still nobody would say what the hell happened?  Well, someone thinks they know the real scoop.

As reported by Celebitchy via ABC News, ABC Entertainment writer Luchina Fisher is pretty certain Janet Jackson is pulling out of certain concert venues because no one gives a crap about her anymore.

Trying to maintain her “sex-kitten” image at 42 just isn’t working, and unlike Madonna or Tina Turner, Jackson’s songs aren’t maturing with her.  Plus, her newest album, “Discipline”, has sold less than 500,000 copies.

If this is true, we definitely feel bad for Janet.  Nothing is worse than realizing you’re too old for something.  The day we realized swinging on swings made us want to puke from motion sickness rather than scream from childish joy was the saddest day in our lives.

I did not, however, expect this: High heels for babies.

Yeah, you heard me.

Heelarious is a website that delivers soft shoes for babies, 0 – 6 months, who just can’t stop begging their mommies for some hot pink platforms. Featured in In Touch Weekly, New York Post, ABC News, ET Online and more, these plush shoes look like high heels and will give your baby the best look for her, um, day care class?!?!?! (Editor’s Note: Daycare is totes the best place to meet a guy!)

The New York Post called its article, “For Well-Heeled Fashionable Tots,” and, at $35.00 a pair, they’re obviously necessary for an individual who can’t even walk yet. With all different styles (hot pink, zebra pattern and – yes, even – leopard), your daughter, before her first birthday, will have conformed to society’s stereotypes! How proud you will be.

I know they’re kind of cute, but you’re going to stick your 6 month old infant in high heels?! Does anyone else see the irony in this besides me? Are we that interested in being part of a social stigma that only tolerates the most fashionable of things, that infants can’t just wear little booties without being considered unfashionable? And why do we even care if our baby is in style? It is a child, not an accessory!

With things like “heelarious,” society is trying to rush the youth of children and quickly turn them into the next generation of Paris Hiltons and Lindsay Lohans.

Slow down people…no need to rush. It’s bad enough little 15 year olds are becoming hyper-sexualized, but babies? High heels can wait. This is just one style bandwagon I wont jump on. Are you with me? Any other ridiculous baby trends you’re seeing?

[Photo courtesy of the New York Post Online]

A new study conducted by Columbia University and the New York State Psychiatric Institute’s HIV Center for Clinical and Behavioral Studies claims “Those who lose their virginity at a later age — around 21 to 23 years of age — tend to be more likely to experience sexual dysfunction problems late.”

Even though this new study makes it seem like losing your virginity too late will cause your body to freak out, in actuality, what the numbers really show is that waiting to have sex is sometimes an indicator of preexisting bodily issues.

And to that conclusion, I say, well, of course.

“[M]en with sexual problems may avoid sexual interactions and consequently start later” the study finds, going on to explain that those who get married later without much sexual experience tend to have a difficult time with arousal and reaching orgasm.

“Fear of intimacy, body image problems, alcohol and drug abuse” and shame connected to sexual acts are also issues that come attached to delayed sexual activity, yet many experts examining this particular study believe psychological trauma is the cause of sexual dysfunction, and delayed sexual activity is merely a symptom of such dysfunction.

So basically, having sex later in life may be linked to sexual issues, but those issues were most likely with you way before you jumped into the sack.

Is this common sense to anyone else? The only thing this new study (appearing in the January 2008 issue of the American Journal of Public Health) seems to prove that Abstinence Only programs are probably one-way ticket to confusion later on in life. As ABC News reports, when normal sexual experimentation is “inhibited or not guided, there can be poor sexual health outcomes.”

Risqué headlines aside, it looks like all we got is another study that wants us to embrace safe sex.

So go out and make science proud!

Which is why this girl makes me so sad. Aside from the fact that it is absolutely ridiculous, I just feel sad for her.

Brooke Bates was 12 years old when she opted for liposuction and a tummy tuck to take the pounds off. At the time she was 220 pounds, which isn’t a healthy weight. But lipo and a tummy tuck during a time when your body is naturally changing due to puberty? It just seems ludicrous.

Brooke lost 40 pounds from the surgery, which she says took her from being the “big, fat girl to the popular girl.” But then less than a year later, she had gained all but five pounds back. Which makes me think that she—or her parents—weren’t combining healthy eating and exercise (and probably much needed therapy) in with her surgery. It isn’t a quick fix, especially when you’re 12. In fact, surgery shouldn’t be a way to fix it at all at that age.

Twelve is just too young.

Since the lipo didn’t work, Brooke and her parents decided to do gastric lap band surgery. But doctors in America typically don’t perform that surgery until age 18 or the patient has a BMI of over 40 or is twice their ideal weight. So the Bates went down to Mexico to have the procedure.

Yes, Mexico. They took their daughter to Mexico to have surgery. And she’s 13.

Now, Mr. and Mrs. Bates, don’t you think the American doctors wouldn’t perform the surgery for a REASON??

I’m going to say YES. But Brooke found it hard to stick to a diet and exercise routine. Brooke’s mother Cindy says they opted for the lap band so that the teen could “control her hunger and how much food intake she was putting into her body everyday.”

Brooke thought her overeating was from addiction, her mother blamed family genes. Whatever the cause of Brooke’s weight problem, diet, exercise and therapy should have been enough until she was older—and her body and good habits had fully developed.

I know what it is like to feel fat at that age. Even though I wasn’t overweight, my teen years were by my issues with my body. So I understand the feeling. But surgery so young just isn’t the answer.

Right. He’s just some old, white dude who used to have a long title. But his reasons for resigning are more interesting than you might think. The State Department claimed that Tobias resigned for “personal reasons”. Personal as in, whoops I paid for prostitutes!

Yup. Tobias himself revealed to ABC News last week that he had been a client of Deborah Jeane Palfrey, the alleged “D.C Madam” who supposedly ran an escort service that catered to some pretty high profile Washington D.C clients.

Palfrey herself is currently in court, fighting a federal racketeering and money-laundering indictment, and pages and pages of personal client information are being inspected in the process.

While Tobias claims that he hired “gals come over to the condo to give me a massage”, he denies any sexual contact. Palfrey also denies sex as being a component to her girls’ work, although any person with half a brain knows that escort service is basically synonymous with “high class prostitute”.

While I really don’t care what old white dudes do in the bedroom, I’ve always found it strange that these high powered men continually stoop to such stupid levels. Remember Ted Haggard? He was also a fan of “massages”, he just preferred his with a side order of Meth.

These men spend three fourths of their lives moving up in the ranks, reach the pinnacle of their careers, and then blow everything for sex? For sex?! (oh. excuse me. I mean, for massages?!) Is it just a case of I’m-So-Important-I-Forget-Rules- Apply-To-Me? Or pure stupidity? Is sex really that important, that vital, to these men? So crucial that they’re willing to get it illegally while risking their entire careers? I mean, I love me some good coital action, but jeopardizing everything else in my life for it seems a little redonkulous.

…Who knows? Maybe Tobias and Haggard were just confused. Maybe they just got the words escort service and professional masseuse mixed up. I mean…they both have S’s in them.