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Abigail Breslin is one rich teenager

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Our tween stars have got it all. Flashy style, insane amounts of talent and loyal fans out the wazoo. So when it comes to deciding which is the Most Influential Tween Star, you can see how we’re having a bit of trouble. I mean, just take a look…

Rebecca Black: She had everyone everywhere singing that catchy-as-hell Friday, Friday gotta get down on Friday line over and over again in their heads. I’m not joking. I think orphans in Ethiopia were probably walking around humming along to the beat in their head.

Miranda Cosgrove: She’s the Guinness Book of World Records’ Highest Paid Child Actress for her role on the show iCarly. She’s also a recording artist, having contributed four songs to the iCarly soundtrack. And what have you done today?

Selena Gomez: In addition to starring in the hit tv show The Wizards of Waverly Place and acting in numerous movies, Selena’s released two albums that have both gone gold and featured platinum certified singles. Oh, and she’s dating Justin Bieber. Can you say power tween couple?

Dakota Fanning: Acting genius at age…what?…like three? This girl’s seriously the original tween star of our generation. Though she’s opted for serious Hollywood roles instead of flashy Disnsey or Nickelodeon tv hits, she’s been a trendsetter all the same.

Abigail Breslin: Little Miss Sunshine and America’s Sweetheart. Girl’s got some acting chops and some wicked dance moves. She’s definitely the reason why Super Freak is in my iTunes library.

Guess how much Abigail Breslin makes (it’s a lot)

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Facebook gets ROASTED

This girl looks familiar. Where do you know her from? Did she live on your hall freshman year? No… But you know that face. Those big brown eyes, that curly hair…

Waaaait a second.
You got it.
Yes! You know who it is!

Ruthie.
Ruthie Camden!
The adorable daughter to Rev. Eric Camden that we watched grow up on 7th Heaven.

Yeah, now she’s a 19-year-old sexpot taking promiscuous photos in her bathroom and posting them on the Internet. Not to mention the documented girl-on-girl tongue action. What happened to sweet, innocent, Jesus-loving Ruthie!?

I know what happened. Miley/Vanessa/Lohan happened. So thanks, girls, for ruining yet another young Hollywood starlet. Stay away from Abigail Breslin, bitches.